專題08高考英語讀后續(xù)寫

讀后續(xù)寫2020年07月浙江英語試卷讀后續(xù)寫（改編）ContinuationWritingOnefall,mywifeElliandIhadasinglegoal:tophotographpolarbears.Wewerestayingataresearchcampoutside“thepolarbearcapitaloftheworld”—thetownofChurchillinManitoba,Canada.TakingpicturesofPolarbearsisamazingbutalsodangerous.Polarbears—likeallwildanimals—shouldbephotographedfromasafedistance.WhenI’mfacetofacewithapolarbear,Ilikeittobethroughacamerawithatelephotolens.Butsometimes,thatiseasiersaidthandone.Thiswasoneofthosetimes.AsElliandIcookeddinner,ayoungmalepolarbearwhowasplayinginanearbylakesniffed,andsmelledourgarlicbread.Thehungrybearfollowedhisnosetoourcamp,whichwassurroundedbyahighwirefence.Hepulledandbitthewire.Hestoodonhisbacklegsandpushedatthewoodenfenceposts.Terrified,ElliandItriedallthebeardefenseactionsweknew.Weyelledatthebear,hitpotshard,andfiredblankshotgunshellsintotheair.Sometimesloudnoiseslikethesewillscarebearsoff.Notthispolarbearthough—hejustkepttryingtoteardownthefencewithhismassivepaws.Iradioedthecampmanagerforhelp.Hetoldmeahelicopterwasonitsway,butitwouldbe30minutesbeforeitarrived.Makingthebestofthiscloseencounter,Itooksomepicturesofthebear.ElliandIfearedthefencewouldn’tlastthrough30moreminutesofthebear’spunishment.ThecampmanagersuggestedIusepepperspray.Thesprayburnsthebears’eyes,butdoesn’thurtthem.SoIapproachedouruninvitedguestslowlyand,throughthefence,sprayedhimintheface.Withanangryroar,thebearrantothelaketowashhiseyes.Paragraph1:

Afewminuteslater,thebearheadedbacktoourcamp.__________________________Paragraph2:

Atthatverymoment,thehelicopterarrived.______________________________一、準(zhǔn)確理解材料，理清人物事件1.淺層信息理解體裁：記敘文；人稱：第一人稱；主體時態(tài)：一般過去時；5Ws：who（mywifeElliandI，ayoungmalepolarbear，thecampmanager，ahelicopter）、when（Onefall）、where（researchcampoutsidethetownofChurchillinManitoba,Canada）、what（attackedtheircamps）、why（sniffed,andsmelledourgarlicbread）。2.深層信息理解①理清故事的發(fā)展線索（How）段落及時間線索Behaviors（行為）Topic（段意）Para1&2（Onefall）photograph，werestaying，

Takingpicturesof，shouldbephotographedfromasafedistance，easiersaidthandoneElliandIwantedtophotographpolarbears.段落及時間線索Behaviors（行為）Topic（段意）Para3&4（AsElliandIcookeddinner）sniffed,andsmelled，followedhisnoseto，pulledandbit，stoodonhisbacklegsandpushedatAhungrypolarbearwasattractedbythetastyfoodinthecamp.Para5，6&7（30minutesbeforehelparrived）triedallthebeardefenseactions，yelled，hit，fired，

tryingtoteardown，radioed，

wasonitsway，tooksomepicturesof，sprayed，ranElliandItriedtofightoutofdanger.②判斷細(xì)節(jié)描寫類型：心理活動□；動作□√；環(huán)境□；外貌性格□。體現(xiàn)準(zhǔn)確詞：photograph，Takingpicturesof，followed，teardown，tooksomepicturesof，sprayed，ran；過程：sniffed,andsmelled；stood，pushed；yelled，hit，fired；radioed，wasonitsway；修辭：approachedouruninvitedguestslowly；夸張：triedallthebeardefenseactions。

3.整合本篇的情節(jié)和情感線索：

一對夫妻在加拿大拍攝北極熊（amazed，calm）→一只北極熊被食物味道吸引，意欲闖入（hungry，uneasy，anxious，terrified）→作者和妻子使出渾身解數(shù)，想嚇退這頭熊（worried，irritated）→向營地求助，被告知救援要30分鐘后才能趕到（calm）→向北極熊噴胡椒粉，北極熊憤怒跑開（aggressive，unstable）……。二、分析續(xù)寫段首，確定續(xù)寫方向根據(jù)段首句1：幾分鐘后，這只熊回到了我們的營地及時間線索詞Afewminuteslater，可通過以下問題獲取寫作要點：Whichwordsorphrasescatchyoureyes?(thebearheadedback)Whatdidthebeardothen?Howdidthecoupledealwiththebear?Whathappenedtothecouple?根據(jù)段首句2：就在這時，直升機來了及時間線索詞Atthatverymoment，可問以下幾個問題：Whichwordsorphrasescatchyoureyes?(thehelicopterarrived)Whatdidthebearreact?Howdidthecouplereact?Howdidthecoupleescape?Howdidthewriterfeel?HowcouldParagraph2beendedreasonablyandcreatively?

三、借助文本資源，創(chuàng)設(shè)續(xù)寫情節(jié)

根據(jù)故事六要素和自己的想象，借助文本資源，創(chuàng)設(shè)續(xù)寫兩段故事的情節(jié)。Paragraph1：[故事開端]幾分鐘后，北極熊又回到營地。[發(fā)展]北極熊再次進攻→采取措施智斗北極熊(噴霧、扔面包等)。[高潮]夫妻二人幾乎陷入絕境。Paragraph2：[結(jié)局]就在那時，直升機到了→北極熊被嚇走→夫妻二人獲救，熊口逃生→[感悟]拍照片目的達成。

四、增加細(xì)節(jié)描寫，完成讀后續(xù)寫

串聯(lián)擬定好的情節(jié)，添加必要的細(xì)節(jié)描寫，完成續(xù)寫初稿。Paragraph1:

Afewminuteslater,thebearheadedbacktoourcamp.Heexposedhissharpteeth,glaringatusasheranforward.Thebearagainstoodonhisbacklegsandroaredrepeatedly.Itseemedthathismouthwasfullofblood,hiseyesredwithangerandthemouthwidelyopen.Fearingthatthebearwouldteardownthefenceatanyminute,wehadnochoicebuttogivehimwhathewanted—thegarlicbread.Mywifethrewthebreadatthecreaturealittlebitatatimeandhowever,Isnatchedmycamera,takingonelastshotofthebear,aphotoIhadalwayslongedtophotograph.Paragraph2:

Atthatverymoment,thehelicopterarrived.MyheartjumpedwithjoyasIknewwewerelikelytobesaved.Theplanelandednearourcampanditsloudnoisesscaredthebear.Helookedannoyedandcameatusagain.Whiletherescuersmanagedtocalmthebeardown,weinstantlysteppedawayandranasfastaswecouldtothehelicopter.Thankgoodness!Wesucceededinclimbingontothehelicopter,breathingdeeplywithrelief.Severalhourslater,wearrivedathomesafeandsound,butwerealizedthatI’vegotthe

bestpictureeverandit’sallworthit.【名師點評】范文句子如Heexposedhissharpteeth,glaringatusasheranforward.他露出尖利的牙齒，一邊跑一邊瞪著我們。（憤怒的動作生動描寫）Hismouthwasfullofblood,hiseyesredwithangerandthemouthwidelyopen.他的嘴里滿是血，眼睛因憤怒而發(fā)紅，嘴巴張得大大的。（動作的夸張描寫）…threwthebreadatthebearalittlebitatatimeand