2023高考英語復(fù)習(xí)與訓(xùn)練-訓(xùn)練13讀后續(xù)寫示例與寫作訓(xùn)練08

讀后續(xù)寫示例與寫作訓(xùn)練8

【寫作示例】

【原文呈現(xiàn)】

閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個完整的故事。

Atruckdriverwasenjoyinghismealatalocalrestaurantwhenanoldladycamein.Tohis

surprise,theownerandalltheservershurriedbehindthecountertomeether.

“Mrs.Cosby!”Theyshouted,"Howpleasedtoseeyou!^^

Theoldladysmiledandgreetedthemall.

Bob,theownersaid,“Sitdownandmakeyourselfcomfortable,Mrs.Cosby!Whatwouldyou

liketoeat?”

WhenBobpassedhistable,thetruckdrivercouldnotresisttoaskwhatissospecialaboutthe

oldlady.

'THexplainifyouareinterested,,,Bobsmiled.

“Everyschoolseemstohaveaclassthateveryonethinkswillnevergraduate.Troublemakers,

that'swhatwewere.Noneofourteachersstayedforlong.Onemorning,thedoortotheclassroom

openedandanewteacherwalkedin.Wesuregaveherahardtime.Butsheneverlosthertemper,

nomatterwhatwedid.

“Onedayafteramonth,Mrs.Cosbyopenedherbriefcaseandtookoutabunchofpapers,

somethingtotallydus.Sheaskedeachoneofustocometothefrontoftheclass,onebyone,and

gaveuseachapaper.Oneachpapershehadwrittenwhatthestudentinquestionhadbeengoodat

duringthelastmonth.

“Noonehadeverbelievedinus.Nooneeverlikedus.Wewereconstantlytoldhow

good-for-nothingwewere.Graduallywehadstartedtobelieveitourselves.Theteacherattitude

wehadmetwithbeforedidn'tencourageustoholdbeliefinourselves.

"Suddenly,therecamesomeonewhocouldfindsomethingpositivetosayabouteachand

eoneofus.Onceshehaddeliveredthepapers,shecontinuedwithherteachingandforthefirst

timeweforgottomakeherlifemiserable.Mrs.Cosbydidthisemonththenon.Eachmonthwe

gotapaperthatemphasizedourstrengths,whatwehadbeengoodat.Webegintoactasifthat

wastrue.Westarttolearnmoretobeevenbetter,toprovethemright.Withherpositiveteacher

attitude,shetransformedourclass.

注意：

1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；

2.應(yīng)使用5個以上短文標(biāo)有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞語；

3.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語已為你寫好；

4.續(xù)寫完成后，請用下劃線標(biāo)出你所使用的關(guān)鍵詞。

Paragraph1:

“Andthencamethedayofourgraduation.

Paragraph2:

Bobwenttogetthebillandwhenhereturnedhesawthetruckdrivertalkingoncellphone.

【思維路徑】

［核心內(nèi)容］

文本主要內(nèi)容為：一個卡車司機在飯店吃飯，看到一位老太太受到飯店老板的熱情招

待。出于好奇，他詢問老板Bob其中緣由。原來Mrs.Cosby曾經(jīng)是Bob的老師。她用贊美

和肯定的教學(xué)態(tài)度以及每月一張的優(yōu)點記錄單一點點改變了那些像Bob一樣長期被否定的

差生，使他們重拾信心、認(rèn)真學(xué)習(xí)。

［寫作思路］

(1)明確故事人物關(guān)系(characters)。

卡車司機、飯店老板Bob、服務(wù)員們、Mrs.Cosbyo

(2)理清故事主要事件(events)。

卡車司機吃飯；Mrs.Cosby受到熱情招待；好奇詢問；Mrs.Cosby和學(xué)生們的故事。

(3)根據(jù)已知人物、事件及續(xù)寫段落首句預(yù)測故事發(fā)展(development)。故事總體的發(fā)展

應(yīng)該是在畢業(yè)那天，Mrs.Cosby贈送了學(xué)生畢業(yè)禮物并一如既往地鼓勵他們，卡車司機聽完

Mrs.Cosby的故事后，應(yīng)該受到感動和啟發(fā)，可能會給妻子打電話并學(xué)著像Mrs.Cosby一

樣贊美妻子。續(xù)寫第一段：畢業(yè)典禮上，Mrs.Cosby把每月一張的優(yōu)點記錄單集結(jié)成冊，送

給每一位學(xué)生，同時鼓勵他們相信自己，去實現(xiàn)自己的理想。續(xù)寫第二段：卡車司機聽完故

事給妻子打了電話，聽到妻子給他做面條時，試著去贊美妻子的廚藝，令妻子非常開心等。

(4)結(jié)合下劃線詞羅列寫作要點(points)

結(jié)合下劃線詞和文本內(nèi)容，盡可能展開豐富的想象，羅列出盡可能多的故事發(fā)展情節(jié)。

例如：第一段可以通過問以下問題來獲取寫作要點：“WhatdidMrs.Cosbydothatday?Did

shepresentanygift?Whatwouldshesaytotheclass?Whatchangesdidshemakeonthe

students?”第二段可以通過下列問題來組織內(nèi)容：“Howdidthedriverfeelafterhearingthe

storyofMrs.Cosby?WasheinfluencedbyMrs.Cosby'sstory?Whomdidhetalktoonthephone?

Whatmighthesay?等”

［參考范文］

“Thencamethedayofourgraduation.Mrs.Cosbyhuggedeoneofus,andtolduswithtears

howproudshewasofus.Thenshehandedeachoneofusabook.Alltheencouragingpapers

throughtheyearswerethere,inhardcover.Shewantedustokeepthatbook.Wheneverwefelt

unworthy,openitandreadhowgoodwewere.Shewasconvincedthatwecouldbeanythingwe

wantedtobeaslongaswebelievedinourselves.Sowedid.Sheturnedabunchoftroublemakers

intopeoplewhocouldachievethings.Wewentontofulfillourdreamsandmakeourlifebetter.

MinewastoownarestaurantandhereIam.Nowyouwhythatoldladydeservesalltherespect

wecangiveher."Thetruckdrivernodded.Thenheaskedforhisbill.

Bobwenttogetthebillandwhenheretumedhesawthetruckdrivertalkingoncellphone.

“Honey?Itisme.IthoughtIwoulddrivehometonight.Youmightmakethatspecialnoodlesfor

me?Yes,I'dreallyliketohavesome.Youshouldsellthosenoodles,theyaresogood,betterthan

anyoneelse's!What?WhydoIsayso?WellbecauseIwanttoshowmyattitude.Justwantedto

letyouknowyouarethebestcookIhaveevermet!That'syourstrength!Youwill?Great,seeyou

intheevening!Loveyoutoo!”

［范文解析］

范文圍繞文章的內(nèi)容進(jìn)行了合情合理的拓展。Mrs.Cosby一直以贊美和肯定的態(tài)度挖掘

學(xué)生的優(yōu)點。因此，第一段畢業(yè)典禮時，她送給每位學(xué)生精心裝訂的每月優(yōu)點清單合集。一

個月一個月逐漸積累下來的冊子凝聚了Mrs.Cosby對學(xué)生的信任和肯定。Mrs.Cosby最后

一次激勵學(xué)生相信自己、追求夢想。第二段,卡車司機聽完這樣一個令人動容和深思的故事，

又看到了飯店老板和服務(wù)員們積極樂觀的現(xiàn)狀，深受觸動。在給妻子打例行電話時，不由自

主地改變態(tài)度學(xué)著去稱贊和肯定妻子，令妻子意外和驚喜。這樣的思路非常符合故事發(fā)展的

邏輯。最后一段司機的做法首尾呼應(yīng)，突出贊美的巨大影響力，突出故事的主題。

［提煉歸納］

1.合理拓展情節(jié)

讀后續(xù)寫離不開對文本的把握和合理的推測。在正確理解的基礎(chǔ)上才能對故事的發(fā)展做

出合情合理又合乎邏輯的預(yù)測。為了使故事發(fā)展更具明確性，可以通過設(shè)問等方式將故事的

后續(xù)發(fā)展凸顯出來，以便于續(xù)寫時信息的整理以及恰當(dāng)?shù)恼Z言組織。在本練習(xí)中，我們通過

一系列的問題來拓展并整理自己的寫作思路。第一段的設(shè)問以Mrs.Cosby為主體，正面描

寫Mrs.Cosby對學(xué)生的付出；第二段的設(shè)問以卡車司機為表達(dá)的主體，側(cè)面描寫Mrs.Cosby

的贊美和肯定的態(tài)度對他人帶來的巨大影響。

2.首尾呼應(yīng)，升華主題

這是贊美產(chǎn)生的奇跡。這個奇跡沒有通過直接的描述，而是通過這種態(tài)度的受益者一

飯店老板Bob之口進(jìn)行敘述，卡車司機作為故事的聆聽者，和讀者一起感受Mrs.Cosby帶

給學(xué)生的巨大變化，體會著贊美對人的巨大影響。作為一個完整的故事，在寫作上做到首尾

呼應(yīng)常常必不可少。根據(jù)故事情節(jié)，首尾呼應(yīng)不僅使故事情節(jié)具有嚴(yán)密性，還突出了故事的

中心，升華了主題。

【寫作演練】

1.閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。續(xù)寫

的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。

TheMake-upGuy

Davewasamake-up（化妝）artistwhoregularlyheldmakeupartistryclassesatthelocal

communitycollege.Hewaswellknownasanexcellenttrainerandenjoyedgreatpopularity.

Usually,themajorityofhisstudentsweremiddle-agedhousewives,whowantedtofine-tune

theirmake-upskillssoastomakethemselvesmoreattractive.Butthistime,itwasbeyondhim

thathisclasswasattendedbyamanaswell.

Thenewstudentwasagentlemaninhisbestyearswithaseeminglyboundlessinterestin

make-upartistry.Hewaskeentolearnasmuchashepossiblycouldandaskedquestions

wheneverandwhereverpossible.Hewassoabsorbedinlearningthathewouldn'tstopuntilhe

wassatisfiedwiththeresultofhiswork.

Understandably,themanwasthenumberonesubjectofconversationwhentheotherwomen

werealone.

Speculations（猜測）quicklystartedtospread.Whydidhelearnmake-up?Washetoseekfor

awomantobehislifepartner?Howaboutmyneighbor'syoungestdaughter?Whyonearth

wouldheattendsuchawomanclass?Whocoulditbe?

Doubtslikethiscamecrowdingin.

Thecommunitycollegewasplacedinaremoteruralarea,whichwaswhytheother

participantswerequitedoubtfuloftheman,sintentions.

Throughoutthelessons,ignoringthecuriouswomenaroundhim,themancarefullylistened

andwroteeverythingdownhelearned,leavingthewomenmoreandmorecuriousandpuzzled.

Whenthedayandclasswereslowlycomingtoanend,thegossipingwomensimplycould

nothidetheircuriosityanylonger,fortheyknewitwastimetoremovetheirdoubts,otherwise...

Finally,oneofthemcouldn,tresisthercuriosity,soshepickedupthecourageandasked

himwhyhewassointerestedinmake-upartistry.

Whatfollowedwasadeadsilence.Afterwhatseemedacentury,heslowlyopenedhismouth

andherecamethemostinspiringbeautifulreply.

Paragraph1:

Hesaidhisbelovedwifepartiallylosthereyesightbecauseofdiabetes（糖尿?。゛ndshewas

nolongerabletoapplyhermake-up.

Paragraph2:

Sohedecidedtotakethecoursetosurprisehiswife.

2.閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

續(xù)寫的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。

Iwokeat5:30A.M.afterarestlessnighfssleep.Islowlyunzippedthetentdoortoinspect

thenewday.Justlikeyesterday,thewindhaddropped.ItwasanotherbeautifulArcticday.I

crawledoutofmysleepingbagunwillingly.Iamnormallyamorningpersonbuttheintensecold

outsidemadethatmorningmostunappealing.Anyhow,itwastimetogreetCharlieandstartthe

day.

MydogCharliewasupanditwasbouncingupanddownattheendofhischainlookingwell

rested.Ipouredwhatlookedlikeapoundofdogfoodintohisbowl.

Steppingoutofthetent,Ilookedaroundforbearsortracksandsawnone.Itwouldneverbe

agoodthingtomeetapolarbear.AnInuit（因紐特人）oncetoldmethatIshouldwatchoutfor

polarbears.HesaidthatifImetapolarbear,Ishouldkeepthefollowingrulesinmind.First,

keepeyecontact,movesidewaysorslightlyforward,neverbackward,staycalm.Donotshow

fearandstandbesidealargeobjecttomakemyselfappearaslargeaspossible.Weaponslikeflare

gun（信號槍）arenecessary,butdonotshootunlessforcedto.Don'twoundabear,oryou'llmake

itevenmoredangerous,andneverrun.

Itwasonlysixo'clock,soIdecidedtohavealeisurelybreakfastofabowlofmilkpowder,

coconutflakes,andbuttermixedwithwarmwater.Isatonmysled（雪橇）toenjoymyfirst

breakfastoftheexpeditiononlytofindthatafterthethirdspoonfulitwasfrozen.Somuchfor

leisurelybreakfasts!Iaddedmorewarmwaterandatetherestasfastaspossible.

SuddenlyIheardadeep,longgrowlcomingfromCharlie'sthroat.InaflashIlookedathim

andtheninthedirectioninwhichhewasstaring.Itwasafemalepolarbearfollowedbytwo

cubs（幼崽）slowly,purposefully,towardme.Theyweretwohundredyardsaway.

Paragraph1:

Withmyheartquickening,Igrabbedmyloadedflaregunandcarefullywalkedsidewaysa

fewstepstoCharlie.

Paragraph2:

Thewholeeventlastedfifteenminutesbutseemedyearslong.

3.閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。續(xù)寫的

詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。

Azookeeperhadbeenworkingatazoofor15yearsandneverexperiencedanyproblems.

Healwaysworkedtheeveningshifts（夜班）becausehewastrustedtoproperlylockupthezoo.

OnawarmsummernightinlateJune,thezookeeperturnedoffthelightsandwishedallofhis

animalsagoodnight.Heleftthezooandwalkedtohiscarintheparkinglot.Ashereachedinhis

pocket,herealizedthathiskeyshadbeenleftintheoffice.Hequicklywalkedbacktothezoo.

Whenheanivedatthedoor,tohissurprise,itwasunlocked.Infearoftriggering（觸發(fā)）the

alarmthathehadjustset,hedidnotturnonthelights.Heturnedontheflashlightonhisphone

andbegantomakehiswaytotheoffice.Whenhewalkedbythepanther's（豹）cages,hesawthe

youngcubsplayingtogether.Helikedthezoobetteratthishourbecauseatnightwaswhenthe

animalscometolife.

Atlast,hemadeitbacktotheoffice.Unfortunatelythistimetheofficedoorwaslockedand

heknewthatifheweretobreakthewindow,hewouldsetoffthealarm.Knowingtherewasno

wayinside,hedecideditwouldbebesttospendthenightinsidethezoo.Thezookeeperwalked

towardsthebirdcagesbecauseheknewhecouldsleepcomfortablyonthebenchesnearthecages.

Afewhourslater,thezookeeperheardadoorslam（不平的——聲）thatwokehimup.

“Quiet!”avoicewhispered.

“What?There'snoonehere,anothervoicesaid."Theoldmanlefthoursago”

''Alright,letsjustgrabtheanimalsandgetoutofhere.n

Thezookeeperdidn'tknowwhattodo.Hebegantoweighhisoptions:hecouldtriggerthe

alarmbutthatwouldraisequestionsastowhyhewasinside,orhecouldfacethethievesbutthat

couldpotentiallyputhimindanger.Thenheturnedthecornerbutmadesurenottobeseensothat

hecouldseewhohadenteredthezoo.

Para.1:

Thezookeeperwasnotfrightenedbythetwomenwhowantedtostealtheanimals.

Para.2:

Thenthezookeeperfoundthetwostrings.

4.閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。續(xù)寫

的詞數(shù)為150左右。

Arthurwasmessy.Hedidn'ttrytomakemesses,buthedidn'ttrytocleanupmuch,either.

Therewerealwayssmallpiecesoffoodonthetablewhenhewasdoneeating.Hissocksnever

madeitintothehamper（洗衣籃）.AndheonlypickeduphistoyswhenMomthreatenedtothrow

themaway.Mostdays,MomfollowedArthuraroundthehouseandcleanedupafterhim.She

brushedthecrumbs（碎屑）intoherhandandthrewthemawayaftermeals.Shepickeduphis

socksandmadesuretheygotwashed,driedandfoldedneatlybeforegoingbackinthedrawer.

Sheoftenpickeduphistoyswhenheleftthemtodosomethingelse.

Oneday,MomaskedArthurtopickuphistoytrains."Notrightnow,^^Arthursaid.Hewas

readingacomicbook.Thetrainshadbeenonthelivingroomfloorsincethemorning.

“Youknowwhat,Arthur?I'mnotgoingtoaskyouagain.I'mdonecleaningtoday."And

withthat.Momputherfeetuponthesofaandpickedupabooktoread.

Atdinnertime,Arthurnoticedthattherewasabigpileofcrumbsathisplaceatthetable.

Mom'sspotwasniceandclean.Arthurdidn'tlikethecrumbsverymuch.Afterdinner,Arthur's

feetfeltcold.Hewenttohisroomandopenedhisdrawer,butthedrawerwasempty."Mom,

wherearemysocks?”Arthurcalled.

“Thereweren'tanysocksinyourhamper,soIdidn'twashthem,“Momsaid.Arthurfelt

unhappy.Nowhisfeetwouldbecold,unlesshewantedtoweardirtysocksfromthefloor.He

decidedtostaybarefoot.

Whenitwastimeforbed,ArthursaidgoodnighttoMomandturnedtogoupstairs.Arthur

steppedrightonhistoytraininhisbarefbet."Ouch!”criedArthur."Thatreallyhurt!”

Paragraph1:

However,Momwasstillreadingandsaidnothing.

Paragraph2:

“Mom?”saidArthur."TomorrowcanyoushowmehowtodothewashingsoIcanwashmy

socks?”

5.閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個完整的故事。

In1989,freshoutofhighschool,Ihadthedifficulttaskofchoosingacareerpathbefore

collegestartedinthreemonths.InthosedaysinPakistan,therewerelimitedchoices:becominga

doctororanengineer,orenteringthefinancialworldaftergettingabusinessdegree.Iwasn't

interestedinengineering,sothatIwasleftwithmedicineorbusiness.Icouldn'tdecide.

MyunclesuggestedthatIdoaworkplacement(實習(xí))toexperienceitforamonthinan

internationalcompanyfollowedbyamonthinahospital.Afterthat,Icouldmakeadecision.It

seemedlikeagoodidea.

Iwasacceptedforamonth'splacementataforeignbankinKarachi.Igotafeelforhowthe

worldoffinancefunctioned,madenewfriends,andgenerallyenjoyedthemostlyeasy-goingwork

surroundings.

Themonthpassedrapidly,andsoonIbeganworkingataleadinghospitalinKarachi.The

experiencecouldn'thavebeenmoredifferent.Thehospitalhadastressfulenvironment.Thedays

startedearly(at7am,comparedto9amatthebank),andwerefilledwithendlessduties.Andthe

nightcalls!Thiswascrazy,workingallday,throughthenight,andagainthenextday.

Ibeganthinkingaboutmytwoexperiences.Thebankhadofferedamorerelaxing

atmosphere,betterworkinghoursandlessstress.Thehospitalwasfullofexcitement,butthe

studyingandtrainingwasdifficult.Itseemedthatthebusinesschoicewasgoingtowinout.

Neartheendofmymonthatthehospital,Iwasdrivinghomeafteranespeciallybusynight

call.Infrontofmewasapublicbus,withcollegestudentssittingonthetop.Asthedriverweaved

through（穿梭）traffic,Icouldseetheboysshakingfromsidetoside.

注意：

1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；

2.應(yīng)使用5個以上短文中標(biāo)有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞語；

3.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段開頭語已為你寫好；

4.續(xù)寫完成后，請用下劃線標(biāo)出你所使用的關(guān)鍵詞語；

Paragraph1:

Suddenly,aboyfellojfthebackofthebus.

Paragraph2:

Thenextday,when1wenttothehospitaltoseetheboy,allhisfamilygotup,withgrateful

smilesontheirfaces.

答案與解析

1.【參考范文】

Hesaidhisbelovedwifepartiallylosthereyesightbecauseofdiabetesandshewasnolonger

abletoapplyhermake-up.Fearingbeinglaughedat,shelockedherselfinherroom,abandoning

herselftogreatgrief.Shewasabsolutelybeautifulevenwithoutmake-up.Butwhatupsetherwas

thatshesimplyfeltnotcomfortableleavingthehomewithoutmake-up.Sensingherlonelinessin

acolorless-world,Iwasalsoatalossastowhattodo.Onceinformedofthisclass,Idetermined

tolearnmake-upwithouthesitation,hopingtomakeadifference.

Sohedecidedtotakethecoursetosurpriseher.Withoutapause,hesharedhisstory.He

masteredawiderangeofpracticalskills,allowinghimtohelphertakeonanewlook.Surely,

beingenvelopedbyanatmosphereoflove,hisbelovedwifeatpresentwasdeeplyaffected."Inot

onlywanttolearnhowtoapplyhermake-up,Iwanthertowearthemostbeautifulmake-upso

herinnerbeautyalsoshinesontheoutside.^^heannounced,t4Itishersmilethattouchesmostmy

heart,notthemake-up.”

【解析】

本篇書面表達(dá)是讀后續(xù)寫。要求考生根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成

一篇完整的短文。

通過閱讀所給文章可知，正?；瘖y課的授課對象都是女性，但一天一位男士來上化妝課,

而且聽課十分認(rèn)真，這引起在座其他同學(xué)（主要是家庭主婦們）的好奇和各種猜疑。在課程結(jié)

束時，終于有人問出了他們的疑惑——他為什么來上化妝課？

續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，第一段開頭是：他的愛妻因為糖尿病，視力受損，不能在自己涂化妝品，

所以應(yīng)該寫他妻子的一些情況,不能化妝對他妻子的一些影響，以及他對于愛妻痛苦的回應(yīng)。

第二段開頭是：所以他決定來上這個課，給妻子一個驚喜。本段應(yīng)該寫他利用所學(xué)內(nèi)容如何

幫助了妻子，以及妻子的一些轉(zhuǎn)變。最后不忘初心，總結(jié)一下自己上化妝課的原因和目的。

最后還要注意所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。

【范文點評】

本文描寫詳略得當(dāng)，使用了高級詞匯和高級句子。如:abandononeselfto,ataloss,without

hesitation等高級詞匯；主語從句和表語從句whatupsetherwasthatshesimplyfeltnot

comfortableleavingthehomewithoutmake-up.非謂語動詞Fearingbeinglaughedat,和allowing

himtohelphertakeonanewlook強調(diào)句Itishersmilethattouchesmostmyheart,notthe

make-up.

2.【參考范文】

Withmyheartquickening,Igrabbedmyloadedflaregunandcarefullywalkedsidewaysa

fewstepstoCharlie.Withouttakingmyeyesoffthebear,Iledhimtothesledandfastenedhis

chaintoarope.Thebearwasgettingcloser.RememberingalltheInuithadtoldme,Ifireda

warningshottothebear'sleft.Butonshecame.Then,Ifiredaflarerightinfrontofher.She

stoppedandlookedatme.ThenshefixedhereyesonCharlie,whowasbarkingwildly.She

lookedbackathercubsandwaitedforthemtocatchup,thenfinallymovedawaytowardmy

right.

Thewholeeventlastedfifteenminutesbutseemedyearslong.MyhandswereshakingasI

stoodstill,watchingthethreeslowlymovenorth.Butdespitethefear,Icouldfeeldeepdown

insidearealsatisfaction.InowknewthatIcouldstanduptoabearinthewildandstaycalm

enoughtofunctionandstillrememberthewordsfromtheInuit.WithCharlie'shelpIhadpassed

myfirsttest.

【解析】

本篇書面表達(dá)是讀后續(xù)寫。通過閱讀所給文章可知，作者早上從北極的帳篷中醒來，給

他的狗Charlie喂了食，走出帳篷沒看到任何熊的蹤跡，想起因紐特人說的遇到熊的做法，

因為時間還早所以決定悠閑地吃一頓早飯，突然看到一只母熊帶著兩只幼崽向自己走來。

續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，第一段開頭是：心跳加快，我抓住信號槍，小心地向一邊的Charlie

走了幾步……所以應(yīng)該寫作者看到熊后的反應(yīng)，即走向Charlie把它拴在繩子上，抓住信號

槍向熊開槍警告，熊聽到槍聲后的反應(yīng)及Charlie看大熊后的反應(yīng)內(nèi)容等。第二段開頭是：

整個事件持續(xù)了十五分鐘，但似乎是持續(xù)了幾年……本段應(yīng)該熊離開后作者的反應(yīng)，比如是

否會感到害怕，以及從這次與熊的相遇中的收獲等內(nèi)容。

續(xù)寫時要求使用5個以上短文中標(biāo)有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞語增加了寫作難度,我們要熟悉所

給劃線詞語，恰當(dāng)?shù)臅r候加以運用。最后還要注意所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；續(xù)寫完

成后，請用下劃線標(biāo)出你所使用的關(guān)鍵詞語。按要求完成寫作任務(wù)。

【范文點評】

本文描寫詳略得當(dāng)，使用了高級詞匯和高級句子。如：takeoff,infrontof,moveaway

等高級詞￥匚；thatIcouldstanduptoabearinthewildandstaycalmenoughtofunctionandstill

rememberthewordsfromtheInuit引導(dǎo)的賓語從句，asIstoodstill引導(dǎo)的伴隨狀語從句，With

myheartquickening...with復(fù)合結(jié)構(gòu)等高級句式。

3.【參考范文】

Thezookeeperwasnotfrightenedbythetwomenwhowantedtostealtheanimals.He

squattedonthegroundatthecornerandstaredatthetwomentoseewhoonearthhadenteredthe

zoo.Whathesawwastwothinandshortmenwithasackunderthearm.Heknewtheyjust

wantedtosteallittleanimals.Sohemadeuphismindtofrightenthembyimitatingthevoiceof

tigers.Thereafterthevoiceoftigersroaredloudlyoneafteranother.Thetwomenwasso

frightenedthattheybegantorunaway.Butitwassodarkthattheycouldn'tseeclearly,theyfell

heavilyonthegroundandcouldn'tmoveanylonge匚

Thenthezookeeperfoundthetwostrings.Hetiedthemtothetreesandwaitedforthe

daytimecomingtotransferthemtothepolice.Ifsnotthecouragebutthewisdomthathelpsthe

zookeepercatchthethieves.

【解析】

這是一篇讀后續(xù)寫。一個動物園飼養(yǎng)員總是被安排值夜班，因為他被信任能夠恰當(dāng)?shù)劓i

好動物園的門。一天晚上，他發(fā)現(xiàn)鑰匙忘記放在辦公室里了，返回地時候發(fā)現(xiàn)動物園的門沒

有關(guān)，可到了辦公室門口發(fā)現(xiàn)辦公室的門已經(jīng)關(guān)了，他知道如果他破窗而入會引發(fā)報警器，

于是決定在動物園呆一晚上。幾個小時后飼養(yǎng)員聽見砰的一聲門響動的聲音驚醒了他。有人

想抓動物出去。這個飼養(yǎng)員不知道該怎么辦，他開始權(quán)衡他的選擇：他可以觸發(fā)報警器但那

樣會出現(xiàn)為什么他會在里面，或者他會面對小偷，那會對他產(chǎn)生潛在的危險，于是他轉(zhuǎn)過墻

角但確保自己不被看見這樣以便可以看清是誰進(jìn)入了動物園。

審題得知根據(jù)所讀內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。注意，

續(xù)寫詞數(shù)要求為150詞左右。這里可以根據(jù)末尾一段的描述來進(jìn)行續(xù)寫——智抓小偷的故事。

第一段:描述飼養(yǎng)員在動物園角落里看見的是誰進(jìn)來偷盜動物，以便為接下來的講述做鋪墊。

第二段在模仿動物叫聲的基礎(chǔ)上，出現(xiàn)在他們面前，讓他們驚恐無比，使得他們嚇癱在地，

束手就擒。續(xù)寫部分最后強調(diào)要智斗，不要直取，這樣就會避免自身的危險和潛在的威脅。

【范文點評】

本續(xù)寫詳略得當(dāng)，重點突出。智斗竊賊描寫生動活潑。全文使用了高級詞匯和句型：比

如被動語態(tài)befrightenedby被驚嚇；not...but...不是而是；介詞賓語短語結(jié)構(gòu)with

imitatingthevoiceof模仿...的聲音；高級詞匯staredat盯著；onearth究竟；roaredloudlyone

afteranother虎嘯聲此起彼伏;tiethemtothetrees捆在樹上;transferthemto移交給...；fight

against和...斗爭。強調(diào)句型Ifsnotthecouragebutthewisdomthatcanhelpsthezookeeper

catchthethieves,who弓I導(dǎo)的定語從句Thezookeeperwasnotfrightenedbythetwomenwho

wantedtostealtheanimals.彰顯作者的高水平的寫作能力。

4.【參考范文】

Paragraph1

However,Momwasstillreadingandsaidnothing.Arthurwasn'tsureifshehadheardhim

ornotsohecalledforhelpagain,butstillMomdidn'tcome.ThenArthurrealizedmaybeitwas

hethatcouldsolvehisproblematthatverymoment.Hequietlypickedupthetoytrainandput

itinthebox.Itonlytookaminuteforhimtoputthetoyaway,andnowhewouldn'thaveto

worryabouthurtinghisfeetagain.

Paragraph2

"Mom?"saidArthur."TomorrowcanyoushowmehowtodothelaundrysoIcanwash

mysocks?”“Ofcourse,saidMom."It'snicetoseeyoubegintolearntotakecareofyourself.

IamalwaysheretodowhateverIcantohelpyoubecomeamoreindependentboy.^^Arthurfelt

better.Hedidn'twanttowaituntilthenextlaundrydaytohavec