-2024屆高考英語(yǔ)作文復(fù)習(xí)專項(xiàng)讀后續(xù)寫：良知和禮物講義

教學(xué)步驟1.分析文本，梳理故事情節(jié)，完成情節(jié)的語(yǔ)法填空。2.引導(dǎo)學(xué)生分析本文的故事山。3.根據(jù)前文伏筆，結(jié)合續(xù)寫段落首句，進(jìn)行自問自答式SelfQuestion&Answer進(jìn)行故事情節(jié)的推測(cè)；4.根據(jù)推測(cè)，結(jié)合微寫作技能，完成對(duì)故事回落和結(jié)尾部分描寫，注重對(duì)前文回應(yīng)，加強(qiáng)協(xié)調(diào)性；5.點(diǎn)評(píng)學(xué)生優(yōu)秀作品，提供范文。6.提供同樣主題的續(xù)寫，供參考和仿寫。讀后續(xù)寫：良知和禮物Jennystaredatthestorewindowlongingly(渴望地).TherewasnothinginthisworldthatshewantedmorethanahappyHanahdollandallthatcurrentlyseparatedherfromthehottestdolloftheholidayseasonwasathinpieceofglassand29.95plustax.Unfortunately,Jennydidn'tevenhavethe95cents,sosheletoutadeepsighandcontinuedwalkinghome.Suddenly,apinkrectangle(矩形)inthesnowcaughthereye.JennywalkedoverandrealizeditwasaleatherwalletSheremoveditfromthesnow,andopenedthewallettofindathickpileoffoldedgreenbillsandtwoplasticcards.OnewasacreditcardandtheotheranID.JennystaredattheoldwomaninherIDphoto.ThewomanhadabeautifulsmilethatremindedJennyofhergrandma.Jennysighedandthensheputthewalletintoherpurse.Sheturnedaroundandwalkedinthedirectionfromwhichshecame.Jenny'sheartbeatquicklyassheenteredthestore.Shehadlongdreamedaboutthismoment,butsomethingdidn'tfeelrightaboutit.AssheapproachedaneatpileofHappyHannahdolls,shepushedawayherfeelings.ShegraspedoneHappyHannahdoll.AsJennyapproachedtheregister,theHappyHannahShowthemesongbeganplaying.Itwashermobilephone.Itwashergrandma.InonehandsheheldtheHappyHannahdollandintheothersheheldthephoneonwhichhergrandmawascalling.Jenny'sheartwasfilledwithloveandappreciationasshethoughtofhersweetoldgrandma.Sheputthedolldownandpickedupthephonecall."Hi,Grandma?I'mgoingtobealittlebitlatetonight.I'vegottodropsomethingoff...Yeah,itwasgood......OK...Alright...Iloveyoutoo."Jennyleftthestoreandwalkedthroughthemeltingsnowallthewaytotheothersideofthetown.Shethoughtofhergrandmaassherangthebellat301WestStreet.Paragraph1:Thewomanwhoansweredthedoorhadbeencryingrecentlyandlookedupsetandanxious.Paragraph2:Thewomantookthewalletsmilingly.讀后續(xù)寫思維導(dǎo)圖讀寫Who人物When,where背景What，How，why情節(jié)重要道具Conflict沖突、矛盾情節(jié)發(fā)展（action-response）Theme主題Jenny,Jenny’sgrandma,anoldwomanalostwallet(包括：creditcardandID),aHappyHannahDoll/人與自我——主人公克服誘惑，拾金不昧。Para1首句信息Jenney認(rèn)人、失主解釋、Jenny告知錢包并遞給她/Para2首句信息失主感謝、Jenney開心、回家、/第一個(gè)環(huán)節(jié)：確定文章的要素Characters:人：Jenny,Jenny’sgrandma,anoldwoman物：alostwallet(包括：creditcardandID),aHappyHannahDollFeelings:HowdidJenny’semotionchange?(listallthereasons)第二個(gè)環(huán)節(jié)：確定文章的Theme現(xiàn)在確定Theme了：主人公克服誘惑，拾金不昧。（overcomethetemptation,returnthewallettoitsowner）如何通過文章列出的要素去體現(xiàn)主題？WhydidtheauthormentionherGrandma?Whatdoyouknowaboutthesentence:Somethingdidn’tfeelright?DidJennygetherdollatlast?失主給她錢，然后她去買自己的禮物；或者失主給她買禮物；或者Grandma給她買禮物。這些都可以，但是我認(rèn)為還有一個(gè)更好的選擇：Jenny看到失主的開心，并且看到她的錢能救急，覺得這就是她收到的最好的禮物了，她的精神受到了洗禮。如果確定了主題，就要學(xué)會(huì)把文章的要素作為伏筆在不同的地方埋下，前后照應(yīng)。在第一段說(shuō)明這個(gè)錢本身就是為了捐給慈善組織的；第二段老人說(shuō)，孩子們終于有福了。還可以自己加伏筆：老人說(shuō)Jenny是一個(gè)天使。這個(gè)為結(jié)尾埋下伏筆?！_定兩段概要：第一段：Jenney認(rèn)人、失主解釋、Jenny告知錢包并遞給她。第二段：失主感謝、Jenney開心、回家

P1:Thewomanwhoansweredthedoorhadbeencryingrecentlyandlookedupsetandanxious.“AreyouMrs.Green?”Jennyaskedpolitely,recognizingherfromtheIDcardinstantly.(作為一個(gè)陌生人，敲門后第一句應(yīng)該是確定對(duì)方是不是她要找的人，直入主題容易推進(jìn)故事發(fā)展。)Mrs.Greennoddedinconfusionandlethercomein.(切換到Mrs.Green，根據(jù)生活常識(shí)，應(yīng)該是困惑)“Madam,didyoulosesomething?”Jennycontinuedandaskedsomenecessaryquestions.（再次切換，符合Action-Response原則）“Ilostmywalletwiththemoneytobuygiftsforsomepoorchildren.”Theoldladyblurtedoutatlast,hereyesroundinginsurpriseandsparklingwithhope.（此時(shí)不露聲色地把老人的錢的用途說(shuō)出來(lái)）Overcomewithguilt,Jennyfeltherfaceburningandhandedthewallettoher.ThankGod,shewouldhavedisappointedthosekids.(這一段的心里描寫很有必要的，和前文的愧疚照應(yīng)，同時(shí)說(shuō)明了Jenney是多么深刻認(rèn)識(shí)到自己的以前想法和做法的不對(duì)。最后虛擬語(yǔ)氣也是用的恰當(dāng)，實(shí)際上虛擬語(yǔ)氣在記敘文中很常見，一般刻畫人物的后悔、慚愧或慶幸)P2Thewomantookthewalletsmilingly.SheheldittoherchesttightlyandthenhuggedJenny,tearsstreamingdownherface.（承接上文，同時(shí)刻畫她的心理）“Youaretherealangel.Nooneknowswhatthewalletmeanstothechildren.”Shesobbedingratitude.（寫失主的感激的同時(shí)，不忘記埋下伏筆）Jenny’ssoftheartwastouchedbecausehergrandmaoftencalledherangel.(這一句也是照應(yīng)文章中說(shuō)的，她想起了grandma的笑容)Thatnight,shedartedacrossthestreet,thecreakingofsnowechoingintheair.（環(huán)境的描寫襯托她的開心）HoweagershewastotellhergrandmathattodayshegotapresentmoremeaningfulthanHannahdoll—Shewasarealangel!（女孩此時(shí)只想趕快告訴grandma：我是真正的天使啦！此句把她的可愛、純潔刻畫得惟妙惟肖）

范文：Thewomanwhoansweredthedoorhadbeencryingrecentlyandlookedupsetandanxious.

“AreyouMrs.Green?”Jennyaskedpolitelywithsomecertainty,recognizingthefacefromtheIDcardinstantly.Thewomannoddedinconfusionandletthegirlcomein.Afterabriefconversation,itturnedoutthatMrs.Greenlostherwalletonherwaytothestorewiththemoneytobuygiftsforsomepoorchildren.Feelingherfaceburningwithasenseofguiltaswellassomewhatrelief,Jennytookoutthepinkleatherwallet,rejoicingtoseeMrs.Green’seyesroundinginsurpriseandsparklingwithhopeinaflash.筆記：現(xiàn)在分詞做狀語(yǔ)；根據(jù)常識(shí)合理設(shè)置情節(jié)；句型”itturnedoutthat...原來(lái)“；心理活動(dòng)+動(dòng)作+對(duì)方反應(yīng)Thewomantookthewalletsmilingly.SheheldittoherchesttightlyandthenpulledJennyintoherarms,tearsstreamingdownherface.“Youaretherealangel.Nooneknowswhatthewalletmeanstothechildren.”Shesobbedoutherheartfeltgratitude.Jenny’ssoftheartwastouchedbecausehergrandmaoftencalledherlittleangel,allherpreviousinnerstrugglegivingwaytothepureprideinherrightchoice.Thatnight,shedartedacrossthestreets,eagertotellhergrandmathattodayshegotapresentmoremeaningfulthanHannahdoll—shewasarealangel!筆記：動(dòng)作+表情描寫；呼應(yīng)詞angel；心理轉(zhuǎn)變句型；結(jié)尾句：人物離場(chǎng)+全新自我最終自測(cè)：Thewomanwhoansweredthedoorhadbeencryingrecentlyandlookedupsetandanxious.

“你是格林太太嗎？“珍妮禮貌地問道，立刻認(rèn)出了身份證上的那張臉。女人困惑地點(diǎn)了點(diǎn)頭，讓女孩進(jìn)到家里來(lái)。簡(jiǎn)短交談幾句之后，原來(lái)格林太太在去商店的路上丟的錢包，里面有給一些貧苦孩子買禮物的錢。珍妮感到臉上滾燙，有內(nèi)疚也有一點(diǎn)如釋重負(fù)，她拿出那個(gè)粉紅色皮錢包，很高興看到格林太太的眼睛驚訝地睜大了，一瞬間閃起了希望。Thewomantookthewalletsmilingly.她把它緊緊地放在胸前，然后把珍妮拉進(jìn)懷里，眼淚順著臉流下來(lái)?！澳闶钦嬲奶焓?。沒人知道這個(gè)錢包對(duì)孩子們意味著什么?！彼拗磉_(dá)了她衷心的感激之情。珍妮柔軟的心被感動(dòng)了，因?yàn)樗哪棠探?jīng)常稱她為小天使，她之前所有的內(nèi)心掙扎都讓位于她對(duì)自己做了正確選擇的純粹驕傲。那天晚上，她飛奔過一條條街道，急切地想告訴她的奶奶，今天她得到了一個(gè)比漢娜娃娃更有意義的禮物——她是一個(gè)真正的天使！語(yǔ)料默寫：立刻認(rèn)出了那張臉______________________________________困惑地點(diǎn)頭____________________