不能對(duì)愛人說的話.doc

不能對(duì)愛人說的話 1.ItsyourfaultSometimes,afinancialdecisiongoesbad,oneofyourchildrengetsintroubleatschool,orsomehouseholdcalamityoccurs.Andknowthisthingsdogobadfromtimetotimeinanyrelationship.Decisionsturnoutwrong.StuffhappensButtheblamegameneverworksItalienates.Itdivides.Itmostcertainlyunderminestrustandopenneinyourrelationship. 1.那是你的錯(cuò)有時(shí)會(huì)做出錯(cuò)誤的經(jīng)濟(jì)開支決定你的個(gè)孩子在學(xué)校闖禍了或者出了一些家庭災(zāi)難你需要知道這些事情在任何家庭中都屢次發(fā)生做出錯(cuò)誤的決定自然就發(fā)生了這樣的事但是“責(zé)備”絲毫不會(huì)奏效它只會(huì)疏遠(yuǎn)和離間你們而且毫無疑問地會(huì)傷害到你們之間的信任和坦誠(chéng) 2.ItoldyousoTrustusonthisthesefourwordsarerarelyeverusedinsuccessfulmarriages.Thiskindofeuppancehasnoplaceinalovingrelationship.Thereisnoneedtoremindyourspousethatyouwererightaboutsomethingandtheywerewrong.Talkaboutwastedcriticism 2.我早告訴過你相信我在成功的婚姻里幾乎不會(huì)出現(xiàn)這幾個(gè)字在愛情中不應(yīng)有這種類似于“幸災(zāi)樂禍”的責(zé)難你完全沒有必要去提醒你的愛人關(guān)于一些事你是對(duì)的而TA是錯(cuò)的那些批評(píng)沒有任何意義 3.SayingIamupsetwithyouaboutthisorthat.inapublicsetting.Tellingprivatesecretsorcriticizingyourspouseinpublicortosomeoneelsecandopermanentdamagetothetrustinyourrelationship.Trueornotitdoesntmatter.Keepprivatethingsprivate. 3.在公共場(chǎng)合就說：“我真受不你這樣或那樣”在別人面前揭你愛人的短或批評(píng)將會(huì)對(duì)你們感情中的信任造成永久性的傷害對(duì)錯(cuò)并不重要家里的事家里解決 4.Whydoyoualways.Focusingonyourspousesweakneratherthanbuildingontheirstrengthswillonlyincreasetheirweakneanddiminishtheirstrength.Thishabitcansendarelationshipintoadownwardspiralifweaknessesarepointedoutandmentedupon.Succedoesbreedsuccess.Stickwiththestrengthsanddontfocusonweakness. 4.你老是?總盯著你愛人的缺點(diǎn)而不是放大TA的優(yōu)點(diǎn)只會(huì)讓TA的優(yōu)點(diǎn)更少缺點(diǎn)更多指出并批評(píng)愛人的缺點(diǎn)這一毛病會(huì)讓你們的感情每況愈下成功孕育成功多注意對(duì)方的優(yōu)點(diǎn)不要總盯著缺點(diǎn) 5.Askforyourspousesopinionandthendotheopposite.Wehaveheardfrommanyangrydivorcedoralmostdivorcedcouplesthatthisisthegreatestindicatorofdisrespect.Ifyouaskwhereyourspousewantstogotodinnerandhe/shesuggestsacoupleofplaces,thenyouselectadifferentone,byyouractionsyousaid,Idonotrespectyouropinionanddontcarewhatyouthink 5.問過你愛人的意見卻反其道而行從很多憤怒的離婚的或即要離婚的人們口中我們都有所耳聞這是最大的“不尊重”如果你問你的愛人想去兒吃晚飯她說了幾個(gè)地方而你卻挑了一個(gè)別的你是在用行動(dòng)告訴好：“我不尊重你的意見也不在乎你想” Sincesayingnegativeorhurtfulthingscanbedamagingtoalovingrelationship,itiswisetotakeextracautionbeforeengagin