SAT作文批改實(shí)例解析-智課教育出國考試.pdf

智 課 網(wǎng) S A T 備 考 資 料 SAT作文批改實(shí)例解析 智課教育出國考試 下面是一篇SAT作文 我們來看一下專業(yè)的老師對于這篇文章的批 改 好的地方大家可以吸取其精華 剔除其糟粕 要時刻記住 邏輯和 表達(dá)是一篇優(yōu)秀文章的核心 Topic Is the way something seems to be not always the same as it actually is Original Beneath the surface usually lies the truth which may turns out to be unexpected and subversive To those who only see one facet of an event things invariably seem simple and single sided But to those who are perceivable enough to explore things underneath the surface there is always a however One prime example is the America Stock Market Crash in 1929 In the dazzling twentieth the American bull market was so financially inviting that even the American middle class poured its money into the stock market like the New York Stock Exchange However on October 4 1929 the American economy came to an abrupt halt when the New York Stock Exchange crashed The previous widespread optimism then shifted to a desperate pessimism shading the whole nation as nightmare Consequently the Great Depression befell leaving American economy crippling However the American president Roosevelt insightfully staged a series of measures to save the falling economy Just like a beam of sunlight expels the black cloud in the sky Roosevelt brought a beam of hope to American people saving the whole nation from the suicidal pessimism Some may deem the Great Depression as an outright catastrophe to America Yet beneath the bad impacts it heaved upon the country we may find many benefits resulted It is after the Great Depression that American people began to hold dear the value of prudence when investing in the stock market They are more likely to avoid being overwhelmed by the seemingly sweeping optimism of current financial situations The prophets on economy formerly imprudent and arbitrary are learning to be more careful and perspicacious when making predictions to the public Thus from this disaster American people benefit from the financial fiasco and forged some new and beneficial habits that they previously lacked In addition the event I went through also supports this thesis In the beginning of my first high school semester I met my mathematics teacher an old man with stony face and low key voice He was by the first glance cold and uninteresting Nevertheless notonly he taught very good math but he also owned strong charisma such as humor and friendliness He has a wide breadth of knowledge so by his citing poems to illustrate mathematical theories we comprehend them better Henceforth I came to realize that that my first impression of him was totally wrong and unreliable Every coin has two side We learn facts though exploring carefully coupled with analyzing evenhandedly Only by the correct means can we put tings in right perspective 419 words Topic Is the way something seems to be not always the same as it actually is 原題 是否有些事情并非跟它事實(shí)上是一樣的 立論 有些事情的確跟它事實(shí)上是一樣的 駁論 有些事情并非跟它事實(shí)上是一樣的 相對好寫 找出反例即 可 Revised by Luke Beneath the surface usually lies the truth which may turns out to be unexpected and subversive To those who only see one facet of an event things invariably seem simple and single sided However to those who are perceivable enough to explore things underneath the surface there is always a BUT 首段不錯 我只做小改動 One prime example is the America Stock Market Crash in 1929 原來此處這句基本沒有用 且羅嗦 On October 4th the American economy came to an abrupt turning point from soar to slump 此處應(yīng)該強(qiáng)調(diào)是從暴漲到暴跌的轉(zhuǎn)折點(diǎn) 原來用的halt僅僅是停 滯 不足以表達(dá)轉(zhuǎn)折點(diǎn) when the New York Stock Exchange crashed The previous widespread optimism then shifted to a desperate pessimism shading the whole nation as nightmare 此處原句是Consequently the Great Depression befell leaving American economy crippling 無用 故刪除 When the Great Depression befell almost all were very pessimistic about American economy Was the situation really as it seemed to be 此處應(yīng)強(qiáng)調(diào)人們普遍看衰美國經(jīng)濟(jì) 然后反問 但事實(shí)是這樣嗎 引導(dǎo) 入原題的立場 President Roosevelt said no 以此方法跟上段的設(shè)問呼應(yīng) insightfully staged a series of measures to save the falling economy Just like a beam of sunlight expels the black cloud in the sky Roosevelt brought a beam of hope to American people saving the whole nation from the suicidal pessimism此處的溢美之詞實(shí)屬多余 He staged a series of measures to stimulate the falling economy and regulate the financial market These measures and regulations have ensured a sound and steady growth for the next seventy years In this sense the Depression is not the same as it seems to be American economy Some may deem the Great Depression as an outright catastrophe to America Yet beneath the bad impacts it heaved upon the country we may find many benefits resulted It is after the Great Depression that American people began to hold dear the value of prudence when investing in the stock market They are more likely to avoid being overwhelmed by the seemingly sweeping optimism of current financial situations The prophets on economy formerly imprudent and arbitrary are learning to be more careful and perspicacious when making predictions to the public Thus from this disaster American people benefit from the financial fiasco and forged some new and beneficial habits that they previously lacked 有了上述表述 此段全部沒有用 具體細(xì)節(jié)根本不需細(xì)說 這個例子應(yīng)該重點(diǎn)強(qiáng)調(diào)在股災(zāi)后的悲觀氣氛中 其實(shí)存在機(jī)會 股 災(zāi)后的措施保證了美國經(jīng)濟(jì)長期穩(wěn)定發(fā)展 還可以據(jù)汶川地震的例子 災(zāi)后重建對當(dāng)?shù)亟?jīng)濟(jì)有利 防震減災(zāi)經(jīng)驗(yàn)增加 又用在玉樹地震 這個 立場類似 塞翁失馬焉知非福 In addition the event I went through also supports this thesis In the beginning of my first high school semester I met my mathematics teacher an old man with stony face and low key voice He was by the first glance cold and uninteresting Nevertheless not only he taught very good math but he also owned strong charisma such as humor and friendliness He has a wide breadth of knowledge so by his citing poems to illustrate mathematical theories we comprehend them better Henceforth I came to realize that that my first impression of him was totally wrong and unreliable Every coin has two side 盡管此句較土 還是可以用 We learn facts though exploring carefully coupled with analyzing evenhandedly Only by the correct means can we put tings in right perspective Word count Beneath the surface usually lies the truth which may turns out to be unexpected and subversive To those who only see one facet of an event things invariably seem simple and single sided However to those who are perceivable enough to explore things underneath the surface there is always a BUT One prime example is the America Stock Market Crash in 1929 On October 4th the American economy came to an abrupt turning point from soar to slump when the New York Stock Exchange crashed The previous widespread optimism then shifted to a desperate pessimism shading the whole nation as nightmare When the Great Depression befell almost all were very pessimistic about American economy Was the situation really as it seemed to be President Roosevelt said no He staged a series of measures to stimulate the falling economy and regulate the financial market These measures and regulations have ensured a sound and steady growth for the next seventy years In this sense the Depression is not the same as it seems to be In