新高考背景下的作文講評(píng)課名師公開(kāi)

writingForClass16,SeniorThree整理課件Sixstepsforthewritingpractice:

Howtogetonwithourparents

Step1:examinethetopicStyle:______________________________________

tense:______________person:_______________Paragraphs:Paragraph1:Paragraph2:Paragraph3:議論文（ArgumentativeWriting）

presentfirstthecommonproblem:parentscareforeverythinghowparentscareforeverythignofusthewaytosolvetheproblem整理課件Step2:listthemainpoints

thesameproblemcareforeverythingmakethegenerationgapdeeperworryabouteverythingmakeusgrowuphealthilyandlivehappilymoreunderstandingbetween…整理課件Step3:makesomesentences:Wehavethesameproblem.Ourparentscareforeverythingofus.Theyalwaystelluswhatweshoulddo.Theydonotletusdowhatweliketodo.Thegenerationgapisdeeper.Thepurposeistomakeusgrowhealthilyandhappily.Wearepartoftheirlife.Wecarrytheirhopeandexpectation.Weshouldunderstandeachother.Inthisway,wecangetonwellwitheachother.整理課件Step4&5:connectthesentencesandmakesomeappolishment.Step6:Copyitoutcarefullyandclearly.整理課件

Proofreading(findout5errors)

Ourparentsconcernabouteverythingthatwehavedone,whichmakeusannoyed.Theyalwaysworryabouteverythingandeverybody,suchasourstudy,entertainmentandfriends.Asisoftenthecase,theysometimeslookourdiarywithoutourpermit.“It’sgoodforyou.”explaintheyeverytimeweaskthemwhy.Childrenasweare,therearesomebasicpersonalrights,whichshouldbeprotected.Howtogetonwellwithourparents?It’saproblem.However,thereisnoreasonforustobeagainsttoourparentsjustbecauseofit.Onlywhenwetryourbesttocommunicatewiththemcanwemakeeachofusunderstand.It’syoursincerityandpatiencecancalltheirrespectonyou.Whynothaveatry?_______makes_____read___________permission＼∧that整理課件Suggestionsformakingourwritingoutstanding:advancedwordsandphrases;differentabundantsentencepatterns;correctconjunctions.整理課件Somecopiesfromourhomework:Copy1:Itseemsthatourparentscaretoomuchaboutus.

Forexample,theyaretellinguswhatweshoulddoandwhatwemustn’tdoallthetimeandtheyalsoworryaboutallthatwedo.Inordertokeepusgrowinghealthilyandhappily,theyevenwantustostayathomeforawholedayatweekendsifpossible.However,wefeelitdifficulttobreatheundersuchheavypressure.Wewanttohavemorefreedomandmakedecisionsbyourselves.

Allinall,weshouldgivemoreunderstandingtoourparents.Asweknow,alltheparentslovetheirchildren.Soifweshowourlovetothemproperly,theywillunderstandus,too.20(金盛)整理課件Copy2:Whatwemustfacewithisthatourparentsalwaysgeteverythingofusundercontrol,whichmakesusfeelratheruncomfortable.Toourdisappointment,parentsalwaysworryaboutwhatweweareveryday,howwebehaveatschoolandourstudies,ourmeals,eventhefriendswehavemade.What’smore,theyoftensaythattheintensionfortheseistoletusgrowuphealthilyandhappily.Forfearoftheirfeelingsad,wehavetoactastheyrequire,ratherthansayaword.ChildasIam,Ientirelyunderstandmyparents.Ithinkthekeytoitistounderstandthem.Ontheotherhand,weshouldmakeourparentsunderstandus,either.Withthelovebetweenparentsandus,wecanleadacomfortableandsensefullife!24(張武斌)整理課件Copy3:Itisbelievedthatourparentsalwayspayattentiontoeverythingwedo.Theymakeitarulethatwhateverwedo,weshouldtellthem.Forexample,tellthemthereasonandyoucangetthemoneywhichyouaskfor.Tellthemwhereyougoandthenyoucangoout.Theyalwaysworryaboutus.Theytakeitforgrantedthatwhatevertheydoforusisgood.Theyonlywantustolivehappilyandhealthily.However,hadrdlydotheychangetheirmindnomatterhowwecomplain.Theapproachtosolvetheproblemistounderstandourparentsandmakeourselvesunderstood.Onlyinthiswaycanwegetonwellwithourparents.26(徐佳峰)整理課件Copy4:Ourparentscareforeverythingwedo.Theyalwaystelluswhatweshoulddoandstopusdoingwhateverweliketodo,whichmakesourgenerationgapdeeper.However,asourparents,whatevertheydoismakeusgrowuphealthilyandlivehappily.Fromthetimewewereborn,theyworryaboutwhatweeat,howmuchsleepwegetandhowwebehaveatschool.Infact,wehavebeenbecomgpartoftheirlivesandcarryingalltheirhopesandexpectationsfromourbirth.Itistheywhobringourlivesaswellascomfortinlife.Therefore,moreunderstandingbetweenusisamusttoshortenourgapandimproveourrelationship.Onlyinthiswaycanwegetonwellwitheachotherandenjoythecompanionship.(apossibleversion)整理課件Somewonderfulsentencesfromourhomework:1.Notuntilweunderstandourparents’concernandhopeonuscanwefeelthelovedeeplyfromtheirhearts.(駱東浩)2.Whatreallymakesusuncomfortableisthatourparentsworryabouteverythingwehavedone.(徐航遠(yuǎn))3.Thebetterweunderstandourparents,theeasieritwillbetogetalongwiththem.(韓振宇)4.Onlywhenwetryourbesttocommunicatewiththemcanwemakeeachofusunderstood.(衛(wèi)曉文)5.Wehaveeveryreasontobelievetheirpurposeofourgrowinguphealthilyandhappily.(王芳)6.Ourparentsmanageeverythingofus,whichisbeyondwhatwecanstand.(俞慧峰)7.Whattheydon’tknowisthatitwilltakeawayourfreedomandmakeusunhappy.(吳偉健)整理課件Sixprinciplesofmakingsentences(造句成文六大原則)：1.advancedwords(高級(jí)詞匯原則)2.adverbialadvanceed(狀語(yǔ)提前原