牛津書(shū)蟲(chóng)第6級(jí)6-01.Jane Eyre Chapter 8

110

Chapter8

Erethehalf-hourended,fiveo’clockstruck;schoolwasdismissed,andallweregoneintotherefectorytotea.Inowventuredtodescend:itwasdeepdusk;Iretiredintoacornerandsatdownonthefloor.ThespellbywhichIhadbeensofarsupportedbegantodissolve;reactiontookplace,andsoon,sooverwhelmingwasthegriefthatseizedme,Isankprostratewithmyfacetotheground.NowIwept:HelenBurnswasnothere;nothingsustainedme;lefttomyselfIabandonedmyself,andmytearswateredtheboards.Ihadmeanttobesogood,andtodosomuchatLowood:tomakesomanyfriends,toearnrespectandwinaffection.AlreadyIhadmadevisibleprogress:thatverymorningIhadreachedtheheadofmyclass;MissMillerhadpraisedmewarmly;MissTemplehadsmiledapprobation;shehadpromisedtoteachmedrawing,andtoletmelearnFrench,ifIcontinuedtomakesimilarimprovementtwomonthslonger:andthenIwaswellreceivedbymyfellow-pupils;treatedasanequalbythoseofmyownage,andnotmolestedbyany;now,hereIlayagaincrushedandtroddenon;andcouldIeverrisemore?

“Never,”Ithought;andardentlyIwishedtodie.Whilesobbingoutthiswishinbrokenaccents,someoneapproached:Istartedup—againHelenBurnswasnearme;thefadingfiresjustshowedhercomingupthelong,vacantroom;shebroughtmycoffeeandbread.

111

“Come,eatsomething,”shesaid;butIputbothawayfromme,feelingasifadroporacrumbwouldhavechokedmeinmypresentcondition.Helenregardedme,probablywithsurprise:Icouldnotnowabatemyagitation,thoughItriedhard;Icontinuedtoweepaloud.Shesatdownonthegroundnearme,embracedherkneeswithherarms,andrestedherheaduponthem;inthatattitudesheremainedsilentasanIndian.Iwasthefirstwhospoke-

“Helen,whydoyoustaywithagirlwhomeverybodybelievestobealiar?”

“Everybody,Jane?Why,thereareonlyeightypeoplewhohaveheardyoucalledso,andtheworldcontainshundredsofmillions.”

“ButwhathaveItodowithmillions?Theeighty,Iknow,despiseme.”

“Jane,youaremistaken:probablynotoneintheschooleitherdespisesordislikesyou:many,Iamsure,pityyoumuch.”

“HowcantheypitymeafterwhatMr.Brocklehursthassaid?”

“Mr.Brocklehurstisnotagod:norisheevenagreatandadmiredman:heislittlelikedhere;henevertookstepstomakehimselfliked.Hadhetreatedyouasanespecialfavourite,youwouldhavefoundenemies,declaredorcovert,allaroundyou;asitis,thegreaternumberwouldofferyousympathyiftheydared.

112

Teachersandpupilsmaylookcoldlyonyouforadayortwo,butfriendlyfeelingsareconcealedintheirhearts;andifyoupersevereindoingwell,thesefeelingswillerelongappearsomuchthemoreevidentlyfortheirtemporarysuppression.Besides,Jane”—shepaused.

“Well,Helen?”saidI,puttingmyhandintohers:shechafedmyfingersgentlytowarmthem,andwenton-

“Ifalltheworldhatedyou,andbelievedyouwicked,whileyourownconscienceapprovedyou,andabsolvedyoufromguilt,youwouldnotbewithoutfriends.”

“No;IknowIshouldthinkwellofmyself;butthatisnotenough:ifothersdon’tlovemeIwouldratherdiethanlive—Icannotbeartobesolitaryandhated,Helen.Lookhere;togainsomerealaffectionfromyou,orMissTemple,oranyotherwhomItrulylove,Iwouldwillinglysubmittohavetheboneofmyarmbroken,ortoletabulltossme,ortostandbehindakickinghorse,andletitdashitshoofatmychest—“

“Hush,Jane!youthinktoomuchoftheloveofhumanbeings;youaretooimpulsive,toovehement;thesovereignhandthatcreatedyourframe,andputlifeintoit,hasprovidedyouwithotherresourcesthanyourfeebleself,orthancreaturesfeebleasyou.Besidesthisearth,andbesidestheraceofmen,thereisaninvisibleworldandakingdomofspirits:thatworldisroundus,foritiseverywhere;andthosespiritswatchus,fortheyarecommissionedtoguardus;andifweweredyinginpainandshame,ifscornsmoteusonall

113

sides,andhatredcrushedus,angelsseeourtortures,recogniseourinnocence(ifinnocentwebe:asIknowyouareofthischargewhichMr.Brocklehursthasweaklyandpompouslyrepeatedatsecond-handfromMrs.Reed;forIreadasincerenatureinyourardenteyesandonyourclearfront),andGodwaitsonlytheseparationofspiritfromfleshtocrownuswithafullreward.Why,then,shouldweeversinkoverwhelmedwithdistress,whenlifeissosoonover,anddeathissocertainanentrancetohappiness—toglory?”

Iwassilent;Helenhadcalmedme;butinthetranquillitysheimpartedtherewasanalloyofinexpressiblesadness.Ifelttheimpressionofwoeasshespoke,butIcouldnottellwhenceitcame;andwhen,havingdonespeaking,shebreathedalittlefastandcoughedashortcough,Imomentarilyforgotmyownsorrowstoyieldtoavagueconcernforher.

RestingmyheadonHelen’sshoulder,Iputmyarmsroundherwaist;shedrewmetoher,andwereposedinsilence.Wehadnotsatlongthus,whenanotherpersoncamein.Someheavyclouds,sweptfromtheskybyarisingwind,hadleftthemoonbare;andherlight,streaminginthroughawindownear,shonefullbothonusandontheapproachingfigure,whichweatoncerecognisedasMissTemple.

“Icameonpurposetofindyou,JaneEyre,”saidshe;“Iwantyouinmyroom;andasHelenBurnsiswithyou,shemaycometoo.”

114

Wewent;followingthesuperintendent’sguidance,wehadtothreadsomeintricatepassages,andmountastaircasebeforewereachedherapartment;itcontainedagoodfire,andlookedcheerful.MissTempletoldHelenBurnstobeseatedinalowarm-chairononesideofthehearth,andherselftakinganother,shecalledmetoherside.

“Isitallover?”sheasked,lookingdownatmyface.“Haveyoucriedyourgriefaway?”

“IamafraidInevershalldothat.”

“Why?”

“BecauseIhavebeenwronglyaccused;andyou,ma’am,andeverybodyelse,willnowthinkmewicked.”

“Weshallthinkyouwhatyouproveyourselftobe,mychild.Continuetoactasagoodgirl,andyouwillsatisfyus.”

“ShallI,MissTemple?”

“Youwill,”saidshe,passingherarmroundme.“AndnowtellmewhoistheladywhomMr.Brocklehurstcalledyourbenefactress?”

“Mrs.Reed,myuncle’swife.Myuncleisdead,andheleftmetohercare.”

“Didshenot,then,adoptyouofherownaccord?”

“No,ma’am;shewassorrytohavetodoit:butmyuncle,asIhaveoftenheardtheservantssay,gotherto

115

promisebeforehediedthatshewouldalwayskeepme.”

“Wellnow,Jane,youknow,oratleastIwilltellyou,thatwhenacriminalisaccused,heisalwaysallowedtospeakinhisowndefence.Youhavebeenchargedwithfalsehood;defendyourselftomeaswellasyoucan.Saywhateveryourmemorysuggestsistrue;butaddnothingandexaggeratenothing.”

Iresolved,inthedepthofmyheart,thatIwouldbemostmoderate—mostcorrect;and,havingreflectedafewminutesinordertoarrangecoherentlywhatIhadtosay,Itoldherallthestoryofmysadchildhood.Exhaustedbyemotion,mylanguagewasmoresubduedthanitgenerallywaswhenitdevelopedthatsadtheme;andmindfulofHelen’swarningsagainsttheindulgenceofresentment,Iinfusedintothenarrativefarlessofgallandwormwoodthanordinary.Thusrestrainedandsimplified,itsoundedmorecredible:IfeltasIwentonthatMissTemplefullybelievedme.

InthecourseofthetaleIhadmentionedMr.Lloydashavingcometoseemeafterthefit:forIneverforgotthe,tome,frightfulepisodeofthered-room:indetailingwhich,myexcitementwassure,insomedegree,tobreakbounds;fornothingcouldsofteninmyrecollectionthespasmofagonywhichclutchedmyheartwhenMrs.Reedspurnedmywildsupplicationforpardon,andlockedmeasecondtimeinthedarkandhauntedchamber.

116

Ihadfinished:MissTempleregardedmeafewminutesinsilence;shethensaid-

“IknowsomethingofMr.Lloyd;Ishallwritetohim;ifhisreplyagreeswithyourstatement,youshallbepubliclyclearedfromeveryimputation;tome,Jane,youareclearnow.”

Shekissedme,andstillkeepingmeatherside(whereIwaswellcontentedtostand,forIderivedachild’spleasurefromthecontemplationofherface,herdress,heroneortwoornaments,herwhiteforehead,herclusteredandshiningcurls,andbeamingdarkeyes),sheproceededtoaddressHelenBurns.

“Howareyouto-night,Helen?Haveyoucoughedmuchto-day?”

“Notquitesomuch,Ithink,ma’am.”

“Andthepaininyourchest?”

“Itisalittlebetter.”

MissTemplegotup,tookherhandandexaminedherpulse;thenshereturnedtoherownseat:assheresumedit,Iheardhersighlow.Shewaspensiveafewminutes,thenrousingherself,shesaidcheerfully-

“Butyoutwoaremyvisitorsto-night;Imusttreatyouassuch.”Sherangherbell.

“Barbara,”shesaidtotheservantwhoansweredit,“Ihavenotyethadtea;bringthetrayandplacecupsforthesetwoyoungladies.”

117

Andatraywassoonbrought.Howpretty,tomyeyes,didthechinacupsandbrightteapotlook,placedonthelittleroundtablenearthefire!Howfragrantwasthesteamofthebeverage,andthescentofthetoast!ofwhich,however,I,tomydismay(forIwasbeginningtobehungry)discernedonlyaverysmallportion:MissTemplediscernedittoo.

“Barbara,”saidshe,“canyounotbringalittlemorebreadandbutter?Thereisnotenoughforthree.”

Barbarawentout:shereturnedsoon-

“Madam,Mrs.Hardensaysshehassentuptheusualquantity.”

Mrs.Harden,beitobserved,wasthehousekeeper:awomanafterMr.Brocklehurst’sownheart,madeupofequalpartsofwhaleboneandiron.

“Oh,verywell!”returnedMissTemple;“wemustmakeitdo,Barbara,Isuppose.”Andasthegirlwithdrewsheadded,smiling,“Fortunately,Ihaveitinmypowertosupplydeficienciesforthisonce.”

HavinginvitedHelenandmetoapproachthetable,andplacedbeforeeachofusacupofteawithonedeliciousbutthinmorseloftoast,shegotup,unlockedadrawer,andtakingfromitaparcelwrappedinpaper,disclosedpresentlytooureyesagood-sizedseed-cake.

“Imeanttogiveeachofyousomeofthistotakewithyou,”saidshe,“butasthereissolittletoast,youmust

118

haveitnow,”andsheproceededtocutsliceswithageneroushand.

Wefeastedthateveningasonnectarandambrosia;andnottheleastdelightoftheentertainmentwasthesmileofgratificationwithwhichourhostessregardedus,aswesatisfiedourfamishedappetitesonthedelicatefaresheliberallysupplied.

Teaoverandthetrayremoved,sheagainsummonedustothefire;wesatoneoneachsideofher,andnowaconversationfollowedbetweenherandHelen,whichitwasindeedaprivilegetobeadmittedtohear.

MissTemplehadalwayssomethingofserenityinherair,ofstateinhermien,ofrefinedproprietyinherlanguage,whichprecludeddeviationintotheardent,theexcited,theeager:somethingwhichchastenedthepleasureofthosewholookedonherandlistenedtoher,byacontrollingsenseofawe;andsuchwasmyfeelingnow:butastoHelenBurns,Iwasstruckwithwonder.

Therefreshingmeal,thebrilliantfire,thepresenceandkindnessofherbelovedinstructress,or,perhaps,morethanallthese,somethinginherownuniquemind,hadrousedherpowerswithinher.Theywoke,theykindled:first,theyglowedinthebrighttintofhercheek,whichtillthishourIhadneverseenbutpaleandbloodless;thentheyshoneintheliquidlustreofhereyes,whichhadsuddenlyacquiredabeautymoresingularthanthatofMissTemple’s—abeautyneitheroffinecolournorlongeyelash,norpencilledbrow,butofmeaning,

119

ofmovement,ofradiance.Thenhersoulsatonherlips,andlanguageflowed,fromwhatsourceIcannottell.Hasagirloffourteenaheartlargeenough,vigorousenough,toholdtheswellingspringofpure,full,fervideloquence?SuchwasthecharacteristicofHelen’sdiscourseonthat,tome,memorableevening;herspiritseemedhasteningtolivewithinaverybriefspanasmuchasmanyliveduringaprotractedexistence.

TheyconversedofthingsIhadneverheardof;ofnationsandtimespast;ofcountriesfaraway;ofsecretsofnaturediscoveredorguessedat:theyspokeofbooks:howmanytheyhadread!Whatstoresofknowledgetheypossessed!ThentheyseemedsofamiliarwithFrenchnamesandFrenchauthors:butmyamazementreacheditsclimaxwhenMissTempleaskedHelenifshesometimessnatchedamomenttorecalltheLatinherfatherhadtaughther,andtakingabookfromashelf,badeherreadandconstrueapageofVirgil;andHelenobeyed,myorganofvenerationexpandingateverysoundingline.Shehadscarcelyfinishederethebellannouncedbedtime!nodelaycouldbeadmitted;MissTempleembracedusboth,saying,asshedrewustoherheart-

“Godblessyou,mychildren!”

Helensheheldalittlelongerthanme:shelethergomorereluctantly;itwasHelenhereyefollowedtothedoor;itwasforhersheasecondtimebreathedasadsigh;forhershewipedatearfromhercheek.

120

Onreachingthebedroom,weheardthevoiceofMissScatcherd:shewasexaminingdrawers;shehadjustpulledoutHelenBurns’s,andwhenweenteredHelenwasgreetedwithasharpreprimand,andtoldthatto-morrowsheshouldhavehalf-a-dozenofuntidilyfoldedarticlespinnedtohershoulder.

“Mythingswereindeedinshamefuldisorder,”murmuredHelentome,inalowvoice:“Iintendedtohavearrangedthem,butIforgot.”

Nextmorning,MissScatcherdwroteinconspicuouscharactersonapieceofpasteboardtheword“Slattern,”andbounditlikeaphylacteryroundHelen’slarge,mild,intelligent,andbenign-lookingforehead.Sheworeittillevening,patient,unresentful,regardingitasadeservedpunishment.ThemomentMissScatcherdwithdrewafterafternoonschool,IrantoHelen,toreitoff,andthrustitintothefire:thefuryofwhichshewasincapablehadbeenburninginmysoulallday,andtears,hotandlarge,hadcontinuallybeenscaldingmycheek;forthespectacleofhersadresignationgavemeanintolerablepainattheheart.

Aboutaweeksubsequentlytotheincidentsabovenarrated,MissTemple,whohadwrittentoMr.Lloyd,receivedhisanswer:itappearedthatwhathesaidwenttocorroboratemyaccount.MissTemple,havingassembledthewholeschool,announcedthatinquiryhadbeenmadeintothechargesallegedagainstJaneEyre,andthatshewasmosthappytobeabletopronouncehercompletelyclearedfromevery

121

imputation.Theteachersthenshookhandswithmeandkissedme,andam