某咨詢(xún)有效溝通cmncnsl

Author: KimSoskinCommunicationStylesApril1998Copyright?1998Bain&Company,Inc.Reviewer: DianneLedingham LizRamos CarthaO’Hare KaraGruver

1CBJHu801

CanYouUseThisModule?HowCommunicationWorksCommunicationandPerceptionStylesintheWorkplaceCommunicatingatBainUnderstandingYourIndividualStyleManagingCommunicationatBainAgenda2CBJHu801

Forcommunicationtobeeffective,thelistenermustreceivethemessagethespeakertransmitsinthewaythespeakerintendsCommunicationbreaksdownifthelistenerandthespeakerdonotsharethesamecommunicationstylewhatistransmittedisnotwhatisreceivedYoucanincreaseyoureffectivenessincommunicatingby:understandingyourlistener’scommunicationstyleexpandingyourabilitytocommunicateinyourlistener’sstyleUnderstandingyouraudienceiskeyforsuccessfulcommunicationOverview3CBJHu801

CanYouUseThisModule?HowCommunicationWorksCommunicationandPerceptionStylesintheWorkplaceCommunicatingatBainUnderstandingYourIndividualStyleManagingCommunicationatBainAgenda4CBJHu801

Audience

Communicators:anyonewhowantstoincreasecommunicationeffectivenessindividualsexperiencingdifficultycommunicatinginBain’spredominantstyleManagers:anyonewhomanagesaCommunicatorThismoduleisdesignedfortwoaudiencesCanIUseThisModule?5CBJHu801

UnderstandimpactofcommunicationstyleonperformanceIdentifytheelementsofcommunicationstylesRecognizetheprimarycommunicationstyleatBaincharacteristicsvalueAssessyourcommunicationstrengths/weaknessesinBainenvironmentIdentifymeanstobuildskillspersonalinternal/externalresourcesTherearefiveobjectivesforcommunicators:CanIUseThisModule?(Objectives:Communicators)6CBJHu801

ClarifytheimpactofcommunicationstyleontheperceptionofperformanceAddressstyleconcernsduringappraisal/coachingsessionsDescribeBain’sprimarystylecharacteristicsandvalueAssessindividual’sstylecharacteristicsinBainenvironmentProvidealternativestoincreaseeffectivenessTherearesixobjectivesformanagers:CanIUseThisModule?(Objectives:Managers)7CBJHu801

Prepareextensively,meticulously--andthensaynothing?Wait--andwaitandwait--forsomeonetoaskyouropinion?Orforapauseinthediscussiontomakeyourpoint?Makesurewhateveryousayis110%accurateorelsesaynothingatall?Feellikeit’sawarinsteadofacaseteammeeting?Ifyouanswer“yes”toanyofthefollowingquestions,thismodulewillbeusefultoyouasacommunicator:Listenincredulouslyassomeoneelsetakescreditforyourideas?Findyourselfinterruptedconstantly?Presentsolid,well-thoughtoutideasonlytohavethemattacked?Dreadthatyouwillbeaskedsomethingyoudon’tknow?Atcaseteammeetings,doyou:CanIUseThisModule?8CBJHu801

Ifyouanswer“yes”toanyofthefollowingquestions,thismodulewillbeusefultoyouasacommunicator:Atcaseteammeetings,doyou:Marvelattheconfidenceofyourteammembers?(Particularlythosewhoweresignificantlylesspreparedthanyou)Knowifyoucouldjusttalktoyourmanagerone-on-onethenyoucouldexplainyourself?“Youhavetospeakupmore”“Youshouldbemoredirect”“Youjustdon’tseemconfident”“Don’tworryifyourideasareperfect,justgetsomethingoutthere”“Haveyouthoughtaboutsigningupforacommunicationworkshop?”Inperformancereviews,doyouhear:CanIUseThisModule?9CBJHu801

“Youhavetospeakupmore”“Youshouldbemoredirect”“Youjustdon’tseemconfident”“Don’tworryaboutwhetheryourideasareperfect,justgetthemoutthere”Ifyouareplanningtogiveanyofthefollowingadviceinanupcomingcoachingmeeting,thismoduleisimportantforyouasamanager:“I’mnotsureyou’rereadytoworkwiththeclient”“I’mnotsureyou’rereadytobepromoted”“I’mnotsureaboutyourfutureatBain”CanIUseThisModule?10CBJHu801CanYouUseThisModule?HowCommunicationWorksCommunicationandPerceptionStylesintheWorkplaceCommunicatingatBainUnderstandingYourIndividualStyleManagingCommunicationatBainAgenda11CBJHu801Communication:“Totransmitinformation,thought,orfeelingsothatitissatisfactorilyreceivedorunderstood”CommunicationissuccessfulonlywhenwhatyouhavetransmittedisreceivedSource:Webster’sNewCollegiateDictionary,G&CMerriamCompany,1995,ProcessOfCommunication12CBJHu801Intention:TransmitMessageReceiveIntention:TransmitMessageReceiveSuccessful:Unsuccessful:ProcessOfCommunication13CBJHu801Communicationoperatesontwolevels:message:information,thoughtorfeelingexpressedthroughwordsMetamessage:informationabouttheinteractionrelationship,attitude,activity,atmosphereexpressedthroughlanguageusagevoiceandbodydegreeofdirectnessCommunicationistransmittedontwolevels:messageandthemetamessage.Bothmustbeinterpretedaccuratelyforinteractiontobesuccessful.Source:Tannen,Deborah,“YouJustDon’tUnderstand””,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990;Bateson,Gregory,“StepstoanecologyofMind”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1972HowCommunicationHappens14CBJHu801Metamessagesprovidethekeytointerpretingtheconversation.Source:Tannen,Deborah,““YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990;Bateson,Gregory,“StepstoanEcologyofMind”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1972MetamessageidentifiesactivityandatmosphereofinteractionargumentorchatinquiryorchallengeIdentifiesspeaker’sassumptionofrelationshipwithlistenersuperior/subordinatepeerfriend/adversaryIsconveyedthroughwordusage,bodylanguage,directnesshumorousorserioushostileorcollaborativeUnderstandingMetamessages15CBJHu801Source:Tannen,Deborah,“YouJustDon’tUnderstand””,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990;Bateson,Gregory,“StepstoanEcologyofMind”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1972WordsLanguageusage:Form:Function:ChoiceandcombinationofwordsStatement,questions,exclamationCommand,inquiry,apology,compliment,etc.BehaviorsVoice:Body:Tone,inflection,pace,pauses,volume,durationPosture,movement,gestures,facialexpressions,eyecontactDegreeofdirectnessDegreetowhichmeaningisliteralorsubjecttointerpretationMetamessageisacombinationofwordsandbehavior.Tointerpretmetamessage,consider:HowMetamessagesProvideInformation16CBJHu801Directnessindicateswhetherwhatyousayiswhatyoumeanessentialcomponentofmetamessagethemoreindirectthecommunication,themoreneedforinterpretationgreateropportunityformisunderstandingFundamentalelementofcommunicationusevariessignificantlywithinstylesandwithinculturesDirectnessisindicatedthroughwordchoice,voice,and/orbodylanguageThemoreindirectacommunication,themorelikelyitwillbemisinterpretedSource:Tannen,Deborah,““TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994EffectofIndirectness17CBJHu801DegreeofdirectnessaffectsthemeaningofthemessageSource:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994WhatYouSayWhatYouMeanDirectCouldyouturnuptheheat?§Couldyouturnuptheheat?IndirectIsitcoldinhere?§Couldyouturnuptheheat?§What’’sthetemperatureherecomparedtosomewhereelse?§Isthewindowopen?DirectBringmetheclientlist.§Bringmetheclientlist.IndirectDowehavetheclientlist?§Bringmetheclientlist.§Whyisn’ttheclientlistonmydesk?§Istheclientlistdoneyet?DegreeofDirectness:Examples18CBJHu801Intention:TransmitInterpretReceiveorMessageideas,thoughts,feelingsexpressedwordsMetamessageinformationabouttheinteractionexpressedinlanguageusage,behaviorsandlevelofdirectnessUnderstandingCommunication19CBJHu801“CanIHelpYou?””Thesamewordshavedifferentmeaningswhencombinedwithdifferentbehaviors.Successfulcommunicationdependsonaccurateinterpretationofwordsandbehaviors.Source:Tannen,Deborah,““YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990SmileDirecteyecontactSoothingtoneLeanstowardspeakerOpenpostureFrownNoeyecontactImpatienttoneTurnedfromspeakerTapsfingersondeskSmirkRollseyesupwardChallengingtoneLeansbackinchairArmscrossedoverchestMetamessageExamples20CBJHu801Possiblecombinationsoflanguageandbehavioraredizzyingneed““shorthand”processforinterpretingmetamessageCommunicationstylesprovidesprocesspatternsofautomatic,ritualizedbehaviorsprovidepredictableprocessforcommunicationallowsquickinterpretationmessagecontentrelationshipbetweenparticipantsactivityatmosphereCommunicationstyleisthe“l(fā)ogic”weusetomakesenseofinteractionsSource:Tannen,Deborah,“YouJustDon’tUnderstand””,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990ProcessofCommunication21CBJHu801Styleconsistsofautomatic,ritualizedpatternsofinteraction“Hi,howareyou?”“Fine,thanks.Andyou?“Fine.”“MayIhelpyou?””“Nothanks,I’mjustlooking.”“LetmeknowifIcanhelp.”TheinitialstatementsignalsthebeginningoftheritualThefollowingstepscompletethesharedpatternSource:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994;Tannen,Deborah,““YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990UnderstandingStyle:Example22CBJHu801Ritualizedpatternsforgreetingpeopleyouknow:Differentcultureshavedifferentpatternsofinteraction.Theymakesenseintheculture,butnotoutsideofit.Source:Tannen,Deborah,““TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994;Tannen,Deborah,““YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990UnitedStates:“Howareyou?”“Fine.Howareyou”“Fine,thanks”P(pán)hilippines“Whereareyougoing?”“Overthere”France“Bonjour”“Bonjour”AccompaniedbyhandshakeUnderstandingStyle:Example23CBJHu801Ourcommunicationstyleisourcharacteristicspeakingpattern.Source:Tannen,Deborah,“ThePowerofTalk:WhoGetsHeardandWhy””,HarvardBusinessReview,September-October,1995StyleallowsustoconsistentlypredictandrespondtometamessageofcommunicationStyleisbasedonculturallylearnedsignalsusetoconveyandinterpretmeaningnegotiaterelationshipsevaluateoneanotheraspeopleIndividualstyleisinfluencedby:ethnicitygenderclassgeographicregionfamily/communitynormsageacademicbackgroundUnderstandingStyle24CBJHu801OurownstyleisinvisibletouswetakeitforgrantedWeassumeeveryoneusesthesamestylewedoexpectcommunicationwillbepredictableStyleconfigureshowwecommunicate,butweareunawareofitSource:Tannen,Deborah,““YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallentineBooks,1990UnderstandingStyle25CBJHu801CommunicationismostsuccessfulwhenstylesmatchmessageandmetamessageaccuratelyinterpretedbothpartiesaresatisfiedHowever,differentpeopleusedifferentstylesWhenstylesdon’tmatch,communicationcanfailinterpretationisnotaccuratepatternisinterpretedliterallybothpartiesarefrustratedoneorbothmayfeeltheyhavenotcommunicatedSuccessfulcommunicationdependsonmutualityofstylesSource:Tannen,Deborah,““YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990ComponentsofSuccessfulCommunication26CBJHu801ConfusionbetweenintentandeffectcausesfrustrationinbothpartiesSource:Tannen,Deborah,““Talking9to5””,AvonBooks,1994WhenStylesClash27CBJHu801Missingtheritualaspectofstylecancauseconfusion,frustrationandeveninsultSource:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994;Tannen,Deborah,““YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990UnitedStates:“Howareyou?”“Fine.Howareyou?”“Well,myback’sbeenbad…”P(pán)hilippines“Whereareyougoing?”“Nowhere.I’mstandingheretalkingtoyou.”France“Bonjour”“Hey,how’reyadoin?”StyleClash:Examples28CBJHu801ListenersreceivebestwhentransmissionmatchestheirstyleYourcanincreaseeffectivenessbygainingunderstandingaboutyourlistener’sstyleexpandingpersonalstyletomatchlistener’sstyleadaptingtoaudiencemorerealisticthanexpectingthemtoadapttoyouExpandingyourstyletomatchthatofyourlistener(s)

willimproveyourcommunicationSource:DISCWorkStyleProfiles,(needrestofreference)*******IncreasingYourEffectiveness29CBJHu801CanYouUseThisModule?HowCommunicationWorksCommunicationandPerceptionStylesintheWorkplaceCommunicatingatBainUnderstandingYourIndividualStyleManagingCommunicationatBainAgenda30CBJHu801Source:DuPraw;MarcellEandAxner;Marya““WorkingonCommonCross-CulturalCommunicationChallenges;TopsfieldFoundation,1997;Tannen;Deborah;““TalkingFrom9to5”;AvonBooks,1994YourcommunicationstylecanimpactperceptionofyourcompetenceSuespeaksoutinmeetings,statingherideasforcefully,andchallengingothersMatch:SueisconfidentClash:SueisrudeandarrogantWhenstylesmatch,perceptionoflistenerispositiveWhenstylesclash,perceptionoflistenerisoftennegativeCommunicationandPerception31CBJHu801SamesituationfromanotherperspectivehassameresultSuefocusesherparticipationinmeetingsonsupportingothers’ideasandaskingquestionsMatch:SueiscollaborativeClash:SueisinsecureSource:Tannen;Deborah;“Talking9to5”;AvonBooks,1994CommunicationandPerception32CBJHu801Source:Tannen;Deborah;“Talking9to5”;AvonBooks,1994PerceptionbecomesthebasisforfutureactionSuespeaksoutinmeetings,statingherideasforcefully,andchallengingothersMatch:SueisconfidentClash:Sueisrudeandarrogant“Suehasrealleadershippotential”“I’mnotsureSue’sgotwhatittakestoleadthisteam”CommunicationandPerception33CBJHu801Source:Tannen;Deborah;“Talking9to5”;AvonBooks,1994Suefocusesherparticipationinmeetingsonsupportingothers’ideasandaskingquestionsMatch:SueiscollaborativeClash:Sueisinsecure“Suehasrealleadershippotential”“I’mnotsureSue’sgotwhatittakestoleadthisteam”CommunicationandPerception34CBJHu801Source:Tannen;Deborah;“Talking9to5”;AvonBooks,1994YourcommunicationoftenrepresentsyourworkjudgmentsaboutworkofteninferredfromhowitispresentedmuchofthatpresentationisintheformoftalkWhenstyledoesn’’tmatchnorms,work(insteadofstyle)maybejudgedinadequateMissedsignalshavepowerfulimpact:reducedpersonalsatisfactionreducedopportunitiestoexcelskewedperformanceassessmentIntheworkplace,yourcommunicationstyleimpactsperceptionofyourcompetenceImplicationsatWork35CBJHu801Source:Tannen;Deborah;“Talking9to5”;AvonBooks,1994YourcommunicationstylecanimpactperceptionofyourcompetenceSuespeaksoutinmeetings,statingherideasforcefully,andchallengingothersMatch:SueisconfidentClash:Sueisrudeandarrogant“Sueshouldbepromoted”””“Let’’swaitandconsiderherfornextyear”ImplicationsintheWorkplace:Example36CBJHu801Source:Tannen;Deborah;“Talking9to5”;AvonBooks,1994Suefocusesherparticipationinmeetingsonsupportingothers’ideasandaskingquestionsMatch:Sueiscollaborative,hasleadershippotentialClash:Sueisinsecure,can’’tleadteam“Sueistheonetohandlethisnewproject”‘Sue’’snotreadytotakeonthislevelofresponsibility””ImplicationsintheWorkplace:Example37CBJHu801CanYouUseThisModule?HowCommunicationWorksCommunicationandPerceptionStylesintheWorkplaceCommunicatingatBainUnderstandingYourIndividualStyleManagingCommunicationatBainAgenda38CBJHu801Everycommunityhasacommunicationnormthe““waythingsaredone””manystylesmaybepresentingroupdominantstylebecomesgroupnormWorkplaces,likeothercommunities,havecommunicationnormsdominantstyledependsonstyleofleaderstypeofindustryregionallocationsizeoforganizationclientneedsworkprocessesSource:Tannen,Deborah,““TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994DominantcommunicationstylewithinagroupisitsnormCommunicationStylesintheWorkplace39CBJHu801Generallytwocommunicationstylesinanorganizationhierarchy:organizesrelationshipsintermsofstatusequality:organizesrelationshipsintermsofconnectionDominantstylewillbecomeorganization’snormTherearegenerallytwoprimarystylesintheworkplace.Theyareorganizedbyafocusonhierarchyorequality.Source:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994CommunicationStylesintheWorkplace40CBJHu801Bothsystemsorganizeinteractionsandrelationships--theyjustdoitdifferently.Source:Tannen,Deborah,“YouJustDon’tUnderstand””,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990,Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994HierarchyObjectiveDescriptionProcessEqualityMaintainequalstatusingroupEachgroupmemberstrivestominimizedifferencesbymaintainingappearanceofequalstatusMembersavoidtakingcenterstage,deflectorshareattentioniftheygetit,avoidchallengesMaintainrankedstatusingroupEachgroupmemberstrivestobeoneupbyputtingothersdownIndividualsjockeyforcenterstage,challengethosewhogetit,leaderdeflectschallengeCharacteristicsofHierarchyandEquality41CBJHu801Theworldisseenverydifferentlyineachsystem.Source:Tannen,Deborah,““YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990Hierarchy/Equality(ViewsoftheWorld)42CBJHu801Processofinteractionisalsoseenverydifferentlybythetwosystems.Source:Tannen,Deborah,““YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990Hierarchy/EqualityInteraction43CBJHu801ThefunctionofbothsystemsistoorganizerelationshipsintermsofbothstatusandconnectionTheirprimaryfocusisdifferentThetwosystemsdifferintheirfocus,nottheirfunction.Source:Tannen,Deborah,““YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990FunctionandFocusofWorkplaceStyles44CBJHu801Eachstyletendstobebiasedtowardownnorm,hasanegativeviewoftheother,andmisseselementsthatdon’tfittheirperceptionofthemselves.Source:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994;Tannen,Deborah,““YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990Styles’ViewofEachOther45CBJHu801Historically,workplacewasprimarilymalementendtocommunicateinhierarchicalstyleworkplacereflectsinfluencemanyorganizationshavehierarchicalnormWomen’spresenceintroducednewstylewomentendtocommunicateinegalitarianstyleorganizationsadoptnewstyletothedegreeit:reflectsstyleofleadersisrepresentedinorganizationsupportsworkpracticesmayusestylesituationallyifnotusedasnormCommunicationsintheworkplacereflectthegenerallydifferentstylesofmenandwomen.Source:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994;Tannen,Deborah,““YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990TheImpactofGender46CBJHu801Eachofusbelievesdeeply:ournormisthebestwaytocommunicatemakesthemostsense,hasthemostvalueeveryoneshouldcommunicatethewaywedoiftheydon’t,theyshouldchangeThisbiasreduceseffectivenessinanormthatdoesn’’tmatchourstyleWeholdstrongbiasesaboutthegroupnormwesubscribeto...Source:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994;Tannen,Deborah,““YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990UnderstandingGroupNorms47CBJHu801Wheneveryoujoinanestablishedcommunity,individualstylemayormaynotmatchgroupnormIfitdoesn’t,mayclashwithsomeormanystylisticbehaviorscanbeveryfrustratingclashesmayfeelpersonalremember:clashesresultfromstylisticdifferencesIfyourstyleclasheswithorganization’snorm:getsmartaboutoperatingeffectivelywithinitlookatnewgroupasnewaudiencefocusonlearninghowaudiencefunctionsWhenyoujoinagroup,yourindividualstylemayormaynotmatchthenorm.Source:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994JoiningaNewGroup48CBJHu801ObserveittounderstanditcomparewhattheydotowhatyoudolookforcongruenciesinyourvaluesandtheirsbothvaluedeliveringanexcellentproductprocessfordoingsoisdifferentunderstandhowtheirprocessservesthecultureKeytounderstandinganothergroup’snormisobjectivitystrategicallyassessnewculturewhatittakestobeheardwhatittakestohaveworkrecognizedwhatittakestoexcelEverystyleislogicalandvaluabletotheindividualororganizationthatholdsitSource:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994;Tannen,Deborah,““YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990UnderstandingOther’sGroupNorms49CBJHu801Eachstylehasa““wayofdoingthings.”Stylecharacteristicsaresummarizedhere,andexplainedindetailinthenextsection.Source:Source:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994;Tannen,Deborah,““YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990StyleinAction:ASummary50CBJHu801Source:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994;Tannen,Deborah,““YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990Scenario1Scenario2MariolooksforanopportunitytospeakinmeetingsOthersspeakwithoutstopping,orinterrupteachotherquicklyHeleavesthemeetingwithoutsayinganythingAsSimonespeaks,shepausesbrieflyexpectsotherstojumpinandchallengeideasWhennoonedoes,shecontinuestoelaborateonherideaStyleinAction-ParticipationinMeetings51CBJHu801BothMarioandSimoneareusingpausestosignalwhentostartandendtheirparticipationMarioislookingforalongpauseasawayinSimone‘sbriefpausesareinvitationsforotherstojoinherNeitherareoperatinginanormthatmatchestheirstyleMario’sgroupusepausestooshortforhimtorecognizeMariofeelshecan’tgetawordinedgewisehisgroupthinkshedoesn’thaveanythingtocontributeSimone’sgroupneedslongerpausesthansheprovidesSimonefeelslikesheisalwayscarryingtheballhergroupthinkssheisself-absorbedKeytakeawaySource:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994;Tannen,Deborah,““YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990AnalyzingStyle-ParticipatinginMeetings52CBJHu801Source:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994;Tannen,Deborah,““YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990StylisticNorms-ParticipatinginMeetingsHierarchyEqualityStyleAssumptionStatusAssumptionMeetingsareachancetograbthespotlightAssertStatusBy:SpeakingAssertivelyHoldingthefloorChallengingothers’ideasInterruptingMeetingsareaplacetoconnectaroundsharedconcernsMaintainequalstatusby:Speakingonlywheninvitedfollowinglongpausefollowingliteralinvitation:“Whatdoyouthink?”53CBJHu801Duringtraining,ahospitalresidentaskedquestionsaboutpatientsandtheirillnessesmethodsofprovidingcareAtendofterm,residentreceivedapoorevaluationSupervisor’sexplanationwasresidentknewlessthanothersingroupevidence:“Youaskedmorequestions”Source:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994;Tannen,Deborah,““YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990StyleinAction-AskingQuestions54CBJHu801Source:Tannen,Deborah,““ThePowerofTalk:WhoGetsHeardandWhy”,HarvardBusinessReview,September-October,1995ResidentandSupervisorhelddifferentexpectationsofquestionsresident:questionsindicatedcompetencehadtohaveknowledgetoknowwhattoaskaskingquestionsresultedinbettercareforpatientssupervisorquestionsindicatedignoranceyouonlyaskwhatyoudon’tknowthemorequestions,themoreignorancestyleperceptionoutweighedotherevidenceofcompetenceAnalysisofStyle-AskingQuestions55CBJHu801Source:Tannen,Deborah,““ThePowerofTalk:WhoGetsHeardandWhy”,HarvardBusinessReview,September-October,1995StylisticNorms-AskingQuestions56CBJHu801Apologiesareusedtoacceptblameandtodemonstrateconcern.Theyareanimportantelementofnegotiatingstatusinrelationship.Source:Tannen,Deborah,““ThePowerofTalk:WhoGetsHeardandWhy”,HarvardBusinessReview,September-October,1995Scenario1TylerdelivershisreportlateHesays:““I’msorrythereportislate”Hisbosssays:“Iacceptyourapology”Scenario2TylerdelivershisreportlateHesays:““I’msorrythereportislate”Hisbosssays:“It’sokay.Thedeadlinewastight.”Scenario3TylerdelivershisreportlateHesays:““Thisjustdidn’’tturnoutwellatall”Hisbosssays:“I’msorry.Iknowyou’veworkedhardonthis.”StyleinAction-Apologizing57CBJHu801Source:Tannen,Deborah,““ThePowerofTalk:WhoGetsHeardandWhy”,HarvardBusinessReview,September-October,1995Scenario1TylerdelivershisreportlateHesays:““I’msorrythereportislate”Hisbosssays:“Iacceptyourapology”Scenario2TylerdelivershisreportlateHesays:““I’msorrythereportislate”Hisbosssays:“It’sokay.Thedeadlinewastight.”Scenario3TylerdelivershisreportlateHesays:““Thisjustdidn’’tturnoutwellatall”Hisbosssays:“I’msorry.Iknowyou’veworkedhardonthis.”ResponseassignsblametoapologizerPutsapologizerinone-downpositionResponsesharesblameMovesapologizeroutofone-downpositionRestoresbalancetorelationshipResponseexpressesconcernneithersharesorassignsblameshiftsfocusfromnegativetopositiveRestoresbalancetorelationshipAnalyzingStyle-Apologizing(1of2)58CBJHu801Mostobviousmisinterpretationisbetweenacceptingblameanddemonstratingconcernfrequentapologizingmaybeheardliterallyevenifmeanttoexpressconcernmaybeseenweaker,incompetent,blameworthyAvoidingapologyalsocanbemisinterpretedgenerallyintendedasawaytosavefacecanbetakenasunwillingnesstotakeresponsibilityblindtoeffectofactionsonothersAswithanyactivitywhichservesmultiplepurposes,apologiescaneasilybemisinterpreted.Source:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994;Tannen,Deborah,““YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990AnalyzingStyle-Apologizing(2of2)59CBJHu801Source:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994;Tannen,Deborah,““YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990StylisticNorms-Apologizing60CBJHu801Source:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994;Tannen,Deborah,““YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990PresentingideasWeshouldstoptheinterviewsimmediatelyandshiftinsteadtophonesurveys.Iknowwe’veputalotoftimeintotheseinterviews,andtheyareuseful,butI’mwonderingifmaybeweshouldconsiderphonesurveys’.I’msorrytodisrupteverything…ResponsefromgroupHaveyoucalculatedthecosts?They’’vegottobeoutrageous.Andwe’llneverconvincetheclient?It’’llkillourcredibilityNo,don’tworry.It’’sagoodidea.Explainalittlemoreabouthowitwouldwork.Now,whatdoyouthinkaboutcost?Wouldtherebeanyproblemthere?RebuttalIalreadyexplainedhowwecouldmakeupthecosts.Theclientisnotaproblem,wejusthavetoshowhowbeneficialthisis.Wecandothateasily.Icouldbewrong,butIdon’tthinkthecostswillbeanyproblem.Itookafirstpassatanewbudget,anditseemedtobefine.Icantakeanotherlook.JanDeanStyleinAction-PresentingIdeasinMeetings(1of2)61CBJHu801Source:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994;Tannen,Deborah,““YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990BothscenariosarerelyingonpatternsofinteractiontotestideasanddeliveragoodproductJan’smeetingusesverbaloppositionaritualfighttestsforweaknessesthroughchallengesandrebuttalspresenterholdscenterstageandfendsoffchallengersDean’’smeetingusesverbalsupportaritualdiscussiontestsforweaknessesthroughinqui