高考沖刺600分英語培優(yōu)計(jì)劃之寫作滿分“5優(yōu)化”講義優(yōu)化點(diǎn)三內(nèi)容比他人豐第1課時(shí)　增加細(xì)節(jié)讓文章豐滿起來

優(yōu)化點(diǎn)三eq\b\lc\|\rc\(\a\vs4\al\co1(,,,,,))內(nèi)容比他人豐正文是文章的核心部分，素有“豬肚美填”之說。詞數(shù)達(dá)標(biāo)、內(nèi)容充實(shí)、結(jié)構(gòu)連貫、語意順暢是五檔作文必不可少的幾大要素。為了不只是簡單地翻譯或者僅僅完成題目所給條目的指定內(nèi)容，為了讓表達(dá)邏輯有序，本部分將從兩方面給予優(yōu)化指導(dǎo)。第1課時(shí)增加細(xì)節(jié)，讓文章豐滿起來在英語書面表達(dá)中，增加細(xì)節(jié)是必不可少的，細(xì)節(jié)可有效串聯(lián)起各個(gè)要點(diǎn)，讓文章顯得豐滿、圓潤，讀起來朗朗上口，不干癟生澀。細(xì)節(jié)是需要構(gòu)思的，細(xì)節(jié)是需要?jiǎng)?chuàng)意的，可嘗試用以下5個(gè)技法來增加細(xì)節(jié)。技法(一)列舉具體的實(shí)例進(jìn)行補(bǔ)充說明(1)我喜歡讀書。Ilikereadingbooks.→Ilikereadingbooks,suchasnovels,shortstories,magazinesandnewspapers.(2)我要花一些時(shí)間和父母在一起。I'llspendsometimestayingwithmyparents.→I'llspendsometimestayingwithmyparents,chattingwiththemanddoingsomehousework.(3)我想找一個(gè)像我一樣喜歡旅行的筆友。I'dliketoseekapenpalwhoisinterestedintravelingjustlikeme.→I'dliketoseekapenpalwhoisinterestedintravelingjustlikeme.Ifpossible,wecantraveltogetherorsharetravelingexperiences.(4)我是一個(gè)充滿活力的健康男孩，所以我非常喜歡體育運(yùn)動(dòng)。IamahealthyboyfullofenergysoIlikesportsverymuch.→IamahealthyboyfullofenergysoIlikesportsverymuch,especiallyoutdooractivities.WheneverIhavetime,I'llgohikingormountainclimbingwithmyclassmates.(5)我看到了一些不良行為。Ifoundsomebadbehavior.→Ifoundsomebadbehavior.Somepeoplescribbledonthewall;someplayedsocceronthelawnandsomethrewrubbisheverywhere.[即時(shí)演練]根據(jù)提示補(bǔ)全句子1．TheInternetisplayingamoreandmoreimportantpartinourdailylife.We_can_not_only_read_news_from_home_and_abroad(我們不僅僅能閱讀國內(nèi)外的新聞),butalsogetinformation,sendemailsandattendon-lineschools.2．LauraisastandardAmericanstyle.She_speaks_perfect_American_English(她說一口完美的美式英語),andthat'swhyIamcrazyabouther.3．However,itseemspeopleareunawareofthenegativeeffectsofmobilephonesonmunication.For_example,_many_people_begin_to_pay_less_and_less_attention_to_face-to-face_munication(比如，很多人開始越來越不重視面對(duì)面的交流)．4．However,everycoinhastwosides,andsodoestheInternet.For_example,_being_lost_in_the_Internet_may_affect_our_study_and_work(比如，沉溺于互聯(lián)網(wǎng)也許會(huì)影響我們的學(xué)習(xí)和工作)．技法(二)增添與所寫信息相關(guān)的神態(tài)、動(dòng)作、心理描寫以及背景渲染等內(nèi)容(1)我有時(shí)去村西的小河游泳。Igoswimmingintheriverofthewestofthevillagenowandthen.→Igoswimmingintheriverofthewestofthevillagenowandthen.Thewaterintheriverisveryclear.(背景渲染)→Weatherpermitting,Igoswimmingintheriverofthewestofthevillagenowandthen.(相關(guān)背景)(2)旅行了一周后，他回到了家。Afteraweek'strip,hereturnedhome.→Afteraweek'strip,hereturnedhome,tiredbutveryhappy.(心理描寫)[即時(shí)演練]根據(jù)提示補(bǔ)全句子1．Considering_the_activity_is_of_great_value/is_very_meaningful(考慮到這項(xiàng)活動(dòng)很有意義),weintendtodesignauniformsuitedtoourownclass.2．I'lltrymybesttomakeyourunclehappyhere.I_am_eagerly_looking_forward_to_his_visit_to_our_city(我熱切地期盼著他來我們城市參觀)．3．Atthatmoment,Ibecamethefocusofthewholeclassandwas_full_of_great_pride_and_confidence(充滿了自豪和自信)．4．Finally,Iwouldliketoaskafewquestionsabouthispersonallife,which_must_be_very_interesting(這一定很有趣)．技法(三)增加相關(guān)信息的時(shí)間、地點(diǎn)等內(nèi)容(1)我要和父母一起去超市購物。I'mgoingtodosomeshoppingwithmyparentsinthesupermarket.→I'mgoingtodosomeshoppingwithmyparentsinthesupermarketandwon'tbebackuntilabout5：00intheafternoon.(增加時(shí)間)(2)我已經(jīng)帶來了你讓我歸還的這兩本書。Ihavetakenwithmethetwobooksyouaskedmetoreturn.→IhavetakenwithmethetwobooksyouaskedmetoreturntotheCityLibrary.(增加地點(diǎn))[即時(shí)演練]根據(jù)提示補(bǔ)全句子1．Several_minutes_passed(幾分鐘過去了)butthewholeclasswasinpletesilence.2．TheChineseSilkRoad,which_starts_from_today's_Xi'an_and_finally_finishes_at_the_east_coast_of(起源于今天的西安，并最后到達(dá)……的東海岸)theMediterranean,iswell-knowntotheworld.3．Iwasattractedbythebeautyofthecitythe_moment/the_minute/immediately/as_soon_as/directly(一……就……)Iarrivedhereat6：00o'clockinthemorningbyplane.技法(四)適當(dāng)增加與所給信息相關(guān)的原因、結(jié)果、條件、讓步、手段、目的等內(nèi)容(1)假定你是李華，你的英國筆友Henry最近來信詢問你高考后的暑假安排。請(qǐng)根據(jù)下面要點(diǎn)寫一封回信，說明你的計(jì)劃，并簡述理由。1.休息、讀書；2.參加社會(huì)活動(dòng)。①Ineedagoodrest.I'lldosomereading.→IneedagoodrestbecauseIdofeeltiredafterthehardworkofalltheseyears.Ofcourse,I'lldosomereadingforfun,andforknowledgeaswell.(因果關(guān)系)②I'lltakepartinsomesocialactivities.→IfIhavefreetime,I'lltakepartinsomesocialactivities.(條件狀語)→Ifpossible,I'lltakepartinsomesocialactivities.(條件狀語)→Ifpossible,I'lltakepartinsomesocialactivitiessothat/inorderthatIcanknowmoreaboutthesociety.(目的狀語)(2)Tracy來：咖啡屋(BoltonCoffee)見面取消。Tracycalled,sayingthatshecouldn'tmeetyouatBoltonCoffee.→Tracycalled,sayingthatshecouldn'tmeetyouatBoltonCoffeeasshehadsomethingimportanttodo.(原因狀語)(3)我也幫助鄰里的孩子補(bǔ)習(xí)英語。IalsohelpedchildrenintheneighborhoodwiththeirEnglishlessons.→IalsohelpedchildrenintheneighborhoodwiththeirEnglishlessons.Tomyjoy,theymaderapidprogressandtheirparentsthoughthighlyofme.(增添結(jié)果)[即時(shí)演練]根據(jù)提示補(bǔ)全句子1．Wewerehappyandreturnedhomeafter_we_had_finished_collecting_all_the_rubbish(我們撿完所有的垃圾之后)．2．Weoftenjoininmanyactivitiesin_order_to_municate_with_other_students_and_broaden_our_horizons(目的是和其他同學(xué)交流并開闊我們的視野)．3．Although_the_answer_seemed_a_little_strange(盡管答案似乎有些奇怪),nobodybutIdoubtedit.4．As_is_known_to_all_of_us(眾所周知),EarthHourisanactivitywhichaimsatsavingenergy.技法(五)結(jié)尾適當(dāng)發(fā)揮，寫出個(gè)人感受、評(píng)價(jià)、希望、倡議等①AlthoughIwasverytiredthissummerholiday,IfeltveryhappyforwhatIdid.(個(gè)人感受)②Ithinksuchactivitiesarenecessaryandmeaningful.(評(píng)價(jià))③Inaword,ifshewouldliketolearnChinese,Ihopeshewilldoitwell.(希望)④Asastudent,it'sourduty