最新C10 Test 1 task 2 考官范文解析.docx

C10 Test 1It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children? One important stage in a childs growth is certainly the development of a conscience, which is linked to the ability to tell right from wrong. This skill comes with time and good parenting, and my firm conviction is that punishment does not have much of a role to play in this. Therefore I have to disagree almost entirely with the given statement. To some extent the question depends on the age of the child. To punish a very young child is both wrong and foolish, as an infant will not understand what is happening or why he or she is being punished. Once the age of reason is reached however, a child can be rewarded for good behavior and discouraged from bad. This kind but firm approach will achieve more than harsh punishments, which might entail many negative consequences unintended by the parents. To help a child learn the difference between right and wrong, teachers and parents should firstly provide good role modeling in their own behavior. After that, if sanctions are needed, the punishment should not be of a physical nature, as that merely sends the message that it is acceptable for larger people to hit smaller ones - an outcome which may well result in the child starting to bully others. Nor should the punishment be in any way cruel. Rather, teachers and parents can use a variety of methods to discipline their young charges, such as detention, withdrawal of privileges, and time-out. Making the punishment fit the crime is a useful notion, which would see children being made to pick up rubbish they have dropped, clean up graffiti they have drawn, or apologize to someone they have hurt. In these ways responsibility is developed in the child, which leads to much better future behavior than does punishment.Band：8.5分析：這個(gè)作文題目的難度較大，主要因?yàn)樵掝}本身具有難度，同時(shí)討論這個(gè)話題也需要較大的詞匯儲(chǔ)備。審題：這是一個(gè)discussion類作文，題目要求我們論證，是否應(yīng)該使用懲罰的方式來教會(huì)孩子們辨別是非，并提出合適的懲罰方式。一般說來，我們會(huì)認(rèn)為，不應(yīng)該用體罰的方式，但當(dāng)孩子犯錯(cuò)時(shí)，適當(dāng)?shù)膽土P是必要的。因此，我們需要論證清楚“為什么不應(yīng)該用體罰的方式”，同時(shí)還要提出一些適當(dāng)?shù)膽土P方式。這是這個(gè)題目必須解決的兩個(gè)問題。思路：那么，怎么論證“不應(yīng)該用體罰的方式”？自然地，我們會(huì)想到，體罰的方式不能實(shí)現(xiàn)教會(huì)孩子辨別是非，反而可能有害處。那么，為什么體罰的效果不好，有什么害處？本范文的論證思路是這樣的：第二段從年齡的角度來說，太小的孩子根本不理解為什么被體罰，而孩子一旦長大，更好的方式又是以正面獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)的方式，因此，無論孩子的年齡大小，體罰都不是好的方式。第三段首先從正面提出，父母應(yīng)該給孩子樹立正面榜樣，如果體罰，孩子們會(huì)錯(cuò)誤地認(rèn)為可以打人，于是在學(xué)校就會(huì)去欺負(fù)別的學(xué)生。這段就說清楚了體罰的壞處。【唐老雅認(rèn)為，本范文從年齡的角度來論證體罰為什么不合適，是很聰明的做法，但其實(shí)并不算真正convincing，因?yàn)橐撟C體罰為什么不好，應(yīng)該從體罰本身的壞處出發(fā)，比如體罰可能傷害孩子，體罰可能給孩子留下心理創(chuàng)傷，體罰可能教會(huì)孩子為暴力行為尋找理由，這些都不利于孩子成長為對社會(huì)有用的人。這樣寫雖然看起來更符合題意，但操作起來更難。而將孩子按照年齡來分，并分別說明體罰不合適，相對來說簡單得多，容易寫得清楚。因此，寫作是一個(gè)選擇行為，沒有要求必須寫什么，因此我們可以選擇寫那些與主題相關(guān)，同時(shí)又比較好表達(dá)的內(nèi)容?！孔詈笠欢翁岢龊线m的懲罰方式，范文使用了舉例的手法【比如讓孩子撿垃圾，清理雜物，道歉等】。但在最后一句進(jìn)行了升華【唐老雅認(rèn)為，高分作文的結(jié)尾必須要有升華，僅僅總結(jié)顯得很單薄】：為了讓孩子未來對社會(huì)更有用，培養(yǎng)孩子的責(zé)任心比體罰更重要。這樣既讓話題從新回到體罰，又不是簡單地總結(jié)，而是升華到了“培養(yǎng)孩子責(zé)任心”。語言：用詞幅度大，豐富，句型變化多端，復(fù)雜句正確而合適。比如，development of a conscience; my firm conviction is that.;(harsh punishments) might entail many negative consequences.; sanctions, etc.長句：（1）After that, if sanctions are needed, the punishment should not be of a physical nature, as that merely sends the message that it is acceptable for larger people to hit smaller ones - an outcome which may well result in the child starting to bully others. （2）Making the punishment fit the crime is a useful notion, which would see children being made to pick up rubbish they have dropped, clean