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讀后續(xù)寫EnglishContinuationWriting模擬題football主講人:考情分析能基本讀懂故事,對原文本分析不夠具體到位。寫作情節(jié)偏離,邏輯混亂,銜接不恰當(dāng),句式簡單,描寫生硬。教學(xué)目標(biāo)通過故事要素分析,引導(dǎo)學(xué)生深度解析文本,幫助學(xué)生理順情節(jié)發(fā)展,抓住人物核心性格,確保學(xué)生續(xù)寫情節(jié)符合邏輯。通過主述位推進(jìn)幫助學(xué)生搭建文章邏輯結(jié)構(gòu),解決學(xué)生無話可寫的問題。通過提供語料,作文互批表,明確批改潤色要求,反復(fù)練習(xí),指導(dǎo)學(xué)生寫出更自然合理銜接得當(dāng)?shù)淖魑?。文本分析part1Whichonedoyouprefer?Why?Mariawaspracticingwithhersoccermatesinatinyschoolyard.TheywereallfromRiverEdgeRockers,asoccerteamoftheircommunity.Suddenly,theballflewintoadeepholeattheedgeoftheyard.Itwasthethirdtimethattheyhadlosttheirballthismonth.WithouttheballMariahadtowavegoodbyetohermatesandwenthome,depressed.“Ifonlytherewerearegulationsoccerfield!”shethought.
01Thatevening,seeingherlowspirits,herfatherasked,“Whatwasthematter,dear?”“Iwasjustthinkingaboutplayinginabrandnewsoccerfield!”
Mariaanswered.Herfathersmiledandsaid,“Tomorrow,aTownCouncilmeetingistobeheldtodiscussabouttheuseofthatvacant(空著的)lotnexttothepetstore,HomeforPets.Whynottakethisopportunitytoconvincethemweneedabetterfield?”020304Thenextday,withthecompanyofherfather,Mariaandherteammateswenttothemeetinghall.OntheirarrivaltheysawCouncilwomanJillandsomecitizensalreadythere.Theytooktheirseats.AfterJillannouncedthestartofthediscussion,Mariastoodupandspokefirst.“Uptillnowthereisnosoccerfieldinourcommunity,whichcertainlyaffectsourphysicalhealth.Ourteamcurrentlyhavetopracticeinatinyschoolyard,andonlywhenit’snotalreadybooked.”05Mrs.
Lorries,ownerofthepetstore,commented,“Icouldn’tagreemore.Kidsdoneedsuchafield.”TheRockersapplaudedexcitedlyandtheothercitizensallagreeditwouldbeawayout.“Asoccerfieldwouldbeagooduseforthatlotwithovergrownweedsandsomelargerocks,buttobuildsuchonewouldneedasmallsumofmoneyandmaybeyouevenneedtodoalltheworkonyourown.”
CouncilwomanJillsmiled,“Canyoumanageit?”0607Thinkingforawhile,Marianoddedwithadeterminedlookonherface,“TheRockerscandoit!Wewillturnitintoasoccerfield.”Theteammatesallcheered.08thatnightfootballfieldMariaherteammatesfatherJillMrs.LorriesMariaandherteammateswantanewfootballfield.故事要素WhenWhereWhat Who WhythenextmorningthemeetinghallRereadthestoryandfigureouttheplot.Mariawantedanewfootballfield.(Maria)depressedMaria’sdadsuggestedanideatoMaria.(Maria)unknownMariaandotherpeoplediscussedtheuseofthevacantlot.(Maria)excited;determined續(xù)寫部分續(xù)寫部分本文情節(jié)線setting環(huán)境risingaction發(fā)展fallingaction結(jié)局climax高潮人物時間地點Maria想要有一個新的足球場,她爸爸提議可以考慮寵物店旁邊的空地。Maria提議把寵物店旁邊的空地建為新足球場。Maria和她的隊友需要自己籌集資金并準(zhǔn)備足球場。本文情節(jié)線setting環(huán)境risingaction發(fā)展fallingaction結(jié)局climax高潮人物時間地點Maria想要有一個新的足球場,她爸爸提議可以考慮寵物店旁邊的空地。Maria提議把寵物店空地建為新足球場。Maria和她的隊友需要自己籌集資金并準(zhǔn)備足球場。resolution解決ending尾聲續(xù)寫部分續(xù)寫部分depressedexciteddeterminedMariaAfterJillannouncedthestartofthediscussion,Mariastoodupandspokefirst.confidentMariaThinkingforawhile,Marianoddedwithadeterminedlookonherface,“TheRockerscandoit!Wewillturnitintoasoccerfield.”determinedMaria’sdadThatevening,seeingherlowspirits,herfatherasked,
“Whatwasthematter,dear?”carefulMaria’sdadThenextday,withthecompanyofherfather,Mariaandherteammateswenttothemeetinghall.careful篇章概括者SummarizerMaria想要一個新的足球場,她爸爸建議她可以在鎮(zhèn)議會上提議。在會上,Maria提出了想法,得到了同意。第二天,隊員商量如何籌錢...Mariawantedanewfootballfield.HisfathersuggestedthatsheshouldproposetheideaintheTownCouncilmeeting.Inthemeeting,Mariaputforwardheridea,whichwasagreed.Thefollowingday,theteammatesdiscussedhowtoraisemoney...寫作構(gòu)架part2平行性延續(xù)性三種敘述模式交叉性模擬題足球場Paragraph2Aweeklater,theteamgatheredatthelot,carryingtoolspurchasedwiththeirearnings.Paragraph1Thefollowingday,theteamgot
togethertoshareideasforraisingmoney.01Manyideasweresuggested.02Oneideawasagreed.03Theteammatesmadeeffortsandgotthemoney.Paragraph1Thefollowingday,theteamgottogethertoshareideasforraisingmoney.PlotDesignParagraph1Thefollowingday,theteamgottogethertoshareideasforraisingmoney.
Alotofideasweresuggestedbutnoneseemedpractical.AnideasuddenlycametoMaria’smind,“MaybewecanconvinceMrs.Lorriestoofferussomejobsinthepetshop.”Allherteammatesagreeditwasagreatidea.Thingsturnedoutastheyhadexpected.Thefollowingdayswitnessedtheireffortsandtheygotalotofmoney.交叉敘述0102030405Alotofideasweresuggestedbutnoneseemedpractical.AnideasuddenlycametoMaria’smind,“MaybewecanconvinceMrs.Lorriestoofferussomejobsinthepetshop.”Allherteammatesagreeditwasagreatidea.Thingsturnedoutastheyhadexpected.Thefollowingwitnessedtheireffortsandtheygotalotofmoney.交叉敘述0102030405Alotofideasweresuggestedbutnoneseemedpractical.AnideasuddenlycametoMaria’smind,“MaybewecanconvinceMrs.Lorriestoofferussomejobsinthepetshop.”Allherteammatesagreeditwasagreatidea.Thingsturnedoutastheyhadexpected.Thefollowingwitnessedtheireffortsandtheygotalotofmoney.交叉敘述0102030405Alotofideasweresuggestedbutnoneseemedpractical.AnideasuddenlycametoMaria’smind,“MaybewecanconvinceMrs.Lorriestoofferussomejobsinthepetshop.”Allherteammatesagreeditwasagreatidea.Thingsturnedoutastheyhadexpected.Thefollowingwitnessedtheireffortsandtheygotalotofmoney.交叉敘述0102030405Alotofideasweresuggestedbutnoneseemedpractical.AnideasuddenlycametoMaria’smind,“MaybewecanconvinceMrs.Lorriestoofferussomejobsinthepetshop.”Allherteammatesagreeditwasagreatidea.Thingsturnedoutastheyhadexpected.Thefollowingwitnessedtheireffortsandtheygotalotofmoney.交叉敘述0102030405Alotofideasweresuggestedbutnoneseemedpractical.AnideasuddenlycametoMaria’smind,“MaybewecanconvinceMrs.Lorriestoofferussomejobsinthepetshop.”Allherteammatesagreeditwasagreatidea.Thingsturnedoutastheyhadexpected.Thefollowingwitnessedtheireffortsandtheygotalotofmoney.模擬題足球場Paragraph2Aweeklater,theteamgatheredatthelot,carryingtoolspurchasedwiththeirearnings.Paragraph1Thefollowingday,theteamgottogethertoshareideasforraisingmoney.01Theteamworkedtogetherinthevacantlot.02Anewsoccerfieldappeared.03Paragraph2Aweeklater,theteamgatheredatthelot,carryingtoolspurchasedwiththeirearnings.PlotDesignParagraph2Aweeklater,theteamgatheredatthelot,carryingtoolspurchasedwiththeirearnings.
Mariakickedintoactionwithherteammates.Theyremovedthelargerocksbywheelbarrow.Theythenbegantoflattentheroughsurface.Withalayerofturfaswellasthenets,asoccerfieldwasreadytoappearonthestage.“Wemadeit!”theyexclaimedwithlaughterlingeringaroundthesoccerfield.平行敘述0102030405Mariakickedintoactionwithherteammates.Theyremovedthelargerocksbywheelbarrow.Theythenbegantoflattentheroughsurface.Withalayerofturfaswellasthenets,asoccerfieldwasreadytoappearonthestage.“Wemadeit!”theyexclaimedwithlaughterlingeringaroundthesoccerfield.平行敘述0102030405Mariakickedintoactionwithherteammates.Theyremovedthelargerocksbywheelbarrow.Theythenbegantoflattentheroughsurface.Withalayerofturfaswellasthenets,asoccerfieldwasreadytoappearonthestage.“Wemadeit!”theyexclaimedwithlaughterlingeringaroundthesoccerfield.平行敘述0102030405Mariakickedintoactionwithherteammates.Theyremovedthelargerocksbywheelbarrow.Theythenbegantoflattentheroughsurface.Withalayerofturfaswellasthenets,asoccerfieldwasreadytoappearonthestage.“Wemadeit!”theyexclaimedwithlaughterlingeringaroundthesoccerfield.潤色批改part3詞匯潤色Suddenly,theballflewintoadeepholeattheedgeoftheyard.TheRockersapplaudedexcitedly.Thefollowingdayswitnessedtheireffortsfeeding,washingandwalkingdogs.一般動詞細(xì)節(jié)動詞詞匯潤色Mariakickedintoactionwithherteammates,pluckingouttheweeds,scoopingupdebrisanddepositingitinarentedtruck.Afterremovingthelargerocksbywheelbarrow,theyheldasmallspadeandbegantoflattentheroughsurface.一般動詞細(xì)節(jié)動詞詞匯潤色TheRockersapplaudedexcitedly.CouncilwomanJillsmiled.Marianoddedwith
adeterminedlookonherface.“Wemadeit!”
theyexclaimedwithlaughterlingeringaroundthesoccerfield.情緒狀態(tài)身體表征詞匯潤色“Iwasjustthinkingaboutplayinginabrandnew
soccerfield!”Mariaanswered.Marianoddedwithadetermined
lookonherface.Holdinga
smallspade,...缺少形容豐富形容詞匯潤色TheRockersapplaudedexcitedly.Ourteam
currently
haveto...theywerehandsomely
rewarded副詞單一狀語多樣狀語詞匯潤色Withouttheball
Mariahadtowavegoodbyetohermates.Thenextday,withthecompanyofherfather,Mariaandherteammateswenttothemeetinghall.Marianoddedwithadeterminedlookonherface.theyexclaimed
withlaughter...介詞短語單一狀語多樣狀語詞匯潤色Thatevening,seeingherlowspirits,herfatherasked,...Thinkingforawhile,Marianoddedwithadeterminedlookonherface,...非謂語動詞單一狀語多樣狀語詞匯潤色Seeingthefieldcoveredwithdirt,rubble,andweeds,Mariakickedintoactionwithherteammates,pluckingouttheweeds,scoopingupdebrisanddepositingitinarentedtruck.非謂語動詞單一狀語多樣狀語詞匯潤色Afterremovingthelargerocksbywheelbarrow,theyheldasmallspadeandbegantoflattentheroughsurface.非謂語動詞單一狀語多樣狀語Paragraph1Thefollowingday,theteamgottogethertoshareideasforraisingmoney.Performances,carwashandevenjewelrysaleweresuggestedbutnoneseemedpractical.【1】SuddenlyanideapoppedintoMaria’smind.【2】Shethrilled,herarmsflapping,“MaybewecanconvinceMrs.Lorriestoofferussomejobsinthepetshop.”【3】Allherteammatesnoddedtheirconsentasitmeantfund-raisingbyattendingtocutedogs.Thingsturnedoutastheyhadexpected.【4】Thefollowingdayswitnessedseveralsmallfiguresfeeding,washingandwalkingdogs,forwhichtheywerehandsomelyrewarded.細(xì)節(jié)動作popin描寫突然又了一個想法Paragraph1SuddenlyanideapoppedintoMaria’smind.01細(xì)節(jié)動作herarmsflapping寫出Maria動作身體表征shrill,herarmsflapping描寫了Maria激動的心情多樣狀語herarmsflapping為獨立主格作狀語Shethrilled,herarmsflapping,“MaybewecanconvinceMrs.Lorriestoofferussomejobsinthepetshop.”02Paragraph1細(xì)節(jié)動作nod描寫隊員的動作身體表征nodtheirconsent描寫大家都一致贊同Allherteammatesnoddedtheirconsentasitmeantfund-raisingbyattendingtocutedogs.03Paragraph1細(xì)節(jié)動作feeding,washing,walkingdogs描寫了隊員為籌錢做的事多樣狀語handsomely副詞作狀語Thefollowingdayswitnessedseveralsmallfiguresfeeding,washingandwalkingdogs,forwhichtheywerehandsomelyrewarded.04Paragraph1Paragraph2Aweeklater,theteamgatheredatthelot,carryingtoolspurchasedwiththeirearnings.【1】Seeingthefieldcoveredwithdirt,rubble,andweeds,Mariakickedintoactionwithherteammates,pluckingouttheweeds,scoopingupdebrisanddepositingitinarentedtruck.【2】Afterremovingthelargerocksbywheelbarrow,theyheldasmallspadeandbegantoflattentheroughsurface.【3】Withalayerofturfrolledoutaswellasthenetssetup,asoccerfieldwasreadytopresentitself.【4】“Wemadeit!”theyexclaimedwithlaughterlingeringaroundthesoccerfield.細(xì)節(jié)動作kick,pluck,scoop,deposit描寫了Maria清理操場的動作身體表征kick,pluck,scoop,deposit描寫了Maria清理操場的認(rèn)真多樣狀語plucking,scooping,depositing現(xiàn)在分詞做狀語Paragraph2Seeingthefieldcoveredwithdirt,rubble,andweeds,Mariakickedintoactionwithherteammates,pluckingouttheweeds,scoopingupdebrisanddepositingitinarentedtruck.01Paragraph2Afterremovingthelargerocksbywheelbarrow,theyheldasmallspadeandbegantoflattentheroughsurface.02細(xì)節(jié)動作remove,hold,flatten描寫了大家的動作身體表征remove,hold,flatten描寫了大家清理操場的認(rèn)真多樣狀語removingalargerocks現(xiàn)在分詞作狀語Paragraph2Withalayerofturfrolledoutaswellasthenetssetup,asoccerfieldwasreadytopresentitself.03細(xì)節(jié)動作rollout,setup描寫了草皮被鋪、網(wǎng)被拉起來的細(xì)節(jié)動作多樣狀語with結(jié)構(gòu)作狀語Paragraph2“Wemadeit!”theyexclaimedwithlaughterlingeringaroundthesoccerfield.04身體特征exclaim描寫了隊員的激動多樣狀語with結(jié)構(gòu)作狀語Performances,carwashandevenjewelrysaleweresuggestedbutnoneseemedpractical.SuddenlyanideapoppedintoMaria’smind.0102復(fù)合句簡單句Paragraph1Shethrilled,herarmsflapping,
“MaybewecanconvinceMrs.Lorriestoofferussomejobsinthepetshop.”Allherteammatesnoddedtheirconsentasitmea
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