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Chapter19
ThelibrarylookedtranquilenoughasIenteredit,andtheSibyl—ifSibylshewere—wasseatedsnuglyenoughinaneasy-chairatthechimney-corner.Shehadonaredcloakandablackbonnet:orrather,abroad-brimmedgipsyhat,tieddownwithastripedhandkerchiefunderherchin.Anextinguishedcandlestoodonthetable;shewasbendingoverthefire,andseemedreadinginalittleblackbook,likeaprayer-book,bythelightoftheblaze:shemutteredthewordstoherself,asmostoldwomendo,whilesheread;shedidnotdesistimmediatelyonmyentrance:itappearedshewishedtofinishaparagraph.
Istoodontherugandwarmedmyhands,whichwererathercoldwithsittingatadistancefromthedrawing-roomfire.IfeltnowascomposedaseverIdidinmylife:therewasnothingindeedinthegipsy’sappearancetotroubleone’scalm.Sheshutherbookandslowlylookedup;herhat-brimpartiallyshadedherface,yetIcouldsee,assheraisedit,thatitwasastrangeone.Itlookedallbrownandblack:elf-locksbristledoutfrombeneathawhitebandwhichpassedunderherchin,andcamehalfoverhercheeks,orratherjaws:hereyeconfrontedmeatonce,withaboldanddirectgaze.
“Well,andyouwantyourfortunetold?”shesaid,inavoiceasdecidedasherglance,asharshasherfeatures.
“Idon’tcareaboutit,mother;youmaypleaseyourself:butIoughttowarnyou,Ihavenofaith.”
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“It’slikeyourimpudencetosayso:Iexpecteditofyou;
Ihearditinyourstepasyoucrossedthethreshold.”“Didyou?You’veaquickear.”
“Ihave;andaquickeyeandaquickbrain.”
“Youneedthemallinyourtrade.”
“Ido;especiallywhenI’vecustomerslikeyoutodealwith.Whydon’tyoutremble?”
“I’mnotcold.”
“Whydon’tyouturnpale?”
“Iamnotsick.”
“Whydon’tyouconsultmyart?”
“I’mnotsilly.”
Theoldcrone“nichered”alaughunderherbonnetandbandage;shethendrewoutashortblackpipe,andlightingitbegantosmoke.Havingindulgedawhileinthissedative,sheraisedherbentbody,tookthepipefromherlips,andwhilegazingsteadilyatthefire,saidverydeliberately—“Youarecold;youaresick;andyouaresilly.”
“Proveit,”Irejoined.
“Iwill,infewwords.Youarecold,becauseyouarealone:nocontactstrikesthefirefromyouthatisinyou.Youaresick;becausethebestoffeelings,thehighestandthesweetestgiventoman,keepsfaraway
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fromyou.Youaresilly,because,sufferasyoumay,youwillnotbeckonittoapproach,norwillyoustironesteptomeetitwhereitwaitsyou.”
Sheagainputhershortblackpipetoherlips,andrenewedhersmokingwithvigour.
“Youmightsayallthattoalmostanyonewhoyouknewlivedasasolitarydependentinagreathouse.”
“Imightsayittoalmostanyone:butwoulditbetrueofalmostanyone?”
“Inmycircumstances.”
“Yes;justso,inYOURcircumstances:butfindme
anotherpreciselyplacedasyouare.”
“Itwouldbeeasytofindyouthousands.”
“Youcouldscarcelyfindmeone.Ifyouknewit,youarepeculiarlysituated:verynearhappiness;yes,withinreachofit.Thematerialsareallprepared;thereonlywantsamovementtocombinethem.Chancelaidthemsomewhatapart;letthembeonceapproachedandblissresults.”
“Idon’tunderstandenigmas.Inevercouldguessariddleinmylife.”
“Ifyouwishmetospeakmoreplainly,showmeyourpalm.”
“AndImustcrossitwithsilver,Isuppose?”
“Tobesure.”
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Igaveherashilling:sheputitintoanoldstocking-footwhichshetookoutofherpocket,andhavingtieditroundandreturnedit,shetoldmetoholdoutmyhand.Idid.Shearchedherfacetothepalm,andporedoveritwithouttouchingit.“Itistoofine,”saidshe.“Icanmakenothingofsuchahandasthat;almostwithoutlines:besides,whatisinapalm?Destinyisnotwrittenthere.”“Ibelieveyou,”saidI.“No,”shecontinued,“itisintheface:ontheforehead,abouttheeyes,inthelinesofthemouth.Kneel,andliftupyourhead.”“Ah!nowyouarecomingtoreality,”Isaid,asIobeyedher.“Ishallbegintoputsomefaithinyoupresently.”
Ikneltwithinhalfayardofher.Shestirredthefire,so
thatarippleoflightbrokefromthedisturbedcoal:theglare,however,asshesat,onlythrewherfaceinto
deepershadow:mine,itillumined.“Iwonderwithwhatfeelingsyoucametometo-night,”shesaid,whenshehadexaminedmeawhile.“Iwonderwhatthoughtsarebusyinyourheartduringallthehoursyousitinyonderroomwiththefinepeopleflittingbeforeyoulikeshapesinamagic-lantern:justaslittlesympatheticcommunionpassingbetweenyouandthemasiftheywerereallymereshadowsofhumanforms,andnottheactualsubstance.”“Ifeeltiredoften,sleepysometimes,butseldomsad.”
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“Thenyouhavesomesecrethopetobuoyyouupandpleaseyouwithwhispersofthefuture?”
“NotI.TheutmostIhopeis,tosavemoneyenoughoutofmyearningstosetupaschoolsomedayinalittlehouserentedbymyself.”
“Ameannutrimentforthespirittoexiston:andsitting
inthatwindow-seat(youseeIknowyourhabits)—““Youhavelearnedthemfromtheservants.”
“Ah!youthinkyourselfsharp.Well,perhapsIhave:tospeaktruth,Ihaveanacquaintancewithoneofthem,Mrs.Poole—“
IstartedtomyfeetwhenIheardthename.
“Youhave—haveyou?”thoughtI;“thereisdiablerieinthebusinessafterall,then!”
“Don’tbealarmed,”continuedthestrangebeing;“she’sasafehandisMrs.Poole:closeandquiet;anyonemayreposeconfidenceinher.But,asIwassaying:sittinginthatwindow-seat,doyouthinkofnothingbutyourfutureschool?Haveyounopresentinterestinanyofthecompanywhooccupythesofasandchairsbeforeyou?Istherenotonefaceyoustudy?onefigurewhose
movementsyoufollowwithatleastcuriosity?”“Iliketoobserveallthefacesandallthefigures.”
“Butdoyouneversingleonefromtherest—oritmaybe,two?”
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“Idofrequently;whenthegesturesorlooksofapairseemtellingatale:itamusesmetowatchthem.”
“Whattaledoyoulikebesttohear?”
“Oh,Ihavenotmuchchoice!Theygenerallyrunonthesametheme—courtship;andpromisetoendinthesamecatastrophe—marriage.”
“Anddoyoulikethatmonotonoustheme?”“Positively,Idon’tcareaboutit:itisnothingtome.”
“Nothingtoyou?Whenalady,youngandfulloflifeandhealth,charmingwithbeautyandendowedwiththegiftsofrankandfortune,sitsandsmilesintheeyes
ofagentlemanyou—“
“Iwhat?”
“Youknow—andperhapsthinkwellof.”
“Idon’tknowthegentlemenhere.Ihavescarcelyinterchangedasyllablewithoneofthem;andastothinkingwellofthem,Iconsidersomerespectable,andstately,andmiddle-aged,andothersyoung,dashing,handsome,andlively:butcertainlytheyareallatlibertytobetherecipientsofwhosesmilestheyplease,withoutmyfeelingdisposedtoconsiderthetransactionofanymomenttome.”
“Youdon’tknowthegentlemenhere?Youhavenotexchangedasyllablewithoneofthem?Willyousaythatofthemasterofthehouse!”
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“Heisnotathome.”
“Aprofoundremark!Amostingeniousquibble!HewenttoMillcotethismorning,andwillbebackhereto-nightorto-morrow:doesthatcircumstanceexcludehimfromthelistofyouracquaintance—blothim,asitwere,outofexistence?”
“No;butIcanscarcelyseewhatMr.Rochesterhastodowiththethemeyouhadintroduced.”
“Iwastalkingofladiessmilingintheeyesofgentlemen;andoflatesomanysmileshavebeenshedintoMr.Rochester’seyesthattheyoverflowliketwocupsfilledabovethebrim:haveyouneverremarkedthat?”
“Mr.Rochesterhasarighttoenjoythesocietyofhisguests.”
“Noquestionabouthisright:buthaveyouneverobservedthat,ofallthetalestoldhereaboutmatrimony,Mr.Rochesterhasbeenfavouredwiththemostlivelyandthemostcontinuous?”
“Theeagernessofalistenerquickensthetongueofanarrator.”Isaidthisrathertomyselfthantothegipsy,whosestrangetalk,voice,manner,hadbythistimewrappedmeinakindofdream.Oneunexpectedsentencecamefromherlipsafteranother,tillIgotinvolvedinawebofmystification;andwonderedwhatunseenspirithadbeensittingforweeksbymyheartwatchingitsworkingsandtakingrecordofeverypulse.
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“Eagernessofalistener!”repeatedshe:“yes;Mr.Rochesterhassatbythehour,hisearinclinedtothefascinatinglipsthattooksuchdelightintheirtaskofcommunicating;andMr.Rochesterwassowillingtoreceiveandlookedsogratefulforthepastimegivenhim;youhavenoticedthis?”
“Grateful!Icannotrememberdetectinggratitudeinhisface.”
“Detecting!Youhaveanalysed,then.Andwhatdidyoudetect,ifnotgratitude?”
Isaidnothing.
“Youhaveseenlove:haveyounot?—and,lookingforward,youhaveseenhimmarried,andbeheldhisbridehappy?”
“Humph!Notexactly.Yourwitch’sskillisratheratfaultsometimes.”
“Whatthedevilhaveyouseen,then?”
“Nevermind:Icameheretoinquire,nottoconfess.IsitknownthatMr.Rochesteristobemarried?”
“Yes;andtothebeautifulMissIngram.”
“Shortly?”
“Appearanceswouldwarrantthatconclusion:and,nodoubt(though,withanaudacitythatwantschastisingoutofyou,youseemtoquestionit),theywillbeasuperlativelyhappypair.Hemustlovesucha
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handsome,noble,witty,accomplishedlady;andprobablysheloveshim,or,ifnothisperson,atleasthispurse.IknowsheconsiderstheRochesterestateeligibletothelastdegree;though(Godpardonme!)Itoldhersomethingonthatpointaboutanhouragowhichmadeherlookwondrousgrave:thecornersofhermouthfellhalfaninch.Iwouldadviseherblackavicedsuitortolookout:ifanothercomes,withalongerorclearerrent-roll,—he’sdished—“
“But,mother,IdidnotcometohearMr.Rochester’sfortune:Icametohearmyown;andyouhavetoldmenothingofit.”
“Yourfortuneisyetdoubtful:whenIexaminedyourface,onetraitcontradictedanother.Chancehasmetedyouameasureofhappiness:thatIknow.IknewitbeforeIcameherethisevening.Shehaslaiditcarefullyononesideforyou.Isawherdoit.Itdependsonyourselftostretchoutyourhand,andtakeitup:butwhetheryouwilldoso,istheproblemIstudy.Kneelagainontherug.”
“Don’tkeepmelong;thefirescorchesme.”
Iknelt.Shedidnotstooptowardsme,butonlygazed,leaningbackinherchair.Shebeganmuttering,-
“Theflameflickersintheeye;theeyeshineslikedew;itlookssoftandfulloffeeling;itsmilesatmyjargon:itissusceptible;impressionfollowsimpressionthroughitsclearsphere;whereitceasestosmile,itissad;anunconsciouslassitudeweighsonthelid:thatsignifies
338
melancholyresultingfromloneliness.Itturnsfromme;itwillnotsufferfurtherscrutiny;itseemstodeny,byamockingglance,thetruthofthediscoveriesIhavealreadymade,—todisownthechargebothofsensibilityandchagrin:itsprideandreserveonlyconfirmmeinmyopinion.Theeyeisfavourable.
“Astothemouth,itdelightsattimesinlaughter;itisdisposedtoimpartallthatthebrainconceives;thoughIdaresayitwouldbesilentonmuchtheheartexperiences.Mobileandflexible,itwasneverintendedtobecompressedintheeternalsilenceofsolitude:itisamouthwhichshouldspeakmuchandsmileoften,andhavehumanaffectionforitsinterlocutor.Thatfeaturetooispropitious.
“Iseenoenemytoafortunateissuebutinthebrow;andthatbrowprofessestosay,—‘Icanlivealone,ifself-respect,andcircumstancesrequiremesotodo.Ineednotsellmysoultobuybliss.Ihaveaninwardtreasurebornwithme,whichcankeepmealiveifallextraneousdelightsshouldbewithheld,orofferedonlyatapriceIcannotaffordtogive.’Theforeheaddeclares,‘Reasonsitsfirmandholdsthereins,andshewillnotletthefeelingsburstawayandhurryhertowildchasms.Thepassionsmayragefuriously,liketrueheathens,astheyare;andthedesiresmayimagineallsortsofvainthings:butjudgmentshallstillhavethelastwordineveryargument,andthecastingvoteineverydecision.Strongwind,earthquake-shock,andfiremaypassby:butIshallfollowtheguidingofthatstillsmallvoicewhichinterpretsthedictatesofconscience.’
339
“Wellsaid,forehead;yourdeclarationshallberespected.Ihaveformedmyplans—rightplansIdeemthem—andinthemIhaveattendedtotheclaimsofconscience,thecounselsofreason.Iknowhowsoonyouthwouldfadeandbloomperish,if,inthecupofblissoffered,butonedregofshame,oroneflavourofremorseweredetected;andIdonotwantsacrifice,sorrow,dissolution—suchisnotmytaste.Iwishtofoster,nottoblight—toearngratitude,nottowringtearsofblood—no,norofbrine:myharvestmustbeinsmiles,inendearments,insweet—Thatwilldo.IthinkIraveinakindofexquisitedelirium.Ishouldwishnowtoprotractthismomentadinfinitum;butIdarenot.SofarIhavegovernedmyselfthoroughly.IhaveactedasIinwardlysworeIwouldact;butfurthermighttrymebeyondmystrength.Rise,MissEyre:leaveme;theplayisplayedout’.”
WherewasI?DidIwakeorsleep?HadIbeendreaming?DidIdreamstill?Theoldwoman’svoicehadchanged:heraccent,hergesture,andallwerefamiliartomeasmyownfaceinaglass—asthespeechofmyowntongue.Igotup,butdidnotgo.Ilooked;Istirredthefire,andIlookedagain:butshedrewherbonnetandherbandagecloseraboutherface,andagainbeckonedmetodepart.Theflameilluminatedherhandstretchedout:rousednow,andonthealertfordiscoveries,Iatoncenoticedthathand.Itwasnomorethewitheredlimbofeldthanmyown;itwasaroundedsupplemember,withsmoothfingers,symmetricallyturned;abroadringflashedonthelittle
340
finger,andstoopingforward,Ilookedatit,andsawagemIhadseenahundredtimesbefore.AgainIlookedattheface;whichwasnolongerturnedfromme—onthecontrary,thebonnetwasdoffed,thebandagedisplaced,theheadadvanced.
“Well,Jane,doyouknowme?”askedthefamiliarvoice.
“Onlytakeofftheredcloak,sir,andthen—““Butthestringisinaknot—helpme.”“Breakit,sir.”
“There,then—‘Off,yelendings!’”AndMr.Rochestersteppedoutofhisdisguise.
“Now,sir,whatastrangeidea!”
“Butwellcarriedout,eh?Don’tyouthinkso?”“Withtheladiesyoumusthavemanagedwell.”“Butnotwithyou?”
“Youdidnotactthecharacterofagipsywithme.”“WhatcharacterdidIact?Myown?”
“No;someunaccountableone.Inshort,Ibelieveyouhavebeentryingtodrawmeout—orin;youhavebeentalkingnonsensetomakemetalknonsense.Itis
scarcelyfair,sir.”
“Doyouforgiveme,Jane?”
341
“IcannottelltillIhavethoughtitallover.If,onreflection,IfindIhavefallenintonogreatabsurdity,Ishalltrytoforgiveyou;butitwasnotright.”
“Oh,youhavebeenverycorrect—verycareful,verysensible.”
Ireflected,andthought,onthewhole,Ihad.Itwasacomfort;but,indeed,Ihadbeenonmyguardalmostfromthebeginningoftheinterview.SomethingofmasqueradeIsuspected.Iknewgipsiesandfortune-tellersdidnotexpressthemselvesasthisseemingoldwomanhadexpressedherself;besidesIhadnotedherfeignedvoice,heranxietytoconcealherfeatures.ButmymindhadbeenrunningonGracePoole—thatlivingenigma,thatmysteryofmysteries,asIconsideredher.IhadneverthoughtofMr.Rochester.
“Well,”saidhe,“whatareyoumusingabout?Whatdoesthatgravesmilesignify?”
“Wonderandself-congratulation,sir.Ihaveyourpermissiontoretirenow,Isuppose?”
“No;stayamoment;andtellmewhatthepeopleinthedrawing-roomyonderaredoing.”
“Discussingthegipsy,Idaresay.”
“Sitdown!—Letmehearwhattheysaidaboutme.”
“Ihadbetternotstaylong,sir;itmustbeneareleveno’clock.Oh,areyouaware,Mr.Rochester,thatastrangerhasarrivedheresinceyouleftthismorning?”
342
“Astranger!—no;whocanitbe?Iexpectednoone;ishegone?”
“No;hesaidhehadknownyoulong,andthathecouldtakethelibertyofinstallinghimselfheretillyoureturned.”
“Thedevilhedid!Didhegivehisname?”
“HisnameisMason,sir;andhecomesfromtheWestIndies;fromSpanishTown,inJamaica,Ithink.”
Mr.Rochesterwasstandingnearme;hehadtakenmyhand,asiftoleadmetoachair.AsIspokehegavemywristaconvulsivegrip;thesmileonhislipsfroze:apparentlyaspasmcaughthisbreath.
“Mason!—theWestIndies!”hesaid,inthetoneonemightfancyaspeakingautomatontoenounceitssinglewords;“Mason!—theWestIndies!”hereiterated;andhewentoverthesyllablesthreetimes,growing,intheintervalsofspeaking,whiterthanashes:hehardly
seemedtoknowwhathewasdoing.
“Doyoufeelill,sir?”Iinquired.
“Jane,I’vegotablow;I’vegotablow,Jane!”Hestaggered.
“Oh,leanonme,sir.”
“Jane,youofferedmeyourshoulderoncebefore;letmehaveitnow.”
“Yes,sir,yes;andmyarm.”
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Hesatdown,andmademesitbesidehim.Holdingmyhandinbothhisown,hechafedit;gazingonme,atthesametime,withthemosttroubledanddrearylook.
“Mylittlefriend!”saidhe,“IwishIwereinaquietislandwithonlyyou;andtrouble,anddanger,andhideousrecollectionsremovedfromme.”
“CanIhelpyou,sir?—I’dgivemylifetoserveyou.”
“Jane,ifaidiswanted,I’llseekitatyourhands;Ipromiseyouthat.”
“Thankyou,sir.Tellmewhattodo,—I’lltry,atleast,todoit.”
“Fetchmenow,Jane,aglassofwinefromthedining-room:theywillbeatsupperthere;andtellmeifMasoniswiththem,andwhatheisdoing.”
Iwent.Ifoundallthepartyinthedining-roomatsupper,asMr.Rochesterhadsaid;theywerenotseatedattable,—thesupperwasarrangedonthesideboard;eachhadtakenwhathechose,andtheystoodabouthereandthereingroups,theirplatesandglassesintheirhands.Everyoneseemedinhighglee;laughterandconversationweregeneralandanimated.Mr.Masonstoodnearth
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