高考北京卷作文閱卷分析及不同檔次作文展示高考作文閱卷老師提供

1、 Last week, we hold a class meeting to discuss if we should have a spring outing. Since we have already in grade three, all of us agreed that we need one to relax ourselves. Then, we talked excitingly about where we would go. Somebody said hed like to an amusement part, some people preferred paddlin

2、g on a lack, and I suggested to climb a hill and have a picnic. Finally, I convinced the others. On a sunny day, we set out to Xiang Shan Park. There are colourful flowers, soft green grass all along the road to the top of the hill. So we had a really wonderful walking experience. But once we reach

3、the top we were shocked by the terrible environment. Plastic bags, bottles, papers and other things spreaded everywhere! That time we had no excitement but angry and disappointment in heart. So we decide to clean up the whole hill. We picked up every litter and separated them in “can recycle” and “c

4、ant recycle”. Then, we threw them into particular bin. Although we didnt have a picnic as we wish. But we had a quiet meaningful day! But once we reach the top we were shocked by the terrible environment. Plastic bags, bottles, papers and other things spreaded everywhere! That time we had no excitem

5、ent but angry and disappointment in heart. So we decide to clean up the whole hill. We picked up every litter and separated them in “can recycle” and “cant recycle”. Then, we threw them into particular bin. Although we didnt have a picnic as we wish. But we had a quiet meaningful day!內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)齊全，細(xì)節(jié)描述連貫流暢

6、，但有較明顯的語內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)齊全，細(xì)節(jié)描述連貫流暢，但有較明顯的語法和用詞錯(cuò)誤。法和用詞錯(cuò)誤。14 Greatly comes the spring. As the wind softly blows, it brings back the vitality to the great outdoor. Students in our class were excited, too, and eager to have a spring outing in the weekend last week. A heated discussion was held. Some students sugge

7、sted we go boating, some insisted that going hiking was the best idea, while some thought the amusement park was of more fun. Finally, we decided to go hiking in the mountains on a sunny day. The flowers were blooming happily and sout their welcome to us. With excitement in our heart, we climbed the

8、 mountain easily and reached the peak soon. To our surprise, wheat we found on the peak was not only beautiful scenery, but also rubbish here and there. Feeling so bad for the environment spoilt, we changed our plan and began picking up the rubbish. Afterward, we brought the rubbish down the mountai

9、n and sorted them into “can be recycled” and “cant be recycled”. We finally dropped them into different bins set at the foot of the mountain. Fun as we had during the trip, we still felt so sorry for the ruined nature. I think it is everyones duty to take cared of the environment so that we can cont

10、ribute to a better loving and relaxing space for others. Fun as we had during the trip, we still felt so sorry for the ruined nature. I think it is everyones duty to take cared of the environment so that we can contribute to a better loving and relaxing space for others. 內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)齊全，連貫，恰當(dāng)?shù)厥褂昧诉B接成份，所用句內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)

11、齊全，連貫，恰當(dāng)?shù)厥褂昧诉B接成份，所用句式和詞匯較豐富，體現(xiàn)了較強(qiáng)地語言運(yùn)用能力。式和詞匯較豐富，體現(xiàn)了較強(qiáng)地語言運(yùn)用能力。18 Last week, there was a heated discussion on where to go for Spring Outing. Some students wanted to go amusement park, some considered to go boating and others gave their ideas for climbing. Eventually, we decided to take a climb. The n

12、ext day, all of us prepared well, with our enjoyment, each of us climbed the mountain full of energy. However, when we got to the top of the mountain, what covered our eyes first was the mass of rubbish. It was really a pity that the rubbish destroyed a beautiful scenery. At last we made up our mind

13、 to pick up the rubbish. After a while, with everyones effort, the rubbish was cleared off immediately and we put them into the recycle and unrecle bins. In my eyes this spring outing not only gave us lots of pleasure, but also gave us a meaningful lesson. Only to protect our environment can we get

14、a beautiful society. Therefore, I hope everyone can join us to make our home clean and tidy. 覆蓋了所有的內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)，語法和用詞能滿足任務(wù)覆蓋了所有的內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)，語法和用詞能滿足任務(wù)要求。篇章較為連貫，有少許語言錯(cuò)誤。要求。篇章較為連貫，有少許語言錯(cuò)誤。16 閱卷的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)和原則閱卷的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)和原則情景作文閱卷原則以內(nèi)容定檔次，以語情景作文閱卷原則以內(nèi)容定檔次，以語言質(zhì)量給分?jǐn)?shù)。言質(zhì)量給分?jǐn)?shù)。1. 內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)要齊全，細(xì)節(jié)缺失一個(gè)直接內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)要齊全，細(xì)節(jié)缺失一個(gè)直接進(jìn)入三檔文（進(jìn)入三檔文（12-14）之間，但如果語）之

15、間，但如果語言很好也可以由言很好也可以由14分加到分加到15分，相反，分，相反，時(shí)態(tài)混亂，語言不美，錯(cuò)誤太多，或語時(shí)態(tài)混亂，語言不美，錯(cuò)誤太多，或語言不準(zhǔn)確，就在原檔的基礎(chǔ)上扣言不準(zhǔn)確，就在原檔的基礎(chǔ)上扣1分，分，如二檔的下線如二檔的下線15-1=14。少兩個(gè)細(xì)節(jié)直。少兩個(gè)細(xì)節(jié)直接進(jìn)入三檔下線接進(jìn)入三檔下線12分，然后在視其語言分，然后在視其語言給分給分 2. 如果對(duì)投放垃圾桶的描述為如果對(duì)投放垃圾桶的描述為Proper bins 被視為缺少細(xì)節(jié)信息，被視為缺少細(xì)節(jié)信息，應(yīng)寫出可回收和不可回收。如第應(yīng)寫出可回收和不可回收。如第一幅圖沒有寫出討論的結(jié)果，如：一幅圖沒有寫出討論的結(jié)果，如：All

16、the students agreed at last ; we all wanted to go immediately. 被視為缺少細(xì)節(jié)信被視為缺少細(xì)節(jié)信息。息。3. 漏掉一個(gè)要點(diǎn)直接進(jìn)漏掉一個(gè)要點(diǎn)直接進(jìn)4檔檔11分，如果語分，如果語言好也可以由言好也可以由11變成變成12分；錯(cuò)誤信息也被分；錯(cuò)誤信息也被視為缺少要點(diǎn)，如：第視為缺少要點(diǎn)，如：第1 幅圖說成三個(gè)地幅圖說成三個(gè)地方都去，則直接進(jìn)入方都去，則直接進(jìn)入11分線。分線。4. 文章要有明確的結(jié)尾。此文不能只寫到文章要有明確的結(jié)尾。此文不能只寫到 扔了垃圾就結(jié)束了，如果沒有結(jié)尾就扣扔了垃圾就結(jié)束了，如果沒有結(jié)尾就扣 1分。最簡(jiǎn)單的結(jié)尾可

17、以是，分。最簡(jiǎn)單的結(jié)尾可以是，finally, we went back home , we were tired but happy . 5. 沒按順序?qū)懙?、人稱沒用沒按順序?qū)懙?、人稱沒用we 的直接進(jìn)四的直接進(jìn)四檔（檔（6-11）。）。6. 1、4圖的細(xì)節(jié)考慮的范圍比較窄，圖的細(xì)節(jié)考慮的范圍比較窄，2、3圖圖的細(xì)節(jié)考慮得比較寬泛。的細(xì)節(jié)考慮得比較寬泛。7. 一定要通過上下文和前后局來看學(xué)生一定要通過上下文和前后局來看學(xué)生的文章是否表達(dá)出要說的內(nèi)容，不必死的文章是否表達(dá)出要說的內(nèi)容，不必死扣某個(gè)詞或某個(gè)句子，如：扣某個(gè)詞或某個(gè)句子，如：discuss, climb the mountain等

18、，忌諱以單詞來等，忌諱以單詞來評(píng)判學(xué)生的文章，要通篇看而非只言片評(píng)判學(xué)生的文章，要通篇看而非只言片語或支離破碎。要強(qiáng)調(diào)前后文的連貫性，語或支離破碎。要強(qiáng)調(diào)前后文的連貫性，如：在第如：在第1圖中寫過圖中寫過We decided to climb the mountain , 到第到第2圖時(shí)他直圖時(shí)他直接寫接寫We started .就可以。就可以。8. 不要替考生解讀文章，他沒說清楚就不不要替考生解讀文章，他沒說清楚就不要替他理解。如：要替他理解。如：I was a sunny day . 則視為錯(cuò)誤。則視為錯(cuò)誤。9. 開頭不必自我介紹自報(bào)家門，應(yīng)該描述開頭不必自我介紹自報(bào)家門，應(yīng)該描述一個(gè)過去

19、的事情。人稱必須用一個(gè)過去的事情。人稱必須用we，寫的，寫的是稿件而不是信件，所以不應(yīng)寫是稿件而不是信件，所以不應(yīng)寫Dear editor, I want to tell you . 結(jié)尾也不要署結(jié)尾也不要署名字名字. 此文描寫的是上周的事，時(shí)態(tài)必須此文描寫的是上周的事，時(shí)態(tài)必須是過去時(shí)。是過去時(shí)。 10. 每幅圖都要既有要點(diǎn)又有每幅圖都要既有要點(diǎn)又有細(xì)節(jié)。內(nèi)容要生動(dòng)具體，語言細(xì)節(jié)。內(nèi)容要生動(dòng)具體，語言要連貫優(yōu)美。要連貫優(yōu)美。 Main points and details假設(shè)你是紅星中學(xué)高三一班的學(xué)生李華，為?？僭O(shè)你是紅星中學(xué)高三一班的學(xué)生李華，為?？⒄Z園地寫一篇題為英語園地寫一篇題為“

20、Our Spring Outing” 的英文的英文稿件。稿件。 請(qǐng)根據(jù)以下四幅圖的先后順序，敘述上周請(qǐng)根據(jù)以下四幅圖的先后順序，敘述上周你們班從準(zhǔn)備春游到春游結(jié)束的完整過程。你們班從準(zhǔn)備春游到春游結(jié)束的完整過程。圖圖1：要點(diǎn)是要討論去：要點(diǎn)是要討論去哪里，細(xì)節(jié)是三個(gè)選項(xiàng)哪里，細(xì)節(jié)是三個(gè)選項(xiàng)及結(jié)果。三個(gè)地點(diǎn)都要及結(jié)果。三個(gè)地點(diǎn)都要說還有說還有final decision 。 圖圖2：要點(diǎn)是第二天爬山。細(xì)節(jié)：要點(diǎn)是第二天爬山。細(xì)節(jié)是具體爬山的過程，可以寫風(fēng)景，是具體爬山的過程，可以寫風(fēng)景，寫太陽，寫花草樹木，或是爬山寫太陽，寫花草樹木，或是爬山時(shí)的心情，或爬山前作了充分的時(shí)的心情，或爬山前作了充分

21、的準(zhǔn)備工作，還可以是一個(gè)一個(gè)地準(zhǔn)備工作，還可以是一個(gè)一個(gè)地往上爬，也可以是進(jìn)行爬山比賽。往上爬，也可以是進(jìn)行爬山比賽。還可以寫上還可以寫上It was a sunny day . 這些情況之一都可以認(rèn)為這些情況之一都可以認(rèn)為有細(xì)節(jié)。如沒有，則視為細(xì)節(jié)缺有細(xì)節(jié)。如沒有，則視為細(xì)節(jié)缺失。失。 1. 1. The next day, we set off early in the morning. 2. While climbing the mountain, we enjoyed the warm sunshine and a beautiful view. 圖圖3：要點(diǎn)是撿垃圾。細(xì)節(jié)是到了山頂或

22、：要點(diǎn)是撿垃圾。細(xì)節(jié)是到了山頂或山中的一平地，垃圾可以是別人留下的也山中的一平地，垃圾可以是別人留下的也可以是這些人自己留下的然后決定去撿去可以是這些人自己留下的然后決定去撿去收拾。如：收拾。如：We were surprised to see lots of (all kinds of ) rubbish, 也可以說也可以說出垃圾的名稱，重點(diǎn)要寫到出垃圾的名稱，重點(diǎn)要寫到“把垃圾撿起把垃圾撿起來來”. 1. However, when we reached the top, 2. we were shocked to see litter here and there, such as bo

23、ttles and banana peels. 3. Then we started to pick up the litter. 圖圖4：要點(diǎn)是春游結(jié)束了，學(xué)生投放垃：要點(diǎn)是春游結(jié)束了，學(xué)生投放垃圾。細(xì)節(jié)是把垃圾分類投放，放到可圾。細(xì)節(jié)是把垃圾分類投放，放到可回收利用的和不可回收利用的垃圾桶，回收利用的和不可回收利用的垃圾桶，如果寫不出如果寫不出recycling ,non-recycling 也應(yīng)該寫出也應(yīng)該寫出we put rubbish into different bins and some can be used again . Afterwards, we put the rubbish into the nearby recycling bin and non-