英語書面表達如何擴充細節(jié)

專攻解題方法與技巧英語書面表達如何擴充細節(jié)一、追加成分高考英語寫作不僅規(guī)定了寫作內(nèi)容，還明確規(guī)定了詞數(shù)80左右。因為篇幅過短，若不能吸引閱卷老師細看以便查找諸如“高級詞匯”“較高級結構”等“加分點”，自然影響得分檔次。在試題“注意”中有明確規(guī)定：“1.詞數(shù)80左右；2.可以適當增加細節(jié)，以使行文連貫”。這里既規(guī)定了詞數(shù)，又指定了充實文章的方法，即“適當增加細節(jié)”?！斑m當增加細節(jié)”其中很重要的一個方法就是——追加成分。目的擴展句子，充實文章方法在要點句基礎上適當增加合乎邏輯的附加成分，如定語(從句)、狀語(從句)(如目的、條件、原因、結果、方式等)、非謂語結構、獨立主格結構、舉例等，使表達更豐滿，內(nèi)容更充實，主題更突出。特色結構多變，句式多樣[給學生實例，讓學生增加成分]1．(提醒演講參賽選手)要守時、講衛(wèi)生、守紀律。Pleasearriveontime,keepquietanddon'tlitteraround.→Pleasearrivethereontime,

for

whoever

is

late

won'tbeallowedtoenter.It's

bad

manners

to

litteraround.Andalwayskeepquiet

while

waiting

for

your

turn.[分析]原句雖然沒有直譯所給要點，且靈活化解了難點，但過于直白、語氣較為生硬；而改寫后的句子則進行了拓展，具體明確。如“forwhoeverislate...”提醒參賽選手遲到后果的嚴重性；“It'sbadmanners...”使用it作形式主語的句型，指出亂扔東西屬于不禮貌行為；“whilewaitingforyourturn”使用狀語從句的省略形式，進行補充說明。因此，改寫后的句子更充實，更適合對參賽選手提建議的語境。2.(演講注意事項)要面帶微笑；要講慢些，講清楚。Besuretowearasmileonyourface.Besides,remembertospeakslowlyandclearly.→Besuretowearasmileonyourface

when

you

speak,

which

will

make

you

relaxed.Besides,remembertospeakslowlyandclearly

so

that

you

can

leave

a

good

impression

on

the

audience

and

judges.[分析]加黑部分是根據(jù)語境所追加的成分，如“whichwillmakeyourelaxed”指出“演講時微笑”的好處；“sothatyoucan...”為“講慢些，講清楚”的目的，留下好印象是“演講”效果之一，也是能否獲得評委青睞的因素之一。適當增加與所給信息相關的時間、原因、結果、條件、目的等成分來表達細節(jié)內(nèi)容，能夠使習作流暢、豐滿，達到應有的表達效果。[即時訓練]請發(fā)揮合理想象，擴展句子(請注意括號內(nèi)提供的語境)1．(2019·全國卷Ⅲ書面表達)(告知將舉辦音樂節(jié))我們學校音樂廳將舉辦一場中國古典音樂會。As

we

all

know,

thereisaChineseclassicalmusicconcertthatwillbeheldinthemusichallofourschoolonNovember8th.

Accordingtotheconcertposter,

manymusicmasterpieceswillbeplayedbyafamousband.2．(2019·全國卷Ⅰ書面表達)(介紹語言能力)克服語言障礙。What's

more,

with

a

good

command

of

English,

Icanovercomethelanguagebarrier,

which

allows

me

to

communicate

smoothly

with

British

painting

lovers.更重要的是，憑借良好的英語水平，我可以克服語言障礙，使我能夠與英國繪畫愛好者順利溝通。3．(2018·全國卷Ⅱ書面表達)(通知學校放映電影)這部英文短片主要與我們學校的發(fā)展有關。TheEnglishshortfilmismainlyrelatedtothedevelopmentofourschool,

which

will

greatly

help

us

students_know

the

school's

history

better

and

appeal

to

us

to

make

contributions

to

our

school's

development.4．(2018·全國卷Ⅲ書面表達)(介紹學校體育館)體育館已經(jīng)建立起來，許多運動項目可在里面舉行。Tobeginwith,anewstadiumhasbeenbuiltup,

which

has

become

the

new

landmark

in

our

school.Moreover,withthestadiumsetup,awiderangeofsportseventsareabletobeheld,

of

which

table

tennis,

football

as

well

as

running

competitions

enjoy

great

popularity.5．(2018·北京高考書面表達)(咨詢來北京上大學)建議你上北京大學，中國文學專業(yè)適合你。Learning

your

keen

interest

in

Chinese

culture,_IsuggestyouapplyforPekingUniversity,

oneof

the

best

universities

in

China.ItsChineseLiteraturemajorisperfectforyou

whereyou

can

be

completely

soaked

in

Chinese

profound

history

and

rich

culture.二、補加語句補加語句是常見的“增加細節(jié)”的方法，這可以使文章顯得錯落有致，這樣不僅使文章在形式上增加美感，而且使文章讀起來鏗鏘有力，從而使作文在內(nèi)容上更加連貫、豐滿。下面介紹補加語句的幾種技法：目的充實文章，增強連貫性方法根據(jù)行文走向，適當增加一些與主題相關的語句，或由要點衍生的句子，既起到前引后聯(lián)的作用，又能補充一些相關信息，幫助閱卷者理解所寫內(nèi)容。同時，還能協(xié)調句式，避免句式單調的問題特色協(xié)調句式，結構多樣技法1列舉具體的實例進行補充說明[給學生實例，讓學生增加成分]①我喜歡讀書。Ilikereadingbooks.→Ilikereadingbooks,

suchasnovels,shortstories,magazinesandnewspapers.②我要花一些時間和父母在一起。I'llspendsometimestayingwithmyparents.→I'llspendsometimestayingwithmyparents,

chattingwiththemanddoingsomehousework.③我想找一個像我一樣喜歡旅行的筆友。I'dliketoseekapenpalwhoisinterestedintravelingjustlikeme.→I'dliketoseekapenpalwhoisinterestedintravelingjustlikeme.Ifpossible,wecantraveltogetherorsharetravelingexperiences.技法2增添與所寫信息相關的神態(tài)、動作、心理描寫以及背景渲染等內(nèi)容[給學生實例，讓學生增加成分]①我有時去村西的小河游泳。Igoswimmingintheriverofthewestofthevillagenowandthen.→Igoswimmingintheriverofthewestofthevillagenowandthen.Thewaterintheriverisveryclear.(背景渲染)→Weatherpermitting,Igoswimmingintheriverofthewestofthevillagenowandthen.(相關背景)②旅行了一周后，他回到了家。Afteraweek'strip,hereturnedhome.→Afteraweek'strip,hereturnedhome,

tiredbutveryhappy.(心理描寫)技法3增加相關信息的時間、地點等內(nèi)容[給學生實例，讓學生增加成分]①我要和父母一起去超市購物。I'mgoingtodosomeshoppingwithmyparentsinthesupermarket.→I'mgoingtodosomeshoppingwithmyparentsinthesupermarket

andwon'tbebackuntilabout5：00intheafternoon.(增加時間)②我已經(jīng)帶來了你讓我歸還的這兩本書。Ihavetakenwithmethetwobooksyouaskedmetoreturn.→Ihavetakenwithmethetwobooksyouaskedmetoreturn

totheCityLibrary.(增加地點)③(談論善款用途)募捐得來的錢將送給最急需的人。Themoneycollectedinthecharitysalewillbesenttothoseingreatneed.→Themoneycollectedinthecharitysalewillbesenttothoseingreatneed.This

will

not

only

help

them

get

through

difficulties,

but

also

give

them

warmth

and

happiness.[分析]通過復合句來增加“較復雜結構”，同時也是上一句衍生的“效果”：幫助他們戰(zhàn)勝困難，還給予他們溫暖和幸福。[即時訓練]請適當補加語句，充實下面寫作片段1．(2019·全國卷Ⅲ書面表達)(介紹音樂節(jié)的情況)Asscheduled,thefestivalwillstartat9：00a．m.onAugust15th.(1)It

will

last

two

and

a

half

hours.

(2)Additionally,

we

will

be

fully

absorbed

in

the

attractive

and

fascinatingperformances.(3)Andatthesametime

we

will

sit

on

the

grass

and

enjoy

the

tasty

food

and

drinks

provided

by

sponsors.

(4)Furthermore,

we

also

expect

to

see

you

on

the

stage

then.2．(說明自己所擅長的兩項技藝)AsaChinese,I'mgoodatmanyskillsrelated

to

ourtraditionalculture.Butamongthem,Taichiismyfavoritebecauseitdoesmuchgoodtomyhealth.I'm

sure

American

friends

will

be

also

crazy

about

it

after

they

touch

it.Andasyouknow,Chinesecookingispopularallovertheworld.

（2）It

happens

that

I'm

Expertat

it,and

I'm

glad

to

present

some

traditional

Chinese

dishesto

everybody.3．(2018·天津高考書面表達)(邀請他的原因(1)We

are

desperately

in

need

of

your

help.Soasthegroupleader,Isincerelyinviteyoutojoinus.Iamconvincedthatwithourjointeffortswecanundoubtedlygetgoodresults.What'smore,(2)I

will

email

you

our

training

plan

soon,

hoping

you

can

offer

some

constructive

suggestions

regarding

it.4．(2018·浙江高考書面表達)(應聘志愿者的相關經(jīng)驗)Firstly,IcanspeakfluentEnglishand(1)I

have

little

difficulty

communicating

with

foreigners.Secondly,Ihelpedreceivesomevisitingforeignerstoourschoollastyear.

(2)This

experience

is

sure

to

enable

me

to

do

better

this

year.5．(互聯(lián)網(wǎng)的好處)TheInternetisplayingamoreandmoreimportantpartinourdailylife.We

can

not

only

read

news

from

home

and

abroad,

but

also

get

information,

send

emails

and

attend

online

schools.三、增加過渡增加過渡是常見的“增加細節(jié)”的方法，過渡性詞語和過渡性語句的使用是語言連貫性得以實現(xiàn)的最常用手段。在句與句之間、段與段之間恰當?shù)厥褂靡恍┏猩蠁⑾碌倪^渡(連接)性詞語，句子可避免語句陡轉直下，不聯(lián)不搭，通過合理過渡，實現(xiàn)語句的銜接順暢。這就需要考生在日常學習中積累背誦常用的過渡詞。例如：表示列舉的firstly,secondly,thirdly,finally；表示自己看法的asfarasI'mconcerned,frommypointofview,inmyopinion；表示轉折的onthecontrary,however,everycoinhastwosides等。目的增加凝聚力，突出連貫性方法根據(jù)行文或段落需要，在句與句或段與段之間適當增加過渡性詞語，或者過渡句，以使文章渾然一體，提高說服力特色行文連貫，條理清晰[[給學生實例，讓學生增加成分]]1．(話題：家長用車接送學生引起校門口擁堵)Ourtrafficdepartmentshouldstrengthenmanagementtomaketheparentsobeytrafficrules.Ourschoolshouldappealtousstudentstowalkorrideabiketoandfromschool,whichisnotonlyfriendlytoourtrafficenvironmentbutalsoisgoodforstudents'health.→In

my

opinion,

the

problem

can

be

solved

from

two

aspects.On

one

hand,

ourtrafficdepartmentshouldstrengthenmanagementtomaketheparentsobeytrafficrules.On

the

other

hand,

ourschoolshouldappealtousstudentstowalkorrideabiketoandfromschool,whichisnotonlyfriendlytoourtrafficenvironmentbutalsoisgoodforstudents'health.[分析]本段作者使用Inmyopinion,theproblemcanbesolved...主題句，其中fromtwoaspects讓讀者明白作者提供了兩個方面的建議，并以ononehand,ontheotherhand進行展示。這些過渡性詞語和過渡句的恰當使用，使文章語言連貫、過渡自然、渾然一體。2．(去美國學習英語詢問具體問題)I'mconcernedwithhowfaritisfromthehostfamilytomyschool.I'mwonderingwhetheraprivatebedroomwillbeofferedtome.ItendtoknowifthereareanyspecialcustomsthatIshouldpayattentionto.Wouldyoupleasegivemesomemoresuggestionsonhowtogetalongwellwiththehostfamily？I'msureyouradvicewillbenefitmealot.→Firstly，I'mconcernedwithhowfaritisfromthehostfamilytomyschool.Secondly,

I'mwonderingwhetheraprivatebedroomwillbeofferedtome.Furthermore，ItendtoknowifthereareanyspecialcustomsthatIshouldpayattentionto.Last

but

not

least,

wouldyoupleasegivemesomemoresuggestionsonhowtogetalongwellwiththehostfamily？I'msureyouradvicewillbenefitmealot.[分析]本段作者使用firstly,secondly,furthermore,lastbutnotleast使層次清晰連貫，使文章提高一個檔次，彰顯作者實力。[即時訓練]Ⅰ.用過渡性詞匯補全句子1．(2019·全國卷Ⅰ書面表達)First

of

all/To

begin

with

(首先),I'mabigfanoftraditionalChinesepaintings.Therefore

(因此)，IamcapableofofferingvisitorsdetailedexplanationsonthestoriesoffamousChinesepainters.2．(2018·浙江高考寫作)Welostourwayintheforestand

to

make

matters

worse/worse

still

(更糟的是),itgotdark.3．(2018·北京高考書面表達)In

my

opinion/view

(依我看),studyingforadegreeinadifferentcultureisnevereasy.4．On

the

one

hand

(一方面),theycansweepthetombsforthedead.On

the

other

hand

(另一方面),theycangoforawalkinthecountryinspringwhenthegrasshasjustturnedgreen.5．In

a

word/In

conclusion/In

short/In

brief

(總之),successisimportant,andsoisfailure,becauseit'sthemotherofsuccess.Ⅱ.閱讀下面短文，從方框中選擇適當?shù)倪^渡性詞語填空近來，中學生普遍缺乏自我保護意識這一問題備受關注，請你用英語寫一篇短文：1．概括中學生自我保護的重要性；2．就如何保護自己談談你的看法(至少兩點)。Recently,ithasbeenagreatpublicconcernthatthestudentslackselfprotectionawareness.Thereisalackofsocialexperienceamongstudentsandthereforelearninghowtoprotectourselvesisofgreatsignificancetousall.1.For

one

thing,

securitycomesfirst.2.For

another

thing,

protectingourselvescontributestothehealthydevelopmentofusstudents.3.Meanwhile,

italsohelpstobuildamoreharmonioussociety.4．Personally,

inordertoprotectusstudents,5.above

all,

weshouldstrengthenoursecurityawareness.6.Besides,

whenaccidentsoccur,weshouldcalmdownandturntoteachersorparentsforhelp.7.In

a

word,

onlybythecombinedeffortsofeverysideinvolvedcanweliveandstudyinharmony.Ⅲ.請在下面的段落內(nèi)加上適當?shù)脑~語或句子，以充實文章(2019·全國卷Ⅰ書面表達)(話題：申請作為倫敦一家美術館舉辦中國畫展覽的志愿者的優(yōu)勢)First

of

all,

havinglivedinChinaforsixteenyearsandhavinglearntEnglishsinceIwasachild,IhaveagoodcommandofEnglishandChinese,which

is

beneficial

forIntroducingChinese

paintings.Besides,(3)having

a

good

knowledge

of

Chinese

paintings,

Icangetforeignersandthelocalstoknowmoreaboutit.(4)Last

but

not

least,_throughmyintroductionandefforts,Ibelieve,IcanstrengthenthefriendshipbetweenChinaandEngland.四、詳加描述詳加描述是常見的“增加細節(jié)”的方法，這可以使文章詞數(shù)達標、內(nèi)容充實、結構連貫、語意順暢。目的有詳有略，主次分明方法根據(jù)提示要求，首先確定主要點和次要點，然后在主要點上著筆潑墨。除了前面提到的采用“追加成分”以擴展句子的方式外，還可把一些主要點分開詳述，從而提升這些要點的分量特色詳略得當，重點突出[給學生實例，讓學生增加成分]下面是一位考生的習作，請進行修改，以充實文章、突出主題。一家英語報社向中學生征文，主題是“我理想的大學生活”，請根據(jù)下列要求和你的暢想完成短文。1．專業(yè)與課程；

2.老師與同學；

3.學?；顒?。注意：1.詞數(shù)80左右；2．可以適當增加細節(jié)，以使行文連貫；3．開頭語已給出，不計入總詞數(shù)。Ioftenimaginewhatmylifewillbelikeinmydreamuniversity._______________________________________________________________________________________________[學生習作](得分16分)Ioftenimaginewhatmylifewillbelikeinmydreamuniversity.I'llbeadmittedtoPekingUniversityandmajorinEnglish.Theprofessortherewillbefriendly.Besides,I'llhavelovelyandcaringclassmates.Inoursparetime,variousactivitieswillbeheld.[分析]該文雖然把題干中給出的三個要點一一列出，結構清晰，還使用了一些高級詞匯如beadmittedto,avarietyof,bedevotedto,various等。然而由于簡單羅列要點，全文只有約60詞，且缺少連貫性，未能完全完成試題規(guī)定的任務。下面是修改完成后的作文，請注意加黑句子對充實文章、突出主題的作用。

Ioftenimaginewhatmylifewillbelikeinmydreamuniversity.As

far

as

I

can

imagine,

I'llbeadmittedtoPekingUniversity,

where

I'llmajorinEnglish.

It

will

help

me

have

a

better

understanding

of

foreign

cultures.Theprofessorstherewillbefriendly,

with

whose

help

not

only

can

I

enrich

my

knowledge

but

also

I

can

broaden

my

horizons.In

addition,

I'llhavelovelyandcaringclassmates.Inourfreetime,variousactivitieswillbeheld

tobuildupourcourageandexperience.[分析]修改后的文章篇幅適中(120words)，要點齊全、內(nèi)容充實、語言豐富、句式多樣、行文連貫，而且詳略得當，主題突出。文中“詳加描述”合情合理(見加黑部分)?？傊胧刮恼鲁鋵?、連貫，就需要“適當增加細節(jié)”。但是，這些細節(jié)的增加需要結合體裁、主題以及行文走向，“畫龍點睛”式地增加，絕不能毫無節(jié)制地亂加一氣，以免沖淡主題，模糊文意，甚至“跑偏了”主題。[即時訓練]Ⅰ.下面是一位考生的習作，請進行修改，以充實文章、突出主題。假定你是李華，最近你的英國筆友James發(fā)來郵件說他的第一本小說出版了，并給你寄來了樣書(samplecopy)。請用英語給他回一封郵件，內(nèi)容如下：1．表示祝賀；2．感謝贈書；3．希望提些寫作建議。注意：1.詞數(shù)80左右(開頭和結尾已給出，不計入總詞數(shù))；2．可以適當增加細節(jié)，以使行文連貫。DearJames，________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Yourssincerely，LiHua[考生習作]DearJames，I'mveryexcitedandinspiredbythenewsthatyourfirstnovelhasbeenpublished.I'dliketothankyouformailingasamplecopyofyournoveltome.Bytheway,I'malsoveryinterestedinwritingandIamanxioustoknowhowtochooseagoodtopicforanovelanddevelopit.Willyougivemesomeadvice?I'mlookingforwardtoyourearlyreply.Yours

sincerely，Li

Hua[修改完成后的作文]Dear

James，I'mveryexcitedandinspiredbythenewsthatyourfirstnovelhasbeenpublished.I'dliketooffermysincerecongratulationstoyouonyourgreatsuccess.Actually,Ihavewitnessedyourprogresswithadmirationalltheseyears,andIcanimaginehowmucheffortyouhaveputintoyourwriting.Besides,

I'dliketothankyouformailingasamplecopyofyournoveltome.I

can

hardly

wait

to

read

it.Bytheway,I'malsoveryinterestedinwritingandIamanxioustoknowhowtochooseagoodtopicforanovelanddevelopit.Willyougivemesomeadvice?I'mlookingforwardtoyourearlyrep