讀后續(xù)寫講評課8省聯(lián)考公開課課件

It’sourdutytoloveourcountry.However,therearedifferentwaystoshowourlove.

……

ModelHowtowritethebeginning?_______________________________________featureSimpleClearMainidea英語習(xí)作展示七三四法則七個(gè)“不”三個(gè)原則正能量原則原文一致原則七不違背邏輯常理六不偏離原文主題五不在文末設(shè)置懸念四不用負(fù)能量結(jié)局三不用過多對話一不增加人物二不增加旁支情節(jié)曲折性原則:前后銜接、連貫、語言風(fēng)格一致:弘揚(yáng)社會(huì)主義核心價(jià)值觀:人物會(huì)遇到困難，但最終能解決目錄通讀全文，理清脈絡(luò)增加細(xì)節(jié)，開始寫作細(xì)讀首句，構(gòu)思框架檢查優(yōu)化，整潔謄寫WhenWhereWhoPlot(What、Why、How)AboutnoonOnthesideoftheroad“I”andaMexicanfamily(father,motherandtheirdaughter)TherewassomethingwrongwithmyJeep(para.1)AMexicanfamilyhelpedmesuccessfully(para.2-3)“I”paidthemoney,butherefused.Igaveittohiswifequietly(para.4)Theywouldgohome(endofthestory)

通讀全文，理清脈絡(luò)11.Werolleditoverandputhisjackontop,andwewereinbusiness.()2.Istarttakingthewheeloff,andthen,ifyoucanbelieveit,Ibrokehistireiron.

()3.Eachtimethesethingshappened,Iwassickofthewaymostpeoplehadn'tbotheredtohelp.

()4.Hesizedupthesituationandcalledforhisdaughter,whospokeEnglish.

()5.原文沒有對話，續(xù)寫中也要__________對話。語言特色并列句非謂語作賓語主從復(fù)合句--狀語從句主從復(fù)合句--非限制性定語從句盡量少用兩段首句定一框二框二首正能量由續(xù)寫的第一段首句與第二段首句確定第一段的框架第二段的框架，由第二段首句與正能量結(jié)尾來確定

WhenIwasabouttosaygoodbye,thegirlaskedifI'dhadlunch._____________________________________________________________________________________...______________________________________________________________________...

由“thegirlaskedifI'dhadlunch”可知，續(xù)寫段首句可寫作者的回答；接著敘述是否一起吃午飯。由第二段“openedthepaperbag”可逆推出，該段應(yīng)提及墨西哥家庭給了作者一個(gè)紙袋子。

根據(jù)“openedthepaperbag”,第一段首句中的“l(fā)unch”和原文中的“a$20bill”可知：紙袋里是吃的和20美元；續(xù)寫結(jié)尾應(yīng)呼應(yīng)原文主題，體現(xiàn)正能量“passloveon”。

細(xì)讀首句，構(gòu)思框架2所見所聞、所說所思所做環(huán)境描寫心理描寫語言描寫動(dòng)作描寫Aftertheyleft,IgotintomyJeepandopenedthepaperbag._______..._...沒有吃午餐給我(面包)裝有水果的紙袋揮手告別水果農(nóng)場的生活袋子里有水果、$20(便簽)我感謝了他們回想他們的幫助，很感動(dòng)將愛傳遞下去咬一口水果打開便簽便簽內(nèi)容

增加細(xì)節(jié)，開始寫作3

檢查優(yōu)化，整潔謄寫4

審讀初稿，注意語義是否銜接，前后是否連貫，事件是否符合邏輯，語言特色是否與前文一致。在檢查優(yōu)化之后，整齊工整地謄寫在答卷上。Ididn't--couldn't--answerwhenIsawthebill.佳句參考Lookingathersincereeyes,Ican'trefuse.Myeyesburstintotears.Tomyamazement,therewasa$20billlyinginthepaperbag.IopenedthebagandIcaughtsightofthe$20bill.2王敏玥1肖雨軒Isawa$20bill!Isn'tthatthemoneyIgavetohiswife?Icouldn'thelpcrying.3吳成州4李詩琪6李詩琪佳句參考WhenIcaughtsightofthissentence,Ifeltsowarmandhappy.Thefamilyweresokind.Theyweretheraysofsunshineinmylife,shiningatthebuttomofmyheart.Iwillfollowthemandpassloveon.9

郭俊雄Therewasa$20billlyinginthepaperbag.7

申露、胡爭艷10

劉思豪Iwaslostinthought.8

喻攀云主從復(fù)合句主從復(fù)合句主從復(fù)合句非謂語非謂語并列句并列句并列句出彩結(jié)尾寫作積累--感動(dòng)篇1.Moved/Toucheddeeply,we...

被深深感動(dòng)，我們...2.Withtearsstreamingdownherface,she...

淚水順著她的臉頰流了下來，...3.Overwhelmingwithheartfeltgratitude,Icouldn'tutteraword.

充滿感激，無語凝噎。4.Tearsfillinghereyes,sheexpressedherheartfeltgratitude.

她熱淚盈眶，表