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Unit5FourteenStepsHalManwaring1Theysayacathasninelives,1andIaminclinedtothinkthatpossiblesinceIamnowlivingmythirdlifeandI’mnotevenacat.Myfirstlifebeganonaclear,colddayinNovember1934,whenIarrivedasthesixthofeightchildrenofafarmingfamily.MyfatherdiedwhenIwas15,andwehadahardstruggletomakealiving.Asthechildrengrewup,theymarried,leavingonlyonesisterandmyselftosupportandcareforMother,whobecameparalyzedinherlastyearsanddiedwhilestillinher60s.Mysistermarriedsoonafter,andIfollowedherexamplewithintheyear.2ThiswaswhenIbegantoenjoymyfirstlife.Iwasveryhappy,inexcellenthealth,andquiteagoodathlete.MywifeandIbecametheparentsoftwolovelygirls.IhadagoodjobinSanJoseandabeautifulhomeupthepeninsulainSanCarlos.Lifewasapleasantdream.Thenthedreamended.Ibecameafflictedwithaslowlyprogressivediseaseofthemotornerves,affectingfirstmyrightarmandleg,andthenmyotherside.Thusbeganmysecondlife…3InspiteofmydiseaseIstilldrovetoandfromworkeachday,withtheaidofspecialequipmentinstalledinmycar.AndImanagedtokeepmyhealthandoptimism,toadegree,becauseof14steps.4CrazyNotatall.Ourhomewasasplit-levelaffairwith14stepsleadingupfromthegaragetothekitchendoor.Thosestepswereagaugeoflife.Theyweremyyardstick,mychallengetocontinueliving.IfeltthatifthedayarrivedwhenIwasunabletoliftonefootuponestepandthendragtheotherpainfullyafterit—repeatingtheprocess14timesuntil,utterlyspent,Iwouldbethrough—IcouldthenadmitdefeatandliedownandSoIkeptonworking,keptonclimbingthosesteps.Andtimepassed.Thegirlswenttocollegeandwerehappilymarried,andmywifeandIwerealoneinourbeautifulhomewiththe14steps.5Youmightthinkthatherewalkedamanofcourageandstrength.Notso.Herehobbledabitterlydisillusionedcripple,amanwhoheldontohissanityandhiswifeandhishomeandhisjobbecauseof14miserablestepsleadinguptothebackdoorfromhisAsIbecameolder,Ibecamemoredisillusionedandfrustrated.6ThenonadarknightinAugust,1971,Ibeganmythirdlife.ItwasrainingwhenIstartedhomethatnight;gustywindsandslashingrainbeatdownonthecarasIdroveslowlydownoneoftheless-traveledSuddenlythesteeringwheeljerkedinmyhandsandthecarswervedviolentlytotheright.InthesameinstantIheardthedreadedbangofablowout.Ifoughtthecartostopontherain-slickshoulderoftheroadandsatthereastheenormityofthesituationsweptoverItwasimpossibleformetochangethattire!Utterlyimpossible!Athoughtthatapassingmotoristmightstopwasdismissedatonce.WhyshouldanyoneIknewIwouldn’t!ThenIrememberedthatashortdistanceupalittlesideroadwasahouse.Istartedtheengineandthumpedslowlyalong,keepingwelloverontheshoulderuntilIcametothedirtroad,whereIturnedin—thankfully.LightedwindowswelcomedmetothehouseandIpulledintothedrivewayandhonkedthehorn.7Thedooropenedandalittlegirlstoodthere,peeringatme.IrolleddownthewindowandcalledoutthatIhadaflattireandneededsomeonetochangeitformebecauseIhadacrutchandcouldn’tdoitmyself.Shewentintothehouseandamomentlatercameoutbundledinraincoatandhat,followedbyamanwhocalledacheerfulgreeting.Isattherecomfortableanddry,andfeltabitsorryforthemanandthelittlegirlworkingsohardinthestorm.Well,Iwouldpaythemforit.Therainseemedtobeslackeningabitnow,andIrolleddownthewindowallthewaytowatch.ItseemedtomethattheywereawfullyslowandIwasbeginningtobecomeimpatient.Iheardtheclankofmetalfromthebackofthecarandthelittlegirl’svoicecameclearlytome.“Here’sthejack-handle,Grandpa.”Shewasansweredbythemurmuroftheman’slowervoiceandtheslowtiltingofthecarasitwasjackedTherefollowedalongintervalofnoises,joltsandlowconversationfromthebackofthecar,butfinallyitwasdone.Ifeltthecarbumpasthejackwasremoved,andIheardtheslamofthetrucklid,andthentheywerestandingatmycarwindow.8Hewasanoldman,stoopedandfrail-lookingunderhisslicker.Thelittlegirlwasabouteightorten,Ijudged,withamerryfaceandawidesmileasshelookedupatme.Hesaid,“Thisisabadnightforcartrouble,butyou’reallsetnow.”“Thanks,”Isaid.“HowmuchdoIoweyou”Heshookhishead.“Nothing.Cynthiatoldmeyouwereacripple—oncrutches.Gladtobeofhelp.Iknowyou’ddothesameforme.There’snocharge,friend.”Iheldoutafive-dollarbill.“No!Iliketopaymyway.”Hemadenoefforttotakeitandthelittlegirlsteppedclosertothewindowandsaidquietly,“Grandpacan’tseeit.”9InthenextfewfrozensecondstheshameandhorrorofthatmomentpenetratedandIwassickwithanintensityIhadneverfeltbefore.7Ablindmanandachild!Fumbling,feelingwithcold,wetfingersforboltsandtoolsinthedark—adarknessthatforhimwouldprobablyneverenduntildeath.Idon’trememberhowlongIsatthereaftertheysaidgoodnightandleftme,butitwaslongenoughformetosearchdeepwithinmyselfandfindsomedisturbingtraits.IrealizedthatIwasfilledtooverflowingwithself-pity,selfishness,indifferencetotheneedsofothersandIsatthereandsaidaprayer.10“Thereforeallthingswhatsoeveryewouldthatmenshoulddotoyou,doyeevensotothem:forthisisthelawandtheprophets.”9Tomenow,monthslater,thisScripturaladmonitionismorethanjustapassageintheBible.Itisawayoflife,onethatIamtryingtofollow.Itisn’talwayseasy.Sometimesitisfrustrating,sometimesexpensiveinbothtimeandmoney,butthevalueisthere.Iamtryingnownotonlytoclimb14stepseachday,butinmysmallwaytohelpothers.Someday,perhaps,Iwillchangeatireforablindmaninacar—someoneasblindasIhadbeen.14級臺(tái)階人們說貓有9條命,我傾向于認(rèn)為這是可能的,因?yàn)槲椰F(xiàn)在活的是第三次生命,而我不是貓。1904年11月的一個(gè)晴朗、寒冷的日子,我開始了我的第一次生命。我成了一個(gè)務(wù)農(nóng)家庭8個(gè)孩子中的第6個(gè)。我15歲時(shí)父親去世,我們?nèi)叶嫉脼樯?jì)艱辛奔忙。孩子們長大后,一個(gè)個(gè)結(jié)婚出嫁,只剩下我和一個(gè)姐姐撫養(yǎng)和照顧媽媽。她晚年時(shí)癱瘓,60多歲就去世了。我姐姐不久就嫁了人,我也在當(dāng)年結(jié)了婚。這時(shí)我開始享受我的第一次生命。我非常幸福,非常健康,而且是一名相當(dāng)出色的運(yùn)動(dòng)員。我們有兩個(gè)可愛的女兒。我在圣何塞有份滿意的工作,在半島北部的圣卡洛斯有幢漂亮的房子。生活是稱心如意的夢想。好景不長,美夢中斷了。我得了緩慢發(fā)展的運(yùn)動(dòng)神經(jīng)病,先是我的右臂和右腿活動(dòng)受阻,而后是左側(cè)。我的第二次生命就此開始……盡管我有病,但是借著安裝在車?yán)锏奶厥庠O(shè)備,我仍然每天開車上下班。我設(shè)法保持健康和樂觀,從某種程度來說,是緣于14級臺(tái)階。在說瘋話吧完全不是。我們的房子是個(gè)錯(cuò)層式建筑,從車庫到廚房門有14級臺(tái)階。這些臺(tái)階是生活的標(biāo)尺,是衡量我的標(biāo)準(zhǔn),也是我繼續(xù)生存的挑戰(zhàn)。我認(rèn)為哪一天要是我不能提起一只腳登上一級臺(tái)階,再費(fèi)勁地拖上另一只腳--如此重復(fù)14次直到精疲力竭,那我就完了--那時(shí)我只能承認(rèn)我失敗了,可以躺下來等死了。因此,我堅(jiān)持工作,堅(jiān)持爬那14級臺(tái)階。時(shí)光荏苒,兩個(gè)女兒上了大學(xué),相繼幸福地結(jié)婚成家,只剩下我們夫妻倆相濡以沫,守居在有14級臺(tái)階的漂亮家中。你們或許會(huì)想,在這里行走的是個(gè)有勇氣和力量的人,事實(shí)并非如此。這里行走的是一個(gè)痛苦地失去理想的一瘸一拐的殘疾人,一個(gè)因?yàn)槟菑能噹焱ㄏ蚝箝T折磨人的14級臺(tái)階才保持精神正常、沒有失去他的妻子、房子和工作的人。隨著年齡增長,我變得更失望和沮喪。后來,1971年8月的一個(gè)黑夜,我開始了我的第三次生命。那天晚上我起程回家時(shí)在下雨;我緩慢地沿著一條不經(jīng)常走的路開著車,天刮起陣陣勁風(fēng),急劇的雨點(diǎn)直落在車上。突然間,手中的方向盤跳動(dòng)起來,車子猛烈地朝右側(cè)轉(zhuǎn)去。同時(shí),我聽到可怕的輪胎爆裂的砰聲。我費(fèi)勁地把車停在因雨水而滑溜的路肩上,在這突如其來的嚴(yán)峻情況下,我呆坐在車?yán)?。我不可能更換輪胎!根本不可能!可能有個(gè)過路的車會(huì)停下來,這個(gè)念頭一閃即逝。人家為什么就該停車呢我知道我也不會(huì)。我想起離開支路不太遠(yuǎn)有幢房子。我起動(dòng)了發(fā)動(dòng)機(jī),車子慢慢搖晃著順著路肩朝前蠕動(dòng)到土路上,謝天謝地,在那兒我拐了上去。透著燈光的窗戶把我迎向房子,我開上車道,按了喇叭。門開了,一個(gè)小女孩站在那兒,費(fèi)力地看著我。我搖下車窗,大聲說我的輪胎爆了,需要有人幫我換掉它,因?yàn)槲沂莻€(gè)用拐杖的殘疾人,沒法自己動(dòng)手。女孩進(jìn)了屋,一會(huì)兒又出來,裹著雨衣,戴著帽子,后面跟著一個(gè)男人,他高興地向我問候。我舒舒服服地坐在車?yán)?一點(diǎn)沒淋濕,而那男人和小女孩在風(fēng)雨交加的夜晚這么辛苦地干,我感到有點(diǎn)兒歉意。反正,我會(huì)給他們錢的。雨像是小點(diǎn)兒了,我把車窗一直搖下看著車外。我覺得他們
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