1The Misery of Shyness.doc

The Misery of Shyness 羞怯的痛苦羞怯的痛苦Betty Sobel and Lorraine C. Smith Shyness is the cause of much unhappiness for a great many people. 對許多人來說，羞怯是很多不愉快的起因。All kinds of people describe themselves as N shy: short, tall, dull, intelligent, young, old, slim, overweight. 各種各樣的人矮的、高的、愚笨的、聰明的、年輕的、年老的、瘦的、胖的都說自己是羞怯的。Shy people are anxious and self-conscious N; that is, they are excessively concerned with their own appearance and actions. 羞怯的人會焦慮不安，感到不自然；也就是說，他們過分地關(guān)注自己的外表和舉止。 Worrisome thoughts are constantly swirling in their minds: What kind of impression am I making? Do they like me? Do I sound stupid? Im ugly. Im wearing unattractive clothes. 腦海中不斷盤旋著一些使自己不安的想法：我給人留下的是什么印象？他們喜歡我嗎？我講話是不是傻里傻氣？我長得難看。我穿的衣服毫不引人注目。2 It is obvious that such uncomfortable feelings must affect people adversely. 很顯然這種不安的感覺會對人產(chǎn)生不利的影響。A persons self-concept is reflected in the way he or she behaves, and the way a person behaves affects other peoples reactions. 一個人的自我看法反映在自己的行為方式之中，而一個人的行為方式又影響他人的反應(yīng)。In general, the way people think about themselves has a profound effect on all areas of their lives. 通常，人們?nèi)绾慰创约簩λ麄兩畹母鱾€方面都會產(chǎn)生深刻的影響。For instance, people who have a positive sense of self-worth or high self-esteem usually act with confidence. 例如，具有積極的自我價值觀或很強(qiáng)自尊心的人往往表現(xiàn)出自信。 Because they have self-assurance, they do not need constant praise and encouragement from others to feel good about themselves. 而由于自信，他們不需要他人不斷地稱贊和鼓勵，也能使自己感覺良好。Self-confident people participate in life enthusiastically and spontaneously. 自信者熱情、自發(fā)地投入生活。They are not affected by what others think they should do. 他們不因別人認(rèn)為他們“該”做什么而受到影響。 People with high self-esteem are not hurt by criticism; they do not regard criticism as a personal attack. 有很強(qiáng)自尊心的人不會被批評所傷害；他們不會把批評看作是人身攻擊。Instead, they view a criticism as a suggestion for improvement. 相反，他們認(rèn)為批評是一種提醒他們改進(jìn)的建議。3 In contrast, shy people, having low self-esteem, are likely to be passive and easily influenced by others. 相比之下，羞怯的人自尊心較弱，往往消極被動并且容易受他人影響。They need reassurance that they are doing the right thing. 他們（是否）在做“該做的事情”需要得到別人的肯定。Shy people are very sensitive N to criticism; they feel it confirms N their inferiority. 害羞的人對批評非常敏感；他們覺得批評正好證實了他們比別人差。 They also find it difficult to be pleased by compliments N because they believe they are unworthy of praise. 他們也很難因別人的贊美而高興，因為他們相信自己不值得稱贊。A shy person may respond to a compliment with a statement like this one: Youre just saying that to make me feel good. I know its not true. 羞怯的人也許會用這樣的話來回答別人的贊美之辭：“你這么說只是為了讓我感覺好一些。我知道這不是真的。”It is clear that, while N self-awareness is a healthy quality, overdoing it is detrimental, or harmful. 顯然，盡管自我意識是一種健康的品質(zhì)，過分的自我意識卻是不利和有害的。4 Can shyness be completely eliminated N, or at least reduced? 能否徹底消除或者至少減輕羞怯感呢？Fortunately, people can overcome shyness with determined and patient effort in building self-confidence. 幸運(yùn)的是，人們能夠通過堅持不懈的努力建立自信從而克服羞怯。 Since shyness goes hand in hand with lack of self-esteem, it is important for people to accept their weaknesses as well as their strengths. 由于膽怯和缺少自尊是密切相關(guān)的，因此正視自己的弱點(diǎn)和正視自己的優(yōu)點(diǎn)一樣重要。 For example, most people would like to be A students in every subject. 例如，大多數(shù)人希望每門功課都得A。 It is not fair for them to label themselves as inferior because they have difficulty in some areas. 如果僅僅因為在某些領(lǐng)域有困難，就把自己列為差生，這不恰如其分。Peoples expectations N of themselves must be realistic. 人們對自己的期望必須現(xiàn)實。Dwelling on the impossible leads to a sense of inadequacy, and even feelings of envy, or jealousy. 老是想那些不可能的事情會令自己覺得無能，甚至產(chǎn)生嫉妒。We are self-destructive when we envy a student who gets better grades. 當(dāng)我們嫉妒比自己成績好的學(xué)生時，我們正在自我否定。5 If you are shy, here are some specific helpful steps toward building self-confidence and overcoming shyness: 如果你害羞，這里有些具體有效的步驟幫助你樹立信心并克服羞怯感：6 1. Recognize your personal strengths and weaknesses. 認(rèn)清自己的優(yōu)缺點(diǎn)。Everyone has both. 每個人既有優(yōu)點(diǎn)又有缺點(diǎn)。As self-acceptance grows, shyness naturally diminishes. 隨著對自我的不斷認(rèn)同，羞怯感就會自然減弱。7 2. Set reasonable goals. 確定合理的目標(biāo)。For example, you may be timid about being with a group of strangers at a party. 例如，在聚會時和一群陌生人在一起，你也許會怯場。Dont feel that you must converse with everyone. 不要以為你必須和每個人交談。Concentrate on talking to only one or two people. You will feel more comfortable. 集中精力，僅和一兩個人交談，你會感到更自在些。8 3. Guilt and shame are destructive feelings. 內(nèi)疚和羞恥感是消極的情感。Dont waste time and energy on them. 不要把時間和精力浪費(fèi)在這上頭。Suppose you have hurt someones feelings. Feeling ashamed accomplishes nothing. 假設(shè)你傷害了某人的感情，（光）感到羞愧是無濟(jì)于事的。Instead, accept the fact that you have made a mistake, and make up your mind to be more sensitive in the future. 相反，應(yīng)該承認(rèn)你犯了個錯誤，并決心在將來更加善解人意。9 4. There are numerous approaches to all issues. 所有問題都有許多種解決辦法。Few opinions are completely right or wrong. 很少有完全正確或完全錯誤的意見。 Dont be afraid to speak up and give your point of view. 要敢于公開表達(dá)自己的觀點(diǎn)。10 5. Do not make negative comments about yourself. 不要對自己做消極的評論。This is a form of self-rejection. 這是一種自我否定。Avoid describing yourself as stupid, ugly, a failure. 千萬別把自己描述為愚蠢的、丑陋的，或者一個失敗者 Accent the positive. 注重自己積極的方面。11 6. Accept criticism thoughtfully. 接受批評時要縝密思考。Do not interpret it as a personal attack. 不要把批評理解為人身攻擊。If, for example, a friend complains about your cooking, accept it as a comment on your cooking, not yourself. 例如，如果一位朋友抱怨你的烹飪技術(shù)，要把這當(dāng)成對你的烹飪技術(shù)而不是對你本人的評價而接受下來。Be assured that you are still good friends, but perhaps your cooking could improve. 放心，你們還是好朋友，但你的烹飪技術(shù)也許確實有待改進(jìn)。12 7. Remember that everyone experiences some failures and disappointments. 記住，每個人都會經(jīng)歷一些失敗和挫折。Profit from them as learning experiences. 要把它們作為增長見識的經(jīng)歷，從中受益。Very often a disappointment becomes a turning point N for a wonderful experience to come along. 挫折往往會成為轉(zhuǎn)機(jī)，隨之而來的將是一段美妙絕倫的經(jīng)歷。For instance, you may be rejected by the college of your choice. 例如，你可能被你所中意的大學(xué)拒之門外。However, at the college you actually attend, you may find a quality N of education beyond what you had expected. 然而，在你就讀的大學(xué)里，你可能發(fā)現(xiàn)這里教育的某一特點(diǎn)比你料想的好得多。13 8. Do not associate with people who make you feel inadequate. 有些人會使你感到自己無能，不要和這種人交往。Try to change their attitude or yours, or remove yourself from that relationship. 去設(shè)法改變他們對你的態(tài)度或者改變你對自己的態(tài)度，要不就脫離這種關(guān)系。People who hurt you do not have your best interests at heart. 傷害你的人并不關(guān)心你的最大利益。14 9. Set aside time to relax, enjoy hobbies, and re-evaluate your goals regularly. 留出時間休息，享受自己的業(yè)余愛好，并且定期地重新審定自己的目標(biāo)。Time spent this way helps you learn more about yourself. 為此所花費(fèi)的時間有助于更好地了解你自己。15 10. Practice being in social situations. 多在社交場合中鍛煉。 Dont isolate yourself from people. 不要把自己同他人隔離開來。 Try making one acquaintance at a time; eventually you will circulate in large groups with skill and self-assurance. 設(shè)法一次結(jié)識一位朋友；最終你將能夠嫻熟而自信地在眾人中周旋。16 Each one of us is a unique, valuable individual. 我們每個人都是獨(dú)一無二、難能可貴的個體。 We are interesting in our own personal ways. 我們自有吸引人的地方。The better we understand ourselves, the easier it becomes to live up to our full potential. 我們對自己了解得越多，就越容易充分發(fā)揮自己的潛力。Lets not allow shyness to block our chances for a rich and fulfilling life. 不要讓羞怯成為阻礙我們擁有豐富和成功生活的絆腳石( 820 words) 對許多人來說，羞怯是很多不愉快的起因。各種各樣的人矮的、高的、愚笨的、聰明的、年輕的、年老的、瘦的、胖的都說自己是羞怯的。羞怯的人會焦慮不安，感到不自然；也就是說，他們過分地關(guān)注自己的外表和舉止。腦海中不斷盤旋著一些使自己不安的想法：我給人留下的是什么印象？他們喜歡我嗎？我講話是不是傻里傻氣？我長得難看。我穿的衣服毫不引人注目。很顯然這種不安的感覺會對人產(chǎn)生不利的影響。一個人的自我看法反映在自己的行為方式之中，而一個人的行為方式又影響他人的反應(yīng)。通常，人們?nèi)绾慰创约簩λ麄兩畹母鱾€方面都會產(chǎn)生深刻的影響。例如，具有積極的自我價值觀或很強(qiáng)自尊心的人往往表現(xiàn)出自信。而由于自信，他們不需要他人不斷地稱贊和鼓勵，也能使自己感覺良好。自信者熱情、自發(fā)地投入生活。他們不因別人認(rèn)為他們“該”做什么而受到影響。有很強(qiáng)自尊心的人不會被批評所傷害；他們不會把批評看作是人身攻擊。相反，他們認(rèn)為批評是一種提醒他們改進(jìn)的建議。相比之下，羞怯的人自尊心較弱，往往消極被動并且容易受他人影響。他們（是否）在做“該做的事情”需要得到別人的肯定。害羞的人對批評非常敏感；他們覺得批評正好證實了他們比別人差。他們也很難因別人的贊美而高興，因為他們相信自己不值得稱贊。羞怯的人也許會用這樣的話來回答別人的贊美之辭：“你這么說只是為了讓我感覺好一些。我知道這不是真的。”顯然，盡管自我意識是一種健康的品質(zhì)，過分的自我意識卻是不利和有害的。能否徹底消除或者至少減輕羞怯感呢？幸運(yùn)的是，人們能夠通過堅持不懈的努力建立自信從而克服羞怯。由于膽怯和缺少自尊是密切相關(guān)的，因此正視自己的弱點(diǎn)和正視自己的優(yōu)點(diǎn)一樣重要。例如，大多數(shù)人希望每門功課都得A。如果僅僅因為在某些領(lǐng)域有困難，就把自己列為差生，這不恰如其分。人們對自己的期望必須現(xiàn)實。老是想那些不可能的事情會令自己覺得無能，甚至產(chǎn)生嫉妒。當(dāng)我們嫉妒比自己成績好的學(xué)生時，我們正在自我否定。如果你害羞，這里有些具體有效的步驟幫助你樹立信心并克服羞怯感：認(rèn)清自己的優(yōu)缺點(diǎn)。每個人既有優(yōu)點(diǎn)又有缺點(diǎn)。隨著對自我的不斷認(rèn)同，羞怯感就會自然減弱。確定合理的目標(biāo)。例如，在聚會時和一群陌生人在一起，你也許會怯場。不要以為你必須和每個人交談。集中精力，僅和一兩個人交談，你會感到更自在些。內(nèi)疚和羞恥感是消極的情感。不要把時間和精力浪費(fèi)在這上頭。假設(shè)你傷害了某人的感情，（光）感到羞愧是無濟(jì)于事的。相反，應(yīng)該承認(rèn)你犯了個錯誤，并決心在將來更加善解人意。所有問題都有許多種解決辦法。很少有完全正確或完全錯誤的意見。要敢于公開表達(dá)自己的觀點(diǎn)。不要對自己做消極的評論。這是一種自我否定。千萬別把自己描述為愚蠢的、丑陋的，或者一個失敗者。注重自己積極的方面。接受批評時要縝密思考。不要把批評理解為人身攻擊。例如，如果一位朋友抱怨你的烹飪技術(shù)，要把這當(dāng)成對你的烹飪技術(shù)而不是對你本人的評價而接受下來。放心，你們還是好朋友，但你的烹飪技術(shù)也許確實有待改進(jìn)。記住，每個人都會經(jīng)歷一些失敗和挫折。要把它們作為增長見識的經(jīng)歷，從中受益。挫折往往會成為轉(zhuǎn)機(jī)，隨之而來的將是一段美妙絕倫的經(jīng)歷。例如，你可能被你所中意的大學(xué)拒之門外。然而，在你就讀的大學(xué)里，你可能發(fā)現(xiàn)這里教育的某一特點(diǎn)比你料想的好得多。有些人會使你感到自己無能，不要和這種人交往。去設(shè)法改變他們對你的態(tài)度或者改變你對自己的態(tài)度，要不就脫離這種關(guān)系。傷害你的人并不關(guān)心你的最大利益。留出時間休息，享受自己的業(yè)余愛好，并且定期地重新審定自己的目標(biāo)。為此所花費(fèi)的時間有助于更好地了解你自己。多在社交場合中鍛煉。不要把自己同他人隔離開來。設(shè)法一次結(jié)識一位朋友；最終你將能夠嫻熟而自信地在眾人中周旋。我們每個人都是獨(dú)一無二、難能可貴的個體。我們自有吸引人的地方。我們對自己了解得越多，就越容易充分發(fā)揮自己的潛力。不要讓羞怯成為阻礙我們擁有豐富和成功生活的絆腳石。和 “describe. as”類似的詞組有: accept. as，interpret. as，regard. as，view. as，look on. as，consider. as，take. as，perceive. as，label. as。“as”后面可以接名詞、動名詞、形容詞。e.g. I) He did not accept this reply as valid. II) Would you describe yourself as being a hard worker? III) You should not interpret the silence as a refusal. IV) Many conservatives disapprove of the tax, regarding it as unfair. V) She is viewed as a strong candidate for the job. VI) We look on her as a daughter. VII) Do you consider him (as) a friend or a colleague? VIII) She took what he said as a compliment. IX) Stress is widely perceived as contributing to heart disease. X) If you spend any time in prison youre likely to be labelled as a criminal for the rest of your life.This passage has many self- words: self-assurance (自信心), self-esteem (自尊心), self-worth (自我價值), self-conscious (不自在的，不自然的), self-concept (自我概念), self-confident (自信的), self-awareness (自我了解), self-destructive (自毀的), self-acceptance (自我認(rèn)同), self-rejection (自暴自棄), etc.In the sentence Shy people are very sensitive to criticism., the word sensitive means easily upset or offended (敏感的); while in the sentence . make up your mind to be more sensitive in the future the word sensitive means able to understand other peoples feelings and problems(反應(yīng)靈敏的，易感受的).e.g. I) Hes sensitive (敏感的) about his bad teeth, so try not to look at them.II) If you are a public figure, you cant afford to be too sensitive (敏感的) to criticism.III) In general, he is a sensitive (反應(yīng)靈敏的) and intelligent young man. IV) It has made me much more sensitive (易感受的) to the needs of the pare: confirm, conform, affirm confirm: 證實，肯定，進(jìn)一步確定 e.g. I) New evidence has confirmed the first witness story. II) Her remarks confirmed me that she was a very gentle young lady.conform: 遵照，符合，一致。后面常跟“to”或“with”e.g. I) You must either conform to the rules or leave the school. II) This piece of equipment does not conform to the official safety standards.affirm: 斷言，聲明e.g. I) He affirmed to me that he was innocent.II) She affirmed that she was telling the pliment: 贊美的話，恭維的話e.g. I) She paid me a very charming compliment on my paintings.II) She accepted his compliments about her dress with a smile. 在表示“問候，祝?！钡纫鈺r，“compliment” 用復(fù)數(shù)“compliments”。 e.g. With the compliments of the season. 謹(jǐn)致節(jié)日的祝賀。（西方人在圣誕和新年時的賀詞。）The word while here means in spite of the fact that(盡管).e.g. I) While she is a likeable girl, she can be extremely difficult to work with.II) While there was no conclusive evidence, most people thought he was guilty. compare: eliminate, reduce, diminishEliminate means to remove or get rid of completely. Reduce means to make less in size, amount, price, degree, etc. Both eliminate and reduce are transitive verbs. They have to be followed by an object. Diminish is to (cause to) become less in size or importance. It can be used either as a transitive verb or an intransitive verb.e.g. I) We cant eliminate the use of paper but we can certainly reduce the amount of paper we waste.II) I d