英語寫作中遣詞、造句、組段、謀篇-李華田教授

第二章如何遣詞、造句、組段、謀篇

大學(xué)英語寫作基礎(chǔ)

CollegeEnglishWriting:ABasicCourse

Back一、遣詞

從用詞的角度看，我們首先必須保證其準(zhǔn)確性，其次還必須注意其鮮明性和生動性。big，large,great,heavy,loud,strong,main,major,enormous,tremendous等，甚至還包括old在內(nèi)，都含有“大”的意思，但它們的準(zhǔn)確意義和具體用法卻有很大區(qū)別。如“一座大城市”可有三種表達(dá)方式：abigcity,alargecity,agreatcity。

head

1.Youshoulduseyourheadabit.

2.Hehasagoodheadformathematics.

3.Presentatthemeetingweretheheadsofgovernment

ofthefourcountries.

4.Headsortails?

5.Thisincidentbroughtmatterstoahead.

6.Let’sdiscussthequestionunderfiveheads.

Thegreatestresultsinlifeareusuallyattainedbysimplemeansandtheexerciseofordinaryqualities.Thecommonlifeofeveryday,withitscares,necessities,andduties,affordsampleopportunityforacquiringexperienceofthebestkind;anditsmostbeatenpathsprovidethetrueworkerwithabundantscopeforeffortandroomforself-improvement.Thosewhoarethemostpersistent,andworkinthetruestspirit,willusuallybethemostsuccessful.大家要擴大詞匯量，多掌握詞的多種形式,如：becomefashionable——comeintoafashionbeconvenient——atone’sconveniencebehelpful——beofhelpblame——putblameonchoosefrom——makeachoicebetweencomplain——placeacomplaintagainstcontrol——bring…undercontrolemphasize——attachimportancetorise——ontheriseuse——comeintouse大家也要掌握一些同義詞的意義和用法，如：big/large——spaciouscheating——deceptionclear——self-evidentcomefrom——derivefromdiligent——industriousimportant——crucialpunishment——penaltyrich——prosperoussame——identicaluse——utilize搭配關(guān)系aprettygirlahandsomegirlabeautifulgirlSheispretty,butnotbeautiful。

同樣起強調(diào)作用，表示“正是這（那）個”，但詞語不一樣，其位置和搭配關(guān)系就不一樣：

veryjustproperright

Det.Noun以run一詞為例，同學(xué)們常常留意的是它和介詞和副詞的搭配用法,如：runacross穿過，偶爾碰到runafter追趕，追求異性,

runagainst與…相撞，違反

runaway跑開，逃走

runawaywith逃離rundown變?nèi)?，衰減，撞倒

runinto跑進，磨合runinto裝上，偶爾碰到，總計，達(dá)到

runoff逃走，復(fù)印出，迅速寫出

runout跑開，到期，用光

runover碾過，溢出，復(fù)習(xí)

runthrough匆匆檢查，排演，練習(xí)

runto奔向，求助于

runup跑上，增加

runupagainst遇到（困難）這些搭配固然重要，我們也不能忽視其他的搭配形式。如：

runforpresidency競選總統(tǒng)

runtoextremes走向極端

runafactory辦工

runtheriskof冒著…的危險

runerrands替人跑腿

runasimiletoofar比喻得牽強附會

runone’seyesdownalist匆匆看一下單子

Thenewsranlikewildfire.消息像野火般傳開。

Theidearunsinhismind.這個念頭縈繞在他的腦海里。其次，我們在進行英文寫作時，應(yīng)該選用意義確切有個性的詞語，避免使用一些無生命力的詞語：A組B組animaltiger,monkey,zebra,panda,elephant…badcruel,rude,greedy,sly,sinister,rough…goodkind,friendly,honest,generous,sincere…h(huán)itbeat,whip,strike,collide,smack…movewalk,march,jump,turn,fly…scientistchemist,physicist,biologist,linguist…第三，我們還應(yīng)盡可能地選擇那些樸素易懂、簡潔明了的常用詞語，避免使用一些華麗做作、生僻罕見的詞語。A組B組begincommencechoicealternativeeatconsumefindoutascertainfinishaccomplishgetacquirereceiveprocureshowdemonstratespeedvelocitytalkaboutdwellonthinkaboutponderupon或contemplate第四，大量的習(xí)慣用語agreetosth.beangryatsth.agreewithsb.beangrywithsb.agreeonsth.callatturnoncallawayturnoffcallbackturnupcallbyturndowncalldownturntocallforturnovercallforthturnbackcallinturnincalloffturnawaycallout第五，盡量避免用詞重復(fù)。

要注意詞語的豐富性，盡量多使用一些同義詞。

第六，注意詞語內(nèi)涵所反映的中西方文化差異。文化重合washhands:洗手(把手洗干凈);上廁所;不再從事某事（金盆洗手）NumberOne(壹號):最重要的人或物；最好質(zhì)量的物品；廁所（委婉語）文化相通膽小如鼠——astimidasahare雞皮疙瘩——goose-bumps禽流感——birdflu入鄉(xiāng)隨俗——WheninRome,doastheRomansdo.像青松一樣挺拔——asstraightasanoaktree仰臥——lieonone’sback一箭雙雕——killtwobirdswithonestone有錢能使鬼推磨——Moneymakesthemarego.文化空缺theRenaissance——文藝復(fù)興黃巾起義——theYellowTurbansUprising(alarge-scalepeasantuprisingatthecloseoftheEasternHanDynasty)辛亥革命——the1911Revolution(againsttheQingDynasty)（而不能說XinhaiRevolution，因為“辛亥”涉及中國紀(jì)年法，絕大多數(shù)中國的年輕人對此都不了解，更何況英、美人呢？）又紅又?！猙othpoliticallyprogressiveandprofessionallyproficient二、造句句子是我們進行言語交際時能夠表達(dá)完整思想的最小語言單位。好的句子應(yīng)該具備以下特征：首先，句子應(yīng)具備統(tǒng)一性。不能說：Myyoungerbrotherisaworkerandhelivesin

Xiaogan,HubeiProvince.而應(yīng)說：Myyoungerbrotherisaworker.AndhelivesinXiaogan,HubeiProvince.其次，句子應(yīng)具備完整性

第三，句子應(yīng)具備簡潔性。不要說：Therearethreegeneralsattendingthemeeting.而應(yīng)說：Threegeneralsattendthemeeting.第四，句式要靈活多樣。

從具體使用目的的角度看，英語句子通常被分為四類：陳述句(declarativesentence),疑問句(interrogativesentence),祈使句(imperativesentence)和感嘆句(exclamatorysentence)。而疑問句又可分為一般疑問句和特殊疑問句。如：陳述句：ThefilmAirForceOneisreallywonderful.

AirForceOneisreallyawonderfulfilm.疑問句：Didyouseethefilm?（一般疑問句）

Howdidyouknowthat?（特殊疑問句）祈使句：Makesurenottobelatenexttime.感嘆句：HowwonderfulthefilmAirForceOneis!WhatawonderfulfilmAirForceOneis!單純從語法結(jié)構(gòu)上看，英語句子主要分為四種：簡單句(simplesentence)，并列句(compoundsentence)，復(fù)合句(complexsentence)，并列—復(fù)合句(compound-complexsentence)。如：

簡單句：Shewasillyesterday.

并列句：Hisbrotherisacollegeteacher,andhissisterisa

worker.

Shewasseriouslyillyesterday,soshedidn’tcome

towork.

復(fù)合句：Shedidn’tcometoworkyesterdaybecauseshe

wasill.

并列—復(fù)合句：Shedidn’tcometoworkyesterdaybecause

shecaughtabadcoldandthedoctoraskedherto

stayinbed.

從新信息和舊信息的相互位置看，英語句子可分為掉尾句(periodicsentence，又稱圓周句)和松散句(loosestructure)。

掉尾句就是指把修飾語（即舊信息）放在句子前部，而把主要內(nèi)容（即新信息）放在句子后部的句子。相反地，如果把主要內(nèi)容（即新信息）放在句子前部，而把起修飾或補充說明作用的成份（即舊信息）放在句子后部，則形成松散句。翻譯：她昨天因病未能上學(xué)。松散句：Becauseshewasill,shedidn’tcome

toschoolyesterday.

掉尾句：Shedidn’tcometoschoolyesterday

becauseshewasill.大家在寫作時常常出現(xiàn)的語法錯誤有：

1.句子的一致性被破壞。句子不統(tǒng)一的情況有以下幾種：（1）句子時態(tài)混亂

誤：Themainreasonheisabsentwasthathewasill.

正：Themainreasonhewasabsentwasthathewasill.

（2）句子語態(tài)混亂

誤：Ilefttheclassroomafterthehomeworkwasfinished.

正：IlefttheclassroomafterIfinishedthehomework.

（3）主謂不一致

誤：Everyteacherandstudentwereinvitedtogototheparty.

正：Everyteacherandstudentwasinvitedtogototheparty.

（4）代詞不一致

誤：Thestudentsdidn’tfindtheexamdifficult,butyoucouldn’tfinishitintwohours.

正：Thestudentsdidn’tfindtheexamdifficult,buttheycouldn’tfinishitintwohours.

誤：Theoldwomantoldthelittlegirlthatshewaswrong.

正：Theoldwomansaidtothelittlegirl,“Iamwrong.”

正：Theoldwomansaidtothelittlegirl,“Youarewrong.”2.句子結(jié)構(gòu)不完整：誤：Whilereadinginthelibrary,Janerealizedthatherpursewasmissing.Buthappilyfounditinherbag.（缺主語）正：Whilereadinginthelibrary,Janerealizedthatherpursewasmissing,buthappilyfounditinherbag.

正：Whilereadinginthelibrary,Janerealizedthatherpursewasmissing.Butshehappilyfounditinherbag.

誤：Heoftenrecalledhisuniversitydays.Itbeingtheonlytimehecouldsitunbotheredanddreamabouthisfuture.（缺謂語動詞)

正：Heoftenrecalledhisuniversitydays.Itwastheonlytimehecouldsitunbotheredanddreamabouthisfuture.

正：Heoftenrecalledhisuniversitydays,whichwastheonlytimehecouldsitunbotheredanddreamabouthisfuture.

誤：Manypeopleinourcountrypreferridingbiketogoingtowork.Becauseitischeaperandmoreconvenient.（狀語從句不能單獨成句）正：Manypeopleinourcountrypreferridingbiketogoingtowork,becauseitischeaperandmoreconvenient.

誤：Helovesthedogbetterthanhisbrother.（句子不完整引起歧義）正：Helovesthedogmorethanhisbrotherdoes.

誤：Thelecturewasgiveninsuchaninterestingway.（缺狀語）正：Thelecturewasgiveninsuchaninterestingwaythateveryoneenjoyeditverymuch.

3.句子結(jié)構(gòu)混亂、錯誤

誤：However,toomanyexaminationsprobablymakeusverytiredandnervous,andwasteourmuchtimeanduselessatall.

正：However,toomanyexaminationsprobablymakeusverytiredandnervous.Also,toomanyexaminationswasteourmuchtime.Someoftheseexaminationsareofnouse.

誤：Thegirlsaregoodatlearninglanguagestheboysshowgreattalentinlearningmathematics.

分析：這種溶合句有不同的改正方法：

正：Thegirlsaregoodatlearninglanguages.Theboysshowgreattalentinlearningmathematics.（改為兩個獨立的句子）

正：Thegirlsaregoodatlearninglanguages；theboysshowgreattalentinlearningmathematics.（用分號連接）

正：Thegirlsaregoodatlearninglanguages,and/buttheboysshowgreattalentinlearningmathematics.（用并列連詞連接）

正：Thegirlsaregoodatlearninglanguages，whiletheboysshowgreattalentinlearningmathematics.（用從屬連詞連接）4.修飾語位置錯誤

英語中的定語、狀語等都有其特定的位置。如果其位置錯誤，通常都會造成歧義。誤：Helookedoutandsawayoungladycomingthroughthewindow.

正：Helookedoutthroughthewindowandsawayoungladycoming.

誤:Hesoldtheoldcartothemanwithleatherseats.

正：Hesoldtheoldcarwithleatherseatstotheman.具體分析①串句(run-onsentence)TheyspentsummerinWuhanlastyeartheyhadabadtime.針對串句方面的錯誤，我們通?？梢圆捎萌缦氯N方法進行改正：第一，在兩個分句之間加入句號，將這兩個分句改寫成兩個獨立的句子：TheyspentsummerinWuhanlastyear.Theyhadabadtime.第二，分析這兩個分句之間的邏輯關(guān)系，再借助連接詞語，如and,but,for,because,or,nor,so,yet等，將他們進行連接：TheyspentsummerinWuhanlastyearandtheyhadabadtime.（簡單的并列，直接陳述事實）TheyspentsummerinWuhanlastyearbut/yettheyhadabadtime.（轉(zhuǎn)折關(guān)系）TheyhadabadtimelastyearbecausetheyspentsummerinWuhan.（因果關(guān)系）由于所用連接詞語不一樣，這三個句子所表達(dá)的邏輯關(guān)系和深層含義也都大不一樣。第三，恰當(dāng)運用標(biāo)點符號：TheyspentsummerinWuhanlastyear—theyhadabadtime.②破句(fragmentarysentence或fragment，或叫斷裂句)破句按照其形成原因可分為如下五種：A.缺少主語引起的破句(missing-subjectfragment)如果在沒有有意使用省略的情況下，一個形式獨立的句子沒有主語，就出現(xiàn)結(jié)構(gòu)不完整的錯誤，形成缺少主語的破句。如：Whilesittinginclass,XiaoLiurealizedshehadlostherring.Buthappilyfounditinthewomen’sroomafterclass.針對此類錯誤，我們通常可采用以下四種改正方法：第一，直接將破句附加到前面的句子上。如上述破句可改為：Whilesittinginclass,XiaoLiurealizedshehadlostherring,buthappilyfounditinthewomen’sroomafterclass.第二，給破句部分補上主語，使其本身成為一個結(jié)構(gòu)完整的句子。如上述破句也可改為：Whilesittinginclass,XiaoLiurealizedshehadlostherring.Butshehappilyfounditinthewomen’sroomafterclass.第三，如果破句部分可用作目的或結(jié)果狀語，則可將其改為動詞不定式短語。如上述破句還可改為：Whilesittinginclass,XiaoLiurealizedshehadlostherring,buthappilytofinditinthewomen’sroomafterclass.第四，如果破句部分可用作伴隨狀語，通常可將其改為現(xiàn)在分詞短語。如下列破句：Tomwenttotherefrigeratortogetsomemilkforhisbreakfast.Anddiscoveredonlyaboutonetablespoonofmilkleft.可改為：Goingtotherefrigeratortogetsomemilkforhisbreakfast,Tomdiscoveredonlyaboutonetablespoonofmilkleft.B.現(xiàn)在分詞引起的破句(-ingfragment)如果-ing分詞短語被獨立使用而又沒有其他完整的“主語+謂語”結(jié)構(gòu)時，就形成破句。如：Ispentalmosttwohoursonthephoneyesterday.Tryingtofindagaragetorepairmycar.可采取如下兩種方法進行改正：第一，將現(xiàn)在分詞引起的破句附加到主句上，使其形成主句的伴隨狀語。如上述破句可改為：Ispentalmosttwohoursonthephoneyesterday,tryingtofindagaragetorepairmycar.第二，給現(xiàn)在分詞引起的破句增加主語，使其本身形成一個主謂結(jié)構(gòu)完整的分句。如上述破句也可改為：a.Ispentalmosttwohoursonthephoneyesterday,andItriedtofindagaragetorepairmycar.（一個并列句）b.Ispentalmosttwohoursonthephoneyesterday.AndItriedtofindagaragetorepairmycar.（兩個獨立的簡單句）C．從屬連詞使用不當(dāng)引起的破句(dependent-wordfragment)如果從屬連詞，如after,although,as,asif,because,before,evenif,eventhough,if,since,sothat,that,though,till,unless,until,when,whenever,where,wherever,which,whichever,while,who,whoever等，引導(dǎo)的分句被獨立使用而沒有完整的“主語+謂語”結(jié)構(gòu)時，就形成破句。如：Jacksatnervouslyinthedentalclinic.Whilewaitingtohavehiswisdomtoothpulled.為了改正此類錯誤，我們通常可以采用三種方法：第一，直接將從屬連詞引導(dǎo)的破句附加到主句上，使兩者成為一個“主句+從句”結(jié)構(gòu)。如上述破句可改為：Jacksatnervouslyinthedentalclinicwhilehewaswaitingtohavehiswisdomtoothpulled.第二，將從屬連詞去掉，使從屬連詞引導(dǎo)的破句變成為一個獨立的句子。如上述破句可改為：Jacksatnervouslyinthedentalclinic.Andhewaitedtohavehiswisdomtoothpulled.（增加連接詞使句子之間的過渡變得平滑）第三，將從屬連詞引導(dǎo)的破句變成一個用做伴隨狀語的分詞短語。如上述破句可改為：Whilewaitingtohavehiswisdomtoothpulled,Jacksatnervouslyinthedentalclinic.或：Jacksatnervouslyinthedentalclinic，waitingtohavehiswisdomtoothpulled.D．動詞不定式使用不當(dāng)引起的破句(to-fragment)如果以to引導(dǎo)的動詞不定式短語被獨立使用而又沒有其他完整的“主語+謂語”結(jié)構(gòu)時，就形成破句。如：Ihavealwaysworkedovertime.Tofinishwritingthisbookintime.為了改正動詞不定式使用不當(dāng)引起的破句，我們可將該破句附加到主句上，使其成為主句的目的狀語。如上述破句可改為：Ihavealwaysworkedovertimetofinishwritingthisbookintime.當(dāng)然，我們也可以把用作目的狀語的動詞不定式短語放在主句的前面，但此時我們必須用逗號把它與主句隔開。Tofinishwritingthisbookintime,Ihavealwaysworkedovertime.E.增加細(xì)節(jié)引起的破句(added-detailfragment)我們往往就會運用also,especially,except,exceptfor,forexample,forinstance,including,suchas,too等詞語。如果在該用主語或謂語時而沒有用，就形成破句。如：Thefirstloadofwashshouldbewhitethings.Suchasbedsheets,pillowcases,towels,handkerchiefs,andunderwear.Theclassoftenstartslate.Forexample,yesterdayataquarterpasteight.Hefailedanumberofcoursesbeforeheearnedhisdegree.Amongthem,ExtensiveReadingII,BasicWritingofEnglish,andPhilosophy.為了改正此類錯誤，我們通常可采取如下三種方法：第一，直接將破句部分附加到主句上使兩者合并成為一個完整的句子。如上述第一句可改為：Thefirstloadofwashshouldbewhitethings,suchasbedsheets,pillowcases,towels,handkerchiefs,andunderwear.第二，給破句部分加上主語和謂語，使其本身成為一個結(jié)構(gòu)完整的成分。如上述第二句、第三句可分別改為：Theclassoftenstartslate.Forexample,yesterdayitbeganataquarterpasteight.Beforeheearnedhisdegree,hefailedanumberofcourses,amongthemwereExtensiveReadingII,BasicWritingofEnglish,andPhilosophy.（此句語序已經(jīng)作了適當(dāng)調(diào)整）第三，對原句進行全面調(diào)整，使破句部分成為原句內(nèi)容的一部分。如上述第三句還可改為：AmongthecourseshefailedbeforeheearnedhisdegreewereExtensiveReadingII,BasicWritingofEnglish,andPhilosophy.③平行結(jié)構(gòu)錯誤(faultyparallelism)如果我們恰當(dāng)使用平行結(jié)構(gòu)(parallelism)，不僅可以更加清楚地表達(dá)意義，而且可以起到修辭美的效果。Ienjoybadmintonandbowlingball.（名詞平行結(jié)構(gòu)）Herofficeissmallanddirty.（形容詞平行結(jié)構(gòu)）Werequestedthathesingourfavoritesongsandheallowustorecordthem.（叢句平行結(jié)構(gòu)）IwanttolearnFrench,andhewantstolearnJapanese.（分句平行結(jié)構(gòu)—并列句）但如果對平行結(jié)構(gòu)使用不當(dāng)，我們就會犯如下三種錯誤：A.并列結(jié)構(gòu)錯誤(faultycoordination)用于并列結(jié)構(gòu)的所有成份應(yīng)該具有相同的語法特征，其詞類和充當(dāng)?shù)恼Z法結(jié)構(gòu)必須完全相同。否則，就出現(xiàn)結(jié)構(gòu)錯誤。如：Hespendsagreatdealofmoneyandfoolishly.此句可改為：Hespendsagreatdealofmoneyfoolishly.由于這里的名詞賓語較長，而副詞狀語較短，所以，此句最好改為：Hespendsfoolishlyagreatdealofmoney.我們再看一個例子：Heistall,handsome,hardworkingandgently.此句可改為：Heistall,handsome,hardworkingandgentle.我們再看一個例子：HeeitherwantstostudyInformationEngineeringorstudyAutomationEngineering.應(yīng)該改為：HewantstostudyeitherInformationEngineeringorAutomationEngineering.或者改為：HeeitherwantstostudyInformationEngineeringorwantstostudyAutomationEngineering.（顯然第二句沒有第一句簡潔）B．排比結(jié)構(gòu)錯誤(faultyparallel)如：Manypeoplechooseairtransportationbecauseitisfast,offersconvenience,anditisnotveryexpensive.此句應(yīng)該改為：.Manypeoplechooseairtransportationbecauseitisfast,convenient,andinexpensive.C.比較結(jié)構(gòu)錯誤(faultycomparison)由于在漢語中使用比較結(jié)構(gòu)時，人們通?？墒褂檬÷孕问?，所以很多人在用英語造句時也套用漢語句式進行省略，從而導(dǎo)致英語句子結(jié)構(gòu)的錯誤。如：Mary’scollectionofbooksisasextensiveasJack.此句應(yīng)該改為：Mary’scollectionofbooksisasextensiveasJack’s(collectionofbooks).我們再看一個例子：Thenumberofstudentsattendingyourschoolislargerthanourschool.此句應(yīng)該改為：Thenumberofstudentsattendingyourschoolislargerthanthatofourschool.D.省略結(jié)構(gòu)錯誤(incorrectomission)如果我們不恰當(dāng)?shù)厥÷粤似叫薪Y(jié)構(gòu)中的某些詞語，使得同一個詞語的同一種形式必須同時承擔(dān)兩種或更多不同的語法功能，也造成句子結(jié)構(gòu)上的錯誤。如：Healwayshasandalwayswillworkhard.此句應(yīng)該改為：Hehasalwayshasworkedandalwayswillworkhard.④修飾語位置不當(dāng)(misplacedmodifier)在英語中，除了轉(zhuǎn)移修飾(transferredepithet)這件特殊的語法現(xiàn)象之外，修飾語總是必須最靠近被修飾語。如果我們換個角度看，也就是說，修飾語與哪個成份距離最近，它就修飾那個成份。請看下面的例子：Inearlyearned3000yuanlastmonth.很明顯，說話者本來的意思是想說“上月我賺了差不多3000元”，而不是要說“上月我?guī)缀跻?000元，但實際上什么也沒有賺到?！彼裕揪鋺?yīng)該改為：Iearnednearly3000yuanlastmonth.我們再看一個句子：XIELihongistheonlygirlamongthesixworkerswhoisfromWuhan.很明顯，此句中whoisfromWuhan是用來修飾theonlygirl，說明XIELihong的籍貫，而不是用來修飾thesixworkers。因此，此句應(yīng)該改為：Amongthesixworkers,XIELihongistheonlygirlwhoisfromWuhan.我們還必須提高句子寫作的技巧，使我們的語言簡潔、生動和形象。這包括以下三個方面：

⑴句子要簡潔。

請看下面各例：

繁：Anotherfactorthataddstothepersuasivepowerofthisspeechisthevividexampleitgives.

簡：Thevividexamplealsomakesthespeechmorepersuasive.

繁：OwingtothefactthatIwasverybusy,itwasn’tpossibleformetoaccepttheirinvitation.

簡：Iwastoobusytoaccepttheirinvitation

繁：Thereareseveralthingswhichareinterestinghere.

簡：Severalthingsareinterestinghere.

繁：Thepurposeofthereportistoexplain,toclarifyandtomakeclearthereasonsforthenewPanamaCanalTreaty.

簡：ThepurposeofthereportistoexplainthereasonsforthenewPanamaCanalTreaty⑵句型要多樣，避免單一。

EarnestHemingwaywasbornin1898.Hestartedwritingasanewspaperreporter.HethenwenttoEuropeandtookpartinWorldWarI.Thewarplayedanimportantpartinhisbooks.Heneverprojectedamindlesscombativeness.Heknewthesufferingthatwarcouldbring.Heshoweditbetterinhisshortstory,“InAnotherCountry”,thananywhereelse.

我們可以把它改為：

Bornin1898,ErnestHemingwaystartedwritingasanewspaperreporter.Then,hewenttoEuropeandtookpartinWorldWarI.Inspiteofthesignificanceofthewarforhim,heneverprojectedamindlesscombativeness.Heknewthesufferingthatwarcouldbring.Nowheredidheshowthisbetterthaninhisshortstory,“InAnotherCountry”.如：

Ireturnedtomyroom.Therewasanoteundermydoor.ItwasfromBob.Hesaidhewasinthetownlookingforajob.Hehadn'tfoundanythingyet.Headdedthathewassorrytohavemissedme.

可做如下改動：

WhenIreturnedtomyroom,IfoundanotefromBobunderthedoor.Hesaidhewasinthetownlookingforajob,buthadn’tfoundanythingyet.Headdedthathewassorrytohavemissedme.⑶句子要形象。

適當(dāng)?shù)厥褂靡恍┬揶o手法如比喻、夸張、排比、擬人等能更形象、更深刻地說明事理，增加文章的活力。

①明喻（simile）

②暗喻（metaphor）

Heissomethingofapoliticalchameleon.他有點像政治上的變色龍。Agoodbookisoftenthebesturnofalifeenshriningthebestthatlifecouldthinkof.一本好書往往就是人的一生最好的歸宿之所，它珍藏著人的思想的精華。

③擬人（personification）

Aliegoeshalfwayaroundtheworldbeforetruthhastimetogetsitstrouserson.真相還來不及穿上褲子，謊言已經(jīng)走遍了半個世界。

④夸張（hyperbole）

Thetwosistersaredifferentinathousandandoneways.這兩姐妹個性迥異。三、組段——段落的拓展方法段落=主題句+拓展句①+拓展句②+拓展句③+……+結(jié)尾句例如：1999年6月全國大學(xué)英語四級考試的作文題為：

Directions:Forthispart,youareallowed30minutestowritea

compositiononthetopic:ReadingSelectivelyor

Extensively.

Youshouldwriteatleast120words,andbaseyour

compositionontheoutline(giveninChinese)below:

1.有些人認(rèn)為讀書要有選擇；

2.有些人認(rèn)為應(yīng)當(dāng)博覽群書；

3.我的看法。根據(jù)這篇作文的標(biāo)題和中文提綱的提示，我們可將其主要內(nèi)容概括為：中心思想：Readingselectivelyorextensively主題句：Shouldwereadselectivelyorextensively?Everyonehashis/herownopinion.拓展句①：Somepeoplethinkthatweshouldreadselectively.拓展句②：Onthecontrary,othersbelievethatweshouldreadextensively.結(jié)尾句：Inmyopinion,weshouldfirstreadextensivelyandthenreadselectively.1．怎樣寫好主題句

寫好主題句要注意以下幾點：

第一，主題句必須由一個完整的句子構(gòu)成。

第二，主題句必須具體，不能過于籠統(tǒng)和抽象。

第三，主題句用詞必須準(zhǔn)確，結(jié)構(gòu)完整，意思清楚。

下面我們來看幾個主題句寫作的范例：

Topic1:TheimportanceofEducation

Topicsentence1:Theprosperityofanationdependsonthedevelopmentofeducation.

Topicsentence2:Educationisalsovitaltothedevelopmentofanindividual.

Topic2:PositiveandNegativeAspectsofSports:

Topicsentence1:Sportsbenefitusinmanyaspects.

Topicsentence2:Sportscandosomeharmtosomepeople.

Topic4:ProblemsofPiracy

Topicsentence1:Piracybringsgreatlosstobothproducersandauthors.

Topicsentence2:Thegovernmentshouldtakemeasurestodealwiththeproblemsofpiracy.當(dāng)主題句位于段首時：NowIhavebeenacollegestudentformonths.UnlikewhatIhaveheardbefore,studyisstillthemostimportantthing,andIreallywanttolearnsomethingpractical.NotonlyshouldIgotoclasses,butIalsohavetostudybymyself.Itrequirestime,commitmentanddiscipline.Italsocanhelpsmetodevelopmylearningshills.Butjustdevelopingmylearningshillsisnotenough.Imustreinforcemycommunicatingshills.SoItriedmybesttoseizeeveryopportunitytoparticipateinactivitiesthoughfacedwithdifficultiesandfailures.IhavecomeacrosspeopleofvariouspersonalitiesandthereforeImustlearntocopewithdifferentpeopleandgaininterpersonalexperience.Besides,Ihavetolearntosolveproblemsaswellasashforhelp.Now,insteadoffeelingfrustrated,Ihavebecomemoreoutgoingandconfidentthanbefore.當(dāng)主題句位于段尾時：Americansrelaxingathomemayputonkimonos,whichisaJapaneseword.AmericanswholiveinawarmclimatemaytaketheseanafternoonsiestaonanoutdoorpatiowithoutevenrealizingthatareSpanishwords.Intheirgardens,theymayenjoythefragranceofjasmineflowers,awordthatcameintoEnglishfromPersian.Theymayevenrelaxonachalselonguewhilesippingadrinkwithvodka,wordsofFrenchandRussianorigin,respectively.SowecanseetherearemanyforeignwordsandphrasesinAmericaneverydaylanguage.當(dāng)主題句位于段中時：InSeptember,Jackfellofftheunevenbarsandgotaconcussion.Amonthlaterhesprainedhisankle,afterabadlandingoffthebalancebeam.Jackreallyshouldn’thavetakenthegymnasticscourse.InJanuarythisyear,hebrokehisthumbwhenhecaughtitonthebarofthepommelhorse.Healsobrokethesupportbeaminthebasementofhisparents’home,showingthemhisskillswhenhewashomefortheDecemberholidays.TheresultofhisbadluckwasthathefailedtograduateinMay.2.怎樣寫好拓展句——常用的段落拓展方法介紹一下10種常用的段落拓展方法：(1)順序法,包括①時間順序法，②空間順序法，③主次順序法和④步驟順序法；(2)舉例說明法；(3)分類法；(4)定義解釋法；(5)概括法；(6)比較法；(7)對比法；(8)列舉法；(9)類比法（或叫模擬法）；(10)因果關(guān)系法。(1)順序法①時間順序法(developmentbytime或chronologicalorder)我們在講故事和敘述事件經(jīng)過時，最簡單最直接的方法就是按時間順序進行：把先發(fā)生的事情先講，后發(fā)生的事情后講。如：AnAwfulDayYesterdaywasoneofthoseawfuldaysformewheneverythingIdidwentwrong.First,Ididn’thearmyalarmclockandIdidn’twakeupuntil

ten

to

eight

o’clock.Thus,Ididn’thaveenoughtimeforbreakfast,andIarrivedlateforclass.After

one

period

of

class,Ifeltterriblyhungry.ThenIsuddenlyfeltratherawkwardbecauseI,inahurry,putonthetrousersIworethedaybeforeandIfoundtherewassomedirtonthem.AfterIhadpulledthroughmyfourperiods,itwasalreadynearly

twelve

o’clock.Irushedoutformybrunch.Butunfortunately,Idroppedmyteacupandspoiltmynewshirt.When

I

got

home,Icouldn’tgetintomyapartmentbecauseIhadforgottentobringmykeyswithmewhenIhurriedoutinthemorning.SoIhadtocallthepolicetohelpmetobreakthedoor.After

I

finally

arrived

home,Ihadtoaskthedoor-repairingmantofixanewdoorforme.我們再看一個例子。

IstillrememberthedaywhenIfirstcametomycollege.ItwasSeptember8,1985.Thatmorningwhenthebuscarriedmetothegateofthecollege,Ifeltmyheartbeatingexcitedly.AssoonasIgotoffthebus,Iwasledbyseveralsecond-yearstudentstothedormitorywhere,forthefisttime,Iwasgoingtoliveawayfrommyparents.Theelderroommatestaughtmehowtomakethebedandfixthenet.Intheafternoon,Iwentthroughtheregistrationproceduresinthegreathall,andgotacollegebedgeandastudentcard.IthoughtIreallybecameacollegestudent.Aftersupper,Itookawalkaroundthecampustogetherwithmyroommates,talkingaboutourpastsandfutures.Everythingonthecampusappearedespeciallybrightandfresh.Therewasasonginmyheartandcheeronmyface.Wewereallsoexcitedthatnoonewantedtogobacktoourdormandsleep.②空間順序法（developmentbyspace）ProfessorCook,awell-knownAmericanhistorian,arrangesthebooksonhisbookshelvesinauniqueway.Intheupperrighthandcorner,therearebooksaboutthedevelopmentoftheearlycoloniesinNewEnglandandtheWarofIndependence.Rightunderthemcanbefoundbooksontheslavetrade,theplantationsystemandthegrowthofthesouthernstates.TheleftsideoftheshelfcontainshundredsofbooksconcerningsubjectsoftheWestwardMovement,Indianculture,thecowboys’contributionstoAmericansocietyandtheGoldRushinCalifornia.Fromthedescriptionabove,wecanseethatMrCookregardshisbookshelvesasamapoftheU.S.andarrangeshishistorybooksaccordingly.Itisodd,butitisconvergent.③主次順序法(developmentbyimportance)Therearesomeadvantagestousingcreditcards.Thebiggestadvantageisthattheconsumercanpurchasewhatshewantswhenshewantsit.Thereisnoneedtosaveupmoneyinadvance.Anotheradvantageofhavingacreditcardisthatitprotectstheowner.Ifacreditcardislostorstolen,theowneronlyhastocallthecreditcompanyandthecreditcompanywillstopthecreditcardnumber.Nooneelsecanuseit.Athirdadvantageisthattheconsumerreceivesarecordofherpurchaseeverymonth.Thismakesiteasiertorememberwhenandwherepurchasesaremade.4步驟順序法（developmentbyprocess或chronologicalsequencing）HowtoGrowCabbagesCabbageisakindofhealthyvegetable.Butdoyouknowhowtogrowcabbages?Thefirststeptogrowcabbagesispreparingaboxofrichsoil,whichhasbeenfertilized.Then

weuseasmallshortsticktomakesomeholesinit.Thenextistosowthecabbageseedsinthesoilanddon’tforgettocovertheseedswithathinlayerofsoil.Thenpleasewaterthemcarefully,butmakesureit’sneithertoowetnorto