商務(wù)談判第二單元

Thinkinginbusinessnegotiation1、談判的泛化理解（思維定式）：（1）談判無處不在現(xiàn)實生活是巨大談判桌，你必須參與談判?？梢越簧嬲勁腥魏问?。若想獲得對方承諾，必須采用自己的方式進行多方面交涉。人在成長、成熟、成功的過程中都要進行交涉，交涉=談判。

1.Extensiveunderstandingofnegotiation(fixedthinkingpattern)(1)NegotiationiseverywhereYouhavetonegotiateinthereallife,youcannegotiateforanything,ifyouwantgetothers’promise,youhavetodooverallnegotiationviayourway.Negotiationisinvolvedinpeople’slife,bargaining=negotiation.

Thinkinginbusinessnegotiation（2）談判的人性理解三字經(jīng)：”人之初、性本善；習(xí)相近、性相遠(yuǎn)?！八渍Z：”近朱者赤、近墨者黑“金庸筆下，《射雕英雄傳》中江南七怪、黃老邪等江湖人物，《碧血劍》中的金蛇郎君都是亦正亦邪的人物。對人的理解：人是一種可上可下的”居間性“動物，向上是有限的，而向下墮落是無限的。(2)HumanityunderstandingofnegotiationThreeCharacterPrimer:menattheirbirth,arenaturallygood,theirnaturesaremuchthesame,theirhabitsbecomewidelydifferentFolksays:onewhostaysnearvermiliongetsstainedred,andonewhostaysnearinkgetsstainedblack.understandingabouthuman:humansometimesisinamediacystatus,thereisalimitationforhumantobebetter,butcanbackslideinfinitelyThinkinginbusinessnegotiation正因為人性的兩面性，要求我們對人的認(rèn)識，必須從其可墮落性出發(fā)，要防堵和疏導(dǎo)相結(jié)合；而談判就是一場真真假假的游戲。談判過程是展示人性更是塑造人性的過程；而人們之間的交涉，互動過程導(dǎo)致了人性的生成。談判輸贏不是決定一個人成功、失敗的唯一要素；但對于人一生中一些重要談判，要樹立這樣的理念：對方可以贏，但我不能輸?！睕_突是不可避免的，但學(xué)會把挫折感放到背后，所謂“一笑泯恩仇”----《笑傲江湖》主題歌“滄海一聲笑”所描述：“蒼天笑、紛紛世上潮誰負(fù)誰勝出天知曉江山笑、煙雨遙濤浪淘盡紅塵俗事知多少清風(fēng)笑竟惹寂寥豪情還剩一襟晚照Becauseofthetwo-sideofhumanity,wearerequiredtorecognizepeoplefromtheircorruptibility.Negotiationisagamethatmixedtruthandfalsehood.Theprocessofnegotiationrevealhumanityorevenistheprocessofbuildhumanity;andthebargainingamongpeopleleadtothecreatureofhumanity.Winningandlossofanegotiationisdefinitelynottheonlyfactorcontributetoaperson’ssuccess;buttosomeimportantnegotiationinpeople’slives,thisconceptshouldbesetup:theotherpartycanwin,butIcannotlose.

商務(wù)談判中的思維(3)談判的理性理解哈佛原則談判法:(A)把人與問題分開-----當(dāng)對方看法不正確時,應(yīng)尋求機會讓其糾正;------當(dāng)對方情緒激動時,應(yīng)給予理解;-------當(dāng)對方發(fā)生誤解時,應(yīng)加強雙方的溝通;(3)rationalunderstandingofnegotiationHarvardPrincipeinnegotiation(A)separatepeopleandproblem---giveothersthechancetocorrectwhentheyhavewrongopinions.----giveotherstheunderstandingwhentheyarerage.----enhancenegotiationwhenothershavemisunderstandingaboutyou.商務(wù)談判中的思維在思想上把自己和對方看作同舟共濟的伙伴,將談判看作攜手共進的過程。在方法上將對方當(dāng)作“人”看待，了解其想法、感受、需求并給予其應(yīng)有的尊重，將問題按其價值來處理。（B）重利益而不重立場談判最基本問題不是在立場上的沖突，而是雙方需求、欲望、關(guān)注的利益方面的沖突。任何利益一般都有多種可以滿足的方式；對立的背后，存在著共同利益和沖突性利益，共同利益大于沖突利益，調(diào)和的是利益而非立場。Treattheotherpartyasthepartnerinthesameconditionhelpeachother,treatnegotiationasaprocessofmakingprogresstogether.Treattheotherpartyas“human”,toknowtheirthoughts,feelings,needsandgivethemenoughrespect,anddealwithproblemsaccordingtotheirvalues,(B)focusonprofitnotstandpointThebasicprobleminnegotiationisnottheconflictinstandpoint,buttheconflictintwopartiesneeds,desireandprofitAnyprofitcanbesatisfiedbydifferentways;therearemutualprofitandconflictiveprofitbehindthenegotiation,andmutualprofitisalwaysmoreimportantthanconflictiveprofit,sotwopartiesshouldconciliatetheprofitratherthanthestandpoint.商務(wù)談判中的思維（C）先構(gòu)思各種選擇方案再提主張可選擇性是其必要條件-----方案只構(gòu)思不判斷；方案答案的多種多重性；方案考慮共有的利益；方案容易使對方作出決定。（D）堅持使用客觀標(biāo)準(zhǔn)客觀指不受情緒影響，獨立于各方主觀意志以外；應(yīng)關(guān)注價值，而非雙方的耐力。將雙方立場、觀點、意志力的較量轉(zhuǎn)換為雙方共同解決問題之努力。衡量標(biāo)準(zhǔn)：不損害雙方各自根本利益為原則；公平的判定；(C)thinkaboutplanfirst,thenbringforwardideasSelectiveisnecessary----onlythinkabouttheplanbutdonotmakejudgment;answersofaplancanbeseveral;makeconsiderationofmutualprofitintheplan;theotherpartycaneasilymakedecisionsaccordingtotheplan(D)insistobjectivestandardsImpersonalitymeansnotcontrolledbyemotionandindependentfromanysubjectiveideas;shouldfocusonvalueratherthanresistance.Twopartiesshouldmakeeffortstosolveproblemtogetherratherthanarguingofeachother’sstandpoint,ideaandwillpowerMeasuringstandards:donothurteachother’sownprofitfairjudgment商務(wù)談判中的思維（E）科學(xué)性與藝術(shù)性相結(jié)合談判學(xué)與其說是一門科學(xué)，更是一門藝術(shù)；它來源于實踐，是人們社會交往過程中交涉本領(lǐng)的提煉；它在運用過程需要高超的技巧和靈活的思維；同時需遵循其內(nèi)在的發(fā)展規(guī)律。談判實質(zhì)：（A）追求雙贏（B）既有合作又有沖突（C）結(jié)果是“互惠而非均等”(E)combinescienceandartistryNegotiationisnotonlyasciencebutalsoanart;itisfrompractice,anditistheabstractionofpeople’ssocialactivities;itneedsperfectskillsandsmartthoughts;italsohavetoobeyitsowndevelopmentrules.Essentialofnegotiation:(a)pursuingwin-winsituation(b)cooperationandconflictexisttogether(c)resultshouldbe“mutualbenefitratherthanequal”Thinkinginbusinessnegotiation（4）談判的基本心智A共同性利益和可以互補的分歧性利益，都能成為產(chǎn)生明智協(xié)議的誘因；B談判是合作的利己主義，在追求共同利益中才能追求到一己利益。C善于妥協(xié)是談判智慧的所在。（5）談判的策略標(biāo)準(zhǔn)有助于達(dá)成明智協(xié)議；有助于提供較高的談判效率；有助于發(fā)展或維系各方的友好關(guān)系。(4)basicwisdomofnegotiationA.mutualprofitandconflictiveprofitthataremutuallycomplementary,canbetheinducementofsettingupadvisableagreementB.negotiationistheself-interestincooperation,onecanonlygetself-interestduringpursuingmutualprofitC.goodatmakingcompromiseisthewisdomofnegotiation.(5)strategicstandardofnegotiationHelptoreachadvisableagreementHelptoprovidehighefficiencyHelptodevelopormaintainfriendlyrelationshipChapter2ProperBehaviorsinInternationalBusinessNegotiationsAssumptions\listening\talking\inquiring\observingChapter2ProperBehaviorsinInternationalBusinessNegotiations第二章國際商務(wù)談判中的正確行為舉止Assumptions假定Listening聽Talking說Inquiring問Observing觀察IntroductionThischaptertellsyouhowtobehaveproperlyduring

negotiation.Onealwaysmakesassumptionsbeforenegotiationandtriestoguessothers’assumptions.Butassumptionsmaybetrueorfalse,inwhichcasetheyneedtobeverified.Inordertoverifytheassumptions,youshouldgatherenoughinformationfromothers,sothatlistening,talking,inquiring,andobservingbecomeveryimportantforasuccessfulnegotiation.Thefollowingsectionsdiscusshowtobeanactivelistener,howtotalkineffectivenegotiatinglanguage,howtoaskandanswerquestions,howtofindvaluableinformationfromyouropponents’bodylanguageandhowtogetridofyourinappropriatebodylanguage.2.1Assumptions2.1.1Theconceptsofassumptions

Assumptionsareavitalpartofnegotiations.Inenteringanegotiation,amanisseverelyhandicappedunlesshereviewshisownassumptions---andanticipatestheassumptionsoftheotherparty.Thenegotiatormustneverforgetthatwhathisorherassumptionsareonlyaguessoraprobability.Itisnecessaryforustoreexamineoursupercargoofassumptions.Somearewrongandmustbediscarded.Othersneedtobemodified.Stillothersremainvalid.2.1.2ThetypesofhiddenassumptionsMakingthreecategoriesofhiddenassumptioncanproveusefulinnegotiation:Thefirstcategoryincludestheassumptionswemakeabouttheextensionalworld,thephysicalworldwhichexistsoutsidethemindofahumanbeing.Secondly,itincludesourintensionalworld.Forexample,theworldwhichexistswithinthemindofeachofus.Thirdly,italsoinvolvestheotherperson’sintensionalworld.Sometimeswegosofarastomakeassumptionsaboutwhatapersonisgoingtosaybeforehehashadachancetosayit.Weinterrupt,presentourversionofwhatheisabouttosay,andnevergiveourselvestheopportunityofhearingwhathemighthavesaid.Thuswedepriveourselvesofvaluableinformation.SUMMARYAssumption:Fixedthinkinginournegotiation,orsomethoughtstorage,certainhypothesistoaobject,orforecasttoabehavior,ordifferentphilosophyoflife.Example1:apersonthoughttobeagentlemanbecauseheiswell-dressedandtalkingoodtaste;butsomeonewouldthinkheispretendtobeasoft-spokenman.Example2:somepeoplemaybuyanewcarbecauseofitsstyle;butothersmaythinkthecapabilityofanewcarisnotthatreliableandrefusetobuyit.2.2ListeningAsidefromaskingquestionsandmakingstatements,onemustalsorecognizetheneedsoftheopposer.Onemethodislisteningcarefullytothewordsutteredbytheopposer.Payingattentiontophrasing,choiceofexpressions,mannerismsofspeech,andtoneofvoicebeingused.Alltheseelementsgivecluestotheneedsbehindthestatementsanopposermakes.ThebarrieroflisteningThebarrieroflisteningStudiesshowthattheaveragepersonremembersonlyabouthalfofwhatheorshehearsimmediatelyafterthespeakerstopstalking,nomatterhowcarefullythelistenerhaspaidattention.ThebarrieroflisteningsimplerulesatthesametimethatwillactuallyhelpyoumaximizethebenefityougetfromwhattheotherpersonissayingThebarrieroflisteningFirstofall,ifyoufindthesubjectdullandwouldnormallygooffonamentaltangent,recognizethatyouaretrappedintolisteninganywayandforceyourselftotuneinforanynewknowledgethatyoucanperhapssiftout.Ontheotherhand,thesubjectmaynotbeboring,butratherdifficultandhardtocomprehend,perhapsbecauseitistootechnicalordetailed.Donotallowyourmindtowanderonlybecausedistractionsaremorefunthanthetopicunderdiscussion.Trytodevelopaninterestandgraspthemeaningofthebroadthingsbeingsaid.ThebarrieroflisteningSecond,wetendtodismissstatementsiftheycomefrompeopleweconsiderunimportant.Withholdjudgmentuntilyourcomprehensionofthespeaker’sproposaliscomplete.Thegoodlistenerwillhearouttheotherpersonbeforepassingjudgmentandframingrebuttals.ThebarrieroflisteningThird,donotturnyourselfoffsimplybecausethespeaker’sdeliveryispoororunintelligible.Thespeakermaystillknowalotmoreaboutthesubjectthanitappears.Makeeveryefforttounderstandwhatisbeingsaid.Ifnecessary,interruptandaskthespeakertorepeatsomething.Thispersonwillappreciateyourinterestinnotwantingtomissanything.ThebarrieroflisteningOneoftheproblemseverylistenerhasistheabilitytothinkattherateofabout400wordsaminute---almostfourtimesfasterthantheaveragespeakertalks.Donotletyourminddrift.Instead,anticipatethespeaker’snextpointandgivethoughttowhatyouhearwhilewaitingforthenextidea.ThebarrieroflisteningWhentakingnotes,getdowntheconceptsandprinciples.Ifyouhavetime,writedownthefacts,butdonotletthemoverwhelmyoutothedegreethatyouaremissingimportantpoints.Notonlydoesnote-takingforceyoutolistencarefully,butitalsopsychologicallythrowsthespeakeroffthebalancewhenheorsheseesyounoddingandfuriouslywritingawayandhavingarecordofallthefactsandbasicallyeverythingsaid.Afurtherbenefitofnotetakingisthatyouhavetheperfectexcusetoavoideyecontactifyouareafraidtorevealyourreactionstosomeone’sproposals.ActivelisteningInordertobeagoodlistener,youmustbearinmindthatconversationornegotiationbetweenindividualscanproceedatvariouslevelsofmeanings.Aperson’sconversationorstatementhasseverallevelsofmeaning.Forexample,theopposer’sstatementononelevelisthemessagethatheorsheseemstobetryingtocommunicate.Onasecondlevel,itmaybethemessagethatwecaninferfromthewayheorshespeaksandthewordsbeingused.Onathirdlevel,itmayconveyameaningtousbecauseitislinkedwithhisorhermannerofapproachtothesubject.（根據(jù)弗羅伊德理論）ActivelisteningListeningisasmuchapersuasivetechniqueasspeaking.Asuccessfullistenermustkeepanopenmindandstrivetobefreefrombias（偏見）andpreconceivednotions.Thereisnoonemorecompetitiveandhostilethannegotiatorswhofeelthattheirbestargumentswereignored,misunderstoodordismissed.2.3TalkingNegotiationlanguageNegotiationsarealmostalwaysconductedonthreebasiclevelsofcommunication:thesubconsciouslevel,theemotionallevelandthelevelofreasonandlogic.Consistentlyhighachievementinnegotiationcanbeobtainedbymasteringallthreelevelsofnegotiationsothatthenegotiator’spositioncanbecommunicatedinamannerthatissimple,attractive,suggestive,enthusiastic,truthful,fair,logicandpersonal.2.3TalkingThemostlogicalandsoundreasoningwillbeoflittlevalueifitisnotcommunicatedinsimpleandpreciseterms.Youshouldsetforthonlythepointsneededtoencouragetheactionyoudesire.Youshouldbeinformativewithregardtosupportingdetailsonlytotheextentnecessarytomakeyourofferclear.Someofthemostcommonandseriouserrorscommittedbynegotiatorsinvolvetheiruseofwordsandtermswithbroadorambiguousmeanings.Donotsaysomethingislargeifyoucangiveexactmeasurements.Sentencesshouldalsobesimple,withthesubjectfirst,theverbnext,andtheobjectlast.Yourpresentationshouldbeexecutedinanattractivemannerthatispleasing,notoffensive.Itshouldbefairandconsidertheprosandcons,notsuspicious.Itshouldbecooperativeandfriendly,notargumentativeorhostile.Itshouldemphasizethepositive,notthenegative,stressthefamiliar,nottheunknown,andbedemocratic,notdictatorial.Yourpresentationshouldbeunderstated,notexaggerated;Itshouldprogressbystartingwitheasyissues,notthefrustrationandstalematepromotedbyhardissues.Itshouldbecomplimentaryandencourageagreement,notoffensiveordemeaning,discouragingcooperation.Itshouldrevealrewardconsequences,notpunishmentorathreateningoutcome,andshouldentertainandbeenthusiastic,keepingtheotherpersongluedtoyourthoughtsHowtoopenandcloseThereareanumberofapproachesyoucanusetoattractimmediateattention:①arousecuriositybyaskingaquestionrelatedtoyourtalk②saysomethinghumorous③startoffwithaninterestingnewsitem④beginwithaspecificillustrationorcase,whichtendstolendanairofseriousnessandrealitytoyourtalk⑤openwiththeimpactofaprofound

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⑥showavisualillustrationofyourmainpoints,whichcanbeeitherachart,pictureoritemrelatedtoyourtalk⑦openwithasimpleexplanationofhowyourtopicaffectsthecommoninterestsofthelisteners⑧startoffwithashockingstatement⑨casuallycommentonsomethingthathasjusthappenedorbeensaidatthemeetingifittiesintoyourpresentationHowtoopenandcloseYourclosingstatementcanbethesameasonewithwhichyouwouldendamemorandum,summarizingandbrieflyoutliningthemainpointsyoucover.Youcanappealforaction.Youcanpaythelistenersasincerecomplimentbymakingreferencetotheirorganization,stateorotheraspectofcommoninterest.Donotthrowoutthestandardcomplimentthatsoundsshallowandinsincere,suchas,“You’vebeenagreataudience.”Youcanalsoleavethemlaughingwhenappropriate.Severalaspectstobewareof

SeveralaspectstobewareofListenersunconsciouslyjudgeyoubyhowyoutalk.Yourspeakingvoiceisoneofthefirstimpressionspeoplehaveofyou,andthatimpressionisoftendominatedbyyourvoicequality.Severalaspectstobewareof

Apersonmaybecharacterizedasfriendlyifhisorhervoicesoundswarmandwellmodulated.Someonemaybethoughtofasdullanduninterestingifthevoicesoundsflatandmonotonous.Someonewhoistooloudmayappearbombastic.Someonewhoistoosoftmaybetaggedastimid.Speakingtoofastmayconveyimpatienceoranger.Speakingtooslowmaycausesomeonetobeviewedashesitantorfearful.2.4Inquiring

Duringnegotiation,therewillundoubtedlybetimeswhenyouneedtohavemoreinformationbeforeyoucanintelligentlyevaluateviewsadvancedbytheotherperson.Theusualwaytogetinformationistoaskaquestion.Questionsarewindowstothemind.Inanappropriatesituationyoushouldoftenaskyouropponent,“Whatdoyouwantfromthisnegotiation?Whatdoyouexpect?Whatwouldyouliketoaccomplish?”Throughsuchstraightforwardprobes,inadditiontootherinformation,Youcansucceedinfindingoutyouropponent’sneeds,whatheisafter,andthenguideyourfuturenegotiationaccordingly.AskingquestionsQuestionsappeartobeabletobedividedintofivebasicfunctions:

①Causeattention.Providepreparatoryconditionsfortheoperationoftheother’sthinking.Example:“Howareyou?”②Getinformation.Providequestionerwithinformation.“Howmuchisit?”③Giveinformation.Providetheotherwithinformation.“Didyouknowyoucouldhandlethis?”④Startthinking.Causetheother’sthinkingtooperate.“Whatwouldyoursuggestionbeonthis?”⑤Bringtoconclusion.Bringtheother’sthinkingtoaconclusion.“Isn’tittimetoact?”Askingquestions

Havingareserveoffunctionalquestionsreadyatanytimewillpermityoutodirectthestreamofconversationinanymanneryouwant.Youcanmakeupseveralquestionsthatwillhelpguideyouroverallstrategy.Atthesametime,undereachindividualtactic,haveseveralquestionsreadyformoment-to-momentguidance.Evenwhentheopposerisdoingmostofthetalking,youcansafelypermitthisbecausewiththeuseofaquestionyoucanalwaysobtainconversationalcontrol.HowtodeliverquestionsQuestionsmayraiseanxietyinthemindsofthosewhomustanswerthem.Theywillimmediatelythink,“Whataretheytryingtofindout?”or,“HowcanIavoidgivingawayinformationtheyshouldn’tknowabout?”Itisanestablishedfactthatanswerstodirectquestionsareunreliablebecausepeopledonotgenerallygivetruthfulresponsesanddonotalwayshavetheabilitytogivecorrectinformation,evenwhentheythinktheydo.Therearetwowaystoassureahighdegreeofreliabilityforanswerstoyourquestions.Onewayistolaythefoundationforaskingthem.Bylettingsomeoneknowwhyyouwanttoaskthequestion,youreducehisorheranxietylevelandconsequentevasiveness.Therewillbelessinhibitioningivingthetruefactsthatfirstcometomind.Forinstance,youaredoomedbeforeyoustartifyouaskyourvendor,“Howmanyofthesemachineshasourcompetitorbought?”Insteadyoushouldsay,“Irespectyourabilitytoanalyzetheneedsofcompanieslikemine.Howmanyofthesemachinesdoyoufeelacompanyofoursizeshouldhave?”Thisisa“nondirectivequestion”thatputspeopleateaseandallowsthemtoexpressthemselveswithsincerity.Thesecondmethodofassuringthereliabilityofanswerstoyourquestionsisthroughtheuseofthetacticcalled“bipolarquestioning.”Basically,thistechniqueaskstheanswerertomakeachoiceorexpressapreferencebetweentwodiametricallyopposedfeaturesofthesubjectinquestion.Suchquestioningisindirect.Theanswerwillshedlightonhowthepersonfeelsaboutthesubjectmatterasawhole,eventhoughtheansweronlyhasaconnectionwithafeatureofit.Forinstance,ifamanufacturerisofferingyoutherighttotakeonthedistributionofanewproductithasdeveloped,youshouldask:“Willitbesociallyacceptabletolower-classfamiliesorupper-classfamilies?”or,“Wouldmoreofthesebesoldtoteenagersoradults?”Gettinganswerstosuchquestionsbeforeindicatingtheareaofmarketintroductionyouhaveinmindwillgetyoutruthfulandunbiasedanswersfromthemanufacturer.Becauseuncertaintyisoneoftheprimefactorsinmakingpoororbaddeals,youmustforceyourselftoaskquestionsthatmakeyouuncomfortable.Havethecouragetopryintotheotherperson’saffairsifthefactsyouarelookingforareimportanttoyourdecision.Havethecouragetoaskwhatmayseemtobedumbquestions.Havethecouragetoaskquestionsthatyoufeelwillbeevaded.Evasionitselfwillgiveyouinformationyouneedtoknow.Bequietafteryouaskyourquestion.Makesilenceyourtoolforencouragingtheotherpersontotalkmoreandmoreandmore.Bepersistentinfollowingupyourquestionswhentheyevade.SeveralaspectstobewareofTheuseofquestionsisapowerfulnegotiationtoolandmustbeemployedwithdiscretionandjudgment.Thequestiondeterminesthedirectioninwhichtheconversation,argument,ortestimonywillmove.Theproperuseofthequestioncanoftencommandanensuingnegotiation.theuseofquestionsraisesseveralproblems.Onemayinnocentlytouchsomeemotionalchordwithaquestionandarouseconsiderableantagonism.Experienceshowsthatitisnecessarytopreparethegroundbeforeaskingquestions.Itisgoodpracticetoexplainthereasonforaskingaquestionwhereverthisisfeasible.Itavoidstroubleandembarrassment.Anotherwayofavoidingunnecessaryorunpleasantemotionalresponseistoavoidaskingforcingquestionslike“Whatisyourexcuse?”Anonforcingquestion,suchas“Howdoyoufeelaboutthematter?”permitsfullandcontinuingdiscussion.EffectiverespondingHowdoyoucounterquestions?Alwaysgiveyourselftimetothink.Neveransweruntilyouclearlyunderstandwhatisbeingasked.Donotbeembarrassedtoansweraquestionwithanotherquestion:“Whatdoyoumeanbythat?”Somequestionsdonotevendeserveanswers,especiallyiftheyareantagonisticorrhetorical.Donotbeafraidtogiveanexcuseforignorancebasedonincompleteknowledgeornotbeingabletoremember.EffectiverespondingProbablymostimportantofall,anticipatewhatquestionswillbeaskedsothatyoucanplanaheadwhetheryouaregoingtoanswertruthfully.Itiseasytospotafalseanswerwhenthequestioncatchesthepersonbysurprise.Eveniftheotherpersonisbarragingyouwithquestionsoneaftertheotherwithlightningspeed,donothesitatetoslowhimupwitheachquestionbygivingbackgroundinformationyoufeelisnecessary.Forinstance,“Youhavetounderstandthehistoryoftheproblem,whichbegan…”or,“I’mgoingtohavegivenyouthedetailedprocedurebeforewecanevenconsideryourquestion.”EffectiverespondingTherearesomealternativesthatyoumayuseonhowtoanswerwhenquestioned:

①Leavingtheotherpersonwiththeassumptionthathehasbeenanswered②Answeringincompletely.③Answeringinaccurately.④Leavingtheotherpersonwithoutthedesiretopursuethequestioningprocessfurther.2.5Observing

Besideslisteningtoyouropponentinanattempttolearnhisorherdesiresandneeds,youmustalsocloselyobservehisorhergestures.Forexample,inafriendlyconference,ifonemembersuddenlysitsbackandfoldshisarmswithsomeabruptness,youwouldknowatoncethattroublehadarrived.Gesturesaretremendouslyimportant.Theyconveymanyshadesofmeaning,andhavetheirpsychologicalundertonesandovertones.Therefore,observethegesturesofyouropposercarefullyandcontinuouslytogainacluetohisthinking.FacialexpressionEyesThemoutheyesIngeneral,duringconversationpeoplelookateachotherbetween30and60percentofthetime.peoplegenerallydomorelookingattheeyesofsomeonetheylike.Don'toverdoeyecontactbecauseitcanbecomeastare,whichsignalshostility,disrespect,athreatoraninsult.Apersonavoidingeyecontactwhilelisteningortalkingdoesnotnecessarilydislikeyouortelllies.mouthResearchershavefoundthatapersonwhoholdsalowerstatuspositiontendstodomoresmilingthanthepersonheorsheistalkingto.Thus,ifyouoverdoyoursmiling,youmayunintentionallyconveytheimagethatyouaresubordinatetotheotherpersonandnotanequal.Whatyouhaveinyourmouthandhowyouuseitcanbequiterevealing.BodylanguageofupperlimbsAsidefromfacialgestures,whatyoudowithyourhandsisthenextmostsignificantformofbodylanguage.Ofallhandsignals,thehandshakeisthemostrevealingandcangiveimportantcluestowhatsomeonereallythinksofyou.Afirmhandshakegivestheimpressionofquietconfidenceandsaysthatthispersonisgladtomeetyou.Italsosaysthattheindividualisanononsenseperson,confidentandatease.Theweakhandshakehasnoenergyatallandsuggestsacertainlackofconfidenceandwarmth.BodylanguageoflowerlimbsThewayapersonsitsisgenerallythewayheorshefeels.Apersonwhoselegsarecrossedandwho,perhaps,isleaningawayfromyouprobablyviewsyouinacompetitivemanner.Studiesshowthatmostnegotiationsarenotsuccessfullycompleteduntilbothnegotiatorshaveuncrossedtheirlegsandmovedclosertowardeachother.Ifcrossedlegsarealsocoupledwithcrossedarms,youhaveadifficultadversary.Ifthetopcrossedlegismovingupanddowninarhythmicmotion,theotherpersonisprobablyalsoboredwithyourideas.Normally,apersonwhodislikesyouorfeelsthreatenedbyyouwillleanfarbackinthechairormayinsteadsitupverystraightandtensely.HowtogetridofthedetrimentalbodylanguageThebestwaytorelaxandfeelgoodaboutyourselfistoforceyourselftobelieveyouaresuperior.Makebelievetheotherpersonorthegroupofpeopleyouaretalkingtoisindebtedtoyou.Imaginethegrouphasassembledtobegyouforanextensionofcredit.Youwillfindthatyouactuallyfeelmoreconfident,andpretencewillchangetorealitybecauseapersonbecomesfearlesswhenpracticingfearlessness.Ifyoufeelyourhandsmakingnervousmovements,putthembehindyourbackorinyourpockets,Inshort,byforcingyourmindtobeconfident,youwillsimultaneouslydisplayanattitudeofexternalcalmanddeliberationandconveytheimpressionofauthority,knowledge,courtesyandcooperation.PracticalSentencesAgreeing，HesitatingandDisagreeingIcouldn’tagreemore.Ithinkyourproposalisacceptable.Ihavenoobjectiontothisplan.Iaminagreementinprinciple,butIhavereservations.I’mbasicallyinfavorofit,buttheproblemshouldbediscussedfurther.Letmethinkitover.Iwillgivemyanswerlater.Sorry,it’sagainstourpractice.Franklyspeaking,Iamnothappywiththedecision.Wewon’tsurviveunderthepresentpricingagreement.Sorrytointerrupt,butI’dliketosaythatyo