商務(wù)與管理溝通（英文 第12版）教案 Locker-BAC12e-IM-Ch04 Planning,Composing,and Revising

4-

Chapter4

Planning,Composing,andRevising

TableofContents

DescriptionoftheChapter

3

EssentialstoCover

3

StrategiesforIncreasingLearning

4

StressthatBusinessStyleIsDifferentthanWhatThey’veDonePreviously

5

Connect

5

ApplicationExercises

6

ActivitiesintheComposingProcess

6

WaystoMakeYourWritingEasiertoRead

7

Chapter1Quiz

7

Chapter1TestBank

7

LearnSmartAchieve?

7

WrittenProcess……………………...8

StyleandWordChoice

8

SmartBook?

8

AnswersandAnalysisforEnd-of-ChapterExercisesandCases

8

4.1ReviewingtheChapter

8

4.2InterviewingWritersaboutTheirComposingProcesses

10

4.3AnalyzingYourOwnWritingProcesses

10

4.4EvaluatingtheEthicalImplicationofConnotations

10

4.5CorrectingErrorsinDenotationandConnotation

12

4.6EliminatingJargonandSimplifyingLanguage

13

4.7ChangingVerbsfromPassivetoActiveVoice

13

4.8UsingStrongVerbs

14

4.9ReducingWordiness

15

4.10ImprovingParallelStructure

16

4.11RevisingParagraphs

17

4.12Revising,Editing,andProofreadinganEmail

19

4.13IdentifyingBuzzwordsandJargon

19

4.14RevisingDocumentsUsing“TrackChanges”

20

4.15UsingtheSEC’sAPlainEnglishHandbook

20

4.16InvestigatingthePlainLanguageActinFederalAgencies

21

4.17EvaluatingaLettertoStakeholders

21

4.18AnalyzingYourOwnWriting

21

ExercisePlanningTable

21

PPTLectureOutline

22

LessonPlanIdeas

23

BuildRevisionintoYourCourse

23

IntroducingGoodBusinessandAdministrativeStyle

23

DiscussingConnotationandDenotation

24

DiscussingActiveandPassiveVoice

25

AnalyzingStyle

25

UnderstandingLearners’ComposingProcesses

25

ComparingandContrastingProcessesforIndividualandCollaborativeWriting

26

IntroducingRevision

26

IntroducingRevisionUsingLearnerPapers

26

DiscussingEditingandProofreading

27

DiscussingWritingwithTechnology

27

QuestionoftheDay

28

AdditionalExercises

28

Exercise1:IdentifyingWordswithMultipleDenotations

28

Exercise2:UsingConnotationtoShapeResponse

29

Exercise3:ChoosingLevelsofFormality

29

Exercise4:PuttingReadersinYourSentences 29

Exercise5:EditingSentencestoImproveStyle

30

DescriptionoftheChapter

Thischapterdiscussesandillustratesgoodstyleforeffectivebusinessandadministrativewriting.Inreviewingthischapterwithlearners,focusonwaystomakesentencesandparagraphseasiertoread,andfocusontheimportanceofchoosingwordsthatcommunicatethemeaningandattitudeawriterwantstoconvey.Thischapteralsosummarizeswhatresearchhasdiscoveredabouteffectivestrategiesforplanning,revising,usingboilerplates,andintegratingtechnologyintothewritingprocess.

Thelearningobjectivesinclude:

LO4-1Activitiesinvolvedinthecomposingprocessandhowtousetheseactivitiestoyouradvantage.

LO4-2Guidelinesforeffectivewordchoice,sentenceconstruction,andparagraphorganization.

LO4-3Techniquestorevise,edit,andproofreadyourcommunications.

EssentialstoCover

LO4-1Activitiesinvolvedinthecomposingprocessandhowtousetheseactivitiestoyouradvantage.

Processesthathelpwriterswritewellinclude:(1)notexpectingthefirstdrafttobeperfect;(2)writingregularly;(3)modifyingtheinitialtaskifit’stoohardortooeasy;(4)havingcleargoals;(5)knowingmanydifferentstrategies;(6)usingrulesasguidelinesratherthanabsolutes;and(7)waitingtoedituntilafterthedraftiscomplete.

Writingprocessescanincludemanyactivities:planning,gathering,brainstorming,organizing,writing,evaluating,gettingfeedback,revising,editing,andproofreading.Revisingmeanschangingthedocumenttosatisfythewriter’spurposesandaudience.Editingmeansmakingsurface-levelchangesthatmakethedocumentgrammaticallycorrect.Proofreadingmeanscheckingtobesurethedocumentisfreefromtypographicalerrors.Theactivitiesdonothavetocomeinanysetorder.Itisnotnecessarytofinishoneactivitytostartanother.Mostwritersuseallactivitiesonlywhentheywriteadocumentwhosegenre,subjectmatter,oraudienceisnewtothem.

Tothinkofideas,trybrainstorming,freewriting(writingwithoutstoppingfor10minutesorso),andclustering(brainstormingwithcircledwordsonapage).

LO4-2Guidelinesforeffectivewordchoice,sentenceconstruction,andparagraphorganization.

“Goodstyle”inbusinessandadministrativewritingislessformal,friendlier,andmorepersonalthanthestyleusuallyusedfortermpapers.

Usethefollowingtechniquestomakeyourwritingeasiertoread:

Asyouchoosewords:

Usewordsthatareaccurate,appropriate,andfamiliar.Denotationisaword’sliteralmeaning;connotationistheemotionalcoloringthatawordconveys.

Usetechnicaljargonsparingly;eliminatebusinessjargon.

Asyouwriteandrevisesentences:

Useactivevoicemostofthetime.Activevoiceisbetterbecauseitisshorter,clearer,andmoreinteresting.

Useverbs—notnouns—tocarrytheweightofsentence.

Eliminatewordiness.Writingiswordyifthesameideacanbeexpressedinfewerwords.

Eliminatewordsthataddnothing.

Combinesentencestoeliminateunnecessarywords.

Putthemeaningofyoursentenceintothesubjectandverbtocutthenumberofwords.

Varysentencelengthandsentencestructure.

Useparallelstructure.Usethesamegrammaticalformforideasthathavethesamelogicalfunction.

Putthereadersinthesentences.

Asyouwriteandreviseparagraphs:

Beginmostparagraphswithtopicsentencessothatreadersknowwhattoexpectintheparagraph.

Usetransitionstolinkideas.

LO4-3Techniquestorevise,edit,andproofreadyourcommunications.

Ifthewritingsituationisnewordifficult,plantorevisethedraftatleastthreetimes.Thefirsttime,lookforcontentandcompleteness.Thesecondtime,checktheorganization,layout,andreasoning.Finally,checkstyleandtone.

Editforsurface-levelchangestomakeyourdocumentgrammaticallycorrect.

Proofreadtocatchtypos.Useavailabletechnologiestohelpyou.

TheLessonPlanIdeassectionoffersseveraldifferentwaystoapproachthismaterial.

StrategiesforIncreasingLearning

Whilethecontentofthischapteriseasytomemorizeandrepeatbacktotheinstructor,theapplicationofthechapter’scontentisdifficult.IttakestimeandpracticetomakeeffectiveuseoftheguidelinesandstrategiesfromChapter4.Expectafairamountoffrustrationandaversiontoworkonwordchoice,sentencevariety,revising,editing,andproofreadingneededforeffectivebusinessandadministrativecommunication.

Thoughmostbusinesscommunicationinstructorsstressprocess,fewlearnersreviseeffectively.Manylearnersresistrevisionbecauseoftimepressuresorthemistakenimpressionthatonlybadwritersneedtorevise.Therefore,learnerrevisionstendtoconsistoflittlemorethanfixingtyposorpunctuationerrors.Tocombatthesetendencies,trythesestrategies:

Modelwordchoiceandsentencevarietywheneveryouworkonwritingwiththeclass.

Bringexamplesofprofessionaldocumentsthatillustratetheconceptsfromthischapter.

Givelearnersplentyofpractice.Shortin-classactivities,particularlygroupactivitieswheretheycancomparenoteswiththeirpeers,workwell.Iflearnerscannotpracticetheconceptsbeforetheywriteforagrade,theywillprobablynotdowell.Ittakestimetodeveloptheseskills.

Bepatient.Yourlearnersmaynot“getit”thefirsttimearound,butifyoucomebacktotheconceptspresentedinChapter4foreachassignment,theywillimprove.

Discussrevisionbeforeeveryassignmentisdue.Considergivinglearnerssomesortofgradeincentivefordoinggoodrevisions.

Modelgoodrevisionbyshowinglearnerseffectiveexamples.Theseexamplesmaycomefromyourownlearners.

Havelearnersreviseshortsectionsoftheirownwriting—suchasaparagraphoronepageofamultipledocument—asanin-classexerciseorforhomework,inadditiontorevisingcompletedassignments.

StressthatBusinessStyleIsDifferentthanWhatThey’veDonePreviously

Eventhebestlearnerssometimeshavedifficultywiththischapterbecausegoodbusinessstylediffersconsiderablyfromthestyleusedintheirotherclasses.Somelearnersmaynotunderstandwhystylemattersaslongastheirwritingisgrammaticallycorrect.

Tryconnectingstyletothebottomline:Whydopeopleneedtowriteonthejob,andhowcanwritingthatisdifficulttounderstandpreventthatfromhappening?Sharingexamplesofpoorstylethatisambiguousorhardtointerpretearlyinthetermcanbegintosensitizelearnerstotheimportanceofgoodstyle.Inreality,though,itoftentakesawhileforlearnerstograspfullywhygoodstyleisimportant.

Fortunately,providinglearners10usabletechniquestomaketheirwritingeasiertoreadcanbereassuringtothem.Afterdemonstratingtheimportanceof“goodstyle”andillustratingthetechniquesinChapter4,relyprimarilyonstyleinthecontextofthelearner’sownwriting.

Eventhoughlearnersmayfindrevisiontime-consumingorevenpainful,teachingthemtodoitwellisoneofthebestpossiblethingsyoucandoforthem.

Connect

Connect?BusinessCommunicationallowsyoutoenhancetheskillsofstudents,andpreparethemforthenetworkedworldusingthelatestproven-effectiveadaptiveresources.Itoffersassignable,auto-gradedactivitiesproventoincreasetestscores,retentionrates,andattendance.

EachchapterisavailableinSmartBook?formatandincludesLearnSmartAchieve?.Inaddition,therearenumerouschapter-specificactivitiesavailableinConnect.Activitiesincludeachapterquiz,aTestBank,andavarietyofApplicationExercises,containingmatching,multiple-choice,andrankingquestions;caseanalysisexercises;andvideocases.Belowarealistofavailableassetsandsuggestionsforincorporatingthemintoyourcourse.

ApplicationExercises

ActivitiesintheComposingProcess

LO:4-1

AACSB:Communication

Blooms:Understand

DifficultyLevel:Medium

Thismatchingexercisehelpslearnersrecognizedifferentactivitiesinthecomposingprocess—planning,writing,revising,andediting.

UseActivitiesintheComposingProcessasareviewoftheconcepts.

Useasquizafterthereading:

AssignChapter4forstudy.

AssignActivitiesintheComposingProcessasaquizonasectionofthereading.

Useasreviewafterlectureanddiscussion:

Givelectureonthecomposingprocessandfollowingwithanactivity:

Asklearnerstoanswerthequestionsinexercise4.1ReviewingtheChapterasagrouptoreviewthechapter’scontent.Reviewanswersasagroup.

Asklearnerstocompleteexercise4.12Revising,Editing,andProofreadinganEmailinpairsorsmallgroups.

AssignActivitiesintheComposingProcessashomeworktoreview.

Useasaprecursortoaclassdiscussionaboutthecomposingprocess:

AssignActivitiesintheComposingProcessafteralecture.

Asklearnerstocompleteexercise4.2InterviewingWritersaboutTheirComposingProcessor4.3AnalyzingYourOwnWritingProcesses.

Followwithaclassdiscussionoftheirfindings.Therewillbeagreatdealofvarietyinthedetailsoftheprocesses,butthereshouldbesomecommonthemesastothewaysgoodwriterswrite(PPTslide4.3).

WaystoMakeYourWritingEasiertoRead

LO:4-2

AACSB:Communication

Blooms:Understand

DifficultyLevel:Medium

Thismatchingexerciseaskslearnerstoidentifywaysinwhichthestatementfailstodemonstratethequalitiesofeffectivebusinesscommunication.Theexercisespecificallyaddressesbusinessjargon,wordiness,andfaultyparallelism.

Useasreviewafterlectureanddiscussion:

Providelectureonwaystomakeyourwritingeasiertoread.

Followwithsmallgroupdiscussion.Asklearnerstocompleteoneofthefollowingexercises:

4.6EliminatingJargonandSimplifyingLanguage

4.9ReducingWordiness

4.10ImprovingParallelStructure

4.13IdentifyingBuzzwordsandJargon

Gathertogetherasalargegroupandaskeachgrouptosharetheirresponses.Repeatexercisewithsecondtextbookexerciseifthereistime.

AssignWaystoMakeYourWritingEasiertoReadashomework.

Useasaprecursortoaworkshopordraftingday:

WaystoMakeYourWritingEasiertoReadworkswellbeforeacomputerlabdaywhereyou’llasklearnerstostartdraftingtheirownmessage.Startclasswithareviewofthequalitiesofeffectivebusinesscommunicationaddressedintheassignment,thenasklearnerstostartworkingontheirownproject.Towardtheendofclass,asklearnerswhatthosequalitieswereandhowthey’vejustusedthemintheirownwriting.

Chapter4Quiz

Themultiple-choicequiztestslearners’understandingofthechapter’scontent.

Chapter4TestBank

Thequestionbankutilizestrue/false,multiplechoice,andshortanswerquestionstothoroughlytestthelearners’understandingofthechapter’scontent.

LearnSmartAchieve?

LearnSmartAchieve?developsandimproveseditingandbusinesswritingskills.Thisadaptivelearningsystemhelpsstudentslearnfaster,studymoreefficiently,andretainmoreknowledgeforgreatersuccess.

WritingProcess

ThisLearnSmartAchieve?exercisecoversthemanystepsinvolvedinthewritingprocess,includinggeneratingideas,planningandorganizing,drafting,revising,andproofreading.

StyleandWordChoice

ThisLearnSmartAchieve?exercisecoversmanywaystomakewritingeasiertoread,includingwordiness,eliminatingredundanciesandrecognizingsentencevariety,wordchoice,andparallelism.

SmartBook?

SmartBook?isthefirstandonlyadaptivereadingexperiencedesignedtochangethewaystudentsreadandlearn.

AnswersandAnalysisforEnd-of-ChapterExercisesandCases

Answersfortheend-of-chapterexercisesandcasesinChapter4aregivenbelow.

4.1ReviewingtheChapter

LO:4-1–4-3

DifficultyLevel:Easy

Whataresometechniquesofgoodwriters?Whichonesdoyouuseregularly?(LO4-1through4-3)

Realizethefirstdraftcanberevised.

Writeregularly.

Breakbigjobsintosmallchunks.

Havecleargoalsfocusingonpurposeandaudience.

Haveseveraldifferentstrategiestochoosefrom.

Userulesflexibly.

Waittoedituntilafterthedraftiscomplete.

Theanswertothesecondpartofthequestionwillvarybylearnerexperience.

Whatarewaystogetideasforaspecificcommunication?(LO4-1)

Thecontentshouldusuallybedeterminedbythesituation.However,togenerateadditionalideas,thefollowingtechniquescanbeused:brainstorming,freewriting,clustering,andtalkingtoyouraudience.

Whatactivitiesarepartofthecomposingprocess?Whichoneshouldyoubedoingmoreoftenormorecarefullyinyourwriting?(LO4-1)

Activitiesofthecomposingprocessinclude:planning,brainstorming,organizing,gathering,writing,evaluating,gettingfeedback,revising,editing,andproofreading.

Theanswertothesecondpartofthequestionwillvarybylearnerexperience.

Whataresomehalf-truthsaboutstyle?(LO4-2)

Writeasyoutalk.

NeveruseI.

Neveruseyou.

Neverbeginasentencewithandorbut.

Neverendasentencewithapreposition.

Neverhaveasentencewithmorethan20wordsoraparagraphwithmorethan8lines.

Bigwordsimpresspeople.

Businesswritingdoesnotdocumentsources.

Whataresomewaysyoucanmakeyoursentencesmoreeffective?(LO4-2)

Useactivevoicemostofthetime.

Useverbs—notnouns—tocarrytheweightofthesentence.

Eliminatewordiness.

Varysentencelengthstructure.

Useparallelform.

Putreadersinthesentences.

Whataresomewaysyoucanmakeyourparagraphsmoreeffective?(LO4-2)

Beginmostparagraphswithtopicsentences.Usetransitionstolinkideas.

Howcanyouadaptgoodstyletoorganizationalpreferences?(LO4-2)

Askco-workersandbossesforstylepreferences.Recognizethatastylemayserveotherpurposesthancommunication.

Howdorevising,editingandproofreadingdiffer?Whichonedoyoupersonallyneedtodomorecarefully?(LO4-3)

Revisingmeansmakingchangesthatwillbettersatisfyyourpurposeandaudience.

Editingmeansmakingsurface-levelchangesthatmakethedocumentgrammaticallycorrect.

Proofreadingmeanscheckingtobesurethedocumentisfreefromtypographicalerrors.

Theanswertothesecondpartofthequestionwillvarybylearnerexperience.Somelearnerswillbeproficientatrevising,whileotherswillstrugglewiththeeditingprocess.

Howcanyougetbetterfeedbackonyourwriting?(LO4-3)

Thequalityofthefeedbackcanbeimprovedbytellingpeoplewhatyouwouldlikecommentsabout.

4.2InterviewingWritersaboutTheirComposingProcesses

LO:4-1

DifficultyLevel:Medium

ThisassignmentcanbemademorechallengingbyaskinglearnerstocompareandcontrastthecomposingprocessesoftwoormorewritersortocomparethecomposingprocessofthewriterinterviewedwiththematerialinChapter5aboutprocessesthathelpandhurtwriters.

Somelearnersmayneedhelpfindingwriterstointerview.Facultyandadministratorsoncampusaswellaspeopleinbusinessandgovernmentaregoodcandidates.Thisassignmentworksbestwhentheintervieweewritesavarietyofdocumentsandcaresabouthisorherwriting.Someonewhowritesmanyvariationsofthesamesimplemessagewillbeunabletoprovideusefulinformation.Anotherwordofcaution:Somebusinesspeople,lackingavocabularytotalkaboutwriting,mayspeakinnotusefulgeneralities.

4.3AnalyzingYourOwnWritingProcesses

LO:4-1

DifficultyLevel:Medium

Learnersneedhelptowriteeffectivememos.Thefollowingproblemsarise:

Manylearnersdonotreviseatall;theyonlyeditandproofread.

Somelearnersmakedraftsworsewhentheyrevise,notbetter.Theiranalysisoftheircomposingprocessesmayalsobeweakenedbytheirinabilitytoevaluatetheirownwriting.

Toseewhethertheanalysisisaccurate,lookatthelearners’drafts.Thisassignmentisthustime-consumingtograde.

Inspiteofthesedifficulties,somelearnersareabletoseepointsabouttheirwritingprocess(es)thatwillhelpthemwritemoreeffectivelybothinthiscourseandonthejob.Thetake-homequizoncomposingprocessesthatfollowsthissectioncanhelplearnersanalyzetheirprocesses.

4.4EvaluatingtheEthicalImplicationofConnotations

LO:4-2

DifficultyLevel:Hard

Ineachofthefollowingpairs,identifythemorefavorableterm.Whenisitsusejustifiable?

Peopleofgoodwillmaydisagreeaboutsomeofthese.

wasted/sacrificed

Sacrificedisconsideredmorepositivebecausesacrificingusuallycarriesreligiousconnotationsandisseenasanobleact.

illegalalien/immigrant

Immigrantisdesirable.Itsuggeststhatapersonhaslegallymigratedtoanothercountry.

bringabout/cause

Bothtermsaresimilarinmeaning,butcauseismoredirectwhilebringaboutismorepassive.

terminate/fire

Terminateisoftenviewedasthepositiveterm.Firingcarriesalotofnegativeconnotationsforpeopleandisthemoreantiquatedterm.

inaccuracy/lying

Themorepositivetermisinaccuracy.Ifyou’reinsinuatingsomeoneislying,itcanseemlikeyouaremakinganaccusationagainstthempersonallyratherthancallingattentiontoamistake.

budget/spendingplan

Spendingplanisthemorepositiveterm.Budgetissonegativethatpeopledon’tliketomakeone,letalonefollowit.

feedback/criticism

Feedbackisthemorepositiveterm.Criticismisnegativeandsomepeopleassociateitwithanattack.

credit/blame

Bothwordshaveinherentjudgment.Creditisapositivetermusedtogiverecognitionforajobwelldone.Blameisanegativetermusedtodeterminefault.

discrepancy/difference

Discrepancyisusedinnegativesituationswhenthereisatroublingmismatchbetweenwhat’sexpectedandwhatispresented(i.e.,moneyearnedandpaycheck;someone’snarrativeandthefacts).Differenceisabroaderandmoreneutraltermusedwhentwothingsthatshouldbealikearen’talike,anditcanbeusedinbothpositiveandnegativesituations.

4.5CorrectingErrorsinDenotationandConnotation

LO:4-2

DifficultyLevel:Easy

Identifyandcorrecttheerrorsindenotationorconnotationinthefollowingsentences.[Theincorrectwordisbolded.]

Inourgroup,weweededoutthebestideaeachpersonhadthoughtof.

(“Weededout”impliesthattheideawasbad,somethingtobediscarded,whichseemstocontradict“best.”)

PossibleRevision:Weanalyzedthebestideaeachpersonhadthoughtoftoreachourdecision.

Sheisaprudentspeculator.

(“Prudent”impliessomeonecautiouswhoavoidsrisk-taking,whichseemstocontradict“speculator.”)

PossibleRevision:Sheisashrewdspeculator.

Thethreeproposalsarediametricallyopposedtoeachother.

(Adiameteronlyhastwoends.)

PossibleRevision:Thethreeproposalsdifferradically.

Whileheresearchedcompanies,hewasliterallygluedtotheweb.

(“Literally”wouldmeanthathewasactuallyattachedtotheweb!)

PossibleRevision:Hespentalotoftimeresearchingcompaniesontheweb.

Ourbackpacksarehandsewnbyoneofroughly16individuals.

(Anexactnumberisn’t“rough.”)

Possiblerevision:Ourbackpacksarehandsewnbyoneof16individuals.

Rajflauntedthelawagainstinsidertrading.

(“Flaunted”meanstoshowordisplayopenly.)

PossibleRevision:Rajignoredthelawagainstinsidertrading.

4.6EliminatingJargonandSimplifyingLanguage

LO:4-2

DifficultyLevel:Easy

Revisethesesentencestoeliminatejargonandtouseshort,familiarwords.

Whentheautomobilecompanyannounceditsstrategicdownsizinginitiative,itofferedemployeesacareeralternativeenhancementprogram.

PossibleRevision:Whentheautomobilecompanydownsized,itofferedemployeescareersupport.

Anyalterationsmustbeapprovedduringthe30-dayperiodcommencing60dayspriortotheexpirationdateoftheagreement.

PossibleRevision:Anychangesinthetermsmustbeapprovedduringthe30daysthatstart60daysbeforetheagreementexpires.

Asperyourrequest,theundersignedhasobtainedestimatesofupgradingourcomputersystem.Acopyoftheestimatedcostisattachedhereto.

PossibleRevision:Hereistheestimateyouaskedforonthecostofupgradingourcomputersystem.

Pleasebeadvisedthatthewriterisinconsiderableneedofanewcomputer.

PossibleRevision:Ineedanewcomputer.

Enclosedpleasefindtheproposeddraftfortheemployeenegativeretentionplan.Intheeventthatyouhavealterationswhichyouwouldliketosuggest,forwardsametomyofficeatyourearliestconvenience.

PossibleRevision:Enclosedistheproposeddownsizingplan.Ifyouhaveanysuggestedchanges,sendthemtomebySeptember3at5:00p.m.

4.7ChangingVerbsfromPassivetoActiveVoice

LO:4-2

DifficultyLevel:Medium

Identifypassivevoiceinthefollowingsentencesandconvertittoactivevoice.Insomecases,youmayneedtoaddinformationtodoso.Youmayusedifferentwordsaslongasyouretainthebasicmeaningofthesentence.Rememberthatimperativeverbsareactivevoice,too.

Ithasbeensuggestedbythecorporateofficethatallfaxesaretobeprintedonrecycledpaper.

PossibleRevision:Thecorporateofficesuggestsprintingallfaxesonrecycledpaper.

TheofficecarpetswillbecleanedprofessionallyonFridayevening.Itisrequestedthatallstaffmembersputtheirbelongingsupontheirdesks.

PossibleRevision:ProfessionalswillcleanthecarpetsonFridayevening.Allstaffmembersshouldputtheirbelongingsontheirdesksbeforeleavingfortheweekend.

Theofficemicrowaveistobecleanedbythosewhouseit.

PossibleRevision:Youshouldcleantheofficemicrowaveeverytimeyouuseit.

Whenthevacationscheduleisfinalizeditisrecommendedthatitberoutedtoallsupervisorsforfinalapproval.

PossibleRevision:Whenyoufinishthevacationschedule,pleaserouteittoallsupervisors.

Materialmustnotbeleftontrucksoutsidethewarehouse.Eitherthetrucksmustbeparkedinsidethewarehouseorthematerialmustbeunloadedatthetimeofreceivingthetruck.

PossibleRevision:Donotleavematerialontrucksoutsidethewarehouse.Parkthetrucksinsidethewarehouseorunloadthematerialwhenyoureceivethetruck.

4.8UsingStrongVerbs

LO:4-2

DifficultyLevel:Easy

Reviseeachofthefollowingsentencestoreplacehiddenverbswithactionverbs.

Anunderstandingofstocksandbondsisimportantifonewantstoinvestwisely.

PossibleRevision:Youmustunderstandstocksandbondstoinvestwisely.

Wemustundertakeacalculationofexpectedrevenuesandexpensesforthenexttwoyears.

PossibleRevision:Wemustcalculateexpectedrevenuesandexpensesforthenexttwoyears.

Theproductionofclearandconcisedocumentsisthemarkofasuccessfulcommunicator.

PossibleRevision:Asuccessfulcommunicatorproducesclearandconcisedocuments.

Wehopetomakeuseofthecompany’swebsitetopromotethenewproductline.

PossibleRevision:Weshouldpromotethenewproductlinebyusingthecompany’swebsite.

IfyouwishtobeeligiblefortheMillerscholarship,youmustcompleteanapplicationbyJanuary31.

PossibleRevision:TobeeligiblefortheMillarscholarship,completeanapplicationbyJanuary31.

Whenyoumakeanevaluationofmediabuys,takeintoconsiderationthedemographicsofthegroupseeingthead.

PossibleRevision:Whenyouevaluatemediabuys,considerthedemographicsofthegroupseeingthead.

Weprovideassistancetoclientsintheprocessofreachingadecisionaboutthepurchaseofhardwareandsoftware.

PossibleRevision:Weassistclientswithhardwareandsoftwarepurchases.

4.9ReducingWordiness

LO:4-2

DifficultyLevel:Medium

1. Eliminatewordsthatsaynothing.Youmayusedifferentwords.

a.Therearemanybusinessesthatareactiveincommunityandservicework.

PossibleRevision:Manybusinessesactivelyparticipateincommunityandservicework.

b.Thepurchaseofanothercomputerfortheclaimsdepartmentwillallowustoproduceformlettersquickly.Inaddition,returnoninvestmentcouldbecalculatedforproposedrepairs.Anotheruseisthatthecomputercouldcheckdatabasestomakesurethatclaimsarepaidonlyonce.