趙本山小品——不差錢_(英文版)

1、Got the Money Anyway（舞臺上是一個餐廳的背景，寫著：“蘇格蘭情調(diào)”。本山大叔穿著中山裝，身上背著一串蒜頭，手上拿著野雞，拉著毛毛上場。）(This short play is set in a restaurant named Scottish Taste / Feel. Uncle Zhao, in his customary Chinese tunic suit, enters, carrying a string of garlic on his back and a pheasant in hand, with his granddaughter Yadar in

2、tow.)趙本山：到了。Uncle Zhao Here we are.毛毛： 到了。Yadar Here we are.趙本山：這就是鐵嶺最貴的一家飯店。這不，蘇格蘭情調(diào)，今天就在這吃了Uncle Zhao Is this the most pricy eatin spot in Tieling: Scottish Taste / Fool.?we will eat here today.毛毛： 爺爺，這家老貴的啦。Yadar But its very expensive.趙本山：貴？咱帶錢了，帶三萬多塊，那包呢？Uncle Zhao So what? Weve got the money,

3、30,000 yuan. Wheres the bag?毛毛： 完了，讓我落炕上了.Yadar Oh no, I left it on the brick bed.趙本山：我說，你這孩子還能辦點事嗎？兜里還有錢嗎？Uncle Zhao So what can you do at all? Any money left on you?毛毛： 兜里，多少錢哪才？才70多塊錢。Yadar Let me see. (Fumbling) only 70-plus yuan.趙本山：我還有400。行，夠了。Uncle Zhao Heres 400 more.毛毛： 這也不能夠啊。Yadar Still n

4、ot enough.趙本山：哎呀，夠不夠就這樣了。服務(wù)員！Uncle Zhao No matter. Waiter! (Shenyang, the waiter, enters.)小沈陽：對不起大爺，我們這是高檔酒店，不收農(nóng)副產(chǎn)品。Shenyang Sorry, sir. Were of high class here. We dont take on stuff from street peddlers.趙本山：不是，我們是吃飯的。不像??？Uncle Zhao Were your customers. Dont we look like it?小沈陽：哎呀媽??？真的啊？不太像啊Shenyan

5、g Aiya!realy?Not quite.趙本山：我說姑娘啊，這頓飯非常重要。Uncle Zhao Were gonna have an important meal here, miss.小沈陽：媽呀，你管誰叫姑娘呢，人家是純爺們 Dont you call me a miss. Im a man - from the inside out.趙本山：咋這么個打扮，還穿個裙子呢。Uncle Zhao Then how cme you wearin a skirt?小沈陽：這是按我們蘇格蘭風(fēng)格來包裝的。再說也不是裙子啊，這不七分褲嗎。你看，是有腿的哦。媽呀，著急穿跑偏了。媽呀，我說走道咋沒有

6、襠呢。Shenyang Why, its mens wear in Scottish style. See, its no skirt but Capri pants. Look at this, look. Oh, damn it, I didnt get into one of the trousers in a hurry. No wonder I feel different while walking.趙本山：行了，小伙子我跟你說呀，今天我要請一位重要客人吃飯，你一定要招待好。Uncle Zhao Alright !I tell you, boy, were gonna have a

7、 damn important guest here in a minute. You should do you best.Shenyang No problem.趙本山：來來來，我問問你，你們這個酒店，如果要最貴的都點上，得多少錢？Uncle Zhao How much does a meal cost here if we order nothin but the best.小沈陽：得一、兩萬的。Shenyang About 10,000 to 20,000.趙本山：啊，那啥，有沒有這種情況，今兒個吃完了，明兒個來結(jié)賬？ Uncle Zhao Whut if smebody eats t

8、oday and pays tomorrow?小沈陽：打白條兒啊？Shenyang Youll give me an IOU?趙本山：不是啊，不是打白條，不差錢，有錢。喏。Uncle Zhao Not that. Ive got the money anyway. Take this.小沈陽：啥意思？Shenyang Whats it?趙本山：小費。ncle Zhao A tip for you.小沈陽：媽呀，大爺你真敞亮，你太帥了。Shenyang Oh,thank you, sir - you look cool!趙本山：我跟你說這不白給啊。一會兒客人到了，你一定要給足我面子，明白嗎？我到

9、點菜的時候，你得替我兜著點。Uncle Zhao Still, you aint get it for nothin. When my guest cmes, you put on a show with me. If I order expensive food, you should stop me doin so.小沈陽：咋兜呢？Shenyang Like how?趙本山：既把面子給了，但是呢又不能花得.太狠。我要點貴菜.Uncle Zhao Showin due respect for my guest, yes. Spendin too much on a meal, no. Whu

10、t if I ask for somethin dear?小沈陽：我就說沒有唄。Shenyang Ill say sorry, this we dont have.趙本山：哎呀媽呀，你太厲害了。來來來，拿點。再給你30，來。Uncle Zhao Youre smart. Cme, heres another 30 yuan.小沈陽：我跟你都明碼的哦。Shenyang Im not gonna cheat you when it comes to prices.趙本山：謝謝。Uncle Zhao Thank you, boy.小沈陽：放心吧。Shenyang Nothing much.毛毛： 爺

11、爺，我有點餓了。Yadar Grandpa, Im hungry.趙本山：餓了？來碗面條。Uncle Zhao How muchs a bowl of noodles?小沈陽：呃，78一碗。Shenyang 78 yuan.趙本山：啥面？這么貴。Uncle Zhao Whut noodles can be so expensive?小沈陽：蘇格蘭打鹵面。Shenyang Scottish sauced noodles.趙本山：是不是鹵子貴？Uncle Zhao Does the sauce cost much, too?小沈陽：鹵不要錢。Shenyang Its free.趙本山：那就來碗鹵子

12、，先嘗嘗咸淡?？烊?，快去。Uncle Zhao Get us a bowl of sauce, so we can see whether the tastes right. Quick.小沈陽：媽呀，沒這么上過呀。Shenyang Thats no way to serve a meal, sir.趙本山：那是我沒來，我要來，你早就這么上了。去吧去吧。Uncle Zhao You think so only becuse I didnt show up here before. Now its time to make sme change.小沈陽：這老爺子，我要說面條不要錢，要面條了你還。

13、Shenyang (to himself) Had I said the noodles are free, he wouldve asked for noodles. (Exits) 趙本山：來，站起來。跟你說，一會兒星光大道的畢老師來了，你一定要給我爭個臉，好不？這是人生最好的一次機會，知道嗎？爺爺培養(yǎng)了你，都已經(jīng)四十多年了。Uncle Zhao (to Yadar) Listen here, Yadar. When Mr. Bi from CCTVs Starlight Broadway cmes, you must show you best, OK? Its the best opp

14、ortnity for you own future. Grandpas been preparin you over the past 40-plus years.毛毛： 爺爺，我才多大。Yadar Grandpa, see how old I am now.趙本山：我還培養(yǎng)你爸三十多年呢。你爸那是個半成品，我都給培養(yǎng)成文化站站長了。你一定要超過他，有決心嗎？Uncle Zhao I prepared you daddy for 30 extra years. Though he aint good enough, hes the chief of the townships cultura

15、l center. So you really should outdo him. Can you make it or not?毛毛： 有。Yadar I can.小沈陽：哎，來了。Shenyang Heres the sauce for you.趙本山：來，先把這鹵子喝了，這孩子餓了。Uncle Zhao (to Yadar) Eat this, so you wont be too hungry.毛毛： 爺爺，有點咸了。Yadar Grandpa, its a bit salty.趙本山：沒事，給她整碗水去。Uncle Zhao (to Shenyang) Fetch her sme w

16、ater to drink.小沈陽：免費的水，不是？Shenyang You mean free water?趙本山：白開水就行。真夠摳的。 Uncle Zhao Just plain boiled water, you miser.（畢福劍上）(Bi Fujian, MC / anchorman of CCTVs Starlight Broadway program, enters.)小沈陽： 喲，你不是那誰嗎，你是那個.蒙住了。朱軍？！不是朱軍。白巖松？！不是。老畢.你是畢老師嗎？！Shenyang Why, arent you that one - Zhujun! Oh sorry. B

17、ai Yansong? Oh no. Or a Bi something! Are you Mr. Bi?畢福劍：我姓畢。CCTV Man Im Bi Fujian.小沈陽：哎呀我的媽呀，畢老師來了。你咋出來了呢？哎呀我的媽呀，快來人啊，畢老師，一會兒該跑了。Shenyang Come here everyone, its Mr. Bi here. (To CCTV Man) Why are you hanging out here, sir? Hurry up! Come here! He can go elsewhere at any minute.趙本山：干啥，吵吵巴火的，讓狼攆了咋的？

18、Uncle Zhao Whut the hells going on? Anythin to be so fussy abut? Youre being hounded by a wolf?小沈陽：畢老師.Shenyang Hes Mr. Bi.趙本山：我知道，這就是我要請的客人。Uncle Zhao I know, an hes the guest Im honored to keep compny today.小沈陽：哎呀我的媽呀，畢老師，你給我照個相唄！Shenyang Gosh, can I have a picture taken with you, Mr. Bi?趙本山: 你先等一

19、會兒。剛到是吧？Uncle Zhao (to Shenyang) Wait, wait. (To CCTV Man) Welcme, Mr. Bi.畢福劍：剛到，剛到。CCTV Man Nice to meet you.趙本山：我在這兒等半天了。Uncle Zhao Ive been waitin all this time for you.畢福劍：你好你好。請問您是.？CCTV Man Thanks a lot really. May I have your name please?趙本山：你找誰？Uncle Zhao Which man did you expect to see?畢福劍：

20、我找蓮花鄉(xiāng)文化站站長趙鐵柱。CCTV Man Im looking for Zhao Tiezhu, chief of Lotus Townships cultural center.趙本山：找對了，這就是趙鐵柱的爹，我是.Uncle Zhao You got it. Heres his daddy and Im.毛毛： 趙鐵柱是我爹。Yadar Zhao Tiezhu is my daddy.趙本山：我是趙鐵柱的爹。你不是找爹嗎？啊不，找就對了。Uncle Zhao An Im Tiezhus daddy. Arent you lookin for a dad. I mean its rig

21、ht to be looking my way.畢福劍：爹.不是，我找您兒子。CCTV Man Hi, daddy. I mean buddy. So wheres your son?趙本山：他在鄉(xiāng)里等你呢。Uncle Zhao He is waiting you in town畢福劍：咱去鄉(xiāng)里吧。CCTV Man Lets go there, then.趙本山：別介，鄉(xiāng)里布置我，說先擱鐵嶺吃一頓，完事上那兒。你看吧。 Uncle Zhao The center asked me to feast you here in town first. How abut that? 畢福劍：在這兒吃飯

22、？CCTV Man Why here?趙本山：這是鐵嶺最貴的，你來吧。Here weve got the best restaurant in Tieling. Do cme this way please.畢福劍：別別，大爺，不，老哥，我在飛機上吃了。 But Ive had my meal on the plane.趙本山：那客隨主便，好不好？給你怎么安排你就聽話，來來。Uncle Zhao Youre my guest, so please follow my arrangements.小沈陽：畢老師，你不給照個相嗎？畢老師。Shenyang A picture of the two o

23、f us, please.畢福劍：你是男服務(wù)員？CCTV Man (to Shenyang) Youre. a male waiter?小沈陽：嗯哪。Shenyang Yup.畢福劍：長得挺委婉的。CCTV Man You look awfully, awfully sweet, boy.趙本山：我剛開始來就誤會了，你說哪有這打扮，哎呀媽呀。坐，剛到是吧？Uncle Zhao I, too, took him to be a woman when I first came. How funny he is dressin up like this? Sit down here. Did you

24、 enjoy your trip?畢福劍：剛到，剛到。CCTV Man Yes, quite.趙本山：咱是老鄉(xiāng)。Uncle Zhao We mus be fellow townsmen.畢福劍：是嗎？CCTV Man Are we?趙本山：你不是大連人嗎？Uncle Zhao Aint you from Dalian?畢福劍：對對，大連人。CCTV Man Sure.趙本山：你住哪兒？Uncle Zhao Which part?畢福間 我住大連老鱉灣。CCTV Man Old Turtle Bend.趙本山：哎呀媽呀，有親戚，孩子她姥爺也在老鱉灣，也姓畢Uncle Zhao Where her

25、 mummys daddy used to live, too. So were even relatives趙本山： 這一笑，你看看，多像你姥爺臨走那張照片。Uncle Zhao ：(To Yadar) Look, he smiles like the last picture of you dead grandpa.毛毛： 爺爺，你快看，不笑更像。Yadar Look, even more like it when he doesnt.畢福劍：我今兒個躲不開了。CCTV Man So Im hopeless either way.趙本山：孩子這一輩子，跟爺爺不行，就跟姥爺親。姥爺臨走把她哭

26、完了。快認(rèn)姥爺。Uncle Zhao The girls much closer to her maternal grandpa than to me. Sort of cried her heart out when he died. Say hello to you new grandpa.毛毛： 姥爺好。Yadar (kneeling down / with a kowtow) How do you do, grandpa.畢福劍：別別別，起起.。大過年的，你要來這個，我得給你壓歲錢了。CCTV Man Dont, please. Its Spring Festvial now, and

27、 I shouldve given you some gift money.趙本山：不用，不用。哎呀，這家伙，來.Uncle Zhao Dont bother with that, sir. Youre indeed.小沈陽：畢老師，你給我照個相唄。Shenyang We havent had our picture taken, sir.趙本山：這沒吃飯呢，你先揣起來。點菜，快點。Uncle Zhao We havent ordered our dishes yet. Put this damn thing away. Well see whut to eat first. Cme.小沈陽：

28、照完再點唄。Shenyang Just one picture, please.趙本山：點完再照。Uncle Zhao Serve the meal first.小沈陽：要跑了呢？Shenyang What if he runs away after the meal?趙本山：誰跑?。慨吚蠋煻嫉驼{(diào)來的，你別跟人這樣說。她姥爺，這都實在親戚，你就點吧。Uncle Zhao Who will? Mr. Bis a modest man, coming all his way from Beijin to give us folks a chance. Dont you say a thing li

29、ke that. (To CCTV Man) Im whut they call a country pumpkin, my dear in-law, not really knowin how to treat a guest. So you please order the dishes.畢福劍： 不不不，咱隨便吃點飯就可以了。您來，您來。CCTV Man Dont be too polite. You do it.趙本山： 現(xiàn)在咱家都富了。你就鉚勁兒吃，你說吃能吃多少錢哪。我點。Uncle Zhao Now we peasants have got rich, much better o

30、ff than before. Eat as much as you want, it aint gonna be a big deal anyway. Please give me the menu.畢福劍：隨便來。CCTV Man Dont be extravagant, buddy.趙本山：澳洲鮑魚四只。Uncle Zhao Australian abalones, four.小沈陽：對不起，沒有。Shenyang Sorry, theyre out of stock.畢福劍：算了，別點那么貴的。你往下來。CCTV Man Too expensive anyway. Lets move

31、on down.趙本山：四斤的龍蝦。Uncle Zhao Lobsters of 2 kilos each.小沈陽：對不起，沒那么大的。Shenyang Sorry, nothing that big. 趙本山：有多大的？Uncle Zhao Whut kind do you have?小沈陽：有一斤多的。Shenyang Half a kilo each.趙本山：一斤多的.有嗎？Uncle Zhao Somethin you really have?趙本山：有.還是沒有啊？Shenyang Yes we do. or no?趙本山：這個.我跟你說，有沒有，這是你開的店呢，你還不明白？這不差錢

32、。Cme on, boy, its you take care of things here. Dont you know whut youve got an whut not? 小沈陽：哦.那沒有。Shenyang So no, we havent got lobsters.趙本山： 你這酒店怎么要啥啥沒有呢？干啥玩意兒？這畢老師容易來一趟？把你老板找來Uncle Zhao This restaurants got nothin to serve. Youve wasted you chance to make customers happy. A disgrace to my greate

33、st guest Mr. Bi. Wheres you boss? Get him here.小沈陽：沒有。Shenyang No boss, sir.趙本山：你就記住一個沒有了，是不？老板。Uncle Zhao Run out of a boss as well?小沈陽：啊，老板哪？老板出去了。Shenyang Well. the boss is out.趙本山：上哪兒去了？Uncle Zhao Wheres he?小沈陽：不知道。Shenyang No idea.趙本山：啥玩意兒呀你？你說吃啥呀？Uncle Zhao Whut the hell shall we have to eat,

34、then?畢福劍：來點兒家常便飯。民間的。CCTV Man Just something homely.趙本山：民間的是吧？來民間的吧，孩子，來個小野雞燉蘑菇。Uncle Zhao All right, homely fare then. A lovely little pheasant boiled with mushrooms.小沈陽：沒有。Shenyang Im sorry, sir.趙本山：這個可以有。Uncle Zhao Thats whut you can have.小沈陽：這個.真沒有。 Shenyang Something we really dont have.趙本山：我給你

35、帶來了啊，咱有。來，丫蛋，把這拿來。哎呀，多虧帶來了。Uncle Zhao All right, serve the one we brought. Get it here, Yadar. Lucky we didnt cme with empty hands.畢福劍：老哥. CCTV Man No, buddy.趙本山：我是給你往北京帶的，現(xiàn)在你拿不走了，趕緊得在這兒吃了。Uncle Zhao I thought you could take it back to Beijin. As you cant, we might as well finish it up here an now.畢

36、福劍 野山雞不能吃。CCTV Man Pheasants are forbidden for consumption.趙本山：這是家養(yǎng)的。都是野蘑菇。把這個燉了，高壓鍋啊，時間長點，來。好了，這兒有一個菜了。再點個笨雞蛋。Uncle Zhao This ones grown at home. Cook the wild mushrooms, too, in a high-pressure cooker till theyre throughly done. So far weve got one dish ready. plus a dumb egg.小沈陽：沒有。Shenyang We do

37、nt have any, sir!趙本山：我有。這樣. Uncle Zhao I do. All right.畢福劍：老哥. CCTV Man Buddy.趙本山：這雞蛋和大蔥一炒。Uncle Zhao Stir-fry the eggs with the green onions.畢福劍：你怎么下一趟飯店，材料都自己備？CCTV Man Why bother yourself with every ingredient when coming to a restaurant?趙本山：不是，他沒有啊，問題是。給他錢都沒處找去。幾個菜了？倆了，這樣吧，給你們點機會。畢老師來一回，你們飯店表示不？

38、Uncle Zhao Theyve got no stuff like this here. Not even if youre willin to pay. See, weve got two dishes in all an thats fine! (To Shenyang) Now Im givin you a chance to show youre truly hospitable, with Mr. Bi here.小沈陽： 贈送一個唄。哎呀媽呀，大爺你咋這么摳呢？你說你一個沒點，完了我們還得搭一個，啊？Shenyang Well serve one dish for free.

39、Youre too mean, sir, getting us to compliment you with one dish without ordering any yourself!趙本山：我說小伙子，咱們不是一個沒點。我點完之后，鮑魚、龍蝦你都沒有。Uncle Zhao I did place my order, boy. But whut did you have, abalones or lobsters?小沈陽：有沒有，你心里還沒數(shù)嗎？Shenyang Is it up to me to say yes?趙本山：我有啥數(shù)，你不是說沒有嗎？Uncle Zhao Is it up t

40、o me, then? How ridiculous!小沈陽： 別說話了。一說萬一要有，咋整??？Shenyang Cut it out, sir. If I say yes, who knows whatll happen next?趙本山： 你到底有沒有？這差錢還是咋的？ Uncle Zhao Have you got the things or not? Not that I aint get the money. 小沈陽：我知道大爺不差錢。我的意思，畢老師好容易來一回，咱吃喝不能在乎錢，大爺。你看我今年歲數(shù)小，但是我總結(jié)了，人這一生其實可短暫了，有時候一想，跟睡覺是一樣一樣的。眼睛一閉，

41、一睜，一天過去了；眼睛一閉，不睜，這輩子就過去了。Shenyang This I know, sir, but with Mr. Bi here, perhaps only for once, cant you stop being so stingy? I am still young, but I see life can be so very short, it sometimes is much the same as taking a sleep. Eyes closed, eyes opened, and a whole day is over. Eyes closed but n

42、ever opened again - then your whole life is over.畢福劍：小伙子，精辟。CCTV Man Thats wit! / What a master of wit!小沈陽：我意思人不能把錢看得太重了。錢乃身外之物。人生最痛苦的事情，你知道是什么？Shenyang One shouldnt set too much stock on money. What good can it do, really? The most scary part of it all, sir, is to die leaving your money unused.趙本山：

43、嗯？小沈陽：人死了，錢沒花了。趙本山：人這一生最最痛苦的事，你知道是什么嗎？Uncle Zhao Whuts more scary.小沈陽：啥呀？趙本山：是人活著呢，錢沒了。不差錢，放心吧，啊。把菜好好做上。Uncle Zhao is to be left living with you money gone. Dont worry, boy. If you play your part well, Ill pay you well.小沈陽：哎，好嘞。Shenyang Do as you please.趙本山：這孩子。Uncle Zhao Go ahead.小沈陽：這一天.這也太摳了。Shen

44、yang (to himself) What a day. just too stingy.趙本山：他姥爺，這菜呢，得做一會兒。你看看丫蛋來了，這孩子從小就是一身的藝術(shù)哪。Uncle Zhao (to CCTV Man) Preparin the dishes would take sme time, sir. Heres Yadar, my granddaughter. They all call her Yadar. She started showin promise to be artritis when very young.畢福劍：她. CCTV Man Can she.趙本山：才

45、藝，那是了不得。Uncle Zhao Please test her to see whether shes good enough for you Broadway.畢福劍：老哥，我弄明白了，你今天截我到這兒來，就是為了讓您孫女上我們星光大道。CCTV Man Now I see. You got me stuck here so your granddaughter can get into my program.趙本山：可不是嘛，它有這么個關(guān)系。Uncle Zhao Oh yeah, thats it.畢福劍：哦，那她都.會點什么？CCTV Man What exactly can sh

46、e do?趙本山：來吧，給姥爺表示表示。 Uncle Zhao Yadar, show Grandpa Bi whut you can do. 畢福劍：那就這樣吧，照我們的規(guī)矩來。來，自報家門。CCTV Man According to our rules. you shall introduce yourself first.趙本山：瞅前邊就行了，別緊張。就擱哪兒來的。說。Uncle Zhao Look right ahead, honey. Start from the beginnin. Dont be nervous.毛毛： 我是來自大城市鐵嶺蓮花池水溝子的，我名字叫丫蛋。我唱一首青藏

47、高原Yadar Im from the Lotus Pond Valley of the big Tieling City. My names Yadar. Sing The Qinghai-Tibetan / 毛毛： 是誰帶來遠(yuǎn)古的呼喚？Ah, who brings here the earnest call of remote antiquity? 是誰留下千年的期盼. Ah, who leaves behind the expectations of the millennium? 趙本山：中間的不用唱了，最后那個。哦喲啦，那個Skip the middle part and move

48、on to the final climax. Yo-la-la. 毛毛： .那就是青藏高原。 .Thats Qinghai-Tibetan畢福劍：年齡不大，嗓門真高。CCTV Man What a high pitch youve got for your age.畢福劍：不說了，不說了。才藝很不錯，唱得很不錯。(to Uncle Zhao) Be patient, buddy. (To Yadar) Remarkable talent and truly impressive delivery.小沈陽：哎呀媽啊，就這還不錯呢？如果這就叫不錯，那我也可以Shenyang Do you cal

49、l that remarkable? If she can go there, so can I.趙本山：往哪上啊你！快上菜去。Uncle Zhao Where to?小沈陽：我上星光大道唄。henyang To the Starlight Broadway.趙本山：上啥大道？你上炕都費勁。SUncle Zhao Creep way back to you stinkin brick bed!小沈陽：畢老師好不容易來一回，讓我展示一下，我也會唱。Shenyang Since Mr. Bis here, please give me a chance to try. I can sing, to

50、o.趙本山：哪有時間聽。知道嗎？這都藝術(shù)圈的事，你一個服務(wù)員，唱啥唱?。縐ncle Zhao Whos got the time to listen? Whuts more, whut do you know about matters of art? A waiters a waiter, after all.小沈陽：你讓我唱一個唄。Shenyang Let me sing.趙本山：不讓你唱。Uncle Zhao Nope小沈陽：不讓我唱，我就不給你上菜。Shenyang If you dont let me sing, I wont serve you the meal.趙本山：你不給我上

51、菜，我找你老板去。Uncle Zhao If you dont serve me the meal, Ill get you boss here.趙本山：你找我老板，我把你交代我的事說出來。Shenyang If you get my boss here, Ill speak to him about whats up your sleeves.趙本山：你要說.他指定比唱的好Uncle Zhao If you speak. I know you speak better than you sing.畢福劍：你還是說，還是自報家門。CCTV Man (to Shenyang) Well, say

52、 something about yourself first.小沈陽：其實，畢老師，我的命運(敏感詞語)跟她是一樣的，我也有一個姓畢的姥爺。Shenyang I share a similar fate with her, with a grandpa by the same family name of Bi.趙本山：你拉倒吧，用不著，別套了，你該唱唱你的。你鬧心不鬧心！Uncle Zhao Whuts wrong with you, tryin to curry favor like this? Sing your stupid song, or go an suck you mom.畢

53、福劍：好了，不打斷，不打斷。小伙子，你會點什么呢？CCTV Man Please dont interrupt him. Whatre you good at, young man?小沈陽：我會模仿秀。Shenyang I can do a mock show.畢福劍：模仿誰？CCTV Man Whom can you mock?小沈陽：模仿劉歡老師。Shenyang Mr. Liu Huan.畢福劍：劉歡老師那一出？CCTV Man Which song of his?小沈陽：我和你。Shenyang You and Me. 小沈陽：我給畢老師唱一個。嗯哼哼哼。Shenyang Now Il

54、l try. Mm-hum-hum. (Starts to sing) 我和你，心連心，You and me, from one world,同住地球.。We are family. 哎呀媽呀，我把唱詞給忘了好像。Did I lose my words? What a shame!趙本山：拉倒吧，你唱跑偏了，你這褲子就穿跑偏了，你就是個跑偏的人。Uncle Zhao Youve lost you tune. Say, whut mock show is this? Its more like a monkey show. Look at that empty trouser.小沈陽：激動啦。S

55、henyang Just too excited.趙本山：你上菜去吧。Uncle Zhao Go get the food.小沈陽：我再重唱一個吧。畢老師，我再重唱一個行嗎？Shenyang Can I try another song? Oh please, Mr. Bi.趙本山：唱啥？Uncle Zhao Which one?小沈陽：我唱個刀郎的吧。刀郎的聲音是滄桑的感覺。The song by Daolang Daolangs voice is bleak and desolate. 2002年的第一場雪，The first snow of 2002比以往時候來得更晚些. falls somewhat later than usual. 畢福劍：你再來一個。你還會唱誰的？CCTV Man Encore! Any other song at your beck and call?小沈陽：我還會唱星光大道走出的那個阿寶。Shenyang I can also