第2章如何構(gòu)寫大綱和進(jìn)行情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)(上部)講義高考英語讀后續(xù)寫專題

一、寫大綱只需10句固定:P1P2首句+P1尾句+P2尾兩句寫大綱:十句五定法(5句有固定依據(jù))P1:Asthetuinslookedaroundthemindisappointment,their,fatherappeared.P2:Thetuinscarriedthebreakfastupstairsandwoketheirmotherup.①接著P1(心理/動(dòng)作鏈)⑥接著P2(心理/動(dòng)作鏈)②⑦③⑧④⑨結(jié)局(緊貼首段/需求解決)⑤根據(jù)P2?升華(歸類+總結(jié)共性)舉例ThetwinswerefilledwithexcitementastheythoughtofthesurprisetheywereplanningforMother'sDay.HowpleasedandproudMotherwouldbewhentheybroughtherbreakfastinbed.TheyplannedtomakeFrenchtoastandchickenporridge.Theyhadwatchedtheirmotherinthekitchen.Therewasnothingtoit.JennaandJeffknewexactlywhattodo.Thebigdaycameatlast.Thealarmrangat6a.m.Thepairwentdownthestairsquietlytothekitchen.Theydecidedtoboiltheporridgefirst.TheyputsomericeintoapotofwaterandleftittoboilwhiletheymadetheFrenchtoast.Jeffbroketwoeggsintoaplateandaddedinsomemilk.Jennafoundthebreadandputtwoslicesintotheeggmixture.Next,Jeffturnedonthesecondstoveburnertoheatupthefryingpan.EverythingwasgoingsmoothlyuntilJeffstartedfryingthebread.Thepanwastoohotandthebreadturnedblackwithinseconds.Jennathrewtheburntpieceintothesinkandputintheothersliceofbread.Thistime,sheturneddownthefiresoitcookednicely.ThenJeffnoticedsteamshootingoutofthepotandthelidstartingtoshake.Thenextminute,theporridgeboiledoverandputoutthefire.Jennapanicked.Thankfully,Jeffstayedcalmandturnedoffthegasquickly.Butthestovewasamessnow.JennatoldJefftocleanitupsotheycouldcontinuetocooktherestoftheporridge.ButJeff'shandtouchedthehotburnerandhegaveacryofpain.Jennamadehimputhishandincoldwater.Thenshecaughtthesmellofburning.Ohdear!Thepieceofbreadinthepanhadturnedblackaswell.第一步P1:Asthetuinslookedaroundthemindisappointment,their,fatherappeared.P2:Thetuinscarriedthebreakfastupstairsandwoketheirmotherup.①接著P1(心理/動(dòng)作鏈)Twins：害怕被責(zé)備+欣喜有救星father：理解⑥接著P2(心理/動(dòng)作鏈)Twins:期待+忐忑；mother：驚喜+欣慰②⑦③⑧④⑨結(jié)局(緊貼首段/需求解決)問題解決（符合價(jià)值觀結(jié)局）⑤根據(jù)P2Cookedthebreakfast?升華(歸類+總結(jié)共性)價(jià)值觀/感嘆第二步P1:Asthetuinslookedaroundthemindisappointment,their,fatherappeared.P2:Thetuinscarriedthebreakfastupstairsandwoketheirmotherup.①接著P1(心理/動(dòng)作鏈)Twins：害怕被責(zé)備+欣喜有救星father：理解⑥接著P2(心理/動(dòng)作鏈)Twins:期待+忐忑；mother：驚喜+欣慰②另外5句2個(gè)關(guān)鍵情節(jié)：P1爸爸幫忙做早餐+P2媽媽開心3個(gè)細(xì)節(jié)描寫：動(dòng)作、語言環(huán)境⑦③⑧④⑨結(jié)局(緊貼首段/需求解決)問題解決（符合價(jià)值觀結(jié)局）⑤根據(jù)P2Cookedthebreakfast?升華(歸類+總結(jié)共性)價(jià)值觀/感嘆第三步P1:Asthetuinslookedaroundthemindisappointment,their,fatherappeared.P2:Thetuinscarriedthebreakfastupstairsandwoketheirmotherup.①接著P1(心理/動(dòng)作鏈)Twins：害怕被責(zé)備+欣喜有救星father：理解⑥接著P2(心理/動(dòng)作鏈)Twins:期待+忐忑；mother：驚喜+欣慰②語言對(duì)話⑦關(guān)鍵情節(jié)同時(shí)空各個(gè)角色在做什么由角色特點(diǎn)決定③動(dòng)作/環(huán)境Cleanthekitchen原文復(fù)現(xiàn)延伸⑧動(dòng)作/語言/環(huán)境對(duì)話④關(guān)鍵環(huán)節(jié)由角色特點(diǎn)決定Fathercookedbreakfast；twinscleankitchen⑨結(jié)局(緊貼首段/需求解決)問題解決（符合價(jià)值觀結(jié)局）媽媽驚喜呼應(yīng)原文復(fù)合價(jià)值觀結(jié)局⑤根據(jù)P2Cookedthebreakfast?升華(歸類+總結(jié)共性)價(jià)值觀/感嘆二情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)|只需4步“NSDD”:N需求+D困難+S方法+D結(jié)局續(xù)寫情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)1、“評(píng)卷員說”:情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)原則“需求法”(NSDD)&歷年真題實(shí)戰(zhàn)情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)素材:原文這三處[讀后續(xù)寫:情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)|“需求法”NSDD]1、“評(píng)卷員說”:情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)原則優(yōu)先等級(jí):簡(jiǎn)單.穩(wěn)妥>緊湊>豐富>故事性2、情節(jié)構(gòu)思“需求法”(NSDD)(1)N需求+D困難+S方法+D結(jié)局(2)歷年真題，情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)分析3.情節(jié)線索:看原文這3處串聯(lián)大意5W1H+P1P2首句,定事件走向(2)劃關(guān)鍵詞(角色特點(diǎn)、關(guān)鍵情節(jié))各類描寫占比，續(xù)寫比例與其一致聽評(píng)卷員說”:●“語法、時(shí)態(tài)、拼寫、標(biāo)點(diǎn)、大小寫、敘述連貫性等方面的錯(cuò)誤率都與學(xué)生讀后續(xù)寫的成績(jī)存在不同程度的正相關(guān)性。”“普遍存在情節(jié)不嚴(yán)密，詞匯較低級(jí)，句式變化少等情況”“...續(xù)寫內(nèi)容才能與原文融洽，連貫...”“最后附上閱卷實(shí)際操作評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，主要依據(jù)為是否有正確的句子，原則上就高不就低。20分:內(nèi)容順，細(xì)節(jié)比較多，允許些許錯(cuò)誤。18分:內(nèi)容順，細(xì)節(jié)少些，語言有些錯(cuò)誤。15分:內(nèi)容可讀，語言錯(cuò)誤多。10分:內(nèi)容基本完整,基本沒什么完整的句子。”的要求?續(xù)寫情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)，優(yōu)先順序:“嚴(yán)密、融洽、連貫”簡(jiǎn)單.穩(wěn)妥>緊湊>豐富>故事性總結(jié):情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)的任務(wù)為“簡(jiǎn)單穩(wěn)妥”?！羝渌S度可通過詞匯、句式、連接詞、各類描寫來實(shí)現(xiàn):●緊湊性:情節(jié)推進(jìn)+連接成分(邏輯連詞+副詞+介詞短語)●豐富性:各類描寫、詞匯、句式●故事性:多讀英語小故事，了解文化，熟悉常見情節(jié)續(xù)寫情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)，優(yōu)先順序:如何做到簡(jiǎn)單穩(wěn)妥？那就要“嚴(yán)密、融洽、連貫”從而貼緊原文，找線索[讀原文:5WP1P2+角色特點(diǎn)+描寫占比]第一件事:串聯(lián)首尾段5W1H+P1P2給定句,定事件走向(1)讀首段得知:人物+大致事件(2)讀尾段得知:具體事件+態(tài)度(3)讀P1P2給定句得知:故事結(jié)局走向2.第二件事:劃出關(guān)鍵詞(角色特點(diǎn)、關(guān)鍵情節(jié))劃出角色相關(guān)描寫(adj/v/n):用來續(xù)寫角色，改寫關(guān)鍵詞劃出矛盾/需求、關(guān)鍵情節(jié):用來續(xù)寫情節(jié)，甚至是“升華3、觀察各類描寫占比，續(xù)寫比例與其一致(1)看各類描寫:續(xù)寫時(shí)盡量占比一致(2)語法句式:盡量保持一致，也可模仿好句用表格規(guī)劃思路構(gòu)思前：讀原文3件事（5WP1P2+角色+描寫）Who關(guān)鍵詞動(dòng)作：v情緒/心理：adj特點(diǎn)：n./短語角色1角色2角色3What關(guān)鍵句P1P2關(guān)鍵句3W1H平常寫作訓(xùn)練時(shí)，可以以此表格梳理思路在考場(chǎng)上可以直接在原文標(biāo)記短故事情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)法(短故事情節(jié):shortstoryplots]MaincharacterCharacter2SettingSituationThemeCharacteractionExpositionConflictRisingsacionClimaxFallingactionResolutionStoryElementsStoryelementsarethepieces,oringredients,thatwhenputtogether,makeupanarrativestory.ldentifyingandrememberingstoryelementswillhelpyouunderstandastorybetter.StoryElementsInclude:Characterspeople/animalsinthestorySettingwhen/wherethestorytakesplaceproblemtheconflict,ormainproblem,thatthecharactershaveSolutionhowtheproblemissolved讀后續(xù)寫:情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)|“需求法”NSDD簡(jiǎn)化表格進(jìn)行情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)Needs需求重點(diǎn)看：首尾段+P1P2給定句也可理解為：寫作者要寫到的內(nèi)容Difficulty困難、障礙設(shè)置困難原文中找沖突、障礙（5W1H+角色特點(diǎn)）Solution行動(dòng)、方法大轉(zhuǎn)機(jī)：通常在P1/P2首句原文：所有角色/事物Denouement結(jié)局(需求解決)需求被解決（復(fù)合價(jià)值觀結(jié)局）升華感悟平常寫作訓(xùn)練時(shí)，可以以此表格設(shè)計(jì)情節(jié)在考場(chǎng)上可以直接在原文標(biāo)記歷年考題情節(jié)分析：需求結(jié)局困難方法：借助他人或他物年份主題需求Needs結(jié)局Denouement困難Difficulties方法和媒介Solutions2021.6全國(guó)1卷母親節(jié)驚喜做早餐做好了早餐不會(huì)做，廚房亂爸爸幫忙2021.6浙江卷暑期打工處理掙到的錢處理了錢:將掙到的錢給了父親作者不情愿貢獻(xiàn)辛苦掙到的錢父親的辛勞和擔(dān)心，觸動(dòng)了我2021.1浙江卷卡南瓜視頻在網(wǎng)絡(luò)走紅得救，視頻在網(wǎng)絡(luò)傳播開來視頻在網(wǎng)絡(luò)傳播開來獲得關(guān)注被南瓜卡住無法自救爸爸媽媽幫忙，視頻傳上網(wǎng)絡(luò)2020.7浙江卷拍攝北極熊,對(duì)峙，遇險(xiǎn)脫險(xiǎn)脫險(xiǎn)救援直升機(jī)30分鐘才到用辣椒噴霧擊退熊;救援趕到2020.7山東卷救助窮人助人助人沒錢賣爆米花賺錢，路人購(gòu)買2020.1浙江卷浙江卷讓小狗開心小狗開心，家庭團(tuán)聚小狗想念男孩，但他上大學(xué)未歸父母買新小狗,作伴，男孩回來真題實(shí)戰(zhàn)Onefall,mywifeElliandIhadasinglegoal:tophotographpolarbears.Wewerestayingatаresearchcampoutsidethepolarbearcapitaloftheteardownthefencewithhismassivepaws.world"thetownofChurchillinManitoba,Canada.Takingpicturesofpolarbearsisamazingbutalsodangerous.Polarbearslikeallwildanimalsshouldbephotographedfromаsafedistance.WhenI'mfacetofacewithapolarbear,Ilikeittobethroughacamerawithatelephotolens.Butsometimes,thatiseasiersaidthandone.Thiswasoneofthosetimes.AsElliandIcookeddinner,ayoungmalepolarbearwhowasplayinginanearbylakesniffed,andsmelledourgarlicbread.Thehungrybearfollowedhisnosetoourcamp,whichwassurroundedbyahighwirefence.Hepulledandbitthewire.HestoodonhisbacklegsandP1:Afewminuteslater,thebearheadedbacktopushedatthewoodenfenceposts.Terrified,ElliandItriedallthebeardefenseactionsweknew.Weyelledatthebear,hitpotshard,andfiredblankshotgunshellsintotheair.Sometimesloudnoiseslikethesewillscarebearsoff.Notthispolarbearthoughhejustkepttryingtoresearchcampoutsidethepolarbearcapitaloftheteardownthefencewithhismassivepaws.Iradioedthecampmanagerforhelp.Hetoldmeahelicopterwasonitsway,butitwouldbe30minutesbeforeitarrived.Makingthebestofthiscloseencounter,Itooksomepicturesofthebear.ElliandIfearedthefencewouldn'tlastthrough30moreminutesofthebearspunishment.ThecampmanagersuggestedIusepepperspray.Thesprayburnsthebears'eyes,butdoesn'thurtthem.SoIapproachedouruninvitedguestslowlyand,throughthefence,sprayedhimintheface.Withanangryroarthebearrantothelaketowashhiseyes.[2020年7月浙江卷]P1:Afewminuteslater,thebearheadedbacktoourcamp.P2:Atthatverymoment,thehelicopterarrived.原文找:5W1H所有人物+特點(diǎn)+描寫占比Onefall,mywifeElliandIhadasinglegoal:tophotographpolarbears.Wewerestayingataresearchcampoutside“thepolarbearcapitaloftheworld”thetownofChurchillinManitoba,Canada.Takingpicturesofpolarbearsisamazingbutalsodangerous.Polarbearslikeallwildanimalsshouldbephotographedfromasafedistance.WhenI'mfacetofacewithapolarbear,Ilikeittobethroughacamerawithatelephotolens.Butsometimes,thatiseasiersaidthandone.Thiswasoneofthosetimes.某個(gè)秋天，我和妻子EIli有個(gè)目標(biāo):拍攝北極熊。我們住在“世界北極熊之都”加拿大馬尼托巴省丘吉爾鎮(zhèn)外的一個(gè)調(diào)研營(yíng)地。給北極熊拍照很神奇，但也很危險(xiǎn)。北極熊和所有野生動(dòng)物一樣應(yīng)該在安全距離內(nèi)拍照。當(dāng)我與北極熊面對(duì)面時(shí)，我喜歡用帶有長(zhǎng)焦鏡頭的相機(jī)。但有時(shí)，說起來容易做起來難。這是其中之一。AsElliandIcookeddinner,ayoungmalepolarbearwhowasplayinginanearbylakesniffed,andsmelledourgarlicbread.5W1H所有人/物+特點(diǎn)+描寫占比Thehungrybearfollowedhisnosetoourcamp,whichwassurroundedbyahighwirefence.Hepulledandbitthewire.Hestoodonhisbacklegsandpushedatthewoodenfenceposts.Terrified,ElliandItriedallthebeardefenseactionsweknew.Weyelledatthebear',hitpotshard,andfiredblankshotgunshellsintotheair.Sometimesloudnoiseslikethesewillscarebearsoff.Notthispolarbearthough—hejustkepttryingtoteardownthefencewithhismassivepaws.當(dāng)Elli和我做晚飯時(shí)，一只年輕的雄性北極熊在附近湖里玩耍,它嗅.和聞到了我們大蒜面包的味道。.饑餓的熊順著鼻子來到我們的營(yíng)地，營(yíng)地被高高的鐵絲網(wǎng)包圍。他拉扯并咬住了電線，用后腿站立，推木柵欄柱子。Elli和我嚇壞了，試了所知的所有防熊行動(dòng)。我們對(duì)著熊大喊大叫，用力擊打罐子，并向空中發(fā)射空彈。有時(shí)這種響亮的聲音會(huì)嚇跑熊。然而對(duì)這只北極熊無.效他只是不停地用大爪子試圖推倒柵欄。Iradioedthecampmanagerforhelp.Hetoldmeahelicopterwasonitsway,butitwouldbe30minutesbeforeitarrived.Makingthebestofthiscloseencounter,Itooksomepicturesofthebear.ElliandIfearedthefencewouldn'tlastthrough30minutesofthebear'spunishment.ThecampmanagersuggestedIusepepperspray.Thesprayburnsthebears'eyes,butdoesn'thurtthem.SoIapproachedouruninvitedguestslowlyand,throughthefence,sprayedhimintheface.Withanangryroar(吼叫),thebearrantothelaketowashhiseyes.我用無線電向營(yíng)地經(jīng)理尋求幫助。他告訴我一架直升飛機(jī)，在路上了，但30分鐘后才能到。充分利用這次近距離接觸，我拍了一些熊的照片。EIli和我擔(dān)心圍欄在熊的暴行下，無法扛多30分鐘。營(yíng)地經(jīng)理建議我用胡椒噴霧。噴霧會(huì)灼傷熊的眼睛，但不會(huì)傷害它們。于是我慢慢走近這不速之throughthefence,sprayedhiminthe客,穿過柵欄，朝他臉上噴過去。熊怒吼一聲，跑到湖邊洗眼睛。NSDD分析N需求：首位12段+P1P2給定句脫險(xiǎn)：對(duì)抗怒熊30分鐘我們：拍照熊：吃食物D困難：5W1H+角色特點(diǎn)怒熊：兇悍難纏武器：只能用普通物品S法方：等直升機(jī)Elli采取行動(dòng)噴霧+面包D結(jié)局：需求解決+呼應(yīng)原文脫險(xiǎn)：直升機(jī)來營(yíng)救我們完成拍照熊沖破柵欄獲得美食[填入原文線索,情節(jié)僅需補(bǔ)23句]N需求:脫險(xiǎn),對(duì)抗熊30分鐘;驚險(xiǎn)時(shí)刻(線索在:首尾段+P1/P2給定句)D困難:熊兇猛;武器只能用普通物品(線索在:5w1H+角色特點(diǎn))S方法:等直升機(jī);Elli行動(dòng);噴霧+面包(線索在:P1/P2給定句+角色事物)D結(jié)局:登機(jī)脫險(xiǎn)熊破柵欄吃食物我拍照(線索在:需求解決+呼應(yīng)原文)P1:Aferuminuteslater,thebearheadedbacktoourcamp.P2:Atthatverymoment,thehelicopterarrived.①意識(shí)到噴霧無用，熊更兇狠②我害怕，不知咋辦③Elli行動(dòng),扔面包④行動(dòng)有用，熊跑去吃面包⑤熊吃完又折回，驚險(xiǎn)時(shí)刻⑥我們開心，得救(心理+語言)⑦登直升機(jī)脫險(xiǎn)(動(dòng)作+心理)⑧俯瞰營(yíng)地，發(fā)現(xiàn)驚人一幕⑨熊終于沖破柵欄吃食物⑩我拍照，心想:“熊得逞了!N需求:脫險(xiǎn),對(duì)抗熊30分鐘;驚險(xiǎn)時(shí)刻(線索在:首尾段+P1/P2給定句)D困難:熊兇猛;武器只能用普通物品(線索在:5w1H+角色特點(diǎn))S方法:等直升機(jī);Elli行動(dòng);噴霧+面包(線索在:P1/P2給定句+角色事物)D結(jié)局:登機(jī)脫險(xiǎn)熊破柵欄吃食物我拍照(線索在:需求解決+呼應(yīng)原文)P1:Afewminuteslater,thebearheadedbacktoourcamp.Thenwerealizedthatthesprayhadonlyangeredhimevenmore,forheseemedmuchfiercerthistimeandviolentlypushedthefencelikemad.Myheartracedwildly,notknowingwhattodo.Atthiscriticalmoment,Elligrabbedseveralpiecesofgarlicbreadandthrewthemoverthefence.Itworked!Thebearstoppedtheattackandrantothebread.Butitwasn'tlongbeforeheateupallthebreadandcamebackagain.P2:Atthatverymoment,thehelicopterarrived.“Thankgoodnesswearesaved!"Ellicriedout.Oncethehelicopterlanded,wegotontoitinnotime,excitedandrelieved.Whenweweresafeonthehelicopterupintheair,Iwasamazedtospotthatthebearhadfinallytorndownthefenceandrantowardsthefoodweleftbehind.Iquicklytookoutthecameraandphotographedtherarescene一we