2021高考全國卷續(xù)寫1卷 最新公開課

1、ANOTHERS DAY SURPRISEThe twins were filled with excitement as they thought of the surprise they were planning for Mothers Day. How pleased and proud Mother would be when they brought her breakfast in bed. They planned to make French toast and chicken porridge. They had watched their mother in the ki

2、tchen. There was nothing to it. Jenna and Jeff knew exactly what to do.The big day came at last. The alarm rang at 6 a.m. The pair went down the stairs quietly to the kitchen. They decided to boil the porridge first. They put some rice into a pot of water and left it to boil while they made the Fren

3、ch toast. Jeff broke two eggs into a plate and added in some milk. Jenna found the bread and put two slices into the egg mixture. Next, Jeff turned on the second stove burner to heat up the frying pan. Everything was going smoothly until Jeff started frying the bread. The pan was too hot and the bre

4、ad turned black within seconds. Jenna threw the burnt piece into the sink and put in the other slice of bread. This time, she turned down the fire so it cooked nicely.Then Jeff noticed steam shooting out of the pot and the lid starting to shake. The next minute, the porridge boiled over and put out

5、the fire. Jenna panicked. Thankfully, Jeff stayed calm and turned off the gas quickly. But the stove was a mess now. Jenna told Jeff to clean it up so they could continue to cook the rest of the porridge. But Jeffs hand touched the hot burner and he gave a cry of pain. Jenna made him put his hand in

6、 cold water. Then she caught the smell of burning. Oh dear! The piece of bread in the pan had turned black as well. 注意：.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。As the twins looked around them in disappointment, their father appeared.The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up.A MOTHERS

7、DAY SURPRISEThe twins were filled with excitement as they thought of the surprise they were planning for Mothers Day. How pleased and proud Mother would be when they brought her breakfast in bed. They planned to make French toast and chicken porridge. They had watched their mother in the kitchen. Th

8、ere was nothing to it. Jenna and Jeff knew exactly what to do.The big day came at last. The alarm rang at 6 a.m. The pair went down the stairs quietly to the kitchen. They decided to boil the porridge first. They put some rice into a pot of water and left it to boil while they made the French toast.

9、 Jeff broke two eggs into a plate and added in some milk. Jenna found the bread and put two slices into the egg mixture. Next, Jeff turned on the second stove burner to heat up the frying pan. Everything was going smoothly until Jeff started frying the bread. The pan was too hot and the bread turned

10、 black within seconds. Jenna threw the burnt piece into the sink and put in the other slice of bread. This time, she turned down the fire so it cooked nicely.Then Jeff noticed steam shooting out of the pot and the lid starting to shake. The next minute, the porridge boiled over and put out the fire.

11、 Jenna panicked. Thankfully, Jeff stayed calm and turned off the gas quickly. But the stove was a mess now. Jenna told Jeff to clean it up so they could continue to cook the rest of the porridge. But Jeffs hand touched the hot burner and he gave a cry of pain. Jenna made him put his hand in cold wat

12、er. Then she caught the smell of burning. Oh dear! The piece of bread in the pan had turned black as well. 注意：.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。As the twins looked around them in disappointment, their father appeared.The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up.A MOTHERS DAY SURPR

13、ISEThe twins were filled with excitement as they thought of the surprise they were planning for Mothers Day. How pleased and proud Mother would be when they brought her breakfast in bed. They planned to make French toast and chicken porridge. They had watched their mother in the kitchen. There was n

14、othing to it. Jenna and Jeff knew exactly what to do.The big day came at last. The alarm rang at 6 a.m. The pair went down the stairs quietly to the kitchen. They decided to boil the porridge first. They put some rice into a pot of water and left it to boil while they made the French toast. Jeff bro

15、ke two eggs into a plate and added in some milk. Jenna found the bread and put two slices into the egg mixture. Next, Jeff turned on the second stove burner to heat up the frying pan. Everything was going smoothly until Jeff started frying the bread. The pan was too hot and the bread turned black wi

16、thin seconds. Jenna threw the burnt piece into the sink and put in the other slice of bread. This time, she turned down the fire so it cooked nicely.Then Jeff noticed steam shooting out of the pot and the lid starting to shake. The next minute, the porridge boiled over and put out the fire. Jenna pa

17、nicked. Thankfully, Jeff stayed calm and turned off the gas quickly. But the stove was a mess now. Jenna told Jeff to clean it up so they could continue to cook the rest of the porridge. But Jeffs hand touched the hot burner and he gave a cry of pain. Jenna made him put his hand in cold water. Then

18、she caught the smell of burning. Oh dear! The piece of bread in the pan had turned black as well. 注意：.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。As the twins looked around them in disappointment, their father appeared.The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up.情節(jié)分析：沖突一危機(jī)一解決”模式敘事元素和結(jié)構(gòu)前情提要【

19、仔細(xì)閱讀原文】1）故事背景（Setting）:When:Who:What:2）伏筆/鋪墊/暗示：（foreshadowing）定義：指在文章或文藝作品中，前段里為后段所作的提示或暗示。讀懂原文伏筆語言呼應(yīng)對應(yīng)情節(jié)A Mothers Day Surprise（文章題目）Would the twins give Mom a big surprise?How pleased and proud Mother would beHow did mother feel in the end?3）沖突和懸念（conflict and suspense）為什么原文中一定會(huì)有沖突呢？（挖坑，填坑，樂趣）Ther

20、e was nothing to it. Jenna and Jeff knew exactly what to do.the bread turned blackthe porridge boiled over and put out the fire. touched the hot burner4）找到原文可呼應(yīng)的細(xì)節(jié)原文細(xì)節(jié)1：（廚房混亂）The next minute, the porridge boiled over and put out the fire. Jenna panicked.But Jeffs hand touched the hot burner and he g

21、ave a cry of pain.Then she caught the smell of burning. Oh dear! The piece of bread in the pan had turned black as well. 原文細(xì)節(jié)2:（母親節(jié)）A MOTHERS DAY SURPRISE 【標(biāo)題The twins were filled with excitement as they thought of the surprise they were planning for Mothers Day. How pleased and proud Mother would b

22、e when they brought her breakfast in bed.原文細(xì)節(jié)3： （Jeff小可愛燙傷）But Jeffs hand touched the hot burner二：列中文提綱，搭建情節(jié)骨架（3小點(diǎn)法）【開頭兩句決定故事情節(jié)走向】As the twins looked around them in disappointment, their father appeared.看到廚房一團(tuán)亂，父親吃驚困惑/驚訝/生氣. 了解情況后，沒有發(fā)火，鼓勵(lì)幫助（寬慰）.在父親幫助下，早餐順利做好The twins carried the breakfast upstairs a

23、nd woke their mother up.看到早餐，母親驚喜.祝母親節(jié)快樂，品嘗早餐.注意到Jeff燙傷，十分心疼，萬分感動(dòng)A Possible Version:As the twins looked 2rolmeI them ipdisapinliiiiTfT their father |a p pea red. A disastrous kitchen greeting （擬人）his eyes, their father was totally stunned （震驚的,目瞪口呆的）,.not uttering a single word. After calmjnfi himse

24、lf down a moment later, he got to realize waS gQiOgQn仇happened He smiled, choldngback his rage and said, “Do vou need a hand?” The pair yelled in delighted tone and tidied the kitchenup to restart cooking the dishes. This time, everything seemed to go smoothly without a hitch。質(zhì)利I地J. The chicken and

25、rice were dancing harmoniouslv （擬人）in the boiling water pot and bread slices were showing off 以人）its most tremendous golden color. Despite the oil stains（油漬）and holes on the twins aprons（圍裙），nothing seemed imperfect, and all was readgxcgpt the mpst important ong.的L取es謔意朦朧的雙眼）,their mother IeThe twin

26、s carried he breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up. Rubbing her drowsy（困倦的，昏昏欲睡yawnJniX）. For她或M矮就!DQSJL超加坳娛QM鼠UI星同時(shí)）she opened her eyes yidly andgpgglOt （瞪大眼睛看）the twins and| disheT|they served. Happv Mothers Dav Mommy! Whv not try out todavs special?” Though still in her pajamas（睡衣），mother 初

27、放abi域oLthetoast and sipped （小口喝, 抿一口）the hot porridge. Lost in the delicious breakfast and pure love from her son and daughter, she 觸b%d, with ddigMtML烷前泉乳鍛min&jQWnJer face. Mom, why are you crvin/?” The twins nwimured hX&QnfUSionJtofi her tears into smiles, she gave the twins aearhug（BB）z The break

28、fast tastes so Hood! Its the most wonderful gift Ive ever received!” The dawnjj3sunshine （黎明的陽光）HLyp the whole room, with air 那么里劍小皈 注意：-：描寫應(yīng)該使用具體，生動(dòng)的動(dòng)詞、形容詞、名詞進(jìn)行刻畫【波浪線局部】 二：適當(dāng)?shù)膶υ捗鑼?有助情節(jié)開展.要符合人物性格.對話內(nèi)容要緊扣主題以及原文三：可以適當(dāng)使用修辭，增加語言描寫的美感四：合理的銜接,使寫作更具邏輯性1）芭wins looked ground thenxJn-disappetntrrrBr their fat

29、her s, heir fathe|r was totally stunned （震驚的,目瞪口呆的）,2）Despite the oil stains（?由潰）and holes on the tveptl the most importantonj.ther let out a awn溫g尼或金（瞪大眼睛看）the twinsishes thcarried the breakstluQstairs and woke their五：恰當(dāng)使用高級句式補(bǔ)充結(jié)尾讀寫結(jié)尾1: I環(huán)境描寫烘托式礪“Mom, why are you crying?” The twins asked injgSMjfws

30、jpnjytelting her tears into smiles, she gave the twins a bear hug（熊抱）.“The breakfast tastes so good! Its the most wonderful gift Ive ever received!” The dhwnine sunshine （黎明的陽光）Htypthe whole room, with air being sweet.讀寫結(jié)尾2： |由事及理式結(jié)尾|。（起到畫龍點(diǎn)睛，拔高立意的效果）,telling that they were the most precious surpris

31、es in the world and what they prepared with their hears is always the best present for parents.讀寫結(jié)尾3： |反思感悟式結(jié)尾Not until then did they realize that Mom gave them not only lives but also unconditional love and care, and what they should do was to make her feel that she was the happiest mom in the worl

32、d.（通過給媽媽準(zhǔn)備驚喜，結(jié)果意外發(fā)現(xiàn)，平常認(rèn)為媽媽無條件的愛是理所當(dāng)然，等到自己回報(bào)母愛時(shí)候， 卻發(fā)現(xiàn)不是那么輕松，反映內(nèi)心的觸動(dòng)和成長歷程。）其他好的表達(dá)：父親的困惑：孩子的解釋：父親的鼓勵(lì)和幫助:孩子的興奮：母親的驚喜和自豪:父母的開心和自豪:Possible Version 2:Paral: As the twins looked around them in disappointment, their father appeared.Judging from his expression, it was evident that he was about to explode after seeing the mess. But to their relief, having learned their plan, he kne