[Positive-Psychology積極心理學課件ppt]Positive-Psychology-09-Relationships.ppt

Relationships,TheNeedforRelationships,Extremelyhappypeople(Dienerdonteliminatenegative,LoveBoosters,LoveisinthedetailsMiniloveboosters“60-secondpleasurepoints”(Fraenkl,2007)ExtraordinarybyfocusingonordinaryDemonstrateinterestShowaffection(touch,smile,flowers)Paycompliments,“Icanlivefortwomonthsonagoodcompliment.”MarkTwain,DemonstrateempathyMakelove,PositiveConflict,AffectiveratherthancognitiveconflictChallengingbehavior,notpersonP:“Youaresoinconsiderate”B:“Doyoumindputtingdownthetoiletseatwhenyouredone?”P:“Youaresuchaslob;youpromisedtothrowawaythegarbage;Icanttrustyou.”B:“Itupsetsmetoreturntoadirtyhome,afterweagreedthatyouwouldthrowawaythegarbage.”,PositiveConflict,AffectiveratherthancognitiveconflictChallengingbehavior,notpersonAvoidinghostility,insults,contemptKeepingdisputesprivateConflictingaycouples(Gottman,2001)Morepositive,usinghumorandaffectionNottakingnegativitypersonallyCalmdownandsootheoneanother,TheTitaniumRule,“Donotdountothoseclosetoyouwhatyouwouldnothavedoneuntoothers(whorenotsoclosetoyou).”,DeepFriendship,“Attheheartofmyprogramisthesimpletruththathappymarriagesarebasedonadeepfriendship.BythisImeanamutualrespectforandenjoymentofeachotherscompany.Thesecouplestendtoknoweachotherintimatelytheyarewellversedineachotherslikes,dislikes,personalityquirks,hopes,anddreams.Theyhaveanabidingregardforeachotherandexpressthisfondnessnotjustinthebigways,butinlittlewaysdayinanddayout.”JohnGottman,4.PositivePerception,Benefitfinding(appreciating)Positiveillusions(Murray,1997)Aself-fulfillingprophecy(benefitcreating),“Notonlydoesloveperceivepotentialitiesbutitalsoactualizesthem.”AbrahamMaslow,RefocusingonthePositive,WhatamIgratefulforinmypartner?Whatiswonderfulaboutourrelationship?,CommunicatingaboutPositiveEvents(Gableetal.,2006),Respondingtopositive-event-disclosuresActiveconstructiveresponding,CommunicatingaboutPositiveEvents(Gableetal.,2006),Respondingtopositive-event-disclosuresActiveconstructiverespondingWin-wineventsGenuinerespondingGeneratingupwardspirals(promotingpositive)Buildingpositivecapacity(dealingwithnegative),Bem,D.J.(1996).ExoticBecomesErotic:ADevelopmentalTheoryofSexualOrientation.PsychologicalReview,103(2),320-335)Branden,N.(1985).ThePsychologyofRomanticLove.BantamFraley,R.C.&Shaver,P.R.(2000).AdultRomanticAttachment:TheoreticalDevelopments,EmergingControversies,andUnansweredQuestions.ReviewofGeneralPsychology,4(2),132-154.Gottman,J.M.(2000).TheSevenPrinciplesforMakingMarriageWork:APracticalGuidefromtheCountrysForemostRelationshipExpert.ThreeRiversPress.Murray,S.L.,&Holmes,J.G.(1997).Aleapoffaith?Positiveillusionsinromanticrelationships.PersonalityandSocialPsychologyBulletin,23,586-604.Schnarch,D.(1998).PassionateMarriage:KeepingLoveandIntimacyAl