讀后續(xù)寫：斷臂Chris的成長(zhǎng)講義-2023屆高三英語二輪復(fù)習(xí)

讀后續(xù)寫：斷臂Chris的成長(zhǎng)Iwasa20-year-oldnursingstudentin1968,assignedasChris'spost-operativenurse.Chriswasaneight-year-oldboyfilledwithenergy,whoexcelledineverysportheplayed.Disobeyinghisparents'words,heexploredaneighbor'sconstructionsite,climbedaladder,andfell,whichgothimabrokenarmthatlaterhadtobecutoff.Thefirstfewdayspassedquickly.IprovidedChris'sphysicalcarewithforcedcheerfulness.Ashisneedformedicationdecreased,hislevelofawarenessincreased,asdidhismoodiness.WhenIsawhowalertheseemedashewatchedmebringinthingsforaspongebath,Iofferedhimthetowelandsuggestedhetakeover.Hewashedhisfaceandneck,thenquit.Ifinished.Thenextday,Iinsistedonhisdoingwholebathbyhimself.Hewasmorethanhalfwaythroughwhenhesatdownandsaid,"Ican'tmakeit!”“Youwon'tbeinthehospitalmuchlonger/91saidgently."Youneedtolearntotakecareofyourself.”“Well,Ican't,"hefrowned."HowcanIdoanythingwithjustonehand?"Puttingonmybrightestface,Isearchedforasilverlininginmymind.FinallyIsaid,"Sureyoucandoit,Chris.Atleastyouhaveyourrighthand.”Heturnedhisfaceawayandmuttered,"Tmleft-handed.AtleastIusedtobe.”Suddenly,Ifeltashamed.HowcouldIhavetakenright-handednessforgranted?ItseemedheandIbothhadalottolearn.Thenextmorning,IgreetedChriswithabigsmileandarubberband.Helookedatmesuspiciously.Iputmyrighthandbehindmybackandkeptittherebywindingtherubberbandaroundmyuniformbuttons."You'releft-handedandI'mright-handed/91said,"EverytimeIaskyoutodosomethingwithyourrighthand,Iwilldoitfirst,withmylefthand.AndIpromisenottopracticebeforeIseeyou.”注意：.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150詞左右；.請(qǐng)按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。Para.1:1startedfrombrushingteeth.Para.2:Tenminuteslater,Iultimatelysucceeded.01文章審題文章的審題要遵循記敘文的五大要素，通過閱讀我們可以清楚如下內(nèi)容：Who:I,a20-year-oldnursingstudent,isapost-operativenurseforChris.Chris,ancight-ycar-oldboy,withabrokenarmcutoff,neededtoliveindependentlywiththeonlyrighthand.When:inthe1960sWhere:inthehospitalWhat:IwantedtoteachChristotakecareofhimselfonhisown,buthewasunconfidentindoingso.How:Startingbybrushingteeth,thenmademoreprogressinlivingnormallywithonlyonearm.02文章的情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)先確定Theme：文章的情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)指的是在前面文章充分閱讀的基礎(chǔ)上，對(duì)后面的兩段做出合理恰當(dāng)?shù)那楣?jié)安排，特別是要注意這兩段的首尾句。在這個(gè)過程中，我們要先定好文章的主旨，這是續(xù)寫第二段的最后一句的設(shè)計(jì)。與通常寫的溫情系列相比，這篇文章是成長(zhǎng)類的，但卻又和典型的成長(zhǎng)類的略有不同。例如，在“滑冰女孩”的成長(zhǎng)故事中，突出了勇氣和堅(jiān)持，這樣的話，大家遷移溫情系列中的主旨升華句沒有問題。但本篇并非是典型的成長(zhǎng)類讀后續(xù)寫，它的主要矛盾是Chris原來不會(huì)使用右手，所以矛盾的解決一定是他的改變，他能自己照顧自己。所以，大家在結(jié)尾中生硬的搬套“Itisloveandkindnessthatmaketheworldgoaround.”是不恰當(dāng)?shù)摹Ｔ谶@種情況下，我們需要使用其它方式結(jié)尾，比如環(huán)境描寫，對(duì)話或者簡(jiǎn)簡(jiǎn)單單，Chris自身的成長(zhǎng)和改變，都是非常恰當(dāng)?shù)摹Ｔ僭O(shè)計(jì)Plot:.回看原文最后部分。基于主旨，我們進(jìn)行續(xù)寫兩段的情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)。這時(shí)候，大家需要再次回看原文的最后一段或者最后一部分的內(nèi)容，這是續(xù)寫的起點(diǎn)?！癥ou，releft-handedandVmright-handedJIsaid,“EverytimeIaskyoutodosomethingwithyourrighthand,Iwilldoitfirst,withmylefthand.AndIpromisenottopracticebeforeTseeyou/5通過仔細(xì)閱讀這一部分內(nèi)容，我們可以看出，“我”要用左手先做，而Chris則要用右手跟著做。也就是說，"Iwilldofirst.Chriswillfollowlater.v“我”說的最后一句話，UIpromisenottopracticebeforeIseeyou.暗示出，我用不熟悉的左手也并不是一切順利的。以上內(nèi)容都為下面的兩段規(guī)定了要寫的內(nèi)容。.仔細(xì)閱讀兩段的已給句。續(xù)寫第一段，UIstartedfrombrushingteeth.v這句話暗示，接下來要“Itriedtobrushmyteethclumsily,butIfinallymadesomeprogress.v具體描寫以下三個(gè)方面，審題時(shí)要用關(guān)鍵詞列要點(diǎn)。第一步，列要點(diǎn)。WhatdidIdo?Problems/difficultiesMyprogress第二步，拓內(nèi)容?！拔摇钡膭?dòng)作(關(guān)鍵句1)：First,Ilaidthebrushonthetable,heldthebrushpastewithmylefthand,thenopeneditwithmyteeth.FeelingChris9seyesfixedonmy,Ismiled,"Look!It'snotthattough!”"我"的困難：squeezedthetoothpasteclumsily;movedmyhandawkwardly;evenbrushed/hitmynose/cheekHowever,whenItriedtomovemylefthand,itseemedasifitwerenotpartofmybody.Itwasn'tlongbeforemypalmgotsweatyandmyleftarmwasached.“我”的心情：Awaveofembarrassmentfloodedoverme.Soembarrassed/awkwardwasIthatIfeltmyfaceburning.Embarrassed,Ifeltbloodrushingtomyface.AninnervoicetoldmethatIhadtopersist,togiveChrisarayofhope.Chris的反應(yīng)和心情：Lookingatmyawkwardaction,heturnedhisfaceandmutteredagain,“Yousee,itisimpossiblewithonlyonehandleft.”Chrisdraggedhisfeettome,withwateryeyes.AlthoughChrisbithisliptorestrainthelaughter,hiseyesbetrayedhim.Glancingatmyawkwardandfunnyactions,Chriscouldn'thelplaughing.“我”的進(jìn)展(關(guān)鍵句2)：Hardasitwas,Iinsistedonpracticingwithmyrighthand.ClumsythoughIwasatfirst,Igraduallylearnedtocontrolthemovementofmylefthand.Afewminuteslater,Igotusedtousingmylefthand.續(xù)寫第二段，“Tenminuteslater,Iultimatelysucceeded."首先，這句話暗示,十分鐘的時(shí)間，而且是使用不熟悉的左手，我應(yīng)該僅僅做了刷牙一件事，做不了刷牙、洗臉甚至洗澡這么多，這句話再次規(guī)定了第一段的內(nèi)容。第二，根據(jù)原文的結(jié)尾部分，“我”做完之后，應(yīng)該是Chris照做了，所以這段內(nèi)容以寫Chris為主，要寫他開始學(xué)習(xí)使用右手，并產(chǎn)生了變化，即“Chrismanagedtobrushteethonhisown,andlaterhelearnedhowtotakecareofhimself.v所以這段的設(shè)計(jì)如下:第一步，列要點(diǎn)。WhatdidChrisdo?ChangesTheme其中，根據(jù)上文的主旨分析，此處主題的凸顯最好不要用溫情系列中的主旨句，改用環(huán)境描寫，對(duì)話描寫或者情節(jié)的完整結(jié)束。第二步，拓內(nèi)容。關(guān)鍵句3+Chris的反應(yīng)：“Chris,haveatry!”Iencouragedhim."Well,allright!”Herespondedandadded,UIwilldobetterthanyou!”ThenIaskedChristodothesame.Withouthesitation,hegrabbedthetoothbrushandbegan.Atfirst,hestruggledaswell.Butthankstohissportstalent,heeventuallydidbetterthanme.Wavingmybrushproudly,Iencouragedhimtohaveatry.Chris的變化：Afterthatday,Ikeptdoingthingsusingmylefthand,andChriscopiedmewithhisrighthand.Ourtrainingwenton.Chriseagerlyparticipatedandfinallyhewasabletotookaspongebathonhisown.Touchedbymywords,henoddedfirmly,eyessparklingwiththelightofhope.Frombrushingteethtohavingspongebath,Chrissucceededintakingcareofhimself.結(jié)尾（關(guān)鍵句4）：對(duì)話結(jié)尾：Holdinghislittlehand,Iadded,"Althoughtheproblemsaretough,Ibelieveyouwillbetougher/9Beforehewasdischargedfromhospital,herantomeandhuggedmetightly,murmuring,“Butforyourhelp,Iwouldn'thaveturnedanewleafinmylife."心理描寫結(jié)尾：Itsuddenlyhitmethatallmyeffortswerewor