難點(diǎn)14書面表達(dá)之細(xì)節(jié)構(gòu)思（解析版）-2021年高考英語【熱點(diǎn)·重點(diǎn)·難點(diǎn)】（浙江專用）

2021年高考英語【熱點(diǎn)?重點(diǎn)?難點(diǎn)】專練（浙江專用）

難點(diǎn)14書面表達(dá)之細(xì)節(jié)構(gòu)思

【難點(diǎn)釋義】

根據(jù)高考英語作文的評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，作文被分成了五個檔次。其中分?jǐn)?shù)較高的檔次對于考生作文的要求都

涉及了覆蓋所有內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)、使用較多語法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯、有效使用語句間的連接成分。其中，一個重要的方

面就是在作文中要注意細(xì)節(jié)的體現(xiàn)。那么我們該如何在寫作中彰顯細(xì)節(jié)之美呢？

1.思維路徑1：列舉具體的實(shí)例進(jìn)行補(bǔ)充說明

［經(jīng)典示例］

(D我們青少年應(yīng)盡所能保護(hù)環(huán)境、拯救地球。

Weteenagersshoulddowhatwecantoprotecttheenvironmentandsavetheearth.

—Weteenagersshoulddowhatwecantoprotecttheenvironmentandsavetheearth.Forexample,wecan

userecyclablebagsinsteadofplasticbags,refusetousesingle-useproducts,plantmoretreesandsave

waterandenergy.

⑵我要花一些時間和父母在一起。

PHspendsometimestayingwithmyparents.

一I'Hspendsometimestayingwithmyparents,chattingwiththemanddoingsomehousework.

(3)我想找一個像我一樣喜歡旅行的筆友。

Iwouldliketoseekapenpalwhoisinterestedintravelingjustlikeme.

—*1wouldliketoseekapenpalwhoisinterestedintravelingjustlikeme.Ifpossible,wecantraveltogether

orsharetraveling.

2.思維路徑2：增添與所寫信息相關(guān)的神態(tài)、動作、心理描寫以及背景渲染等內(nèi)容

［經(jīng)典示例］

(1)我有時去村西的小河游泳。

Iwentswimmingintheriverinthewestofthevillagenowandthen.

—>1wentswimmingintheriverinthewestofthevillagenowandthen.Thewaterintheriverwasveryclear.

(背景渲染)

—Weatherpermitting,Iwentswimmingintheriverinthewestofthevillagenowandthen.(相關(guān)背景)

(2)我看到了一些不良行為。

Ifoundsomebadbehavior.

—>1foundsomebadbehavior.Somepeoplescribbledonthewall;someplayedsocceronthelawnandsome

peoplethrewrubbisheverywhere.（相關(guān)行為描述）

3.思維路徑3：增加相關(guān)信息的時間、地點(diǎn)等內(nèi)容

［經(jīng)典示例］

⑴我要和父母一起去超市購物。

I'mgoingtodosomeshoppingwithmyparentsinthesupermarket.

—I'mgoingtodosomeshoppingwithmyparentsinthesupermarketandwon'tbebackuntilabout5:00inthe

afternoon.（增力口時間）

（2）我已經(jīng)帶來了你讓我歸還的這兩本書。

Ihavetakenwithmethetwobooksyouaskedmetoreturn.

—JhavetakenwithmethetwobooksyouaskedmetoretumtotheCityLibrary.（增加地點(diǎn)）

4.思維路徑4：適當(dāng)增加與所給信息相關(guān)的原因、結(jié)果、條件、讓步、手段、目的、地點(diǎn)等內(nèi)容

［經(jīng)典示例I

⑴假設(shè)你是李華，你的英國筆友Henry最近來信詢問你高考后的暑假安排。請根據(jù)下面要點(diǎn)寫一封回信,

說明你的計劃，并簡述理由。

要點(diǎn):I.休息；

2.讀書；

3.參加社會活動。

①Ineedagoodrest.Elldosomereading.

—1needagoodrestbecauseIdofeeltiredafterthehardworkofalltheseyears.Ofcourse,I'lldosome

readingforfun,andforknowledgeaswell.（因果關(guān)系）

②I'lltakepartinsomesocialactivities.

—>IfIhavefreetime,I'lltakepartinsomesocialactivities.（條件狀語）

一Ifpossible,PHtakepartinsomesocialactivities.（條件狀語）

一Ifpossible,Filtakepartinsomesocialactivitiessothat/inorderthatIcanknowmoreaboutsociety.

（結(jié)果狀語）

（2）Tracy來電話說咖啡屋（BollonCoffee）見面取消。

Tracycalled,sayingthatshecouldn'tmeetyouatBoltonCoffee.

—>Tracycalled,sayingthatshecouldn'tmeetyouatBoltonCoffeeasshehadsomethingimportanttodo.

（原因狀語）

5.思維路徑5：結(jié)尾適當(dāng)發(fā)揮，寫出個人感受、評價、希望、愿景、倡議等

［經(jīng)典示例］

(l)AhhoughIwasverytiredthissummerholiday,IfeltveryhappyforwhatIdid.(個人感受)

(2)1thinksuchactivitiesarenecessaryandmeaningful.(評價)

(3)Inaword,ifshewouldliketolearnChinese,Ihopeshewilldoitwell.(愿景)

(4)Asstudents,it'sourdutytoprotectourschoolenvironmentandmakeitclean.(倡議)

【語篇錘煉】

假如你是班長，你們學(xué)校本周日將組織一次參觀首都博物館的活動，請你寫一個口頭通知。相關(guān)內(nèi)容

如下:

安排：

1.8:00在學(xué)校大門口集合，集體乘車去首都博物館;

2.8:40在導(dǎo)游的帶領(lǐng)下參觀首都博物館；

3.12:00參觀結(jié)束，集體乘車返回學(xué)校。

要求：

1.參觀過程中請自覺遵守公共秩序；

2.館內(nèi)禁止拍照；

3.參觀后每人寫一篇日記。

注意：

1.詞數(shù)80左右;

2.通知的開頭已為你寫好。

Dearstudents,

Attention,please.

【參考范文】

Dearstudents,

Attention,please.

Ihavesomethingtotellyou.InordertoknowmoreaboutBeijing,wearegoingtopayavisittothe

CapitalMuseumthisSunday.Besuretoarriveattheschoolgatebefore8:00a.m.Wewillgotherebybus

altogether.Atabout8:40a.m.,we'llvisitthemuseumfollowingaguide.Thevisitwillbeoverataround

12:00,andthenwe'llreturnbybus.Pleaseobservepublicorder,keepquietandavoidrunning.Video

recordingandflashphotographyareforbiddeninthemuseumsoyou'dbettertakesomenotessincewehaveto

writeadiaryafterthevisiting.

Hopeyouenjoythevisit.

That'sall.Thankyou.

【寫作實(shí)踐】

1.假定你是李華，來自英國的交換生George周末想去旅游，你推薦你們當(dāng)?shù)匾钥萍紴橹黝}的Futuroscope公

園，請你給他一封電子郵件告訴他相關(guān)的旅行信息。內(nèi)容包括：

1.景點(diǎn)概況；

2.推薦理由；

3.注意事項。

注意：I.詞數(shù)80詞左右；

2.可以適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，以使行文連貫。

【答案】

DearGeorge,

Knowingthatyoufeelliketakingatripattheweekend,IhighlyrecommendFuturoscopeasyour

destination.

Futuroscope,athemeparkknownforscienceandtechnology,willsurelyprovideyoutheuniqueexperience

ofthemostadvancedtechnology.Notonlycanyoutryyourownscientificexperimenttherebutalsolearnmore

aboutspacetravel,theunderseaworldandbrandnewexperiencesoftheearth.What'smore,thepicturesque

scenerythereinthisseasonmustbeafeastforyoureyes.

Consideringyouwillwalkalot,pleasewearcomfortablesneakers.Wishyouanenjoyableweekend!

Yours,

LiHua

【分析】

本篇書面表達(dá)屬于應(yīng)用文，要求考生給來自英國的交換生George寫封郵件，向他介紹與游覽

Futuroscope公園相關(guān)的旅行信息。

【詳解】

第一步：審題

體裁：應(yīng)用文

時態(tài)：根據(jù)提示，時態(tài)主要為一般現(xiàn)在時，少量一般將來時。

結(jié)構(gòu)：三段法

第一段寫來信目的；第二段寫景點(diǎn)概況和推薦理由；第三段寫注意事項。

要求：內(nèi)容包括以下幾個方面：

1.景點(diǎn)概況；

2.推薦理由；

3.注意事項。

第二步:列提綱（重點(diǎn)詞組）

takeatrip,highlyrecommend...asknownfor,scienceandtechnology,learnabout,spacetravel,theundersea

world,brandnewexperiencesoftheearth,picturesquescenery,afeastforyoureyes.

第三步：連詞成句

Youfeelliketakingatripattheweekend.

IhighlyrecommendFuturoscopeasyourdestination.

Futuroscope,athemeparkknownforscienceandtechnology,willsurelyprovideyoutheuniqueexperienceof

themostadvancedtechnology.

Youcantryyourownscientificexperimentthere.

Youcanlearnmoreaboutspacetravel,theunderseaworldandbrandnewexperiencesoftheearth.

Thepicturesquescenerythereinthisseasonmustbeafeastforyoureyes.

根據(jù)提示及關(guān)鍵詞（組）進(jìn)行遣詞造句，注意主謂一致和時態(tài)問題。

第四步：連句成篇（銜接詞）

1.表并列補(bǔ)充關(guān)系：What'smore,notonly...but（also）.

2.表因果關(guān)系：Knowingthat,Considering.

連句成文，注意使用恰當(dāng)?shù)倪B詞進(jìn)行句子之間的銜接與過渡，確保行文流暢。

【點(diǎn)睛】

[高分句型I]Knowingthatyoufeelliketakingatripattheweekend,IhighlyrecommendFuturoscopeasyour

destination.該句中knowing是現(xiàn)在分詞作原因狀語，that引導(dǎo)賓語從句。

[高分句型2]Notonlycanyoutryyourownscientificexperimenttherebutalsolearnmoreaboutspacetravel,

theunderseaworldandbrandnewexperiencesoftheearth.該句是并列句，用了notonly...butalso表并列關(guān)系

的連詞，前半句以notonly開頭，句子用了部分倒裝。

2.閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個完整的故事。

StevewasthemostamazingpersoninallofMinneapolis,andhewasmycousin.Bytheageof19,Stevewas

astarbaseballplayerattheUniversityofMinnesota.Iwantedtobeexactlylikehim.SowhenSteveaskedmeto

gowithhimonaspringfishingtripinnorthernMinnesota,Iwasexcited!

Afterplanningthetrip,wegatheredclothesandsupplies,andbeganourgreatadvenlure.Wereachedthe

SuperiorNationalForestinnorthernMinnesotabyearlyevening.Onourwaytothecampsite,Stevepointedtoa

smallhousefarawayinoneofthemountains,sayingthatitwastherangerstationwheretheforesterworked.

Finally,afteralongwalk,wereachedthecampsiteandsetupthecampasthesunwassetting.Steveknewall

thetricksofanexperiencedwildernesscamper.Afterwegatheredenoughwoodfromtheforest,hestartedthe

campfireusingonlystoneandsteel—nomatches.Forsupperwefeastedonfreeze-driedbeef,wildriceandpea

soup.Iategreedilyafterallthatwork.

Tiredenough,weclimbedintooursleepingbagsearlyandtalkedaboutourplansforfishingthenextday.We

werestilltalkingquietlywhenasuddennorthwindpickedup;thetemperaturedroppedanditbegantosnow.

Stevefoundawaytoincreasethetemperatureinsidethetent.Hedraggedalogfromtheforesttotheoppositeside

ofthecampfire.Thenhewrappedaluminumfoilaroundthelog.Theheatfromthefirereflectedoffthefoiland

intothetent.Soonimagesoflakefishwerefillingmydreams.

Thesnowhadstopped,butsometimelaterapowerfulwindmusthavekickeduptheflamesofourdyingfire.

IwasabruptlyawakenedbySteve.Ourtentwasonfire.Frightened,Iranoutofthetentimmediately.Thetent

collapsedwithSteveinside.

注意：

1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；

2.至少使用5個短文中標(biāo)有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞語；

3.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語已為你寫好；

4.續(xù)寫完成后，請用下劃線標(biāo)出你所使用的關(guān)鍵詞語。

Paragraph1:

Withoutanythoughtofendangeringmyself,

Paragraph2:

Suddenly,weheardanoiseintheforest.

【答案】

Paragraph1:

Withoutanythoughtofendangeringmyself,Irushedintotheburningtentandpulledhimtotheicylake.

Fortunately,wewerenotseriouslyhurt.Later,aswestoodbytheburningtenttokeepwarm,weconsideredour

difficultsituation.Ourcampsitewasinthedeepoftheforest,reallyfarawayfromthehighway.Wewereinthe

middleofnowhere,wearingonlyunderwear,withoursuppliesburntintoashes,includingourcellphones.Even

Sievewasunsurewhattodonext.Theonlythingwecoulddowasjustsittinginthecoldairandwonderinghow

togetoutoftheforest.

Paragraph2:

Suddenly,weheardanoiseintheforest.Anxiouslywelistenedandstaredintothedarkness.Ajeepappeared.

AAreslerhadspottedthelightfromthefireandhadcometohaveacheck.Wejumpedintothewarmvehicleand

theforesterdroveustotherangerstation,whereweweregivenclothesandwereabletocallourparents.Steve

and1hadmanymorecampingadventuresfromthenon,butitwasonthistripthatStevebegantotreatmemore

likeafriendandequal,ratherthanayoungercousin.Ourfriendshipcontinuestothisday.

【分析】

本文以人物為線索展開，講述了作者和表哥史蒂夫去尼蘇達(dá)州北部的蘇必利爾山國家森林營地里露營，準(zhǔn)

備第二天去釣魚。但是由于夜里刮起了大風(fēng)，導(dǎo)致帳篷著火了。幸運(yùn)地是，作者從著火的帳篷里把史蒂夫

拉出來了，二人都沒受什么重傷。

【詳解】

1.段落續(xù)寫：

①由第一段首句內(nèi)容“我不顧自己的安?！笨芍谝欢慰擅鑼懽髡呤侨绾尉瘸鍪返俜虻?，以及他們脫

險后的處境。

②由笫二段首句內(nèi)容“突然，我們聽到森林里有聲音?！笨芍诙慰擅鑼懽髡咚麄兪侨绾伪蝗税l(fā)現(xiàn)獲救

的，以及作者在這次經(jīng)歷后與史蒂夫的關(guān)系變化。

2.續(xù)寫線索：救史蒂夫——被困森林深處——聽見聲音——得救——和史蒂夫成為朋友

3.詞匯激活

行為類

沖進(jìn)：rushinto/jumpinto

著火：burninto/burning/catchonfire

發(fā)現(xiàn)：spot/notice

情緒類

艱難：difficult/tough

不確定：unsure/uncertain

【點(diǎn)睛】

[高分句型1]

Later,aswestoodbytheburningtenttokeepwarm,weconsideredourdifficultsituation.后來，當(dāng)我們站在燃

燒著的帳篷旁邊取暖時，我們考慮了我們的困難處境。（運(yùn)用as引導(dǎo)時間狀語從句）

[高分句型2]

Aforesterwhohadspottedthelightfromthefirehadcometohaveacheck.一個發(fā)現(xiàn)火光的森林管理員過來

檢查。（運(yùn)用who引導(dǎo)定語從句）

3.閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容寫一篇60詞左右的內(nèi)容概要。

Choosingtherightcollegecanbeadifficulttask.Therearethousandsofcollegesanduniversitiesforyouto

choosefromandmanyareworthyofbeingconsidered.Foreachpotentialcollege,findoutthesuccessrateof

students'gettingtheirjobs,especiallythoserelatedtoyourmajors.Herearesomestrategies（策略）foryouto

maketherightchoice.

Collegeswhichofferpracticeinsomeofthefieldsareworthyofyourattention.Itcanprovideyouwitha

largeamountofinformationonjobhunting.Companiesoftenpreferemployeesthatperformwell.Practicegives

youthevaluableexperienceandnecessaryopportunities.Somepracticalskillsthatyoulearnwillreallyprepare

yourselfforthecertainjobs.Besides,choosingacollegethathasteachermemberswithgoodreputationsintheir

fieldscanalsobeveryusefulsincetheseteachermemberscanprovideyouwithstepsintotheworkingworldby

practice.

Schoolrankingsandanationalreputationofacademicsuccessareoftentheimportantfactors（因素）foryour

potentialemployers.ThistypeofinformationcanbefoundeasilyontheInternetandinmagazines.Tothe

employers,graduatesfromhighrankingcollegesareoftenconsideredmorereliable.Theyhaveastrongerability

tolearnandaremorelikelytocreatewealthforthecompany.Sometimesitcanevenbeamoreimportantfactorin

lookingforajobthantheactualqualityofeducationthecollegeprovides.

Afternarrowingdownyourchoicestoafewcolleges,il'stimetovisitthem.Takingalookatthecampus（校

園）canchangeyourattitudetoaparticularschool.Planyourtourandthendosomeresearchonyourown.Itis

alsoimportanttotalktoasmanystudentsasyoucanandfindoutifearningadegreefromtheschoolishelpfulin

gettingajob.Meanwhile,youcanspeaktothestudentsinthemajorsyou'reconsideringtoknowwhatthecourses

arelike,whatyoulllearn,andwhatyourexpectedoutcomewillbe.

【答案】

Challengingasitistochooseanidealcollege,there'resometipsthatmayhelp.（要點(diǎn)1）First,collegesthat

providepracticeandhavedistinguishedteachersincertainfieldsareworthconsidering.（要點(diǎn)2）Second,it's

advisabletosearchforacademicrankingsandreputation,whichyourfutureemployersmaycareabout.（要點(diǎn)3）

Afteryouhavecandidates,visitthemandenquiremoreofrelatedsludents.（要點(diǎn)4）

【分析】

這是一篇議論文，文章就如何選擇一個好的大學(xué)給出幾點(diǎn)建議。

【詳解】

第一步：概括每個段落的大意

第?段主要說明了選擇一個理想的大學(xué)是一個挑戰(zhàn)，會影響到未來的工作，所以作者給出幾點(diǎn)選擇大學(xué)的

建議?？梢杂肅hallengingasitistochooseanidealcollege,there5resometipsthatmayhelp.表示。

第二段給出第一個建議，第一句就給出了主旨句子Colleg