1分鐘的英語(yǔ)笑話演講

1、1分鐘的英語(yǔ)笑話演講（文章一）：英語(yǔ)一分鐘幽默演講稿 幽默英語(yǔ)演講稿 love your mother 愛你的母親 why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom?你為什么哭?一個(gè)小男孩問他的媽媽. because im a woman, she told him. 因?yàn)槲沂桥?她告訴他. i dont understand, he said.我不明白.他回答 his mom just hugged him and said, and you never will, but thats o.k. 媽媽擁抱了他說,你永遠(yuǎn)也不會(huì)明白,但沒關(guān)系.late

2、r the little boy asked his father, why does mom seem to cry for no reason?.后來小男孩問他的父親媽媽為什么似乎在無(wú)緣無(wú)故的哭泣? all women cry for no reason, was all his dad could say.所有的女人都會(huì) 常常沒有原因地哭泣,這是他的父親唯一可以解釋的.the little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. 等到小男孩長(zhǎng)大,成了男人的時(shí)候, 他仍然奇怪媽媽為什么哭.finally he

3、 put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked god, why do women cry so easily? 最后他把這件事禱告給,他問,為什么女人容易哭泣?god answered. 回答: when i made woman, i decided she had to be special. i made her shouldersstrong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet, 當(dāng)我創(chuàng)造女人的時(shí)候,我決定把她造的很特別, 我讓她的雙肩強(qiáng)壯的足以能夠承擔(dān)整個(gè)

4、世界,但是, 卻讓她的雙臂溫柔的足夠去安慰他人. i gave her the inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection even from her own children.我給她內(nèi)在的力量去忍受生產(chǎn)的劇痛, 也讓她有勇氣承受無(wú)數(shù)的傷害,甚至這些傷害有時(shí)會(huì)來自于自己的孩子.i gave her a hardnessthat allows her to keep going and take careof her family and friends,even when everyone else gives up, throu

5、gh sickness and fatigue without我給她頑強(qiáng),讓她能夠不斷地前進(jìn), 并且照顧自己的家人和朋友,甚至當(dāng)每個(gè)人都放棄的時(shí)候,她卻能夠堅(jiān)強(qiáng)地在疾病和勞累之時(shí)毫無(wú)怨言. i gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances. even when her child has hurt her badly. she has the very special power to make a childs boo-boo feel better and to quell a t

6、eenagers anxieties and fears.我給她內(nèi)心的敏感,讓她在任何環(huán)境下都深愛著自己的孩子.甚至在他們深深傷害她的時(shí) 候 她用那特別的力量，讓年幼孩子的在受傷的時(shí)候感到安慰，也能夠讓年輕的子女消除緊 張與恐懼 i gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faultsand i fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.我給她力量關(guān)心她的丈夫，盡管他會(huì)犯錯(cuò)我用男人的肋骨創(chuàng)造了女人，使女人可以保 護(hù)男人的心臟 i gave her wisdom to know t

7、hat a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. 我給她智慧，讓她知道一個(gè)好丈夫永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)傷害他的妻子，但有時(shí)候會(huì)試煉她堅(jiān)定的永 遠(yuǎn)跟隨自己丈夫的能力與決心for all of this hard work,i also gave her a tear to shed.it is hers to use whenever needed and it is her only weakness.whe

8、n you see her cry, tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even thoughshe may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good.因?yàn)檫@些種種的困 難， 我也同樣賜她流下眼淚， 這是當(dāng)她在需要時(shí)可以使用的，這是她唯一的軟弱之處當(dāng)你看到她哭泣的時(shí)候，告訴她你有多么地愛她， 告訴她她為所有人所做的一切，即使這樣她可能還是會(huì)哭泣，但你會(huì)使她的心里得到安慰she is special! please send this to

9、 women you know, and those with mothers,sisters, and special women in their lives. 她是獨(dú)特的！ 請(qǐng)把這個(gè)信息傳遞給你認(rèn)識(shí)的女人， 有母親，姐妹和特別的女性在他們生命里的人but, also send this to men so they will understand about what a wonderful thing a woman is.（文章二）：英語(yǔ)演講稿1分鐘 親愛的同學(xué)們： 你們好！ 我想請(qǐng)問大家，如果我打開地圖，請(qǐng)你為我指出，你最喜歡哪個(gè)國(guó)家？也許你會(huì)指自由 自在的美國(guó)，也許你會(huì)指浪漫的法

10、國(guó)，也許你還會(huì)指神秘的埃及。可是在我們的心中,卻永遠(yuǎn) 忘不了一個(gè)令人驕傲的國(guó)度,那就是我們的祖國(guó)中國(guó)! 我們偉大的祖國(guó)是最大的國(guó)家之 一。它的人口超過12億。xx是他的首都。想必大家都知道，中國(guó)歷史悠久，在xx以 前，我們?cè)且粋€(gè)很軟弱貧窮的國(guó)家，這些都已成為過去，中國(guó)現(xiàn)在是一個(gè)強(qiáng)大的發(fā)展中國(guó) 家。事實(shí)證明，中國(guó)是強(qiáng)大的不可戰(zhàn)勝的。如果有人問起，我會(huì)自豪地說，我是中國(guó)人。中國(guó)我為你驕傲。 謝謝大家，我的演講完畢！ hello, everyone 自我介紹 id like to ask you to point out your favorite country if here is a map

11、. maybe you will choose the united states for the freedom; maybe you will choose french for the romantic. id like to say that these are nice countries for traveling. but there is one country in the bottom of my heart, and i will be proud of her forever, that s china-my motherland!our great motherlan

12、d is one of the largest countries in the world. it has a population of over thirteen hundred million. beijing is its capital.its needless to say that china has a long history.now china is a strong and developing country. facts have proved that china is a powerful, invincible. if anyone asked, we wil

13、l proudly say that i am chinese.i am proud of you-china. i am a primary school student now; i know that all of us are the future of our nation. so, what we need to do is to study hard step by step, listen carefully in the class and do homework everyday so that we can dedicate ourselves to our nation

14、 when we grown up! thats my speech! thank you for listening.（文章三）：幽默英語(yǔ)演講 小短文(2分鐘的)as food is to the body, so is learning to the mind. our bodies grow and muscles develop with the intake of adequate nutritious food. likewise, we should keep learning day by day to maintain our keen mental power and ex

15、pand our intellectual capacity. constant learning supplies us with inexhaustible fuel for driving us to sharpen our power of reasoning, analysis, and judgment. learning incessantly is the surest way to keep pace with the times in the information age, and an infallible warrant of success in times of

16、uncertainty.學(xué)習(xí)之于心靈，就像食物之于身體一樣。攝取了適量的營(yíng)養(yǎng)食物，我們的身體得以生長(zhǎng) 而肌肉得以發(fā)達(dá)。同樣地，我們應(yīng)該日復(fù)一日不斷地學(xué)習(xí)以保持我們敏銳的心智能力，并擴(kuò) 充我們的智力容量。不斷的學(xué)習(xí)提供我們用不盡的燃料，來驅(qū)使我們磨利我們的推理、分析 和判斷的能力。持續(xù)的學(xué)習(xí)是在信息時(shí)代中跟時(shí)代并駕齊驅(qū)的最穩(wěn)當(dāng)?shù)姆椒ǎ彩窃谧儎?dòng)的 世代中成功的可靠保證。 一旦學(xué)習(xí)停止，單調(diào)貧乏的生活就開始了。視學(xué)校為汲取知識(shí)的唯一場(chǎng)所是種常見的謬 誤。相反地，學(xué)習(xí)應(yīng)該是一種無(wú)終止的歷程，從生到死。由于世界一直快速地在變動(dòng)，只要 學(xué)習(xí)停頓數(shù)日就將使人落后。更糟的是，蟄伏在我們潛意識(shí)深處的獸性本能就

17、會(huì)復(fù)活，削弱我們追求高貴理想的意志，弱化我們掃除成功障礙的決心，而且扼殺我們凈化我們?nèi)烁竦挠?望。缺少學(xué)習(xí)將不可避免地導(dǎo)致心靈的停滯，甚至更糟地，使其僵化。因此，為了保持心理 年輕，我們必須將學(xué)習(xí)當(dāng)作一生的事業(yè)。 2heavy schoolwork【課業(yè)繁重】in my opinion, the schoolwork now being assigned to high school students is too heavy. while it is true that students need to study, they need other things as well if the

18、y are to grow into healthy and well-rounded adults. high should be allowed more time for play. playing is not wasting time, as some think. it gives them physical exercise, and also exercise their imagination. which tends to be stifled by too much study. finally, the pressure put on high school stude

19、nts by excessive schoolwork can cause serious stress, which is unhealthy physically and mentally. i do not advocate the elimination of schoolwork. i do think, however, that a reduction of the current heavy load would be beneficial to students and to the society as a whole. 我認(rèn)為目前高中生的課業(yè)實(shí)在太重了，雖然說學(xué)生的確應(yīng)當(dāng)

20、念書，但是要想長(zhǎng)大成為健 全的人，他門還需要一些其它的東西，所以應(yīng)該給高中生較多從事娛樂的時(shí)間。娛樂并不如 某些人所想的，是在浪費(fèi)時(shí)間，它可以讓學(xué)生鍛煉身體，發(fā)揮被繁重課業(yè)扼殺的想象力。此 外，繁重的課業(yè)加諸在高中生身上的壓力可能引起嚴(yán)重的情緒緊張，這對(duì)身心都有害。我并 非主張廢除學(xué)校課業(yè)，但是我認(rèn)為減輕目前繁重的課業(yè)對(duì)于學(xué)生和整個(gè)社會(huì)都是有益的。 3time【時(shí)間】 lost time is never found again. this is something which i learned very clearly last semester. i spent so much time

21、 fooling around that my grades began to suffer. i finally realized that something had to be done. it was time for a change. now i have a new plan for using my time wisely. i have set my alarm clock ahead half an hour. this will give me a head start on the day. i have also decided to keep a log of wh

22、at i do and when i do it. looking back on what ive done will give me some ideas on how to reorganize my time. 時(shí)光一去不復(fù)返，這是我上學(xué)期清楚學(xué)到 的教訓(xùn)。我浪費(fèi)很多時(shí)間四處游蕩，以致于我的成績(jī)開始退步。最后我終于了解到我必須有 所作為；該是痛改前非的時(shí)候了?，F(xiàn)在我有一個(gè)明智運(yùn)用時(shí)間的新方法。我已將鬧鐘早撥半小時(shí)，這將使我這一天的作息 提前開始。我也決定將我所做的一切及做這些事的時(shí)間記錄下來?；仡櫸宜龅氖虑闀?huì)啟發(fā) 我如何重新安排我的時(shí)間。 4work and play【工作與娛樂】

23、what i usually do to relax after school is jogging and seeing movies. usually i dont spare time for exercise, but i value the physical education class at school. jogging several rounds in the field certainly relieves the days pressure. on weekends, ill catch the morning movie for my visual enjoyment

24、. i feel revived and energetic for another weeks work-load.工作與娛樂并不互相沖突，事實(shí)上，它們之間的關(guān)系還相輔相成。有句格言說：整日工 作而沒有休閑娛樂，會(huì)令人變得沉悶乏味。被工作重?fù)?dān)壓得喘不過氣來的生活，將使你一事 無(wú)成，因?yàn)槟銓?duì)一成不變的例行公事感到厭煩。由另一方面來說，適度的娛樂活動(dòng)能提供 各種管道，來渲泄你被壓抑的情緒，減輕單調(diào)生活中的緊張與不悅。 放學(xué)之后，我最常做的休閑活動(dòng)，便是慢跑與看電影。通常我并不特地?fù)艹鰰r(shí)間來做運(yùn) 動(dòng)，但是我很重視學(xué)校的體育課。在操場(chǎng)上慢跑幾圈，無(wú)疑地可以減輕一天的壓力。在周末 時(shí)，我都去看早場(chǎng)電

25、影，享受視覺饗宴。如此一來，我將有如再生般的充沛活力，去面對(duì)下一星期的工作量。 5my first job【我的第一份工作】 my first job was at a cramming school. it was three years ago when i just graduated from junior high school and finished the entrance examination. since i had nothing to do that summer, i decided to find a job, tasting the joy of indepen

26、dence. i was responsible for answering the telephone and taking the message. i worked eight hours a day, six days a week. the work was not difficult nor heavy to me and i guess i did well. the most delighted thing was perhaps that i could spend the money i earned all by myself.我的第一份工作是在一家補(bǔ)習(xí)班做事。那是三年前

27、我剛從國(guó)中畢業(yè)，考完聯(lián)考時(shí)的事了。 既然我那整個(gè)夏天都閑著沒事，倒不如找份差事，嘗嘗獨(dú)立賺錢的快樂。 我負(fù)責(zé)接聽電話且紀(jì)錄留言的工作。我一天工作八小時(shí)，一星期工作六天。那份工作對(duì) 我而言既不困難亦不沉重，所以我想我還滿稱職的。而最令人快樂的事大概莫過于花全部由 自己賺來的錢了！ 6my favorite sports【我最喜愛的運(yùn)動(dòng)】 sports help everyone to keep healthy, happy, and efficient. so i pay special attention to games, especially table-tennis. table ten

28、nis is my favorite game. i play it almost every day. table-tennis is an ideal game us because it brings the whole body into action. it strengthens our muscles, expands our lungs, promotes the circulation of the blood, and causes a healthy action of the skin. besides, it is very amusing and does not

29、cost us much money. table-tennis is very moderate; it is not so rough as football. it is an indoor game and can be played even on rainy days. thus, it is my favorite kind of exercise. 運(yùn)動(dòng)能幫助每一個(gè)人保持健康、快樂和有效率。所以我特別重視運(yùn)動(dòng)，特別是桌球，桌 球是我最喜歡的運(yùn)動(dòng)。我?guī)缀趺刻焱妗?桌球?qū)ξ覀兌?，是一?xiàng)理想的運(yùn)動(dòng)，因?yàn)樗梢允刮覀內(nèi)磉\(yùn)動(dòng)，它可以增強(qiáng)我們的 肌肉，擴(kuò)張我們的肺部，促進(jìn)血液循環(huán)，并且

30、使肌膚產(chǎn)生健康作用，此外，它很有趣而且所 費(fèi)不多。桌球是相當(dāng)溫和適中的，它不像足球那么粗野。它是一種室內(nèi)運(yùn)動(dòng)，甚至在下雨天 也能玩。因此，桌球是我最喜愛的一種運(yùn)動(dòng)。（文章四）：一分鐘英語(yǔ)演講稿范文 一分鐘英語(yǔ)演講稿范文my family there are three people in my family. im a boy(girl). im ten years old. my dad is a worker. my mother is a worker too. and i have a dog. its names john. it alaways play with me. and

31、i also love him. this is my family. do you like us? 我的家 我家有三個(gè)人.我是一個(gè)男孩(女孩).我今年十歲.我的爸爸是個(gè)工人.我的媽媽也是個(gè)工 人.我有一條狗.它的名字叫john.它總是和我一起玩.我也愛它.這是我的家.你喜歡我們嗎? my hobby im a boy. my hobby is playing basketball. i often play basketball with my best friend after class. i think its really fun and exciting. but my moth

32、er told me get home early. this is my hobby. what are your hobby? can you tell me? 我的愛好（文章二）：一分鐘英語(yǔ)演講稿 Apple An apple a day keeps the doctor away. It shows that apple has a lot of health benifits, but it is benificial in more ways than that. Apple is sweet and juicy. It ease my thirst in summer.Apple

33、 is healthy.There is plenty of vitamine and other nutritions in apple.And whats more important is that apple is accesible for everyone. We can buy some in markets and they wont cost much. I eat an apple everyday and that helps me stay healthy. I love apple.（文章三）：幽默英語(yǔ)演講小短文(2分鐘的)11 幽默英語(yǔ)演講小短文(2分鐘的) As

34、food is to the body, so is learning to the mind. Our bodies grow and muscles develop with the intake of adequate nutritious food. Likewise, we should keep learning day by day to maintain our keen mental power and expand our intellectual capacity. Constant learning supplies us with inexhaustible fuel

35、 for driving us to sharpen our power of reasoning, analysis, and judgment. Learning incessantly is the surest way to keep pace with the times in the information age, and an infallible warrant of success in times of uncertainty. Once learning stops, vegetation sets in. It is a mon fallacy to regard s

36、chool as the only workshop for the acquisition of knowledge. On the contrary, learning should be a never-ending process, from the cradle to the grave. With the world ever changing so fast, the cease from learning for just a few days will make a person lag behind. What;s worse, the animalistic xxtinc

37、t dormant deep in our subconsciousness will e to life, weakening our will to pursue our noble ideal, sapping our determination to sweep away obstacles to our success and strangling our desire for the refinement of our character. Lack of learning will inevitably lead to the stagnation of the mind, or

38、 even worse, its fossilization, Therefore, to stay mentally young, we have to take learning as a lifelong career. 學(xué)習(xí)之于心靈，就像食物之于身體一樣。攝取了適量的營(yíng)養(yǎng)食物，我們的身體得以生長(zhǎng)而肌肉得以發(fā)達(dá)。同樣地，我們應(yīng)該日復(fù)一日不斷地學(xué)習(xí)以保持我們敏銳的心智能力，并擴(kuò)充我們的智力容量。不斷的學(xué)習(xí)提供我們用不盡的燃料，來驅(qū)使我們磨利我們的推理、分析和判斷的能力。持續(xù)的學(xué)習(xí)是在信息時(shí)代中跟時(shí)代并駕齊驅(qū)的最穩(wěn)當(dāng)?shù)姆椒?，也是在變?dòng)的世代中成功的可靠保證。 一旦學(xué)習(xí)停止，單調(diào)貧乏的生活就開

39、始了。視學(xué)校為汲取知識(shí)的唯一場(chǎng)所是種常見的謬誤。相反地，學(xué)習(xí)應(yīng)該是一種無(wú)終止的歷程，從生到死。由于世界一直快速地在變動(dòng)，只要學(xué)習(xí)停頓數(shù)日就將使人落后。更糟的是，蟄伏在我們潛意識(shí)深處的獸性本能就會(huì)復(fù)活，削弱我們追求高貴理想的意志，弱化我們掃除成功障礙的決心，而且扼殺我們凈化我們?nèi)烁竦挠?。缺少學(xué)習(xí)將不可避免地導(dǎo)致心靈的停滯，甚至更糟地，使其僵化。因此，為了保持心理年輕，我們必須將學(xué)習(xí)當(dāng)作一生的事業(yè)。 2heavy schoolwork【課業(yè)繁重】 In my opinion, the schoolwork now being assigned to high school students is

40、 too heavy. While it is true that students need to study, they need other things as well if they are to grow into healthy and well-rounded adults. High should be allowed more time for play. Playing is not wasting time, as some think. It gives them physical exercise, and also exercise their imaginati

41、on. Which tends to be stifled by too much study. Finally, the pressure put on high school students by excessive schoolwork can causeserious stress, which is unhealthy physically and mentally. I do not advocate the elimination of schoolwork. I do think, however, that a reduction of the current heavy

42、load would be beneficial to students and to the society as a whole. 我認(rèn)為目前高中生的課業(yè)實(shí)在太重了，雖然說學(xué)生的確應(yīng)當(dāng)念書，但是要想長(zhǎng)大成為健全的人，他門還需要一些其它的東西，所以應(yīng)該給高中生較多從事娛樂的時(shí)間。娛樂并不如某些人所想的，是在浪費(fèi)時(shí)間，它可以讓學(xué)生鍛煉身體，發(fā)揮被繁重課業(yè)扼殺的想象力。此外，繁重的課業(yè)加諸在高中生身上的壓力可能引起嚴(yán)重的情緒緊張，這對(duì)身心都有害。我并非主張廢除學(xué)校課業(yè)，但是我認(rèn)為減輕目前繁重的課業(yè)對(duì)于學(xué)生和整個(gè)社會(huì)都是有益的。 3Time【時(shí)間】 Lost time is never found

43、 again. This is something which I learned very clearly last semester. I spent so much time fooling around that my grades began to suffer. I finally realized that something had to be done. It was time for a change. Now I have a new plan for using my time wisely. I have set my alarm clock ahead half a

44、n hour. This will give me a head start on the day. I have also decided to keep a log of what I do and when I do it. Looking back on what Ive done will give me some ideas on how to reorganize my time. 時(shí)光一去不復(fù)返，這是我上學(xué)期清楚學(xué)到的教訓(xùn)。我浪費(fèi)很多時(shí)間四處游蕩，以致于我的成績(jī)開始退步。最后我終于了解到我必須有所作為；該是痛改前非的時(shí)候了。 現(xiàn)在我有一個(gè)明智運(yùn)用時(shí)間的新方法。我已將鬧鐘早撥半小

45、時(shí)，這將使我這一天的作息提前開始。我也決定將我所做的一切及做這些事的時(shí)間記錄下來?；仡櫸宜龅氖虑闀?huì)啟發(fā)我如何重新安排我的時(shí)間。 4Work and Play【工作與娛樂】 Work and play do not contradict each other; in fact, they plement each other. As the saying goes, All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.A life burdened with work leads you nowhere, for you would get tired and bored with your daily routine