英語畢業(yè)論文-范本-淺析中美家庭教育的差異

淺析中美家庭教育的差異AnAnalysisoftheDifferencesofFamilyEducationBetweenChinaandAmerica

AbstractChildrenarethehopeofanation,andfamilyeducationistheelementaryeducationforchildren.Manyseriousproblemshaveappearedinoureducationsysteminrecentyears.Almosteveryonehasrealizedtheimportanceofsolvingtheseproblemsandmanypeoplehavepresentedalotofvaluablesuggestions.Therearemanytypesoffamilyeducationintheworldandeachofthemshowsdistinctivefeaturesandiscloselyresponsivetoitsculture.AndAmericanfamilyeducationisthemostfamousoneamongthem.Therearegreatdifferencesintheconceptsofeducation,methodsofeducationandresultsofeducationbetweenAmericanfamilyeducationandChinesefamilyeducation.Thispaperwillanalyzethosedifferencesfromthethreeaspects,andwillmainlyanalyzeofthedifferencesoncultivatingchildren’sindependence,interests,creativity,psychologicalhealth,fameandtherelationshipwiththeirparentsbetweenthetwokindsoffamilyeducation.TheauthorhopestofindasatisfiedfamilyeducationmethodthroughcomparingthedifferencesbetweenAmericanfamilyeducationandChinesefamilyeducation.Atthesametime,theauthorhopesthispapercanprovidesomehelpfulsuggestionsforfamilyeducation.KeyWordsFamilyeducation;independence;interest;differences

摘要兒童是一個國家的希望，家庭教育是兒童教育的基礎(chǔ)。近年來，我們的教育出了很多嚴(yán)重的問題。幾乎每一個人都認(rèn)識到了解決這些問題的重要性，并提出了很多有價值的見解。世界上有很多類型的家庭教育，并且各自都有其鮮明和獨(dú)特的特點(diǎn)，反映了其獨(dú)特的文化。而這些類型的家庭教育中，尤其以美國的家庭教育最能代表西方主流文化。中美家庭教育在育兒觀、教育方式和教育結(jié)果方面都有所不同。本文將從這三方面來對比中美家庭教育，重點(diǎn)分析兩種教育方式在培養(yǎng)孩子的獨(dú)立性、興趣、創(chuàng)造力、心理健康、名利觀以及與父母關(guān)系方面的差異。通過比較中美家庭教育，作者希望能找到一種比較科學(xué)優(yōu)良的家庭教育方式，進(jìn)而為我們的家庭教育提供有利的幫助。關(guān)鍵詞家庭教育；獨(dú)立性；興趣；差異

Introduction“Childrenaretheexpectationoftheirparentsandthehopeofanation.Familyeducationisnotonlyanimportantcomponentofeducationbutalsothefirstlessontoachild,whichwillberememberedforever.”(ZhaoZhongxin,P1,1991)Familyeducationhasadirectinfluenceonthequalitiesoftalents.Inthe21stcentury,internationalcompetitionisbecomingfiercer.Anditisacompetitionfortalentsfundamentally.Thus,eachcountryshouldpaymoreattentiontofamilyeducationintheeducationprojects.Theissuehasbeenbecomingahottopicinourcountry,anditarousedgreatconcernofourgovernmentandallwalksofsociety,inparticulartheeducationsector.However,manypeoplethinkthatschoolsanduniversitieshavethemainresponsibilityfortheseproblemswhichappearedineducationinrecentyears.Schoolsanduniversitiesaretobeblamed,buttheirparentsaremoretobeblamed.“Iftheloveofthegood,thebeautyandthetruthhadbeenimplantedproperlyintheirmindinearlyyears,iftheyhadbeentrainedtousetheirmindsattheverybeginning,theywouldnotlivesofoolishly.”(KarlWeter.P5,2002)Inordertofindabetterwaytoeducateourchildren,weshouldstudyothercountries’experiences.Therearemanytypesoffamilyeducationintheworld,andAmericanfamilyeducationisthemostfamousone.SoitisnecessaryandsignificanttomakeacomparisonofthedifferencesoffamilyeducationbetweenAmericaandChina.ThispaperistocomparingChinesefamilyeducationandAmericanfamilyeducationsuperficially,whichmayoffersomelessonstofamilyeducation.

I.TwoConceptionsofFamilyEducationA.AmericanFamilyEducation

InAmerica,parents’aimsaretotraintheirchildrentohavetheabilityofadaptingtoenvironmentalvarietyandtheabilityoflivingindependently.Basedonthisconcept,mostAmericanparentsemphasizemoretotraintheirchildren’sabilityofindependenceoncetheyareborn.Theygenerallybelievethatchildren’sgrowthmustrelyontheirownexperiences,becausetheythinkthatchildrenshouldformaself-supportingwillandthecapacitytoliveindependentlysincetheirchildhood.Andthecapacitycomesfromthetrainingintheearlyage.Theso-calledtrainingcontainsmanyaspects,suchaswork,temperwill,patience,thespiritofhardwork,etc.However,themostfundamentaltrainingistheabilityofadaptingtohardconditions.Throughtheprocessofwork,childrenwillformthelaborsense,learnsomeworkskillsandformahabitoflabor.Besides,childrencanlearnhowtoovercomedifficulties,tempertheirwillpower,developtheirtalentsandskills,richtheirknowledge,andformahabitofhardworkandthriftybyworkinginhardconditions.Itisjustintheunconsciouslyprocessthatchildrenwillobtaintheindependentsurvivabilityandtaketheresponsibilitiesforthesociety.B.ChineseFamilyEducation

ComparedwithAmerican,Chineseparentshaveaverydifferentconceptofchildren’seducation.SomeparentsinChinaonlycareaboutwhetherthechildrenhaveapromisingfuture,agoodjob,agoodlifeornot.Basedontheseexpectations,themajorityofparentsfeelthattheirresponsibilityfortheirchildrenistocreateasgoodconditionsaspossibletheycansothatthechildrenwillnotworryaboutanythinginthefuture.Chineseparentswouldliketoprovideeverythingwhattheycanfortheirchildrenintheprocessofchildren’sgrowth.Inshort,theywouldliketosacrificeanythingiftheirchildrencanlivebetterwiththeirhelp.Therefore,intheprocessofchildren’sgrowth,themostimportantthingtheparentsconcerningistodevelopingtheirchildren’sintellect,exceptforcaringchildren’sdailylife.Inordertomaketheirchildrenhaveagoodperformanceinstudy,becomeoutstanding,orevenbecomeafamouspersoninthefuture,theywouldnotletchildrendoanythingexceptstudying.Asforthechildren’sindependence,civicawarenessandtheirabilityadaptingtothesocietyinthefuture,theyconsiderlittleornotatall.FromtheseaspectswecanfindtheobviousdifferencesoffamilyeducationbetweenAmericaandChina.II.TwoDifferentKindsofWaysofFamilyEducation.A.DifferencesinCultivationofChildren’sIndependence

Becauseofafundamentaldifferenceonparentalconcept,therearetwocompletelydifferentwaysoncultivatingtheirownchildren’sindependence.

1.

TheCultivationofChildren’sIndependenceinAmerica

Firstandforemost,ChinesefamilyeducationandAmericanfamilyeducationvaryintheattitudetowardsindependence.MostAmericanparentsthinkthatthechildisanindependentindividualsinceheisborn,whohashisownwillingandcharacteristic.Neithertheparentsnorteachershaveprioritiestodetermineandrestricttheirchildren’sbehaviors.

TheDeclarationofIndependencesays:“Allthepeoplearebornequally;theyareendowedwithholyrightsincludinglife,freedomandpursuitofhappiness."(HuangShaoxiang，P12,1979)Inordertoletthechildrenrecognizethattheyarethemastersofthemselves,Americanparentswillgivetheirchildrenenoughfreedomandwillnotmakedecisionsfortheminmostcases.Americanparentswillingtorespectandunderstandtheirchildren’sfeelings,thus,theyalwaysthinkcarefullyabouttheirwordsandchoosetheappropriatetimetoeducatetheirchildren.Thefamousbasketballstar,MichaelJordanoncesaid,“Iadmitthatourchildrenwillinheritsomegoodtraditions,butIdon'tthinkweshouldmakerulestoteachthemwhattheycando,becauseIthinkeveniftheydo,theywillnotbehappy.()HiswordsmayrepresentthethoughtsandattitudeofmostAmericanpeopleinfamilyeducation.

Inordertocultivatethechildren’sabilitytoenjoyindependentlife,Americanparentstakethemeasuresasfollows.Firstly,theytrytogivethemenoughopportunitiesandconditionswhichallowthemtobefullytrainedinvarioussettingssincetheywereborn.Thecommonwaytheparentsusedistoletthechildrendosomeself-serviceworkaccordingtochildren’sabilityindifferentages,becausethismethodwilldeveloptheirchildren’sloveofworkingandtalents.Forexample,“Therearethreechildren,whichareprimaryschoolstudents,inanAmericanfamily.Allofthemhavetheirownrolesandabilities.The12-year-oldgirlcuredallkindsofdelicioussnakesaccordingtodifferentformulas;the10-year-oldboyhelpedhisfathertomow,waterflowersandcleancourt;the8-year-oldlittlegirlcanweavecupmatinvariouscolors.”(JenniferTin,P107,2005)Thisistheresultofpracticesfromtheirchildhood.ItisnotanisolatedphenomenoninAmerica.Thiskindofexamples,suchasprimaryandmiddleschoolstudentsdoingpart-timejob,aretoonumeroustocite.AccordingtotheAmericaNewspaperStandsSellingFederation’sconvey,therearethousandsofnewsboysinAmerica.Thephenomenonofelderstudentsworkinginsocietycanbeseenhereandthere,andtheyaresupportedbytheirparents.AnAmericansaid:“Parentsencouragetheirchildrentoworkandearnmoneyintheirfreetime.Ontheonehand,thiswillsavesomeexpenses,andmoreimportantly,ontheotherhand,itwilldevelopchildren’sself-awarenessatanearlyage.”(JenniferTin,P127,2005)Childrenwillunderstandthemeaningoftreasureandknowthattreasurecanonlybegainedthroughworking,andthen,theywillknowwhyweshouldcultivatesavingandothergoodhabits.

Secondly,Americanparentswouldliketoseetheirchildrenexperienceallkindsofdifficultiesratherthantoliveinanover-comfortableenvironment.Theypaygreatattentiontotrainingtheirchildren’smentalabilitysothatthechildrencanfaceallkindsofsetbacksandcansurvivehardcircumstances.So,wecanseethefollowingexample,inacoldwintermorning,theAmericanchildrengetuptodelivernewspaperswhileourchildrenarestillsleepinginthewarmblanket.ManyChineseparentsprobablythinkthatitisunacceptable,oreventhinkthatis“cruel”tochildren.Thirdly,Americanparentshavestringentrequirementsandregulationsonchildren’spocketmoney,althoughtheireconomicconditionsarebetterthanthemajorityofChinesefamilies.Theprinciple,howmuchmoneytheyshouldgivetheirchildrenaspocketmoneydependsonchildren’sagesandactualdemandsandtheincomeofthefamily.WhatAmericanparentsdoistocultivatechildren’sawarenessoffrugality.Moreover,theydonotawardtheirchildrenbygivingthempocketmoney,andtheylettheirchildrenunderstandthatthepurposeofstudyistohelpthemtobecomeavaluablepersoninthefuture.Accordingtoasurvey,itisfoundthat“About54percentyoungstudentshavenopocketmoneyinAmerica,andtherearefewerchancestogetmoneyfromtheirparentsastheiragesincrease.Itisalsofoundthat68percentAmericanstudentsearnpocketmoneythroughdoingpart-timejobintheirsparetime.”(TinJennifer,P51,2005)RockefellerwasoneoftherichestmenintheUnitedStatesandthefirstmanearnedonebilliondollarsintheworld,buthischildrenhavelittlepocketmoneyaccordingtotheregulationswhichprintedonthetitlepageinhisfamilybook.“Thepocketmoneyofthe7-8yearsoldchildrenis30centsperweek;thatofthe11-12yearsoldchildrenisonedollarperweek;thatoftheover12yearsoldisthreedollarsperweek.Themostimportantthingisthatthechildrenwereaskedtorecordeveryexpenditure.Iftheaccountisclearandtheirexpenditureisusedforlegitimatepurpose,theywillreceiveadditional5centsinthenextweek.Rockefellersaid:‘Toomuchwealthwillbringdisastertotheirgeneration.’”(JamesDobson,P175,2004)Hiswordscontainsaprofoundphilosophy,itisworthofthinkingcarefully.2.TheCultivationofChildren’sIndependenceinChina

ComparedwithAmericanparents,Chineseparentsholdaverydifferentattitudetowardchildren’sindependence.InChina,mostparentsrequiretheirchildrentobeobedienttothem.Ononehand,mostofChinesepeopleholdtheideathatthereshouldalwaysbealawinacertaincommunity.ThatisthereasonwhyalmosteveryChinesefamilyhasitslawbothasanillustrationandanevidenceoftheeducationofchildren.Thelawmightbeeitherformallywrittendownonpapersorannouncedorally.Thelawwillbeusedtogiveinstructionstothechildrenwhohavedonesomethingwrong.Apparently,thisisveryhelpfulforchildren,butinfact,itisunfavorabletocultivatechildren’sabilityoflivingindependence.Becausetherearesomanyrestrictsintheirlivesthattheyhavenochancestolearnfromthedailylife.Ontheotherhand,becauseoftheinfluenceoftraditionalculture,oneshouldrespecthisparentsabsolutelyinmostcases.So,manyparentsdonotconcerntheirkids’feeling,becausetheythinkthatwhattheydofortheirchildrenisjusttheirchildren’sneeds.Itiswellknownthatinthelateroflastcentury,forthesakeofsustainableandharmoniousdevelopment,ourcountryhascarriedouttheonechildpolicyasfamilyplanning,forthisreasonthere’sanincreasingnumberoffamilieswithonechild,andChinesechildren,sincelongago,havebeenconsideredastheappleintheirparents’eyes.

Basedontheabovereasons,parentstendtoover-indulgetheirchildreninasurprisingwaythatseemsabsurdtowesterns.

ItisnotsurprisingtoseethatChineseparentsalwaystrytodoalmosteverythingfortheirchildren,suchashelpingthemtowashing,cookingmeals,bathing,etc.Inshort,manyChineseparents,especiallytheparentswithonechild,arrangeanddecideeverythingfortheirchildrenorevenbecomethesubstitutionoftheirchildrenalmostinallaspectsoflife.Therefore,thechildrenhavenochancestoexperienceandcontactwiththesociety.Theseriousconsequenceisthatmanychildrencannotdothesethingswhattheyshoulddointheirage.Forinstance,thethree-year-oldchildrencannotwearbythemselves,thesix-year-oldchildrencannottietheirownshoes.“Inthecity,theprimaryschoolstudentsneedtheirparentstoaccompanywiththemtogotoschoolandgohome,andtheylettheirparentstakebagsforthem;manymiddleschoolstudentscannotwashtheirownclothes;themostseriousthingisthatmanyuniversitystudentsneedtheirparentstoaccompanythemtoenrollatthefirstyear.”(QiXin,P58,2005)Inaword,manyparentsfinisheverythingfortheirchildren.

Besides,theyprotecttheirchildrenexcessivelyinsocialactivities.Manyparentsfearthattheirchildrenwillfacealotofdifficultiesorbecomebadboysinthesociety;theyalwaysreducetheirchildren’schancestocontactwithsocietyordonotletthemgototheoutsidealone.Oncethereisadisputeoranunpleasantthinghappenedbetweentheirchildren,theyusuallydonotliketolearnthetruthbutonlyaccuseothers.Thatmakesthedisputeintoaseriouslyconflictoradisputeamongparents.Theseparentsalwaysareproudofwhattheydidfortheirchildren,becausetheythinkthattheyhavesafeguardedtheinterestsoftheirchildren.But,infact,theydonotrealizedthatwhattheydidfortheirkidshaveanegativeeffectonthechildren’sgrowthbecausethesebehaviorshavedeprivedoftheirchildren’srightandopportunitiestoexperiencethelifewhattheyshouldlearnintheearlyage.Andtheymaybehavenochancestolearnhowtodistinguishbetweenrightandwrong.Atlast,theyarealwayslaissez-fairetotheirchildrenoneconomy.ManyChineseparentsareobedienttotheirchildren’sanyrequirementsoneconomy.Bothrichfamiliesandpoorfamiliesarelikelytofulfilltheirchildren’srequirementswithoutpreconditions,becausetheyhopetheirchildrenhaveasuperiorsensewhencomparedwithothersinmaterialconditions.Theysavemoneyfromeachexpenditureorborrowfromotherstomeettheirkids’demands.Theseriousresultoftheseparents’behaviorsisthatchildrencannotunderstandthedifficultiesoflifeanddonotknowwhytheyshouldsave.Theworstconsequenceisthatmanychildrendonotliketodotheirownwork,butaskotherstodoitforthembythemeansofgivingothersmoney.Wecanseethiskindofphenomenonhereandthereinourdailylife.Thisisthedirectconsequenceofthelaissez-faireoneconomy.B.DifferencesintheCultivationofChildren’sInterests

Theattitudeonchildren’sinterestisalsoverydifferentbetweenAmericanandChinese.

IntheUnitedStates,childrenareencouragedandinducedtodevelopingtheirinterestanddothethingswhattheyareinterestedin.Americanparentswillnotpreventtheirchildrenfromdoingwhattheyliketodo,andwillnottheyenforcetheirchildrentodowhattheydonotlikeeither.Forinstance,Jefferson,afifteen-year-oldchildofacommonfamily,likestoplaybasketball,"Iwantedtomakehimbecomealawyer,buthebecameinterestedinplayingballwhenhewasyoung.Wedon'tlikehimtogiveuphisstudy,butafteralongtalkwithhim,Ifeltthathehadhisownideaoflife,perhapsheshouldbecomeindependent,andsoIgaveupmymind.”()Hisfathersaid.Maybeatthebeginningtheparentshaverequirementsfortheirchildren,butatlasttheirownchoicesarethemostimportant,intheUnitedStates.

ButinChina,manyparentsneverconsiderorrespecttheirchildren’sinterests.Becauseofhistoricalandtraditionalreason,almosteveryonethinksthatscholarsshouldberespectedwithoutanydoubtsandhavehighstatusinthesociety.Sotheypaygreatattentionontheirchildren’sstudiesbecausetheybelievethatknowledgecanchangeonesfate.Infact,scholarsarerespectedbypeopleinmosttime.Hence,theparentshopethattheirchildrencanobtainthesamehonorlikethescholarsinthefuture.

Withoutthinkingcarefullyandresearching,wecanconcludefrompracticesindailylifethatsomeChineseparents,ifnotmany,havebeenstranglingtheirchildren’sinterestsinawaythatiselusivetoAmerican.

Tobeconcrete,underthecurrentChinesefamilyeducation,mostchildrenarearrangedwithassortedextracurricularclasseswheretheyaretaughttolearnplayingpiano,drawing,singing,etc.,partlybecauseparentswishtheirchildrentodevelopinall-roundwayandhaveahead-startinstudiesthanotherchildren.

Thefact,however,isthatchildrenmayshowtheleastinterestintheseclassesthatseemdullandboringintheirminds.

Inthisway,childrenaredeprivedofthefreedomtodipintothingswhattheyareinterestedinandchildrenarebereftofebullienceandcreativityinstudying.WealsocanfindthatChineseparentsdonotcareaboutchildren’sinterestsfromasurvey.AccordingtothesurveymadebyWomen'sFederationofTangshanMunicipal,inHebeiprovince,wefindthat“About10percentsparentsabsolutelyagreethateverythingisnotimportantiftheirchildrenstudywell.Andmostparentsagreethisviewthoroughly.Thereisonly27percentsofparentsdonotthinkso.Asfortheotheropinions,thatthechildrenhaveahealthybodyandagoodspiritismoreimportantthanstudywell,only5percentsofparentsagreewithitcompletely,buttherearemorethan32percentsofparentssaidtheydon’tagreewithitcompletely.”(QiXin,P96,2005)AllofthesereflectthatmostChineseparentsaremoreconcernaboutchildren’sstudythantheirinterests.Inotherwords,mostChineseparentsdonotcareabouttheirchildren’sinterest.C.

DifferencesintheCultivationofChildren’sCreativity

Asforcultivatingchildren’screativity,therearealsogreatdifferencesbetweenChinaandAmerica.Americanparentsencouragetheirchildrentoinnovateandsurpasstheirpredecessorsinallfields.Theythinkthatchildren,likeadults,havetheindependentabilityofstudy,andtheyholdatolerantattitudetotheirchildren’screativity.Theyencouragechildrentoexploreandprovideverydifferentviewsonsomeproblemsandletchildrensolvetheseproblemsthroughtheirownefforts.Evenifchildrencannotgetapositiveeffect,theparentswouldnottointerferetheirchildren’swork;instead,theywouldlettheirchildrentoawareoftheproblemsgraduallyintheprocessofdevelopingandthencorrecttheirfaultsbythemselves.Chineseparentsarealwaysjustsatisfiedwiththeirchildrentoimitateothers.Theyalwaysholdanegativeattitudeonchildren’sexplorationactivities,andtheseactivitiesarealwaysstoppedbytheirparents.Forexample,thechildrenwhodemolishedanalarmclockintheUnitedStatesfamilieswillnotbeblamedbytheirparents.Sometimes,theywillworkwiththeirchildrentorepairtheclockwhenthechildrencannotdoit.Theywillevenencouragechildrentodemolishtheclockagainandreinstallit.(TinJennifer,P97,2005)But,ifthesamethingshappenedinChinesefamiliestherewouldnobodydarestotelltheirparentswhattheydideventhoughtheyhaveinstalleditback.Thechildren’screativityisusuallyruinedbytheirparents’strictsupervisionintheearlyage.D.DifferencesintheCultivationofChildren’sPsychologicalHealth

Psychologicalstudieshaveshownthatthepsychologicalhealthisveryimportantforthechildren’sgrowthandtheshapingofhealthypersonality.Americanparentspaymuchattentiontocultivatechildren’spsychologicalhealth.Andtheyarewillingtoexchangetheirthoughtswithchildren.HappyEducationisconsideredasanimportantandnecessarycomponentofeducation.Childrenarerespectedbytheirparents,so,theyliketotelltheirfeelingsandthoughtstotheirparents.WhatAmericanparentsdidisveryfavorableforparentsandchildrentolearneachother.

However,manyChineseparents’behaviorsaretheoppositeofAmericanparents.Indailylife,theyonlycareaboutchildren’sphysicalneedsanddonotliketocultivatechild’spsychologicalhealthandtemperchild’swillbecausetheythinkphysicalhealthismoreimportantthanpsychologicalhealth.Theseriousresultisthatmanychildrencannotfacethedifficultiesinthedailylife.Theymaybefrustrated,decadent,self-destructive,evenrunawayfromhomewhentheymeetsomesetbacks.Suchincidentsarefrequentlyreportedbymediainrecentyears,andwecanfindsomeevidencesthatitiscausedbylowqualityfamilyeducationandlowlevelofpsychologicalhealth.Inanotherword,thisistheresultofparentsneglecttocultivatechildren’spsychologicalhealth.E.DifferencesintheCultivationofChildren’sFame

Inadditiontotheaboveall,therearedifferencesonchildren’sfamebetweenChinaandAmerica.MostofAmericanparentsarenottooconcernedaboutwhethertheirchildrenwillbecomeafamousmaninthefutureornotandtheythinkthatchildrenshouldhavetheirownchoices.Sotheydon’tpaymuchattentiontoarrangethechildren’sfuture,butcreatethebestconditionsfortheirchildrentogrowfreely.Theyonlyhopethattheirkidscanbecomepersonswhocanfacevariousdifficultiesandenvironments,andcanliveindependently.

InChina,manyparentshopethattheirchildrenbecomearichmanoranofficerwhentheygrowup,becausethesepeopleareregardedasthesymbolofsuccessandcanwinrespectofothers.Hence,intheprocessoftheirchildren’sgrowth,theyalwaysrequiretheirchildrentodomanythingswhichbeyondtheirchildren’sactualability.Andthemostimportantthingwhatparentsshoulddoistocareaboutchildren’sstudy,excepttocareabouttheirchildren’slife.Inordertomaketheirchildrentoenterafamousuniversity,theywillnotlettheirchildrendoanythingexceptstudy.Studyisapanaceaintheireyes.Fromthiswecanfindthereasonwhytheparentsignoretheirchildren’sabilityofindependence,mentalhealth,moralityandcivicawareness.Parentsdoalmosteverythingfortheirchildren,suchascooking,laundry,etc.Intheirownopinion,whattheydidforchildrenwillincreasetheirchildren’sopportunitiestosucceedinthefuture.Infact,theydonotrealizethatwhattheydowillneitherletchildrenbecometalentednorgethappiness,becausethecompetitionhappensnotonlybetweenknowledgeandwisdombutalsothewillpowerandpsychology.F.DifferencesintheCultivationofChildren’sRelationshipwithParents

TherelationshipbetweenchildrenandparentsisalsoverydifferentinAmericaandChina.InAmericaneducation,parentsarefriendsoftheirchildren,theyareequalathome.Ifthechildrendosomethingwrong,parentsandchildrenwilldiscussdemocratically,atfirsttheparentsgettoknowthechildren'smindsandthencommunicatewiththem.Bythiswaythechildrenwillunderstandthetruthandwon'tmakethesamemistakeagaininthefuture.ItisveryclearintheDeclarationofIndependencethattheAmericanpeoplealsopursuedemocracy.“TheDeclarationofIndependencesaysthatallthepeoplearebornequally;theyareendowedwithholyrightsincludinglife,freedomandpursuitofhappiness.”(MikeYorkey,P11,2005)ThisisalsomanifestinAmericanfamilies.Parentsneverthinkthattheyhaveprioritytoordertheirkids,andtheybelievethatchildrenhavetherightandabilitytodecidesomethingbythemselves.Ontheonehand,childrenshouldexperiencethelifesothattheycanobtainwhattheycangetonlythroughtheirownwork.Ontheotherhand,childrenwillgainhappinessfromworking.Inaword,parentsandtheirchildrenareequalathome.InChina,childrenshouldobedienttotheirparentsatmosttimes.Whytherelationshipbetweenchildrenandtheirparentsislikethat?

Wecanfindtheexplainsfromancienthistory.“AnancientinChinanamedZhouGongoncesaidthatonecandonothingsuccessfulinlackofawarmfamily.”(DongXiaochuan，P24,1999)Hiswordsalsoindicatethatchildrenshouldrespecttheirparentscompletely.

Xizhou,adynastyofslavery,themoralityrequiredpeopleshouldsupporttheirbrothersandparents.Therewasasaying"allthesoilandsubjectsbelongtotheemperor.”(DongXiaochuan，P27,1999).AlthoughXizhouhadbeenruined,thevirtuehasbeenpasseddown.Asaresult,manypeopleinheritthethoughtsanddemandtheirchildrentobeobedienttothemunconditionally.Inparents’minds,theyhavetheprioritytodecidetheirchildren’slifewithoutconsideringtheirchildren’sfeelings.Asaconsequence,therearealwaysagapbetweenparentsandchildrenforlackofequalandeffectivecommunicationway.Inshort,therelationshipbetweenparentsandchildrenisobedience.

Exceptthedifferencesabove,therearestillmanydifferencesinfamilyeducationbetweenAmericaandChina.Wecanfindalotofexamplesindailylife.III.TheDifferentResultsoftheTwoKindsofFamilyEducation.Becausetheconceptsandthemethodsoffamilyeducationaredifferent,theeducationalresultsshowsomeobviousdifferences.ThechildrenandyouthintheUnited