英語寫作優(yōu)化句子的常用方法分析課件

基礎(chǔ)寫作訓(xùn)練優(yōu)化句子的常用方法一、同位語手段三、運(yùn)用并列句二、運(yùn)用短語四、運(yùn)用復(fù)合句基礎(chǔ)寫作訓(xùn)練優(yōu)化句子的常用方法一、同位語手段三、運(yùn)用并列句二12008年廣東高考題

你很榮幸地成為2008北京奧運(yùn)會的一名志愿者，負(fù)責(zé)編寫奧運(yùn)比賽項(xiàng)目的英語介紹?！緦懽鲀?nèi)容】請根據(jù)以下中文提綱，編寫射擊項(xiàng)目的英語介紹：背景：射擊最初只是生存工具，19世紀(jì)末才發(fā)展成體育活動。1896：第一次成為奧運(yùn)項(xiàng)目1904：中斷1928：中斷2008年廣東高考題

你很榮幸地成為2008北京奧運(yùn)會的一名21932：重回奧運(yùn)會

1968：第一次允許婦女參加奧運(yùn)射擊比賽現(xiàn)狀：穩(wěn)步發(fā)展，1896年奧運(yùn)會只有三項(xiàng)射擊項(xiàng)目，現(xiàn)今有17項(xiàng)?！緦懽饕蟆恐荒苁褂?個句子表達(dá)全部內(nèi)容?！驹u分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)】句子結(jié)構(gòu)準(zhǔn)確，信息內(nèi)容完整，篇章結(jié)構(gòu)連貫。1932：重回奧運(yùn)會

1968：第一次允許婦女參加奧運(yùn)射擊比3①Shooting,originatedasameansofsurvival,developedintoasportonlyinthelate19thcentury.②Thesport,whichfirstappearedin1896,waseversuspendedduringthe1904and1928Games.

③ItwasonlyfouryearsbeforethesportreturnedtotheOlympic.④

However,notuntil1968werewomenfirstallowedtocompeteinthe

Olympicshooting.⑤Withthesportbecomingmoreandmorepopular,ithasgrownsteadilyfromjust3shootingeventsatthe1896OlympicGamesto17today.廣東08高考基礎(chǔ)寫作范文：句子表達(dá)有何亮點(diǎn)？①Shooting,originatedasame4一、運(yùn)用同位語此方法多用于介紹人物、事物、產(chǎn)品、書名或地點(diǎn)等?！纠?】介紹事物：（2008）射擊最初只是生存工具，19世紀(jì)才發(fā)展成為一項(xiàng)體育運(yùn)動。Shooting,ameansofsurvivaloriginally,developedintoasportonlyinthelate19thcentury.一、運(yùn)用同位語此方法多用于介紹人物、事物、產(chǎn)品、書名或地點(diǎn)等5【例2】介紹人物：（2009）上周我們就中小學(xué)生近視問題采訪了眼科醫(yī)生王教授。Lastweek,wehadaninterviewwithProfessorWang,aneye-doctor,concerningtheissueofshort-sightednessoftheschoolchildreninChina.一、運(yùn)用同位語【例2】介紹人物：（2009）一、運(yùn)用同位語6【例3】介紹書名：（2011）書名：BattleHymnoftheTigerMother作者：AmyChua，美籍華人，耶魯大學(xué)教授中文版：2011年初開始在中國銷售Abook,BattleHymnoftheTigerMother,writtenbyAmyChua,anAmerican-Chinese,hasbeensoldinChinasincethebeginningof2011.【例3】介紹書名：（2011）71.GuangzhouisthecapitalofGuangdongProvince.ItislocatedinthemiddleofGuangdongProvince.ItisthecultureandeconomycenterofGuangdongProvince.Guangzhou,thecapitalandthecultureandeconomycenterofGuangdongProvince,islocatedinthemiddleofGuangdong.運(yùn)用同位語合并句子1.Guangzhouisthecapitalof82.ZhangHaiismale.Heis23yearsold.HegraduatedfromHunanNormalUniversitylastyear.ZhangHai,male,23yearsold,graduatedfromHunanNormalUniversitylastyear.運(yùn)用同位語合并句子2.ZhangHaiismale.Heis2391.去年，我被邀請參加一個為“待援助的孩子”（TuesdayChild）舉辦的一個狂歡節(jié)（carnival），“待援助的孩子”是一個幫助艾滋患兒的組織。Lastyear,IwasinvitedtoparticipateinacarnivalforTuesdayChild,______________________________.運(yùn)用同位語完成句子anorganizationthathelpschildrenwithAIDS1.去年，我被邀請參加一個為“待援助的孩子”（Tuesda102.離2010年還有一個月時間，但《孤星指南》（theLonelyPlanet）等不及宣布來年十大旅游城市排行榜，《孤星指南》是世界最暢銷旅游指南雜志之一。Thereisstillmorethanonemonthtogobefore2012.ButtheLonelyPlanet,____________________________________,can’twaittoannounceitstop10citiestotraveltointhecomingyear.運(yùn)用同位語完成句子

oneoftheworld’sbest-sellingtravelguides2.離2010年還有一個月時間，但《孤星指南》（theL111.李敏是個女孩子，今年18歲，她在光華中學(xué)學(xué)習(xí)，她是我的鄰居也是我最好的朋友。LiMin,agirlof18,myneighbourandmybestfriend,isstudyinginGuanghuaMiddleSchool.運(yùn)用同位語翻譯合并句子1.李敏是個女孩子，今年18歲，她在光華中學(xué)學(xué)習(xí)，她是我的122.姓名：SteveJobs別名：蘋果教父（godfather）出生地：美國加州三藩市出生日期：1955年2月24日逝世日期：2011年10月5日SteveJobs,thegodfatherofApple,wasborninSanFrancisco,California,theUSAonFebruary24th,1955andpassedawayonOctober5th,2011.運(yùn)用同位語翻譯合并句子2.姓名：SteveJobs運(yùn)用同位語翻譯合并句子13介詞短語非謂語動詞短語：現(xiàn)在分詞過去分詞不定式短語二、運(yùn)用短語介詞短語二、運(yùn)用短語14介詞短語常作狀語。【例4】我很驚訝，一切進(jìn)展得那么順利。【一般】Iwassurprise.Everythingwentonverywell.【高級】Tomysurprise,everythingwentonwell.介詞短語常作狀語。15介詞短語常作定語?！纠?】Wastewaterismakingtheriverworseandworse.Thewastewaterisfromafactory.Thefactoryliesontheriver.【高級】Wastewaterfromthefactory

ontheriverismakingtheriverworseandworse.介詞短語常作定語。161.XiaxiTownisnotbigbutbeautiful.Ithasanareaofabout8squarekilometers.XiaxiTown,withanareaofabout8squarekilometers,isnotbigbutbeautiful.2.Thereisanoldtower.Thetowerliesintheeastofthetown.Thereisariverbehindthetower.Intheeastofthetownliesanoldtower,behindwhichthereisariver.運(yùn)用介詞短語合并句子1.XiaxiTownisnotbigbutb173.Westartedearly.Wewantedtoenjoythesunriseonthetopofthetower.Westartedearly(inorder/soas/inaneffort)toenjoy/withthepurpose(goal)ofenjoyingthesunriseonthetopofthetower.4.Assoonaswegotthere,webegantotakephotos.Onarrivingthere,webegantotakephotos.3.Westartedearly.Wewanted185.Aprofessorgaveusatalkthismorning.HecamefromBeijingUniversity.HetalkedabouthowtolearnEnglishwell.AprofessorfromBeijingUniversitygaveusatalkabout/onhowtolearnEnglishwellthismorning.6.HetoldusofhisowninterestingexperiencesoflearningEnglish.Welaughedalot.OnhearinghisowninterestingexperiencesoflearningEnglish,welaughedalot.5.Aprofessorgaveusatalk197.Histalklastedanhour.Heaskedussomequestions.Duringtheone-hourtalk,heaskedussomequestions.7.Histalklastedanhour.He20使用時請注意以下幾點(diǎn)：不定式的動作發(fā)生在謂語動詞之后（一般情況下，盡量用不定式的主動式）；現(xiàn)在分詞表主動，該動作與謂語動詞的動作同時發(fā)生或緊接著發(fā)生；過去分詞表被動，或表示該動詞的動作在謂語動詞動作之前發(fā)生，或者沒有時間性；現(xiàn)在分詞的被動式表被動，與謂語動詞的動作同時發(fā)生。二、運(yùn)用非謂語動詞短語使用時請注意以下幾點(diǎn)：二、運(yùn)用非謂語動詞短語21【例6】故事是用簡單的英語寫的，很受英語初學(xué)者的歡迎?！疽话恪縏hestoriesarewritteninsimpleEnglish.TheyarepopularwithEnglishbeginners.【高級】WritteninsimpleEnglish,thestoriesarepopularwithEnglishbeginners.二、運(yùn)用非謂語動詞短語【例6】故事是用簡單的英語寫的，很受英語初學(xué)者的歡迎。二、運(yùn)221.Heisill.Hedidn’tgotoschool.Beingill,hedidn’tgotoschool.2.I’mwritingtoinviteyoutobeajudgeatourEnglishspeechcontest.ItwillbeheldonJune5.I’mwritingtoinviteyoutobeajudgeatourEnglishspeechcontesttobeheldonJune5.運(yùn)用非謂語動詞短語合并句子1.Heisill.Hedidn’tgoto233.Aftershelistenedtomeforawhile,shegavemeabigsmileandsaidshelikedmyvoiceverymuch.Afterlisteningtomeforawhile,shegavemeabigsmileandsaidshelikedmyvoiceverymuch.4.Idon’tknowhisname.IcallhimGoodMan.Notknowinghisname,IcallhimGoodMan.3.Aftershelistenedtomefo245.Themanissingingasong.Heismybrother.Themansingingasongismybrother.6.SuddenlyIsawanant.Shewastryinghardtomoveanotherantwhowasdead.SuddenlyIsawananttryinghardtomoveanotherantwhowasdead.5.Themanissingingasong.25常用的并列連詞有and,but,or,otherwise,nor,so,yet,however,for,aswellas,both…and,notonly…butalso,either…or,neither…nor,andthen,since等。三、運(yùn)用并列句常用的并列連詞有and,but,or,otherwis26【例7】他不喜歡音樂，也不喜歡運(yùn)動。【一般】Hedoesn’tlikemusic.Hedoesn’tlikesports,either.【高級】Helikesneithermusicnorsports.三、運(yùn)用并列句【例7】他不喜歡音樂，也不喜歡運(yùn)動。三、運(yùn)用并列句27【例8】我不喜歡他，他很自私。【一般】Idon’tlikehim.Heisselfish.【高級】Idon’tlikehim,forheisselfish.三、運(yùn)用并列句【例8】我不喜歡他，他很自私。三、運(yùn)用并列句281.Heworkshardhimself.Heencouragesustoworkhard,too.Henotonlyworkshardhimself,butalsoencouragesustoworkhard.2.Theseglassesareveryexpensive.Pleasebecarefulwiththem.Pleasebecarefulwiththeseglasses,fortheyareveryexpensive.運(yùn)用并列連詞合并句子1.Heworkshardhimself.Hee293.HalfofthegirlschoosefilmandTVstarsastheiridols.48%oftheboysfavoursportsstars.HalfofthegirlschoosefilmandTVstarsastheiridolswhile48%oftheboysfavoursportsstars.4.Iamgoodatexpressingmyself.Ihavethelanguageadvantageoverothers.Notonly

amIgoodatexpressingmyself,butIalsohavethelanguageadvantageoverothers.3.Halfofthegirlschoosefi305.Accordingtotheprofessor,thecauseofshort-sightednessisverycomplicated.Nomedicinecancureit.Accordingtotheprofessor,thecauseofshort-sightednessisverycomplicatedsonomedicinecancureit.5.Accordingtotheprofessor,316.Thegovernmentshouldbeawareoftheimportanceofprovidingeducationforallthechildren.Theaveragepeopleshouldbeawareoftheimportance,too.Thegovernment,aswellastheaveragepeople/Boththegovernmentandtheaveragepeopleshouldbeawareoftheimportanceofprovidingeducationforallthechildren.6.Thegovernmentshouldbeaw32最常用的是狀語從句、主語從句、賓語從句、表語從句和定語從句?！纠?】廢水被直接排放到河里，河水被嚴(yán)重污染?！疽话恪縒astewaterisdirectlyletintotheriver.Theriverisseriouslypolluted.【高級】Theriverisseriouslypollutedbecausewastewaterisdirectlyletintoit.四、運(yùn)用復(fù)合句最常用的是狀語從句、主語從句、賓語從句、表語從句和定語從句。33【例10】他病得很重，這讓我著急?！疽话恪縃ewasseriouslyill.Itmademeworried.【高級】Hewasseriouslyill,whichmademeworried.四、運(yùn)用復(fù)合句【例10】他病得很重，這讓我著急。四、運(yùn)用復(fù)合句341.Heneverlostagame.Iwasreallyastonished.Iwasreallyastonishedthatheneverlostagame.2.LiHuaismyclassmate.HisEnglishisverygood.LiHuaismyclassmate,whoseEnglishisverygood.運(yùn)用復(fù)合句合并句子1.Heneverlostagame.Iwas353.Asformyself,ThomasEdisonismyidol.Hisinventionshavegreatlychangedourlife.Asformyself,ThomasEdisonismyidolbecausehisinventionshavegreatlychangedourlife.Asformyself,ThomasEdison,whoseinventionshavegreatlychangedourlife,ismyidol.3.Asformyself,ThomasEdiso364.CurrentlyChinahasabout350millionsmokers.Amongthesesmokers75%aremenand25%arewomen.CurrentlyChinahasabout350millionsmokers,amongwhom75%aremenand25%arewomen.4.CurrentlyChinahasabout3375.Wearenowlivinginaninformationage.TV,cellsandtheWebarewidelyusedinthisage.Wearenowlivinginaninformationage,inwhichTV,cellsandtheWebarewidelyused.5.Wearenowlivinginaninf386.Thegovernmentwouldorganizemorethan1,100engineersandworkersfromacrossthecountrytodigwellsinthecountry’ssouthwest.Itisreported.Itisreportedthatthegovernmentwouldorganizemorethan1,100engineersandworkersfromacrossthecountrytodigwellsinthecountry’ssouthwest.Asisreported,thegovernmentwouldorganizemorethan1,100engineersandworkersfromacrossthecountrytodigwellsinthecountry’ssouthwest.6.Thegovernmentwouldorgani39需要注意的是，我們在寫作時，要注意不要一味地追求復(fù)雜的句型，能簡則簡，能用短語，就不要用從句。在句式多樣的前提下，盡量做到精煉?！纠?1】我正在餐桌旁吃飯，一個人朝我走了過來，那個人戴著一頂黑帽子?！緩?fù)雜】Iwasattablewhenamanwhowaswearingablackhatcameuptome.【簡明】WhenIwasattable,amanwearingablackhatcameuptome.需要注意的是，我們在寫作時，要注意不要一味地追求復(fù)雜的句型，40寫作中復(fù)合句常見的錯誤1.只有從句，沒有主句

Thekeeperwhohadlivedinthelighttowerforalongtime,sohecouldkeepcalminthestorm.寫作中復(fù)合句常見的錯誤1.只有從句，沒有主句The412.以逗號代替句號,把兩個簡單句當(dāng)成一個句子②Theoldmanthoughtofhisson,tearscamedownfromhisface.①Thehallisdifferentfromallotherbuildings,itismadeofglass.2.以逗號代替句號,把兩個簡單句當(dāng)成一個句子②Theol423.刻意使用從句，表達(dá)不自然

ThereareoverfiftystudentsinthisschoolwhoaregoingtotakepartinthesportsmeetnextSunday.

OverfiftystudentsinthisschoolaregoingtotakepartinthesportsmeetnextSunday.3.刻意使用從句，表達(dá)不自然Thereareov434.過多地使用并列句組合信息②Weweredrivingoutintothecountry,andwesawourEnglishteacherridinginabus,andthebuswascrowded.①Itisabeautifulday,andthesunisshiningandabreezeisblowing.→Itisabeautifuldaywiththesunshiningandabreezeblowing.→Asweweredrivingoutintothecountry,wesawourEnglishteacherridinginacrowdedbus.4.過多地使用并列句組合信息②Weweredrivin44

①Kateisanewstudent.②Shecomesfromanorthernprovince.③Shespeaksadialect.④Wefindithardtounderstandherdialect.Kate,anewstudentfromanorthernprovince,speaksadialectwhichwefindithardtounderstand.用一句話表達(dá)①Kateisanewstudent.45不是人人都能學(xué)好英語，小學(xué)生同時學(xué)漢語和英語反而會影響漢語學(xué)習(xí)。第一步：拆分成幾個簡單句①不是人人都能學(xué)好英語。②小學(xué)生同時學(xué)漢語和英語。③這會影響漢語學(xué)習(xí)。第二步：分別翻譯這幾個簡單句①

NoteveryoneisgoodatlearningEnglish.③

ThiswillaffecttheirChinesestudy.②

ChildrenfromprimaryschoollearnEnglishandChineseatthesametime.不是人人都能學(xué)好英語，小學(xué)生同時學(xué)漢語和英語反而會影響漢語學(xué)46①

NoteveryoneisgoodatlearningEnglish.②

ChildrenfromprimaryschoolstarttolearnEnglishandChineseatthesametime.③

ThiswillaffecttheirChinesestudy.第三步：合并句子

That

childrenfromprimaryschoolstarttolearnEnglishandChineseatthesametimewillaffecttheirChinesestudy

becausenoteveryoneisgoodatlearningEnglish.①Noteveryoneisgoodatlear47①

NoteveryoneisgoodatlearningEnglish.②

ChildrenfromprimaryschoolstarttolearnEnglishandChineseatthesametime.③

ThiswillaffecttheirChinesestudy.第三步：合并句子

IfchildrenfromprimaryschoolstarttolearnEnglishandChineseatthesametime,thiswillaffecttheirChinesestudy方法2：

becausenoteveryoneisgoodatlearningEnglish.①Noteveryoneisgoodatlear48你來試試參考詞匯：錯別字:wrongly-writtencharacters網(wǎng)絡(luò)語言：weblanguage要求：1.用兩句話表達(dá)表格內(nèi)容

2.兩句話要有連貫性你來試試參考詞匯：要求：1.用兩句話表達(dá)表格內(nèi)容49第一句（兩個信息點(diǎn)）：

1.學(xué)生作文中出現(xiàn)很多錯別字2.（他們）上網(wǎng)聊天時經(jīng)常使用網(wǎng)絡(luò)語言。

①Therearemanywrongly-writtencharactersinstudents’compositions.

Thereasonwhytherearemanywrongly-writtencharactersinstudents’compositionsisthattheyoftenuseweblanguageswhenchattingonline.合并句子：②Theyoftenuseweblanguageswhenchattingonline.

第一句（兩個信息點(diǎn)）：①Therearemanyw501.Theyhavesomuchhomeworktodoeverydaythattheyfailtomemorizethenewcharacters.第二句:1.每天有很多作業(yè)做2.沒有記住生字。①Theyhavemuchhomeworktodoeveryday.2.Withsomuchhomeworktodoeveryday,theyfailtomemorizethenewcharacters.3.Becausetheyhavesomuchhomeworktodo,theyfailtomemorizethenewcharacters.合并句子：②Theyfailtomemorizethenewcharacters.1.Theyhavesomuchhomework51連接兩句話：Thereasonwhytherearemanywrongly-writtencharactersinstudents’compositionsisthattheyoftenuseweblanguageswhenchattingonline.Moreover,theyhavesomuchhomeworktodoeverydaythattheyfailtomemorizethenewcharacters.連接兩句話：52昨天，我們在班里進(jìn)行了一場討論。我們討論是否應(yīng)該幫助那些困境中的人。我的一些同學(xué)說應(yīng)該。他們認(rèn)為幫助他人是我們中華民族的傳統(tǒng)美德。一些人認(rèn)為幫助他人不是個好主意?，F(xiàn)在的人忘恩負(fù)義。我們可能受到我們想幫助的人的傷害。依我之見，我們應(yīng)伸出援助之手給那些需要幫助的人。人人能互相關(guān)心。這個世界會更美好。翻譯合并將下列句子譯成英文，然后運(yùn)用本課件的方法，并使用適當(dāng)?shù)年P(guān)聯(lián)詞將它們組成一篇五句話的短文。昨天，我們在班里進(jìn)行了一場討論。我們討論是否應(yīng)該幫助那些困境53昨天，我們在班里進(jìn)行了一場討論。Yesterdaywehadadiscussioninourclass.我們討論是否應(yīng)該幫助那些困境中的人。Wediscussedwhetherweshouldhelpthoseintrouble.我的一些同學(xué)說應(yīng)該。Someofmyclassmatessaidweshould.昨天，我們在班里進(jìn)行了一場討論。54他們認(rèn)為幫助他人是我們中華民族的傳統(tǒng)美德。TheythinkhelpingothersisagoodtraditionalvirtueofusChinesepeople.一些人認(rèn)為幫助他人不是個好主意。Othersdidn’tthinkitisagoodideatohelpotherpeople.現(xiàn)在的人忘恩負(fù)義。Peoplenowadaysareungrateful.他們認(rèn)為幫助他人是我們中華民族的傳統(tǒng)美德。55我們可能受到我們想幫助的人的傷害。Wemaybehurtbythosewhowearetryingtohelp.依我之見，我們應(yīng)伸出援助之手給那些需要幫助的人。Inmyview,weshouldgiveahandtothepeopleinneedofhelp.人人能互相關(guān)心。Everyonecancareforeachother.這個世界會更美好。Theworldwillbecomemorebeautiful.我們可能受到我們想幫助的人的傷害。56Yesterdaywehadadiscussionon