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Unit 7 College LifeThe Commencement Speech Youll Never HearWe the faculty take no pride in our educational achievement with you. We have prepared you for a world that does not exist, indeed, that cannot exist. You have spent four years supposing that failure leaves no record. You have learned at Brown that when your work goes poorly, the painless solution is to drop out. But starting now, in the world to which you go, failure marks you. Confronting difficulty by quitting leaves you changed. Outside Brown, quitters are no heroes. With us you could argue about why your errors were not errors, why mediocre work really was excellent, why you could take pride in routine and slipshod presentation. Most of you, after all, can look back on honor grades for most of what you have done. So, here grades can have meant little in distinguishing the excellent from the ordinary. But tomorrow, in the world to which you go, you had better not defend errors but learn from them. You will be ill-advised to demand praise for what does not deserve it, and abuse those who do not give it. For years we created an altogether forgiving world, in which whatever slight effort you gave was all that was demanded. When you did not keep appointments, we made new ones. When your work came in beyond the deadline, we pretended not to care. Worse still, when you were boring, we acted as if you were saying something important. When you were garrulous and talked to hear yourselves talk, we listened as if it mattered. When you tossed on our desks writing upon which you had not labored, we read it and even responded, as though you earned a response. When you were dull, we pretended you were smart. When you were predictable, unimaginative and routine, we listened as if to new and wonderful things. When you demanded free lunch, we served it. And all this why? Despite your fantasies, it was not even that we wanted to be liked by you. It was that we did not want to be bothered, and the easy way out was pretense: smiles and easy Bs. It is conventional to quote in addresses such as these. Let me quote someone youve never heard of: Professor Carter A. Daniel, Rutgers University: College has spoiled you by reading papers that dont deserve to be read, listening to comments that dont deserve a hearing, paying attention even to the lazy, ill-informed and rude. We had to do it, for the sake of education. But nobody will ever do it again. College has deprived you of adequate preparation for the last 50 years. It has failed you by being easy, free, forgiving, attentive, comfortable, interesting, unchallenging fun. Good luck tomorrow. That is why, on this commencement day, we have nothing in which to take much pride. Oh, yes, there is one more thing. Try not to act toward your co-workers and bosses as you have acted toward us. I mean, when they give you what you want but have not earned, dont abuse them, insult them, act out with them your parlous relationships with your parents. This too we have tolerated. It was, as I said, not to be liked. Few professors actually care whether or not they are liked by peer-paralyzed adolescents, fools so shallow as to imagine professors care not about education but about popularity. It was, again, to be rid of you. So go, unlearn the lies we taught you. To life! 你將永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)聽(tīng)到的畢業(yè)演講1 我們這些教師對(duì)于在你們身上取得的教育成就一點(diǎn)都不感到自豪。我們培養(yǎng)你們?nèi)ミm應(yīng)的是一個(gè)根本不存在的世界事實(shí)上也是不可能存在的。在這里度過(guò)的四年時(shí)間里,你們一直以為失敗是不會(huì)留下任何記錄的。要是學(xué)得不好,一個(gè)最省事的辦法就是中途退出(不修這門課),在布朗大學(xué)你們學(xué)會(huì)了這一點(diǎn)。但是,從現(xiàn)在開(kāi)始,在你們要涉足的世界里,失敗是要給你留下疤痕的。知難而退也會(huì)使你變成另一個(gè)人。走出布朗,知難而退的人絕不是英雄。2 你們可以跟我們爭(zhēng)辯,說(shuō)服我們?yōu)槭裁茨銈兊腻e(cuò)誤不是錯(cuò)誤,為什么平庸的作業(yè)是優(yōu)秀的,為什么你們會(huì)對(duì)普普通通并不出色的課堂報(bào)告感到驕傲?;叵胍幌?,畢竟你們中的大多數(shù)人在你們所學(xué)的大部分課程中都得了高分。因此,在這里分?jǐn)?shù)并不能作為區(qū)分優(yōu)秀學(xué)生與學(xué)業(yè)平平的學(xué)生的依據(jù)。但是,今后,在你們所要去的世界里,你們最好不要為自己的錯(cuò)誤辯護(hù),而應(yīng)該從中吸取教訓(xùn)。假如你們要求得到你們不該得到的表?yè)P(yáng),詆毀那些不給你們表?yè)P(yáng)的人,這是不明智的做法。3 多年來(lái),我們創(chuàng)造了一個(gè)完全寬容的世界。這里所要求于你們的僅僅是一點(diǎn)微不足道的努力。當(dāng)你們沒(méi)有按約定的時(shí)間赴約時(shí),我們就再約時(shí)間。當(dāng)你們沒(méi)有按期交作業(yè)時(shí),我們裝作不在乎。4 更糟糕的是,當(dāng)你們的言談枯燥無(wú)味時(shí),我們卻裝作你們說(shuō)的是重要的事情;當(dāng)你們喋喋不休、不知所云時(shí),我們認(rèn)真傾聽(tīng),似乎你們說(shuō)的東西事關(guān)重大;當(dāng)你們把根本沒(méi)有花心思寫的作業(yè)扔到我們桌上時(shí),我們不僅拜讀,甚至批改給評(píng)語(yǔ),好像值得為你們這樣做似的。當(dāng)你們犯傻時(shí),我們裝作你們聰明過(guò)人;當(dāng)你們老生常談、毫無(wú)想象力、平平淡淡時(shí),我們卻裝作像在聽(tīng)什么美妙絕倫的新鮮事情一樣;當(dāng)你們要不勞而獲時(shí),我們拱手奉上。所有這一切究竟是為了什么?5 對(duì)這一切盡管你們可以想入非非,但我們決不是因?yàn)橄胍懩銈兊臍g心,而是因?yàn)槲覀儾幌胱屇銈儊?lái)啰唆。一個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單的辦法就是作假:微笑,讓你們輕輕松松都得B。6 在這一類的演說(shuō)中人們往往習(xí)慣于引用,在此讓我來(lái)引用一個(gè)你們從來(lái)沒(méi)有聽(tīng)說(shuō)過(guò)的人的話,這個(gè)人是拉特格斯大學(xué)的卡特A.丹尼爾教授。7 他說(shuō):“大學(xué)毀了你們,讓你們閱讀那些不值得一讀的論文,聽(tīng)那些不值得一聽(tīng)的評(píng)論,甚至要去尊重那些無(wú)所事事、孤陋寡聞、極不文明的人。為了教育,我們過(guò)去不得不這樣做,但是今后不會(huì)有人再這樣做了。在過(guò)去的50年中,大學(xué)使你們喪失了得到充分培養(yǎng)的機(jī)會(huì)。由于大學(xué)成了一個(gè)輕松、自由、包容、體貼、舒適、充滿樂(lè)趣、好玩的地方,它沒(méi)有對(duì)你們盡到責(zé)任。但愿你們今后好運(yùn)?!? 這就是為什么,在今天進(jìn)行畢業(yè)典禮之際,我們沒(méi)有任何可引以自豪的東西。9 哦,對(duì)了,還有一點(diǎn)。盡量不要像對(duì)待我們那樣去對(duì)待你們的同事和老板。我的意思是,當(dāng)他們把你們想要但不是你們應(yīng)得的東西給了你們時(shí),要善待他們,不要侮辱他們,不要在他們身上重演你們與父母之間的那種糟糕的關(guān)系。這一切,我們也都忍受了。正如我剛才所說(shuō)的,這不是為了討你們的歡心。有一些年輕人只能在同齡人的眼中找到自我,是一些愚昧無(wú)知的人,竟然膚淺到以為教授們關(guān)心的不是教育,而是自己的人緣。實(shí)際上,很少有教授在乎這類年輕人是否喜歡他們。我們?nèi)萑踢@一切,只是為了擺脫你們。摒棄我們?cè)诮虒W(xué)中給你們?cè)斐傻倪@些假象,投身到真實(shí)的生活中去吧。Those College FinalsI was sitting around downtown the other night. The wind was blowing; the temperature was frigid; the atmosphere was depressing. I knew that the combination of these things reminded me of something, and soon enough I realized what that something was. Final exams. The most miserable moments of a college students life come during final exam week during the winter. It is a horror that stays with a person for the rest of his life: the desperation, the frustration, the realization that one has to cough up mounds of knowledge that one does not even possess. And that ones future career may depend on how well one does the coughing. I checked the calendar. Sure enough, it was just about time for the end of the term at Northwestern University, just up the road from me. I knew that thousands of students were up there at that very moment, bending over textbooks and notes and trying against all odds to memorize arcane facts and figures that they really cared nothing about. I couldnt help myself. I headed for the campus. In the first building where I stopped, a light was burning brightly in a classroom. I walked in; two young men had papers spread all over the room. Class was not in session; the two were alone. Hi, fellows, I said. They looked up. Their eyes were filled with pain. They appeared to have gone without sleep for three or four days. Whats up, guys? I said. Please leave us alone, one of them said softly. Leave you alone? I said. Finals, the other one gasped. I walked out of the room and began a leisurely stroll around campus. Men and women looked as if they were about to sob as they staggered toward the library. They muttered to themselves. They lifted their eyes in silent prayer. They walked into trees, steadied their bodies, and kept walking. I felt great. I had been one of them, and now I wasnt. There probably is no feeling in this world more exhilarating than being on a college campus during final exams, and knowing that you dont have to take them. I spent most of the evening wandering from building to building, watching the students get ready for the next days finals. It was all so familiar. They gathered around long tables, spiral-bound notebooks open, and they shot questions at one another. There were lengthy periods of silence, and then a series of tentative answers. Cursing was common. Moans broke out. They stomped on the floor, and gazed out the window, and seemed to be ready to weep. Once in a while they glanced over at me. Under normal circumstances they probably would have been curious about my presence, but on this night their eyes were so glazed over that they couldnt even think straight. I just read the sports section and winked at them. If I would have been in a charitable mood, I would have told them one of the great secrets of the real world. It is a secret that all of us who have been to college learned only after we got out; a secret that, if college students knew it, would ease their minds and make them calm. The secret is this: There are no final exams in real life. Its true. In the real world, you dont have to know anything. There are no cases in which you have to sit down in a crowded room, scrunch your eyes up in concentration and regurgitate obscure and ridiculous facts from memory. In real life, you get to bring the book along. Believe it, college students: Real life is an open-book test. If youve forgotten something, you get to go look it up, or ask someone whos smarter than you. Its easy; much easier than college. The only place youll ever encounter something as bizarre and frightening as a final exam is at college. The college administrators fool the students by making them believe that final exams are only a mild precursor of what is going to happen every day in the big, mean world. But its not true. If the real world were as bizarre and rotten as final exams, youd see everyone on the street walking around in the same demented, pathetic state as college students during exam week. No, its all downhill after college finals. Real life is a coast, a glide. No one is ever going to ask you to compare and contrast the works of the Elizabethan authors no one is ever going to demand that you trace the battles of the Boer War. If someone did come up to you at work and ask you something like that, hed soon be locked up in an institution somewhere. I could have told the students that. I could have soothed their minds and made things simple for them. I could have asked them to join me for a beer and forget about finals week. Look at the top executives of the Fortune 500 companies, I could have told them. Do you think anyone would ever dare ask them how they did on their college final exams? I could have filled the students mind with comforting thoughts like that. But I didnt. And why should I have? I went through finals many times; finals made me crazy, and now it was time for these students to be made crazy. I watched them in their despair, and I smiled the smile of the truly contented. I stayed on campus until nearly midnight, and then I wandered off. On a path between some classroom buildings, something tumbled across the sidewalk, blowing in the wind. I knelt to pick it up. It was a blue book, the dreadful, chilling symbol of finals week. A blue book that some poor student had carried out of his exam and then discarded on the ground. I stuck it in my pocket and laughed a mechanical laugh. The lights still glowed in the campus building, as they would all night, but I got to go home. 大學(xué)期末考試1那天晚上,我在市中心附近閑坐。風(fēng)在呼嘯,氣溫很低,這氣氛讓人感到壓抑。我知道,所有這一切讓我想起了什么,很快我就明白是什么了:期末考試。2大學(xué)生活最痛苦的時(shí)刻莫過(guò)于冬天期末考試那一周。這種恐懼刻骨銘心,一生都忘不了是一種絕望、沮喪,是意識(shí)到自己不得不勉強(qiáng)應(yīng)答一大堆并未掌握的知識(shí),而且一個(gè)人的前途如何,就取決于這種勉強(qiáng)的應(yīng)答。3我查了一下日歷。果然,西北大學(xué)現(xiàn)在正好是學(xué)期快結(jié)束的時(shí)候沿著我面前這條路走過(guò)去就是西北大學(xué)。我知道,就在此刻,就在那里,成千上萬(wàn)的大學(xué)生正埋頭于課本和筆記,使出渾身解數(shù)去背那些晦澀難解的事實(shí)和數(shù)字,其實(shí)這些東西跟他們毫無(wú)關(guān)系。我按捺不住,徑直朝校園走去。在我停下來(lái)的第一棟樓里,有一問(wèn)教室燈火通明。我走了進(jìn)去。兩個(gè)年輕人將資料攤得滿屋子都是。這會(huì)兒沒(méi)課,只有他們倆?!昂?,伙計(jì),”我說(shuō)。他們抬起頭,滿眼的痛苦。他們看上去好像三四天沒(méi)睡覺(jué)似的。4“怎么了,年輕人?”我問(wèn)。5“請(qǐng)別打擾我們,”其中一個(gè)輕聲道。6“別打擾你們?”我問(wèn)。7“期末考試了,”另一人喘著粗氣說(shuō)。8我走出教室,開(kāi)始在校園里悠閑地溜達(dá)。男生女生個(gè)個(gè)神情沮喪,搖搖晃晃地朝圖書館走去。他們有的自言自語(yǔ),有的抬頭默默祈禱,有的走進(jìn)樹林,站穩(wěn)身子,然后繼續(xù)往前走。我感覺(jué)好極了。我曾經(jīng)是他們中的一員,但現(xiàn)在我不是了。也許,在這世上,期末考試時(shí),置身大學(xué)校園而知道你不必參加考試,可能是世界上最令人興奮的事了。9那晚大部分時(shí)問(wèn),我從一棟教學(xué)樓逛到另一棟教學(xué)樓,看著學(xué)生們?yōu)榈诙斓目荚囎鰷?zhǔn)備。這一切是那么熟悉。他們圍坐在長(zhǎng)桌周圍,前面攤開(kāi)用螺旋線穿起來(lái)的筆記簿,連珠炮似地互相發(fā)問(wèn)。一次次良久的沉默,接著是試探性地回答。咒罵聲不絕于耳,時(shí)不時(shí)夾雜著哀嘆。他們跺腳,凝視窗外,仿佛隨時(shí)會(huì)哭出來(lái)。他們偶爾也朝我瞥一眼。在平時(shí),他們可能會(huì)對(duì)我的出現(xiàn)感到好奇,但是,那天晚上,他們的目光呆滯無(wú)神,思維也不清晰了。我翻閱著體育版的消息,朝他們眨眨眼。10如果我當(dāng)時(shí)善心大發(fā),我就會(huì)告訴他們現(xiàn)實(shí)世界中一個(gè)最大的秘密。這是我們所有上過(guò)大學(xué)的人走出校園后才領(lǐng)悟到的秘密,如果讓大學(xué)生領(lǐng)悟了這個(gè)秘密,他們就會(huì)輕松、平靜。這就是:現(xiàn)實(shí)生活中沒(méi)有期末考試。11確實(shí)如此。在現(xiàn)實(shí)生活中,你不必了解任何事情。沒(méi)有任何情況需要你坐在擁擠不堪的教室里,為集中注意力而瞇起眼睛,或者一字不漏地背出晦澀、荒唐的具體事實(shí)。在現(xiàn)實(shí)生活中,你可以把書帶上。同學(xué)們,請(qǐng)相信:現(xiàn)實(shí)生活是開(kāi)卷考,如果你忘了什么,你可以去查閱,或者請(qǐng)教比你聰明的人。很容易,比在大學(xué)里容易多了。12只有在大學(xué)里,你才會(huì)遇上像期末考試那樣稀奇古怪、令人恐懼的事情。大學(xué)管理者們欺騙學(xué)生們,讓他們相信與龐大的殘酷無(wú)情的世界里每天所發(fā)生的事情相比,期末考試不過(guò)是溫和的前驅(qū)。但這并不是事實(shí)。如果現(xiàn)實(shí)世界確如期末考試那樣荒誕可笑、令人厭煩,你就會(huì)看到街上的每位行人都如同在考試那周里的學(xué)生一樣焦躁不安、可憐之極?,F(xiàn)實(shí)并非如此,熬過(guò)了大學(xué)的期末考試后,一切如履平地?,F(xiàn)實(shí)生活如同靠慣性滑行。沒(méi)有人會(huì)要求你說(shuō)出伊麗莎白時(shí)期作品的異同,或者強(qiáng)令你描述布爾戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)各大戰(zhàn)役的來(lái)龍去脈。如果在你工作時(shí)真有人過(guò)來(lái)問(wèn)你這類問(wèn)題,那么他就會(huì)馬上被關(guān)進(jìn)某所精神病院。13我本來(lái)可以將這些告訴學(xué)生們,我本來(lái)可以安慰他們,讓事情變得簡(jiǎn)單些。我本來(lái)可以請(qǐng)他們和我一起喝杯啤酒,忘了這期末考試周。我本來(lái)可以告訴他們:看看(財(cái)富前500強(qiáng)企業(yè)的總經(jīng)理。你想會(huì)有人膽敢問(wèn)他們的期末考試成績(jī)嗎?我本來(lái)可以灌輸給他們這類令人寬慰的想法。14但是我沒(méi)有。我為什么要告訴他們呢?我經(jīng)歷了許多次期末考試,期末考試讓我?guī)缀醢l(fā)瘋,現(xiàn)在該輪到他們發(fā)瘋了。我看著絕望中的他們,像一個(gè)真正心滿意足的人那樣笑了。我在校園里幾乎呆到午夜,然后才悠閑地離開(kāi)。在幾棟教學(xué)樓之間的小徑上,我看見(jiàn)有什么東西被風(fēng)吹動(dòng),在人行道上翻滾,我跪下將它拾了起來(lái)。這是一本藍(lán)皮答題冊(cè),是期末考試周恐怖的、令人心驚膽戰(zhàn)的標(biāo)志。這一定是某個(gè)可憐的學(xué)生帶出考場(chǎng)后,丟在地上的。我把它插入口袋,機(jī)械地笑了笑。校園教學(xué)樓里的燈光依然閃爍著,而且會(huì)整夜這樣,但是我得回家了。Fall from University GraceJust as Adam was east out of Eden, I was kicked out of university; but while his transgression was eating the fruit from the tree of knowledge, my sin was ignoring the tree. After my dismal performance in my first year of university, I contemplated the reasons for my failure. Now, I understand the two factors that contributed to my downfall: the lack of a career goal and premature independence. Without a career goal, I lacked direction and motivation. About halfway through my final year of high school, I was hounded by my parents to enroll in university, but until that time I had not given any thought to what career I wanted to pursue. To silence their nagging, I told them I wanted to be an engineer. Though I got high marks in math, physics, and chemistry, I was bored with them, and my dislike of the sciences became apparent in the first four months of university. I failed all my science courses. Had I been more motivated, I might have passed those courses, but I just wasnt ready for university. In fact, I wasnt ready for any career. I assumed that the amount of studying I did in high schoolan hour per daywould be sufficient to attain respectable marks in university. I was wrong. Because I could not see myself as an engineer, I could not motivate myself to study harder; then I began looking for excuses to avoid studying. Even when I was reading my textbooks, I wasnt studying. Daydreams of sleeping on a patch of cool grass on a breezy summer day intruded upon my concentration, chasing away calculus and physics theories. By the time the daydreams ended, I had forgotten most of what I had studied in the previous hour. As the midterm week drew closer, the daydreams grew longer while the study sessions grew shorter. Studying was avoidable as long as daydreaming was possible. I escaped often and as a result I failed my math, chemistry and physics exams. Why didnt I transfer to another program? Why didnt I just drop out? First, my parents had paid for my tuition and I feared they would pull out their financial support and leave me destitute. Second, my aspirations were still cloudy, so if I transferred out of the engineering faculty I would still lack direction. Without a definite goal, afraid of disappointing my strict parents, I remained in the program until Christmas, hopeful that my marks would improve as well as my disposition towards engineering. However, passing grades eluded me, as did maturity. Coming from a small town and being unaccustomed to the fast-paced routine of campus life in a big city like Calgary, I inhabited the residence hall, believing that it would shelter me from competitive courses and merciless engineering professors. After the first month of adjustment, I learned that the place offered the niceties of home without the watchful eye of parents. Snow fell in mid-Decemberfinal exam timebut I didnt notice either event, because I had become a creature of the night preying on full beer mugs in smoke-filled bars. A week later, snow covered every building on campus, which promised a white Christmas for everyone but me: my exams had been returned and I had failed all my courses. I didnt care; neither did my friends, whose marks were equally bad. We bragged of our freedom from our parents, not realizing that their influence was more beneficial than the influence we had on each other. When my friends and I were not in the bar, we were playing cards in somebodys room or inviting ourselves to parties held by other students in the residence hall. At the time, my independence was exhilarating; freedom, denied me for eighteen years, was mine to experience and abuse. I got drunk with impunity. No angry mother awaited my return home at five in the morning. No enraged father tongue-lashed me for lousy grades. But freedom had its price: nobody told me to study harder; no one said that if I didnt get an eighty on my next three exams, I would fail; no one told me to take responsibility for my actions. When Christmas day arrived, I found a withdrawal from university notice in my stocking. My refusal to claim responsibility for my actions and my abuse of newly gained independence and freedom from parental rule had combined to ensure my marks were below the passing grade and to make my Christmas black. Unearned independence was the fruit from the tree of knowledge that tempted me and caused my downfall. Because I was not mature enough to accept the responsibility for my
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