高考英語專項復習之讀后續(xù)寫：個人成長類-丟手機的孩子抓住機會成長變化

讀后續(xù)寫：個人成長類--丟手機的孩子，抓住機會成長變化

讀后續(xù)寫

第二節(jié)（滿分25分）2024學年第一學期浙南名校聯(lián)盟第一次高三聯(lián)考

閱讀下面材料，根據其內容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構成一篇完整的短文。

Ava,afifth-grader,longedforacellphonelikeherpeersbuthadtowaituntilshewas

thirteen.Topersuadeherparents,shepennedanessay,demonstratingshewasmatureenough

foracellphone.Herparents,impressed,gaveheranoldphone.

"Ava,"herdadsaidseriously,/zacellphoneisn'tjustforfunandgames.It'sasignificant

responsibility.Youmustkeepyourphonesecure.Youmustsilenceitinpublicspaces.You

must...”Helistedallofthewaysthatshehadtoberesponsiblewithherphone.ButAva,too

busywithchoosingtheperfectwallpaper,downloadingappsandchattingwithherbestfriend

Sarah,onlyhalf-listened.

Overtheweekend,Sarah'smomtookthegirlstoamovie.NormallyAvaavoidedhorror

films,butSarah'spleadingwordswithfunnymemes（表情包）hadsomehowconvincedAvathat

themoviemightactuallybeenjoyable.Beforethemoviestarted,Sarah'smominstructedthe

girlstosilencetheirphonesoutofrespectforothers.Asthemovie'stensionbuilt,Avafound

herselfgrowingincreasinglyuncomfortable.zzlneedtogotothebathroom/'Avawhisperedto

Sarah.

Afterthemovie,whilewaitingforSarah'smomtofetchthecar,Avafeltasinkingfeeling.a\

can'tfindmyphone!”sheshrieked,pattingdownallofherpockets.Panic-stricken,Ava

searchedherbag,yetherphoneseemedtohavevanished.Avagotintothecar,herstomachin

knots.

“Areyougoingtotellyourparents?"SarahwhisperedtoAvaontheirrideback.Avawas

silent,hermindracingwiththeconsequences.Shecouldenvisionherparents'disappointed

facesandharshwords.Shefearedthatthisincidentmightleadtoherparentstakingawaythe

privilegeofhavingaphonealtogether

Astheyarrived,Avaclimbedoutofthecarandtrudgedhome,herheartheavywithwhat

hadhappened.

注意：

1.續(xù)寫詞數應為150左右：

2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應位置作答。

Paragraph1:ThemomentAvawalkedin,herparentsgreetedherwithasmile.

Paragraph2:ThenherparentsdroveAvabacktothecinema.

析?重視原文的素材整理

01原文精致賞析，必須積累素材

原文分析：紅色定從/定語；藍色賓從；黃色狀從，只標連詞；下劃線標黃單詞為需掌握積

累單詞；從句類會用別於標注；需積累都分黑體加粗下劃線、（定語從句1）

第二節(jié)（滿分25分）

閱讀下面材料，根據其內容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構成一篇完整的短文。

Ava,afifth-grader,longedforacellphonelikeherpeersbuthadtowaituntilshewas

thirteen（狀從）.Topersuadeherparents,shepennedcmess。%demonstratinjshewasmature

enoughforace〃p/）oae（非謂語動詞短語+賓從做伴隨動作）.Herparents,impressed,gaveher

anoldphone.

“Ava,"herdadsaidseriously,/zacellphoneisn'tjustforfunandgames.Itsasignificant

responsibility.Youmustkeepyourphonesecure.Youmustsilenceitinpublicspaces.You

must..."Helistedallofthewaysthatshehadtoberesponsiblewith/7urp6oae（定語從句）.But

Ava,toobusywithchoosingtheperfectwallpaper,downloadingappsandchattingwithherbest

friendSarah,onlyhalf-listened（此處不是句子、是主語的補充說明）.

Overtheweekend,Sarah'smomtookthegirlstoamovie.NormallyAvaavoidedhorror

films,butSarah'spleadinawordswithfunnymemes（表情包）hadsomehowconvincedAvathat

themoviemightactuallybeenjoyable.Beforethemoviestarted,Sarah'smominstructedthe

girlstosilencetheirphonesoutofrespectforothers.Asthemovie/stension狀語從句），

Avafoundherselfarowinaincreasinqlv非謂語動詞）“Ineedtogotothe

bathroom,“AvawhisperedtoSarah.

Afterthemovie,whilewaitingforSarah'smomtofetchthecar（狀從的省略）,Avafelta

sinkinafeelina."Ican'tfindmyphone!”sheshrieked,pattinadownallofherpockets（mE謂語

動詞做伴隨動作）.Panic-stricken,Avasearchedherbag,yetherphoneseemedtohave

vanished.Avagotintothecar,herstomachinkr70ns（獨立主格）.

“Areyougoingtotellyourparents?"SarahwhisperedtoAvaontheirrideback.Avawas

silent,hermindracinawiththe（?0〃5￡。1/6〃「2$（獨立主格）.Shecouldenvisionherparents/

disappointedfacesandharshwords.Shefearedthatthisincidentmightleadtoherparents

takingawaytheprivilegeofhavingaphonealtogether］賓從）

Astheyarrived（狀閃,Avaclimbedoutofthecarandtrudaedherheartbeai/ywith

whathad6aMe（獨立主格+賓從）.

02原文所涉及的高中語法現象

語法現象：

-時態(tài)使用：全篇以一般過去時描述過去發(fā)生的事件，并用一般現在時表達普遍事實，

如掌握時態(tài)切換與一致性對高考英語閱讀和寫作

"Acellphoneisn'tjustforfunandgames."0

都很重要。

-從句：文中有許多賓語從句，^rr"Avafoundherselfgrowingincreasinglyuncomfortable"

中的“自己越來越不安〃的發(fā)現表述；"SarahwhisperedtoAvaontheirrideback”中“在回程中

悄悄告訴她〃的句式等。

-情態(tài)動詞：如"must"表示責任感，強調手機的使用規(guī)則；"might”表示不確定性和對電

影的期待。

-非限定動詞結構:如"tosilencetheirphones"表明要"把手機調成靜音〃;"choosingthe

perfectwallpaper〃表達進行的動作，用作描述。

03原文中涉及的詞匯整理

常見搭配：

-longfor+名詞：表示對某事的渴望。如"Avalongedforacellphonelikeherpeers”。

-asinkingfeeling:指內心的一種不祥之感，適合表達心情起伏。

-patdown/searchpockets/bags:指對物品的尋找。

-trudgehome:指在疲憊或心情沉重下走回家。

可積累的詞語短語：

-demonstrate*(v.)*表達，展示

-近義詞：show,illustrate

-反義詞：hide,conceal

-例句：Shedemonstratedherabilitytohandleresponsibility./Theexperimentdemonstrated

thenewmethod'seffectiveness.

-convince*(v.)*使信服

-近義詞：persuade,assure

-反義詞：discourage,dissuade

-例句:Herwordsconvincedhimtojointheteam./Theyfinallyconvincedheroftheir

sincerity.

-significant*(adj.)*重大的，有意義的

-近義詞：important,meaningful

-反義詞：trivial,insignificant

-例句：Thisisasignificantmomentinhislife./Herdecisionhadasignificantimpactonthe

outcome.

-responsibility*(n.)*責任

-近義詞：duty,obligation

-反義詞：irresponsibility,neglect

-例句：Responsibilitycomeswithtrust./Hehasaresponsibilitytohisfamily.

續(xù)寫思路的構建和思考

01構思的步驟

在完成讀后續(xù)寫時，要先思考文章的情節(jié)發(fā)展與情感主線，本文中Ava丟失手機后可能

產生的心理變化和行動可以作為續(xù)寫的重點。

構思步驟：

1.情節(jié)推演：想象Ava回家后是否會告訴父母？她如何面對父母的反應？

2.心理描寫：Ava的內心掙扎和壓力，可以通過細膩的內心描寫表現出她對父母失望的恐

懼。

3.情感升華：續(xù)寫可以加入她因誤解或自責而成長的心路歷程，最終可能主動承擔責任或

重新贏得父母的信任。

02實施要點

實施要點：

-情緒表達：善于使用情緒性詞匯，比如"nervous,”"regretful,”"conflicted”來展現心理過程。

-關鍵動詞：用"confess,""admit,""reveal”等表示坦白的詞。

-環(huán)境渲染：用“silencefilledtheroom”表現緊張氣氛，"thecomfortingglowofhomelights”

呈現家庭溫暖。

03情緒、動作、心理和環(huán)境描寫的推薦短語

-情緒:anxioussmile,heavy-hearted,amixtureoffearandhope

-動作:hesitatedbeforeknocking,slowlyapproached,nervouslyglancedaround

-心理：asurgeofguilt,tornbetweenhonestyandfear,mentallypreparingfortheworst

-環(huán)境：dimlylithallway,thequiethumofthecar,distantlaughterechoingfromthestreet

續(xù)寫范文欣賞及分析

開放式續(xù)寫練習及語法點分析、思路分析

AsAvaslowlyopenedthefrontdoor（狀從），shecouldfeelherheartpoundina.

Shewantedtoconfessaboutthelostphonebutdreadedherparents'reaction.

Wit/）ste。,herauiltgrewheavier.Finally,hermothernoticedher

unusuallyquietdemeanorandaskedgently,"Honey,iseverythingokay?"

/i/alookeddown,tomeethermover'sryes（形容詞短語做補語）.

Afterabriefoause,shemurmured,"Mom,I...Ilostthephone.I'msosorry."Her

wordstumb/edout,filledwithrearetandwo/r，（filled非謂語動詞做后置定

語）."Iwascareless,andIdidn'tlistentoDad'sadvice.Kmreally,reallysorry."

Hermothor'sexoressjonsoftened,andshe。/creedacomfort/皿hando/i

Ava'ss力ou/der?"Thankyoufortellingusthetruth//shesaid.Ava'sdad,who

hadoverheard（是從joinedthem.Thouqhhisfaceshowedahintof

如。。。。用1/7?6/?七（狀從）,hemanaaedareass人"皿sm〃e.

“Wetrustedyouwithaphonebecausewebelievedyouwerereadyforthe

responsibility（賓以）.Mistakeshappen,andwhat'simportant（主從）isthatyou

learnfromthisexperience（表從）；'hesaidgently.

Avafeltealimmerofreliefbutalsoareneweddetermination.Shepromised

tobemoreresponsibleinthefutureandtookextrachorestosaveupand

eventuallyreplacethelostphone.Overtime,herparentssawherovowM。sense

ofresponsibility,andmonthslater,onherbirthday,theysuco/7sedherwitho

new0

Thistime,however,Avamadesuretofolloweveryruleherparentshad

set■（表從）.Shekeptherphonesecure,silenceditwhennecesrary,andhandled

itwithcare.Throughthisexperience,Avalearnedthatresponsibilitywasn/tjust

aboutowningsomething,butaboutrespectingherparents/trustandherown

commitments.

1.賓語從句

-句型示例："Iwascareless,andIdidn'tlistentoDad'sadvice."

-分析：賓語從句用作動詞的補充說明，如"listentoDad'sadvice〃作為

“didnf的賓語。

2.非限制性定語從句

-句型示例:"Hermother,whohadoverheard,joinedthem."

-分析：“whohadoverheard”作為定語修飾mother,提供補充信息。

3.動名詞作主語

一句型示例:"Mistakeshappen,andwhat'simportantisthatyoulearnfrom

thisexperience."

-分析：動名詞短語“l(fā)earnfromthisexperience”作為句子補充，強調經歷對

成長的重要性。

4.不定式作賓語補足語

-句型示例："Theybelievedyouwerereadyfortheresponsibility."

-分析：“tobereadyfor”用作"believed”的賓語補足語，表明信任。

常見搭配與可積累語料

1.Feelone'sheartpounding-形容緊張和內疚感

-例句：Asheapproachedthestage,hecouldfeelhisheartpounding.

-例句：Thenewsmadeherheartpoundwithexcitement.

2.Makeapromisetodo-承諾做某事

-例句：Shemadeapromisetoherselftoworkharder.

-例句：Hepromisedtobemorecarefulnexttime.

3.Throughthisexperience-表示通過某經歷學到某事

-例句：Throughthisexperience,helearnedthevalueofpatience.

-例句：Shematuredalotthroughthisexperience.

生詞短語

1.Responsibility

-詞，性：noun

-詞義：責任

-近義詞：duty,accountability

-反義詞：irresponsibility,neglect

-例句：Takingcareofapetisabigresponsibility.

-例句：Heacceptsresponsibilityforhisactions.

2.Determine

-詞性:verb

-詞義：決心，決定

-近義詞：resolve,decide

-反義詞：hesitate,doubt

-例句：Shedeterminedtoimprovehergradesthissemester.

-例句：Aftercarefulthought,hedeterminedtochangehiscareerpath.

3.Relief

-詞性：noun

-詞義：寬慰，解脫

-近義詞：comfort,consolation

反義詞：distress,anxiety

-例句：Hefeltahugereliefafterthetestwasover.

-例句：Herwordsbroughthimgreatrelief.

4.Significant

-詞，性：adjective

-詞義：重要的，顯著的

-近義詞：importan3noteworthy

-反義詞：insignificant,trivial