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2014年惠一調(diào)讀后續(xù)寫Joeywassoexcitedhecouldhardlywaittogettothestore.HewalkedsofastthathissisterBethhadtorun.“Doyouhavetohurrylikethat?”shepuffed.OnhiswayfromschoolhehadseenthatbaseballcapinRogers’storewindow.Onlyadollar,andthiswasthelastcap!Joeyhadlookedatthecapalongtime.Hewanteditmorethananything.Everyboyatschoolhadone.Joeythoughtofhispiggybank,intowhichheputeverycoinforrunningerrands(差使)forhisfamilyandneighbors.Joeyracedhome,notstoppingforanything.Heheldthefatironpig,openeditcarefully,andpouredoutthecoins.Ten...twenty...thirty...ninetycents.Ifonlyhehadonemoredime(一角硬幣)!Lostinthought,Joeystaredoutthewindow.“What’swrong,Joey?”askedMother.Joeytoldaboutthemoneyandthecap.“Ifyougivemewhatyouhave,I’lladdadime,”Mothersaid,handinghimadollarbill.“I’llhavesomeerrandsforyoutomorrow.”Joeyjumpedup.“Oh,thanks,Mom.That’sgreat!”AndawaywentJoeyandBethtothestorewiththedollarbillinJoey’spocket.Theyturnedthelastcorner.Aheadwasagroupofboysandgirls,talkingheatedlyandlookingdownatthesidewalk.OneofthechildrenwasRonny,anewboywhohadbeeninthistownonlyashorttime.Ronny’sfatherhadbeensick,sotherewasn’tmuchmoneyforextras--likebaseballcap.“What’sthematter?”Bethasked,anxiously.“It’sRonny,”answeredSusan.“He’sbeenworkingandfinallysavedupawholedollar,andnowit’slost!”JoeywentovertoRonny.“We’llallhelplook.We’llfindit!”“RonnywasgoingtogetthatlastcapinRogers’window,”putinBilly.“Iwanteditalot.Iwanttojointhem.”Ronnysaidslowly.SuddenlyJoeyrememberedhowRonnyhadwatchedthefellowsplayingbaseball,hiseyeslightingupeagerlyastheyshoutedandran.注意:1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;2.請(qǐng)按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。Joeystaredattheground,thinkinghard._________________________________________________________Forcingasmile,JoeyshowedBeththeemptypocket.
______________________________________________01ReadforThemesRead主題語(yǔ)境:“人與社會(huì)”主題:“幫助朋友”。故事概要:主人公Joey非??释玫揭豁敯羟蛎保谌ド痰甑穆飞吓加鐾ベI棒球帽卻將錢遺失的Ronny。最后,善解人意的Joey將自己購(gòu)買帽子的一美元巧妙地給了Ronny,助Ronny實(shí)現(xiàn)了愿望。time(When)place(Where)character(Who)
event(What)settingJoey;Beth;RonnywhenJoeywasonthewaytotheRogers’storetobuybaseballcap
onthewaytotheRogers’storeJoeycameacrossRonny,whoalsowenttobuyabaseballcapbutlosthismoney.Intheend,theempatheticJoeycleverlygivesRonnythedollarheboughtforthelastbaseballcap,helpingRonnymakehiswishcometrue.02ReadSettingRead03ReadReadforConflictsEveryboyatschoolhadonecap.Joeymanagedtogetonedollarbyrunningerrandsandwenttobuythelastbaseballcapinthestore.Ronnywasanewboyinthetownandwaseagertojoinotherboys.Hewantedtobuythecapaswellandhadfinallysaveduponedollar,butitwaslost.Hisfatherwassick,andtherewasn’tmuchmoneyforextras.Bothofthemweregoingtobuythelastbaseballcap,andRonnylosthismoneytobuythecap.04Readforplots
ReadPara.1:Joeystaredattheground,thinkinghard.
determinedPara.2:Forcingasmile,JoeyshowedBeththeemptypocket
relievedandjoyfulHecameacrossRonny,wholostthemoneytobuythelastcap.sympatheticJoeywantedthebaseballcapaseveryboyintheschoolhadone.
expectant
Joeygotonedollartobuythelastcapandwasgoingtobuythecap.excitedStoryMountain思路啟發(fā)02Para.1:Joeystaredattheground,thinkinghardPara.2:
Forcingasmile,JoeyshowedBeththeemptypocket.Whatdidhethinkabout?Whatdecisiondidhemake?Whatdidhedotosolvetheproblem?WhydidheshowBeththeemptypocket?HowdidBethreactafterknowingthetruth?DidRonnygetthecap?HowdidJoeyfeelabouttheresult?Whatisthetheme?05ReadforCluesandpredictthePlotRead兩段首句定一段二段二首正能量·能力焦點(diǎn)·備考重點(diǎn)22—25分(優(yōu)秀)
1.創(chuàng)造了新穎、豐富、合理的內(nèi)容,富有邏輯性,續(xù)寫完整,與原文情境融洽度高;
2.使用了多樣且恰當(dāng)?shù)脑~匯和語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu),表達(dá)流暢,語(yǔ)言錯(cuò)誤很少,且完全不影響理解;
3.自然有效地使用了段落間、語(yǔ)句間銜接手段,全文結(jié)構(gòu)清晰,前后呼應(yīng),意義連貫。新高考全國(guó)卷續(xù)寫評(píng)分(節(jié)選)與原文可銜接點(diǎn)LearnthestandardToshowin3aspects:①Bodylanguage②Facialexpression③Conversation
GivedescriptioninanindirectwayWriting(1)Iwasdelighted.Myfacelitupwitharadiantsmileandmyeyesshonewithdelight.Iwasdelightedandexclaimed,“Imadeit!”
GivedescriptioninanindirectwayWriting(2)Iwasgratefultomyteacher.Withawarmsmileandagentlenod,Iexpressedmygratitudetomyteacher."Thankyousomuchforyourguidanceandsupport,"Isaid,myvoicefilledwithsincerity.
GivedescriptioninanindirectwayWriting(3)Heencouragedme.AsIwalkedintotheroom,hegreetedmewithathumbs-up."I'mheretosupportyoueverystepoftheway,"hesaid,hisvoicefilledwithencouragement.Withawarmsmileandagentlepatontheshoulder,heencouragedmetokeepgoing."Ibelieveinyou,"hesaid,hiseyesfilledwithconfidence.
GivedescriptioninanindirectwayWriting1.Applyproperexpressionsandsentencepatterns.
(1)羅尼撿起鈔票。(加adj;adv.——情緒/動(dòng)作)
Overwhelminglyexcitedanddelighted,Ronnypickedupthebill.
GivedescriptioninanindirectwayWriting1.Applyproperexpressionsandsentencepatterns.
(1)貝絲說:“喬伊,你真的沒有找到羅尼的美元。這是你的。(加動(dòng)作、表情、情緒)貝絲睜大眼睛,驚訝地說:“喬伊,你真的沒有找到羅尼的美元。這是你的。
Eyeswideopen,Bethutteredinsurprise,“Joey,youdidn’treallyfindRonny’sdollar.Itwasyours.”
GivedescriptioninanindirectwayWriting(2)feelsthdoingsth(情緒描寫)在知道哥哥的所作所為后,貝絲感到非常自豪
Afterknowingwhatherbrotherhaddone,Bethfeltveryproud.
Afterknowingwhatherbrotherhaddone,Bethfeltaflushofpridefloodingoverher.
GivedescriptioninanindirectwayWritingTrytowritepara.2.Pleaserefertotheassessmentformwhenyouwrite.表達(dá)積累04Abitdisappointedashewas,hestillfeltasenseofachievement.Itturnedoutthathisdeedsnotonlygaveahelpinghandtoapersoninneed,butalsogavehimselfasweettasteofbeingkind.Atthethoughtofhisdisappointedlook/Seeinghimclosetotears,Joeydeterminedtodohislittlebittohelphim.Awaveofsatisfactionsweptoverhim.Ronnynoddedingratitude,eyesglisteningwithheld-backtears.ThesceneoftheshabbycabinandtheimageofhissickfatherpoppingintoJoey’smind,aninnervoiceurgedhimtofollowhisheartatanyexpense.Withoutasecondthought,Joeyreachedintohispocketandsecretlydroppeditontheground.Whatfollowedwasanawkwardlylongsilence,whichwaseventuallybrokenbyBeth’sstomachgrowlingloudly.Thissituationputhiminadifficultposition.HeresolvedhisinternalconflictbytakingoutthebillandwavingitatRonny.范文賞析03
Joeystaredattheground,thinkinghard.ThatcapwouldmakeRonnyfeelhereallybelongedtothefellowgroup.Buthehimselfhadlongedforitsomuch.Hebithislowerlips,withhishandtightlyclutchingthedollar.Ronny’swordsconstantlyflashedthroughhismind.IthithimthatheshoulddosomethingniceforRonny.Hebentdownandgaveashout,“Look!Lookhere!”Theyallcrowdedaround.Therealmosthiddenintheleaveswastheunmistakablegreenofadollarbill!
Overwhelminglyexcitedanddelighted,Ronnypic
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