美國(guó)文學(xué)史漢譯22

第五章

美國(guó)文學(xué)史漢譯第一節(jié)第二節(jié)第三節(jié)第四節(jié)第一節(jié)61-65Original61:ThefirstAmericanliteraturewasneitherAmericannorreallyliterature.ItwasnotAmericanbecauseitwastheworkmainlyofimmigrantsfromEngland.Itwasnotliteratureasweknowit—intheformofpoetry,essays,orfiction—butratheraninterestingmixtureoftravelaccountsandreligiouswritings.1)Analysisoftheoriginal:A)GrammaticalanalysisB)StylisticanalysisA）Grammaticalanalysis:(1)Sentencestructure(2)Additionalcomplication(3)Notes(1)Sentencestructure：Theselectionconsistsofthreesentences,ofwhichthefirstisasimplesentencewhilethetwoothersarecomplexsentences.Thesecondsentenceiscomposedofamainclauseandanadverbialclauseofreasonwhilethethirdsentenceiscomposedofamainclauseandanattributiveclause.(2)Additionalcomplication:

Inthelastsentence,thereisaparenthesisbetweenthetwodashes.(3)Notes：

Thepartbeforebutinthelastsentencecouldbeunderstoodassomethinglikethis:Itwasnotliterature,inthewayweknowthatliteratureisoftenintheformofpoetry,essays,orfiction.B)Stylisticanalysis:(1)Periodicity(2)Structuralcomplication(3)Parallelstructure(4)Cohesivedevice(5)Structuralandlexicalformality(1)Periodicity：Thefirsttwoareloosesentencesandthelastisperiodicinthatthepartbetweenthetwodashesservesasaparenthesis.(2)Structuralcomplication：

Theselectionisnotverycomplicatedstructurallythoughthelastsentenceislongerthantheothertwoandsentencepatternsvaryonefromanother.(3)Parallelstructure:

Intheselection,parallelstructuresarefoundasfollows:neitherAmericannorreallyliterature;ItwasnotAmericanbecauseitwastheworkmainlyofimmigrantsfromEngland,itwasnotliteratureasweknowit…;

poetry,essays,orfiction;andtravelaccountsandreligiouswritings.(4)Cohesivedevice：Intermsofcohesivedevice,examplescouldbefoundasfollows:parallelstructuresareused;literatureandAmericanarerepeated;travelaccountsandreligiouswritingsaresemanticallyrelated,andsoon.(4)Structuralandlexicalformality：Structurally,theselectionisformalinthatthesentencesitiscomposedofaregrammaticallycompleteandfreefromcolloquialstructures.Lexically,formalwords,includingnominalizations,arefrequentlyused,forexample,literature,immigrant,mixture,account,religious,andmanyothers.2)Stagedtranslation:A)Translation1withcommentsB)Translation2withcommentsC)Translation3withcommentsA)Translation1:

最初的美國(guó)文學(xué)既不是美國(guó)的，也不是真正的文學(xué)。它不是美國(guó)文學(xué)是因?yàn)樗饕菑挠⒏裉m來(lái)的移民的作品。它不是文學(xué)是因?yàn)檎缥覀冎赖摹皇且栽?shī)歌、散文或小說(shuō)的形式出現(xiàn)的—而是些頗有情趣的旅行記載和宗教作品。Comments:

Thisisbasicallyaword-for-wordtranslation,thoughminoradaptationscouldbefoundoccasionally.Thetranslationisacceptable,readableandevenauthentictotheChineseear.Butthisdoesnotnecessarilymeanthatimprovementscannotbemadeonit.B)Translation2:最初的美國(guó)文學(xué)既不是美國(guó)的，也不是真正的文學(xué)。不是美國(guó)的，是因?yàn)樗饕怯⒏裉m移民的作品；不是文學(xué)，是因?yàn)槲覀冎赖奈膶W(xué)的形式多為詩(shī)歌、散文或小說(shuō)，而這些作品都是些頗有情趣的旅行記和宗教作品。Comments:Comparedwiththeprevious,intra-andinter-sententialrearrangementsaremade,clausesarecutshortandcoherenceisenhanced.Consequently,readabilityandauthenticityareimprovedC)Translation3:最初，美國(guó)文學(xué)既不屬于美國(guó)，也不是文學(xué)。作品大多出自從英格蘭來(lái)的移民的筆端，不是我們所熟知的詩(shī)歌、散文或小說(shuō)，而是些饒有情趣的旅行記和宗教作品。Comments:Inthepresenttranslation,suchexpressionsasitwasnotAmericanbecause,itwasnotliteratureas,togetherwiththedashes,havedisappearedwithideasgreatlycontracted.Tosome,suchatranslationmaynotbelegitimatebuttoothersitmaybequiteacceptable.Original62:TheearliestcolonialtravelaccountsarerecordsoftheperilsandfrustrationsthatchallengedthecourageofAmerica’sfirstsettlers.WilliamBradford’sHistoryofPlimmothPlantationdescribesthecoldgreetingswhichthepassengersontheshipMayflowerreceivedwhentheylandedonthecoastofAmericain1620:Original62(continued):Beingthusarrivedinagoodharbor,andbroughtsafetoland,theyfellupontheirkneesandBlessedtheGodofHeavenwhohadbroughtthemoverthevastandfuriousocean,anddeliveredthemfromtheperilsandmiseriesthereof,againtosettheirfeetonthefirmandstableearth,theirproperelement...ButhereIcannotstandhalfamazedatthispoorpeople’spresentcondition;andsoIthinkwillthereadertoo,whenhewellconsidersthesame.Beingthuspassedthevastocean,…theyhadnofriendstowelcomethemnorinnstoentertainorrefreshtheirweatherbeatenbodies;norhousesormuchlesstownstorepairto,toseekforsuccour.1)Analysisoftheoriginal:A)GrammaticalanalysisB)StylisticanalysisA）Grammaticalanalysis:(1)Sentencestructure(2)Additionalcomplication(3)Notes(4)Paraphrase(1)Sentencestructure：Theselectionconsistsofanarrativeparagraphandaquotation.Thenarrativeparagraphconsistsoftwosentences,ofwhichthefirstisacomplexsentence,composedofamainclauseandanattributiveclause.Thesecondisalsoacomplexsentence,composedofamainclauseandanattributiveclause,inwhichthereisanadverbialclauseoftimeembedded.(2)Additionalcomplication：Thequotationconsistsoftwoparagraphs,ofwhichthefirstparagraphiscomposedofasinglecomplexsentence,whichiscomposedofamainclauseandanattributiveclause.Thesecondparagraphconsistsoftwosentences,ofwhichthefirstisacomplexsentence,composedofamainclause,whichinturnconsistsoftwocoordinateclauses,andanadverbialclauseoftime;andthesecondisasimplesentence.(3)Notes：Inthefirstparagraphofthequotation,thesentencebeginswithaparticiplephrasebeingthusarrived…,whichmeanshavingthusarrived,andatendoftheparagraph,theirproperelementmeanstheproperelementoftheimmigrants,referringtotheearthorsoil.(4)Paraphrase：Thefirstsentenceinthesecondparagraphofthequotationbeginswithaconjunctionandanadverb,andthelastsentenceintheparagraphbeginswithaparticiplephrase,andthewholesentencecanberestructured,andparaphrasedtosomeextent,inthefollowingmanner:havingthuspassedthevastocean,……theyhadnofriendstowelcomethem,norinnstoentertainthemortorefreshtheirweatherbeatenbodies;nordidtheyhavehousesormuchlesstownstorepairtoortoseekforsuccour.B)Stylisticanalysis:(1)Periodicity(2)Structuralcomplication(3)Parallelstructure(4)Cohesivedevice(5)Structuralandlexicalformality(1)Periodicity：Inthenarrativetext,thetwosentencesarelooseinstructure.Inthequotation,thethreesentencesareperiodicinthatthefirstsentencebeginswithaparticiplephrase;thesecondbeginswithaconjunctionandanadverb;andthethirdalsobeginswithaparticiplephrase.(2)Structuralcomplication：Thestructuresarecomplicatedtosomeextent,forthereisonlyonesimplesentencebutwithconfusingcoordinatestructures.(3)Parallelstructure：

Parallelstructuresarefrequentlyused,forexample,perilsandfrustrations;beingthusarrivedinagoodharbor,andbroughtsafetoland;broughtthemoverthevastandfuriousocean,anddeliveredthem…;perilsandmiseries;firmandstable;nofriendstowelcomethemnorinnstoentertain…;entertainorrefresh;norhousesormuchlesstowns;andtorepairto,toseekforsuccour.(4)Cohesivedevice：Intermsofcohesivedevice,examplescouldbefoundasfollows:parallelstructuresarefrequentlyused;thepronountheyisrepeatedlyusedtorefertoAmerica’sfirstsettlersorthepassengers;thephrasethepassengersisalsousedtorefertoAmerica’sfirstsettlers;thepronounIisrepeatedlyusedtorefertoWilliamBradford;andsoon.(5)Structuralandlexicalformality：Structurally,theselectionisformalinthatthesentencesitiscomposedofaregrammaticallycompleteandfreefromcolloquialstructures.Lexically,formalwords,includingnominalizations,arefrequentlyused,forexample,colonial,account,record,peril,frustration,challenge,courage,settle,plantation,describe,passenger,receive,arrive,deliver,andsoon.Inaddition,thestructureandvocabularyofthequotationsoundalittlearchaic.2)Stagedtranslation:A)Translation1withcommentsB)Translation2withcommentsC)Translation3withcommentsA)Translation1:最早的殖民者旅行記是災(zāi)難和沮喪的記錄，這些災(zāi)難和沮喪挑戰(zhàn)了首批美洲移民的勇氣。《威廉.布雷福德的普利茅斯種植園的歷史》描寫了五月花船上的乘客所受到的冷遇，當(dāng)他們于1620年登上美洲海岸的時(shí)候：

就這樣到達(dá)了一個(gè)良好的港口，被安全地帶到了陸地，他們跪下了，天帝保佑他們，帶領(lǐng)他們穿過(guò)遼闊憤怒的海洋，將他們從災(zāi)難和痛苦那里帶出來(lái)，又踏上了堅(jiān)實(shí)穩(wěn)固的土地，他們的合適的元素……但是在這兒，我站在那兒，看到那些可憐的人們眼前的狀況，驚呆了。因此我想，讀者也會(huì)這樣想，當(dāng)他也這樣認(rèn)為時(shí)。就這樣穿過(guò)了遼闊的海洋，……沒有朋友迎接他們，也沒有旅店招待他們，使他們飽經(jīng)風(fēng)霜的身體恢復(fù)疲勞；沒有房屋，更沒有城市供他們休息，來(lái)解決困難。Comments:Generallyspeaking,thetranslationfollowstheoriginalstrictly,thoughwithlocalreadjustmentsmadehereandthere.Forexample,inthesecondclauseofthefirstsentence,這些災(zāi)難和沮喪isrepeated;notinthesecondlineofthesecondparagraphofthequotationisdulyshiftedinthetranslation,andothers.However,thereadabilityandauthenticitycouldbefurtherenhanced.B)Translation2:

最早的殖民旅行記記錄了挑戰(zhàn)首批美國(guó)移民勇氣的災(zāi)難與挫折。《威廉.布拉德福特的普利茅斯種植園的歷史》描繪了他們乘坐五月之花號(hào)海輪于1620年到達(dá)美洲海岸時(shí)所遇到的冷遇：

于是他們到達(dá)了一個(gè)良好的港口，安全地登上了海岸，匍匐在地，感謝上帝帶領(lǐng)他們跨過(guò)一望無(wú)垠的狂怒的大海，帶領(lǐng)他們逃離了危險(xiǎn)與悲苦，再次踏上堅(jiān)實(shí)而沉穩(wěn)的大地，踏上了適宜于他們的環(huán)境……這兒的人一貧如洗，環(huán)境極為艱苦，站在這兒，我感到十分驚訝。我想，讀者如想到眼前的境況，也會(huì)驚嘆不已。他們?nèi)绱似D難的跨越了遼闊的海洋，……既沒有朋友迎接他們，也沒有旅館招待他們，飽經(jīng)風(fēng)霜，疲敝不堪，沒有任何東西能使他們逐困解乏；沒有房子，更沒有城市供他們落腳，沒有人可以求助。Comments:Comparedwiththeprevious,thistranslationhascontractedthefirsttwoclausesintoasinglesentenceandrearrangedthenextsentencesothatitsoundsmoreauthentic.Similarly,thequotationisreorganizedanditnowsoundsmorecoherent.C)Translation3:首批移民旅行記記錄了移民們來(lái)到美洲時(shí)遇到的災(zāi)難、經(jīng)歷的沮喪、經(jīng)受的挑戰(zhàn)?！锻?布雷福德的普利茅斯種植園的歷史》描繪了他們乘坐五月之花號(hào)海輪于1620年抵達(dá)美洲海岸時(shí)受到的種種冷遇：

就這樣受盡了折磨，終于抵達(dá)了盼望已久的港口，安全地登陸了。他們匍匐在地，感謝上蒼保佑他們穿越了波濤洶涌的遼闊海洋，將他們從死亡和災(zāi)難中拯救出來(lái)，使他們踏實(shí)地踏上了堅(jiān)固的土地，他們的適宜之所……我站在這兒，看著眼前這群可憐的人，不禁瞠目結(jié)舌。我想，當(dāng)讀者看到這兒也會(huì)有同感。他們就這樣穿越了洶涌澎湃的遼闊海洋，……沒有親朋好友來(lái)迎接，沒有店鋪來(lái)招待，飽經(jīng)風(fēng)霜的軀體無(wú)法恢復(fù)疲勞，沒有房屋供他們休息，沒有城市供他們游逛，供他們采購(gòu)生活必需品，供他們消愁解悶。Comments:Apparently,thefirstsentenceisreorganizedandsoisthequotation,especiallythelastpartofit.AndthereorganizationisexecutedtosuchadrasticextentthatthepartsconcernedhavedeviatedfromtheoriginaltosomeextenttocaterforChinesenorms.Consequently,thetranslationsoundslikeapieceofrewritingintermsofreadability,coherenceandauthenticity,althoughtheideasintheoriginalcouldbeeasilyidentified.Original63:

IftheAmericanwildernessdidnotprovideaheartywelcomeforthecolonists,itneverthelessofferedwealthofnaturalresources.“Heisabadfisher[who]cannotkillinonedaywithhishookeandline,one,two,orthreehundredCods”isaclaimmadebyCaptainJohnSmithinADescriptionofNewEngland

(1616).“AsupofNewEngland’sairisbetterthanawholedraftofoldEngland’sale”isatestimonialgivenbyFrancisHigginsoninhisNew-England’sPlantation(1630).Higginsonadds:Original63(continued):

Besides,Ihaveoneofmychildrenthatwasformerlymostlamentablyhandledwithsorebreakingoutofbothhishandsandfeetoftheking’sevil,butsincehecamehitherheisverywellover[what]hewas,andthereishopeofperfectrecoveryshortly,evenbytheverywholesomenessoftheair.PoorHigginsondidnotfareaswellashisson;hediedthesameyearthe

New-England’sPlantation

waspublished.1)Analysisoftheoriginal:A)GrammaticalanalysisB)StylisticanalysisA）Grammaticalanalysis:(1)Sentencestructure(2)Additionalcomplication(1)Sentencestructure：Theselectionconsistsoftwonarrativeparagraphsandaquotation,ofwhichthefirstnarrativeparagraphconsistsofasentenceandtwointer-textualquotationswiththeirnarrativeclauses,andareportingclausefortheextra-textualquotation.Inthefirstnarrativeparagraph,thesentenceiscomplexinstructure,consistingofanadverbialclauseofconditionandamainclause.Thefirstinter-textualquotationtogetherwiththenarrativetextcanberegardedasacomplexsentence,consistingofamainclauseandanominalclauseservingasthesubjectofthesentence,whichinturncontainsanattributiveclause.Thesecondinter-textualquotationtogetherwiththenarrativetextcanalsoberegardedasacomplexsentence,composedofamainclauseandanominalclauseservingasthesubject.Sentencestructure(continued)：Thequotationiscomplexcompoundinstructureinthatitconsistsofamainclauseandanobjectclause,whichinturnconsistsoftwocoordinateclauses,ofwhichthesecondinturniscomposedtwocoordinateclauses,withthefirsthavinganattributiveclauseembedded.

Thesecondnarrativeparagraphconsistsofacompoundsentence,composedoftwocoordinateclauses,looselyconnected.(2)Additionalcomplication：Inthefirstnarrativeparagraph,thesentencebeginswithanadverbialclause;inthenarrativepartofthefirstinter-textualquotation,thereisaparenthesisembeddedinthebracketsandsoisaparenthesisembeddedinthenarrativepartofthesecondinter-textualquotation;andthequotationbeginswithanadverb.(3)Paraphrase：Intheselection,thefirstinter-textualquotationtogetherwiththenarrativetextcanbeparaphrasedlikethis:InADescriptionofNewEngland(1616),CaptainJohnSmithclaimsthatthemanisabadfisherifhecannotgetinonedaywithhookandlineone,twoorthreehundredcods.Andthesentencethatfollowscanbeunderstoodinthesamemanner.Inaddition,thequotationmaybeparaphrasedinthefollowingmanner:Besides,Ihaveachild,whosufferedfromtheking’sevil.Whenhemoved,bothofhishandsandfeetwouldgivegreatpains.Butsincehecamehere,hedoesnotfeelanypainatall.Anditishopedthathewillrecovercompletelythankstothewholesomefreshair.B)Stylisticanalysis:(1)Overallstylisticfeatures(2)Periodicity(3)Structuralcomplication(4)Parallelstructure(5)Cohesivedevice(6)Structuralandlexicalformality(1)Overallstylisticfeatures:Inthepresentselection,therearetwonarrativetextsandanextra-textualquotation,andinthefirstnarrativetext,therearetwointer-textualquotations.Inthissense,wecansaythattheselectionischaracterizedbyquotations.(1)Periodicity：Inthefirstnarrativetext,thefirstsentenceisperiodicforitbeginswithaconditionalclause,andthesecondandthethirdbothbeginwithquotations,whichareactuallyclauseswithorwithoutfurthersubordination.Andinthissense,theycanbothberegardedasperiodicsentences.(2)Structuralcomplication：Thestructureoftheextra-textualquotationisrathercomplicatedwithsubordinateandcoordinatestructuresincluded,althoughthestructureofthesecondnarrativetextisnotassuch.Inthissense,wecansaythattheselectionisstructurallycomplicated,thoughnotverycomplicatedthroughout.(3)Parallelstructure：Parallelstructuresarenotpopularlyusedthoughthereexistsomeoccasionalcases.(4)Cohesivedevice：Intermsofcohesivedevice,examplescouldbefoundasfollows:parallelstructuresareoccasionallyused;allthewordings,includingthoseintheextra-textualquotation,areusedaroundthecontrastbetweentheAmericanwildernessandthewealthofnaturalresources;itinthefirstsentenceisusedtorefertotheAmericanwilderness;hisinfifthlineisusedtorefertoFrancisHigginson;Higginsonisrepeated;IandmyinthequotationarealsousedtorefertoHigginson;andsoon.(5)Structuralandlexicalformality：Structurally,theselectionisformalinthatthesentencesitiscomposedofaregrammaticallycompleteandfreefromcolloquialstructures.Lexically,formalwords,includingnominalizations,arefrequentlyused,forexample,wilderness,welcome,colonist,nevertheless,offer,wealth,natural,resources,description,testimonial,lamentably,andothers.2)Stagedtranslation:A)Translation1withcommentsB)Translation2withcommentsC)Translation3withcommentsA)Translation1:如果說(shuō)美洲的荒蕪沒有給殖民者提供衷心的歡迎的話，卻提供了豐富的自然資源?！叭绻谝惶熘畠?nèi)用釣鉤和釣絲釣不到一百、二百或三百尾鱈魚，他就是一個(gè)壞釣者，”這是約翰.史密斯船長(zhǎng)在《新英格蘭的描寫》（1616）中所作的聲言。“吸一口新英格蘭空氣，比整整一股老英格蘭的酒還要好”是弗朗西斯.西根森在他的《新英格蘭種植園》（1630）中所提供的證明。西根森還說(shuō)：

另外，我的孩子中有一個(gè)，由于淋巴結(jié)核，從前兩只手和兩只腳都不能動(dòng)，一動(dòng)就疼痛難忍。從他來(lái)到這兒之后，過(guò)去的毛病沒有了，借助這么好的空氣，甚至還有希望全愈?？蓱z的西根森沒有他的兒子那么好，他死于《新英格蘭種植園》出版的同一年。Comments:Apparently,thetranslationfollowstheoriginalstrictly,thoughnotrigidly,for他就是一個(gè)壞釣者isdulypushedback,and借助這么好的空氣isdulyfronted.Inaddition,minorchangeshavealsobeenmade.Tosomeextent,thetranslationisacceptablenow.However,壞釣者istoostraightforwardaterm;聲言isnotanappropriatetermforthecontext;沒有他的兒子那么好isnotanexpressionthatissufficientlyexplicit.B)Translation2:如果說(shuō)美洲大陸的荒原沒有親切地歡迎這些殖民者的話，卻提供了豐富的自然資源。約翰.史密斯船長(zhǎng)在《新英格蘭概述》（1616）中聲稱：“有了釣鉤與釣絲，一天之內(nèi)，釣不到一二百尾鱈魚，就不為善釣。”弗朗斯西.赫金森在《新英格蘭的種植園》（1630）中說(shuō)，“吸一口新英格蘭的空氣比喝老英格蘭的一股強(qiáng)勁的香酒更為愜意”，這話是很好的左證。赫金森還說(shuō)：

此外，我有一個(gè)孩子，雙手、雙腳原來(lái)都患有淋巴結(jié)核，一動(dòng)就痛得難忍，非常凄慘。自從來(lái)到這里以后，由于空氣新鮮，就完全換了一個(gè)人，不久還有希望痊愈?？蓱z的赫金森不像他的兒子那么有福，在《新英格蘭的種植園》出版的那年就去世了。Comments:Comparedwiththeprevious,whatSmithsaysandtheextra-textualquotationaredrasticallyreorganized.Theybothsoundmoreauthenticinthesenseofthetargetlanguageandculture,butalltheoriginalideasarestillthere,thoughinthenewclothesnow.C)Translation3:荒涼的美洲雖沒有給這些殖民者以溫馨的接待，卻為他們提供了豐富的自然資源。約翰.史密斯船長(zhǎng)在《新英格蘭素描》（1616）中說(shuō)：“有了釣鉤與釣絲，一天之內(nèi)，釣不到一二百尾鱈魚，就不為善釣。”弗朗斯西.赫金森在《新英格蘭種植園》（1630）中說(shuō)，“吸一口新英格蘭的空氣比痛飲老英格蘭的陳年老酒更為愜意”，這話與史密斯說(shuō)的異曲同工。他還說(shuō)：

我有個(gè)孩子，雙手和雙腳都患有淋巴結(jié)核，在老英格蘭時(shí)，一動(dòng)就疼痛難忍，非常凄苦。來(lái)到新英格蘭，一呼吸空氣新鮮，就像完全換了一個(gè)人，不久還有希望痊愈?？蓱z的赫金森不像他的兒子那樣福壽綿長(zhǎng)，《新英格蘭種植園》出版了,他也就去世了。Comments:Apparently,minorchangesaremadewithregardtoHigginson’swordsinandoutofthequotation,andinthelastsentenceofthetranslation.Minorthoughthechangesare,theyhaveinjectedauthenticityandreadabilityintothetranslation.Original64:OtherwritersechoedthedescriptionsandexaggerationsofSmithandHigginson.TheirpurposewastoattractdissatisfiedinhabitantsoftheOldWorldacrosstheoceantotheNew.Asaresult,theirtravelaccountsbecameakindofliteraturetowhichmanygroupsrespondedbymakingthehazardouscrossingtoAmerica.TheearliestsettlersincludedDutch,Swedes,Germans,French,Spaniards,Italians,andPortuguese.OftheimmigrantswhocametoAmericainthefirstthreequartersoftheseventeenthcentury,however,theoverwhelmingmajoritywasEnglish.1)Analysisoftheoriginal:A)GrammaticalanalysisB)StylisticanalysisA）Grammaticalanalysis:(1)Sentencestructure(2)Additionalcomplication(1)Sentencestructure：Theselectionconsistsoffivesentences,ofwhichonlythethirdandthelastarecomplexsentencesandalltheothersaresimpleones.Thethirdsentenceconsistsofamainclauseandanattributiveclauseandthelastconsistsofanattributiveclause,embeddedintheprepositionalphrase,andamainclause.Therefore,generallyspeaking,theselectionisnotgrammaticallypeculiarlycomplicated.(2)Additionalcomplication：Thethirdsentencebeginswithaprepositionalphrase;andthelastsentencebeginswithaprepositionalphraseandhasaparenthesisembedded.B)Stylisticanalysis:(1)Periodicity(2)Structuralcomplication(3)Parallelstructure(4)Cohesivedevice(5)Structuralandlexicalformality(1)Periodicity：Ofthefivesentences,thethirdandthelastareperiodicwhiletheotherthreeareloose,andthetwoperiodicsentencesbeginwithprepositionalphrases,andthelastsentencehasashortparenthesisembedded.(2)Structuralcomplication：Thesentencesarenotstructurallycomplicatedforthereareonlytwocomplexones.(3)Parallelstructure:Intheselection,parallelstructurescanbefound,forexample,descriptionsandexaggerations;SmithandHigginson;andDutch,Swedes,Germans,French,Spaniards,Italians,andPortuguese.(4)Cohesivedevice：

Intermsofcohesivedevice,examplescouldbefoundasfollows:parallelstructuresareused;SmithandHigginsonareamongthewriters,forwhichtheirisusedtostand;theOldWorldisusedincontrastwithAmerica;Dutch,Swedes,Germans,French,Spaniards,Italians,PortugueseandEnglishareusedasvarietiesofimmigrants;andsoon.(5)Structuralandlexicalformality：Structurally,theselectionisformalinthatthesentencesitiscomposedofaregrammaticallycompleteandfreefromcolloquialstructures.Lexically,formalwords,includingnominalizations,arefrequentlyused,forexample,description,exaggeration,purpose,attract,dissatisfied,inhabitant,ocean,result,travel,account,literature,respond,hazardous,andmanyothers.2)Stagedtranslation:A)Translation1withcommentsB)Translation2withcommentsC)Translation3withcommentsA)Translation1:別的作家重復(fù)著史密斯和赫金森的描述與夸張。他們的目的是吸引那些在歐洲生活得不夠愜意的人漂洋過(guò)海來(lái)到新大陸。結(jié)果，他們的游記就成了一種文學(xué)。對(duì)此，許多小組積極響應(yīng)，克服艱難險(xiǎn)阻遠(yuǎn)渡重洋來(lái)到美洲。早期來(lái)美洲定居的還有荷蘭人、瑞典人、德國(guó)人、法國(guó)人、西班牙人、意大利人和葡萄牙人。然而，在十七世紀(jì)頭七十五年里來(lái)到美洲的移民中，絕大多數(shù)是英國(guó)人。Comments:

Thetranslationfollowstheoriginalstrictlyandconsequently,someexpressionsdonotsoundauthentic,forexample,重復(fù)著……描述與夸張;許多小組,andothers.Inaddition,somesentencesarelongerthannecessary.However,generallyspeaking,thetranslationisacceptable,especiallythesecond,thethird,andthelasttwosentences.B)Translation2:其他作家也像史密斯和西金森那樣描述，那樣夸張，目的是吸引那些在歐洲生活得不夠愜意的人漂洋過(guò)海來(lái)到新大陸。結(jié)果，他們的游記就成了文學(xué)。對(duì)此，許多團(tuán)體積極響應(yīng)，克服艱難險(xiǎn)阻遠(yuǎn)渡重洋來(lái)到美洲。早期來(lái)美洲定居的還有荷蘭人、瑞典人、德國(guó)人、法國(guó)人、西班牙人、意大利人和葡萄牙人。然而，在十七世紀(jì)頭七十五年里來(lái)到美洲的移民中，壓倒多數(shù)的是英國(guó)人。Comments:Theabove-mentionedweakpointsareeliminatedand壓倒多數(shù)isusedtosubstitutefortheprevious.Consequently,thetranslationismorereadable,coherentandauthentic,andinthefinalanalysis,moreacceptable.C)Translation3:其他作家與史密斯和希金森相呼應(yīng)，像他們那樣描寫，那樣夸張，以便將遠(yuǎn)在大洋彼岸的那些不滿舊世界的人吸引到新大陸來(lái)。這樣一來(lái)，他們的旅行記就成了一種文學(xué)，人們?nèi)浩痦憫?yīng)，戰(zhàn)勝艱難險(xiǎn)阻，漂洋過(guò)海，來(lái)到美洲。最早到美洲定居的還有荷蘭人、瑞典人、德國(guó)人、法國(guó)人、西班牙人、意大利人和葡萄牙人。然而，在1601－1675年間來(lái)美洲定居的人中，英國(guó)人占?jí)旱苟鄶?shù)。Comments:Improvementsaremadewhen相呼應(yīng)isinserted,群起響應(yīng)isused,longsentencesarecutshort,andsoon.Inaddition,parallelstructuresareused,forexample,像他們那樣描寫，那樣夸張;漂洋過(guò)海，來(lái)到美洲andcause-and-effectrelationsaremoreexplicitlypresented,forexample,和……相呼應(yīng);以便……將……吸引到新大陸來(lái),andsoon.Consequently,thetranslationsoundsmorereadableandauthentic.Original65:TheEnglishimmigrantswhosettledonAmerica’snorthernseacoast,appropriatelycalledNewEngland,cameinordertopracticetheirreligionfreely.TheywereeitherEnglishmenwhowantedtoreformtheChurchofEnglandorpeoplewhowantedtohaveanentirelynewchurch.Thesetwogroupscombined,especiallyinwhatbecameMassachusetts,cametobeknownas“Puritans,”sonamedafterthosewhowishedto“purify”theChurchofEngland.1)Analysisoftheoriginal:A)GrammaticalanalysisB)StylisticanalysisA）Grammaticalanalysis:(1)Sentencestructure(2)Additionalcomplication(1)Sentencestructure：Theselectionconsistsofthreesentences,allofwhicharecomplexinstructure.Thefirstsentenceconsistsofamainclausewithanattributiveclauseembeddedinthesubjectofthemainclause;thesecondsentenceconsistsofamainclausewithtwoattributiveclausesembeddedinthecoordinatepredicatives;thethirdisalsoacomplexsentence,withtwoattributiveclausesembeddedoneintheparentheticstructureinthemiddleandtheotherattheendofthesentence.(2)Additionalcomplication：Thefirstandthethirdsentenceseachhaveaparentheticstructureembeddedandthepartattheendofthethirdsentencecanalsoberegardedasparenthetic.Therefore,theselectionissomewhatmoregrammaticallycomplicated.B)Stylisticanalysis:(1)Periodicity(2)Structuralcomplication(3)Parallelstructure(4)Cohesivedevice(5)Structuralandlexicalformality(1)Periodicity：Ofthethreesentences,thefirstandthelastareperiodicinthatinthesubjectpartofthefirstsentence,thereisanattributiveclausefollowedbyaparenthesis,andinthelast,therearetwoparenthesespositionedbeforeandafterthepredicatepart.Thesecondsentence,thoughlooseinstructure,hasacoordinatepredicative,eachofcoordinatephraseswithanattributiveclauseembedded.(2)Structuralcomplication:Intheselection,allthesentencesarestructurallycomplicatedtosomeextent.Asrevealedinthegrammaticalanalysis,thefirstisacomplexsentence,thesecondisacompoundcomplexsentenceandthethirdisacomplexsentence.(3)Parallelstructure：Intheselection,thereisonlyoneparallelstructureinthesecondsentence,whosetwopartsareconnectedbyeither…or….(4)Cohesivedevice：Intermsofcohesivedevice,examplescouldbefoundasfollows:parallelstructuresareseldomused;America,NewEnglandandMassachusettsaresemanticallyrelatedwithEnglishimmigrants;religion,theChurchofEngland,reform,puritanandpurifyarealsosemanticallyrelated,andsoon.(5)Structuralandlexicalformality：Structurally,theselectionisformalinthatthesentencesitiscomposedofaregrammaticallycompleteandfreefromcolloquialstructures.Lexically,formalwords,includingnominalizations,arefrequentlyused,forexample,immigrant,settle,appropriately,religion,church,entirely,andothers.2)Stagedtranslation:A)Translation1withcommentsB)Translation2withcommentsC)Translation3withcommentsA)Translation1:定居在美洲北部沿海一帶的英國(guó)移民，恰如其分地將那兒稱為新英格蘭，他們來(lái)到美洲以便實(shí)踐宗教自由。他們要么希望改革英格蘭的教會(huì)，要么希望創(chuàng)建全新的教堂。這兩股教民合在一起，特別是在后來(lái)成為馬薩諸塞州的地方，就稱之為“清教徒”。這樣命名，是仿效那些希望“純潔”英格蘭教會(huì)的人的。Comments:Thetranslationstrictlyfollowstheoriginal,especiallystructurally.However,theEnglishimmigrantswhosettledonAmerica’snorthernseacoastistranslatedinto定居在美洲北部沿海一帶的英國(guó)移民;要么and要么aredulyfronted,andthesetwogroupscombinedisproperlytranslated.AllthesechangesaremadeinaccordancewithChinesenorms.Butthetranslationcanstillbeimprovedon.B)Translation2:英國(guó)移民定居在美洲北部沿海一帶，恰如其分地將那兒稱為新英格蘭，他們來(lái)到美洲旨在追求宗教自由。一部分人希望改革英格蘭教會(huì)，另一部分人希望創(chuàng)建新教。兩股教民合在一起，特別是在馬薩諸塞州，后來(lái)被稱為“清教徒”。如此命名