讀后續(xù)寫之敘述與描寫-2025屆高三下學期英語二輪復習專項

讀后續(xù)寫中的“描寫”什么是描寫PARTONEDescriptionispaintingapictureinwordsofaperson,place,objectorscene.Adescriptionessayisgenerallydevelopedthroughsensorydetails,ortheimpressionsofone’ssenses--sight,hearing,taste,smellandtouch.描寫是通過對各種感官的細節(jié)描述來刻畫人、事與物。描寫≠敘述敘述只需要陳述事情的來龍去脈和前因后果。Whatisdescription?1.WhenHassanwascrying,Itriedmybesttocomforther.2.Later,inthedark,afterthemoviehadstarted,IheardHassannexttome,croaking.Tearswereslidingdownhercheeks.Ireachedacrossmyseat,slungmyarmaroundher,pulledherclose.識別描寫與敘述1.Hermoistenedeyesbetrayedherunconcernedposture.2.Shelostcontrolandthetearsbegantoflow.3.Withtearsstreamingdownherface,wordsfailedher.4.Shewouldcry,kickandlieonthefloordrummingwithtears.5.Shewascryingwhesheheardtheterriblenews.6.SherodetherestofthewayhomewearingaMonaLisaofpeaceandgrace.7.TheyroaredwithlaughterandHarrysettledbackinhisseat,grinningfromeartoear.8.AsIstanditback,ahugesmilespreadsacrossherface,whichlightsupmygloomyafternoon.9.Excitementtookmybreathawaywhenhebrokethenewstome.10.IwasveryangrywhenIgotthenews.識別描寫與敘述DDDDNDDDNTwentyyearsago,Idroveataxiforaliving.OnenightIwenttopickupapassengerat2:30a.m.WhenIarrivedtocollect,Ifoundthebuildingwasdarkexceptforasinglelightinagroundfloorwindow.Iwalkedtothedoorandknocked.“Justaminute,”answeredaweak,elderlyvoice.Afteralongtime,thedooropened.Asmallwomaninhereightiesstoodbeforeme.Byhersidewasasmallsuitcase.Itookthesuitcasetothecar,andthenreturnedtohelpthewoman.Shetookmyarmandwewalkedslowlytowardsthecar.Shekeptthankingmeformykindness.“It’snothing,”Itoldher.“IjusttrytotreatmypassengersthewayIwouldwantmymothertreated.”“Oh,you’resuchagoodman.”Shesaid.Whenwegotintothetaxi,shegavemeanaddress,andthenasked,“Couldyoudrivethroughdowntown?”“It’snottheshortestway,”Iansweredquickly.“Oh,I’minnohurry,”shesaid.“I’monmywaytoahospice(臨終醫(yī)院).Idon’thaveanyfamilyleft.ThedoctorsaysIdon’thaveverylongtime.”Iquietlyshutoffthemeter(計價器).Forthenexttwohours,wedrovethroughthecity.Sheshowedmethebuildingwhereshehadonceworked,theneighborhoodwhereshehadlived,andthefurnitureshopthathadoncebeenaballroomwhereshehadgonedancingasagirl.Sometimesshe’daskmetoslowdowninfrontofaparticularbuildingandwouldsitstaringintothedarkness,sayingnothing.Atdawn,shesuddenlysaid,“I’mtired.Let’sgonow.”Wedroveinsilencetotheaddressshehadgivenme.“HowmuchshallIgiveyou?”sheasked.“Nothing,”Isaid.“Youhavetomakealiving,”sheanswered.“Oh,thereareotherpassengers,”Ianswered.Shesaidthankstome,butshelookedsosad.注意：1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應為150左右；2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應位置作答。Almostwithoutthinking,Ibentandgaveherahug.Thenextday,Iwasonmywaytovisither.案例11.找出屬于描寫和敘述的句子Thenextday,Iwasonmywaytovisither.

①AndIcouldseetheparticularbuildingsshehadtoldmeandtooksomephotos.②AsIreachedthehospital,thedoctorinchargetoldmethatshewashealthyandrelaxedandwhereshewas.③WhenIwentintoherroom,Ifoundshewassleepinggently,soIputthephotosandfreshfruitsandflowersonherdesk.④Sayingnothing,Ileftanotewrittenmynumberandwentoutofthehospice.⑤ThenIkeptondrivingataxitomakealivingandspreadingmylovetoothers.全都是敘述該段落在故事的邏輯性、完整性和銜接程度上沒有問題。但是該段落有11個“流水”動作和4個場景的切換(路上，到醫(yī)院，去房間，離開)。快速的場景切換如走馬觀花。過多的動作分布于零散的時空之中，使得它們缺乏外在的連貫與內在的聯(lián)系，同時分散了對主要場景即在醫(yī)院房間和老人再次見面的刻畫，難以觸動人心。如何定位描寫PARTTWO1.樹立定位意識抓住文章主旨根據(jù)兩段首句找到兩個切入點(如人，物，地點),從兩個切入點出發(fā)分別選一個場景，有針對性地直指主旨對人、事、物展開充分描寫2.定位描寫策略根據(jù)主要人物動作定位(What)根據(jù)主要人物心情定位(Changesofemotions)敘述與描寫共進案例2Thenextday,Iwasonmywaytovisither.AndIcouldseetheparticularbuildingsshehadtoldmeandtooksomephotos.Hertwinklingeyesseemedblinkinginmymind,asmileliftingthecornerofmymouth.Carryingwithoverwhelmedexpectation,Ifinallyreachedherroom.Delightmorethansurprise,shewelcomedmewarmly,eventheairwasrefreshedwithhappiness.Undoubtedly,thosephotosaffordedusabrightafternoon.Sayingnothing,shereluctantlywavedgoodbyetome.1.文章主旨是什么？2.該段落的重心也就是切入點是？3.該段落的場景是？4.勾畫描寫句子5.這個段落的描寫如何？人與人間的關懷與愛我>老人定位在我到醫(yī)院-在醫(yī)院房間1.重心偏離2.描寫不生動形象，不太到位文章主線：主要人物+主要事件+事件發(fā)生場景(主旨)精準定位：定位場景是什么?

描寫重心是什么？

定位描寫策略根據(jù)主要人物動作定位(What)根據(jù)主要人物心情定位(Changesofemotions)定位描寫策略Iwentuptotheroofforabreakafterstudyingforanhourandwatchedthe50orsopeopleswimminginthenaturalrockpoolbelowourhouse.Itwasasunnyday—ablue,cloudlessskyoveracalmsea.Butthen,asIlookedinthedistance,Idiscoveredaseriesofthreeorfourbigwavesheadingtowardstheshore.I’dseenthesemini-tsunamis(海嘯)manytimesbefore.Theywereheadingatspeedinthedirectionofthepool.Mostpeopleknewtolookoutforthem,butfromthescreamsthatstartedcomingfromthebeach,Icouldtellsomeonewasintrouble.Withoutthinking,Irandownintothestreet,holdingmybodyboard(俯伏沖浪板)onthewayandshoutedatastrangertogoinsidemyhouseandcallthecoastguard.MyneighbourMoiseshadheardthescreamingaswellandwasalsooutsidewithhisbodyboard,sotogetherwerushedtothestepsthatleddowntothesea.Oncewegotcloser,wediscoveredthewaveshadpulledaboyandagirlfromthepoolandintotheopensea.Iknewthatthenearestboatwouldtakeatleast30minutestoreachus.Waitingforhelpwasn'tachoice.Iwasn'tusedtothissortofemergency—I'dneverbeentrainedasalifeguard一butIdidn'tthinktwiceabouttryingtosavethem.IsupposeinawayIwantedtoimpresseveryone;at19,adeallikethatca