2025【寒假伴學(xué)營】高三英語專項(xiàng)專題12讀后續(xù)寫十句五定法寫大綱+四步設(shè)計(jì)補(bǔ)全情節(jié)含答案及解析

專題12讀后續(xù)寫十句五定法寫大綱+四步設(shè)計(jì)補(bǔ)全情節(jié)一、兩段十句五定法的思路Para1.Para2.定句1:銜接提示句--心理/動作鏈定句6:銜接提示句--心理/動作鏈句2:句7:句3:句8：句4:定句9:緊貼原文，交代結(jié)局定句5:過渡到P2首句定句10:點(diǎn)睛其中第一段中的句1與句5，第二段中的句1，句4和句5共五句話基本是固定的，其他的句子安排根據(jù)具體情況可作輕微調(diào)整?！?023年新高考全國Ⅰ&II卷】WhenIwasinmiddleschool,mysocialstudiesteacheraskedmetoenterawritingcontest.Isaidnowithoutthinking.Ididnotlovewriting.MyfamilycamefromBrazil,soEnglishwasonlymysecondlanguage.WritingwassodifficultandpainfulformethatmyteacherhadallowedmetopresentmypaperonthesinkingoftheTitanicbyactingoutaplay,whereIplayedalltheparts.Noonelaughedharderthanhedid.So,whydidhesuddenlyforcemetodosomethingatwhichIwassuretofail?Hisreply:“BecauseIloveyourstories.Ifyou’rewillingtoapplyyourself,Ithinkyouhaveagoodshotatthis.”Encouragedbyhiswords,Iagreedtogiveitatry.IchosePaulRevere’shorseasmysubject.PaulReverewasasilversmith(銀匠)inBostonwhorodeahorseatnightonApril18,1775toLexingtontowarnpeoplethatBritishsoldierswerecoming.Mystorywouldcomestraightfromthehorse’smouth.Notabrilliantidea,butfunny;andunlikelytobeanyoneelse’schoice.Whatdidthehorsethink,ashespedthroughthenight?Didhegettired?Havedoubts?Didhewanttoquit?Isympathizedimmediately.Igottired.Ihaddoubts.Iwantedtoquit.But,likeRevere’shorse,Ikeptgoing.Iworkedhard.Icheckedmyspelling.Iaskedmyoldersistertocorrectmygrammar.IcheckedoutahalfdozenbooksonPaulReverefromthelibrary.Ievenreadafewofthem.WhenIhandedintheessaytomyteacher,hereadit,laughedoutloud,andsaid,“Great.Now,writeitagain.”Iwroteitagain,andagainandagain.WhenIfinallyfinishedit,thethoughtofwinninghadgivenwaytotheenjoymentofwriting.IfIdidn’twin,Iwouldn’tcare.注意:1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150個(gè)左右；2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。Afewweekslater,whenIalmostforgotthecontest,therecamethenews.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Iwenttomyteacher’sofficeaftertheawardpresentation.________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________文章主要講述一個(gè)學(xué)生參加了一個(gè)寫作比賽并獲獎(jiǎng)的故事。兩句提示分別如下：Para.1

Afewweekslater,whenIalmostforgotthecontest,

therecamethenews.Para.2

Iwenttomyteacher'sofficeafter

theaward

presentation.根據(jù)這兩句話可以基本定位，第一段講自己聽到比賽獲勝消息后的場景，第二段寫將這個(gè)好消息與老師分享。因此大致思路會如下列出：Para.1句1：銜接-

令我意外的是，我在這個(gè)寫作比賽中榮獲了第一名。句2：主角動作+心理：我欣喜不已。句3：配角動作+心理：我的老師為我感到驕傲句4：主角動作+心理：感謝老師。句5：銜接Para.2:參加頒獎(jiǎng)典禮。Para.2句1：銜接：老師在等我。句2：主角動作+心理：再次感謝老師句3：配角動作+心理：老師恭喜并激勵(lì)我句4：交代結(jié)局：我愛上了寫作。句5：點(diǎn)睛：老師的信任與激勵(lì)成就了我的今天。這兩個(gè)場景其實(shí)具有很大的相似性，區(qū)分在于一個(gè)溝通是遠(yuǎn)距離的，一個(gè)是面對面的。在打好大綱后，會擴(kuò)句是寫漂亮的必備條件。Para.1句1：銜接-令我意外的是，我在這個(gè)寫作比賽中榮獲了第一名。Tomysurprise,

Iwonthefirstplaceinthecontest.

或WhatsurprisedmemostwasthatIwonthefirstplaceinthecontest.

句2：我欣喜不已Informedofthegoodnews,Iwasveryhappy.

擴(kuò)句：將心理描寫換成其他高級表達(dá)。Informedofthegoodnews,a

waveofdelighttaking

holdofme,

joydancedallthewaytomyheart.句3：我的老師為我感到驕傲。My

teacherfeltproudofme.

擴(kuò)句：加入銜接NosoonerhadI

putdownthecallthanI

calledmyteachertosharethegoodnews,whofelt

extremelyproudofme.

(句式:nosoonerhad+主+done...than...一...就...)句4：主角動作+心理：感謝老師。Ithanked

him

forallthehelphehadoffered.

擴(kuò)句：套用應(yīng)用文感謝信的寫法(withoutone'shelp,...wouldn'thavedone...)Ithankedhimforallthehelphehadoffered,withoutwhichIwouldn'thaveachievedsuchabigsuccess.句5：銜接Para.2:參加頒獎(jiǎng)典禮。Finallycametheaward

presentationday.擴(kuò)句：加入在頒獎(jiǎng)典禮上會做的事情。Finallycametheawardpresentationday,whenIgratefullydeliveredaspeech

withexcitement.

Para.2句1：銜接：老師在等我。Myteacherwaswaitingforme.擴(kuò)句：增加動作與神情描寫。When

Iopenedthedoor,Ifoundmyteacherwaswaitingforme,whoseface

wasglowinglikeadiamond.

句2：主角動作+心理：再次感謝老師I

expressedmygratitudeagaintohim.擴(kuò)句：加入動作與眼神Lookingintohiseyes,

Iexpressedmy

heartfelt

gratitudeagaintohim,

withtears

mistingmy

eyes.

句3：配角動作+心理：老師恭喜并激勵(lì)我Hedeliveredhiscongratulationstome

andencouragedme.

擴(kuò)句：動作拆成三連，加入神情。He

patted

mybacksoftly,deliveredhiscongratulationstomeagainandencouragedmewith

pride,smileonhisfacelightingupthewholeroom.

句4：交代結(jié)局：我愛上了寫作。Fromthenon,Ifellinlovewith

writing.擴(kuò)句：補(bǔ)充點(diǎn)內(nèi)容。Fromthenon,Ifellinlovewithwriting,whoisnowafamouswriterwithhundredsofworks.

句5：點(diǎn)睛：老師的信任與激勵(lì)成就了我的今天。It'smyteacher's

trustandencouragementthatcontributes

toallmy

achievementstoday.

擴(kuò)句：套用個(gè)“我相信”的句式.Iholdthefirmbeliefthatit'smyteacher'strustandencouragementthat

contributestoallmyachievementstoday.

注意續(xù)寫時(shí)以第一人稱描寫的文章，其他人物的心理活動不能直接描寫，只能通過神情、動作與眼神表達(dá)。所以這篇文章中，心理描寫只有作者，老師的心理通過動作與神情傳達(dá)。另外，若想作文獲得相對高的分?jǐn)?shù)，要盡可能的避免寫對話描寫。Onepossibleversion:Afewweekslater,whenIalmostforgotthecontest,therecamethenews.IwasinformedthatIwonthefirstprizeinthewritingcontestandthattherewouldbeanawardpresentationintwodays.IwassohappytohearthenewsthatIimmediatelyshareditwithmyteacher.“Iknewyou’dwin!Iamproudofyou.Youmadeit!”hesaidexcitedly.Thencamethebigday.WhenIwasinvitedtothestagetoreceivetheaward,Iexpressedmythankstomyteacher.Isaid,“It’syouwhomakemefallinlovewithwriting,mysocialstudiesteacher.Withoutyourrecognitionandguidance,Icouldn’thavewrittenthisarticle.Againthankyouverymuch!”Iwenttomyteacher’sofficeaftertheawardpresentation.Myteacherwaswaitingforme.Holdingmyhands,hesaid“Congratulations!Youareagoodwriter,sokeepwriting.”“YouknowIdidn’tlikewritingbefore,butnowIamcrazyaboutit!Iwilltrymybesttocreategoodworks.”Isaidseriously.Sincethen,IhavewrittenmanygoodworksandnowIamafamouswriter.Iowemysuccesstomysocialteacherwhoisabeaconinmylifeontheroadtowriting.二、NSDD四步設(shè)計(jì)補(bǔ)全情節(jié)“NSDD”:N需求D困難+S方法+D結(jié)局“評卷員說”情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)原則優(yōu)先等級:簡單·穩(wěn)妥>緊湊>豐富>故事性情節(jié)構(gòu)思-“需求法”(NSDD)(1)N需求+D困難+S方法+D結(jié)局(2)歷年真題，情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)分析3.情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)素材:原文三處(1)串聯(lián)大意5W1H+P1P2首句，定事件走向，(2)劃關(guān)鍵詞(角色特點(diǎn)、關(guān)鍵情節(jié))(3)各類描寫占比，學(xué)寫比例與其一致2.“聽評卷人說”評卷標(biāo)準(zhǔn)1.“語法、時(shí)態(tài)、拼寫、標(biāo)點(diǎn)、大小寫、敘述連貫性等方面的錯(cuò)誤率都與學(xué)生讀后續(xù)寫的成績存在不同程度的正相關(guān)性?！?.“普遍存在情節(jié)不嚴(yán)密，詞匯較低級，句式變化少等情況”3.“...續(xù)寫內(nèi)容要與原文融洽，連貫...”4.“閱卷實(shí)際操作評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，主要依據(jù)為是否有正確的句子，原則上就高不就低。20分:內(nèi)容通順，細(xì)節(jié)比較多，允許些許錯(cuò)誤。18分:內(nèi)容通順，細(xì)節(jié)少些，語言有些許錯(cuò)誤。15分:內(nèi)容可讀，語言錯(cuò)誤多。10分:內(nèi)容基本完整，基本沒什么完整的句子。3.續(xù)寫情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)，優(yōu)先順序原則:“嚴(yán)密、融洽、連貫.簡單·穩(wěn)妥>緊湊>豐富>故事性(優(yōu)先)(重要)(挑戰(zhàn))(嘗試)總結(jié):情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)的任務(wù)為:簡單穩(wěn)妥其他維度可通過詞匯、句式、連接詞、各類描寫來實(shí)現(xiàn)；緊湊型:情節(jié)推進(jìn)+連接成分(邏輯連詞+副詞+介詞短語)；豐富性:各類描寫、詞匯、句式；故事性:多讀英語小故事，了解文化，熟悉常見情節(jié)【讀原文:5WP1P2+角色特點(diǎn)+描寫占比】第一件事:串聯(lián)首尾段5W1H+P1P2給定句，定事件走向(1)讀首段得知:人物+大致事件(2)讀尾段得知:具體事件+態(tài)度(列出所有角色)(3)讀P1P2給定句得知:故事結(jié)局走向2.第二件事:劃出關(guān)鍵詞(角色特點(diǎn)、關(guān)鍵情節(jié))(1)劃出角色相關(guān)描寫(adj/v/n):用來續(xù)寫角色，改寫關(guān)鍵詞;(2)劃出矛盾/需求，關(guān)鍵情節(jié):用來續(xù)寫情節(jié)，甚至是“升華”。3.觀察各類描寫占比，續(xù)寫比例與其一致(1)看各類描寫:續(xù)寫時(shí)盡量占比一致；(2)語法句式:盡量保持一致，也可模仿好句；(3)占比多的描寫:關(guān)鍵所在，決定情節(jié)走向。構(gòu)思前:讀原文3件事(5WP1P2+角色+描寫)Who關(guān)鍵詞動作：v情緒/心理：adj.特點(diǎn)：n./phrase角色1角色2角色3What關(guān)鍵詞P1P2關(guān)鍵句3W1H故事情節(jié):shortstoryplotsStoryElementsStoryelementsarethepieces,oringredientsthatwhenputtogethermakeupanarrativestory.Identifyingandrememberingstoryelementswillhelpyouunderstandastorybetter.StoryElementscharacters:people/animalsinthestorySetting:when/wherethestorytakesplaceProblem:theconflictormainproblemthatthecharactershaveSolution:howtheproblemissolved續(xù)寫情節(jié)構(gòu)思:需求法(NSDD)Needs需求→Difficulty困難、障礙→Solution行動、方法→Denouement結(jié)局(需求解決)續(xù)寫情節(jié)構(gòu)思:需求法(NSDD)---線索Needs(需求)重點(diǎn)看:首尾段+P1P2給定句2.也可理解為:寫作者要寫到的內(nèi)容Difficulties(困難)設(shè)置困難，原文找沖突、障礙(5W1H+角色特點(diǎn))Solutions(方法)1.大轉(zhuǎn)機(jī):通常在P1/P2首句2.原文:所有角色/事物Denouement(結(jié)局)1.需求被解決(符合價(jià)值觀結(jié)局)2.升華感悟(按需要來寫)【歷年真題情節(jié):需求-被解決】年份主題需求Needs結(jié)局Denouement困難Difficulties方法和媒介Solutions2024.全國I&II卷陌生司機(jī)相助錢包丟失需要錢再次去老地方感謝無法支付車費(fèi)陌生司機(jī)的信任讓我感激2023.6全國I&II卷老師鼓勵(lì)“我”參加寫作比賽寫作不是我的強(qiáng)項(xiàng)寫作比賽獲獎(jiǎng)無數(shù)次修改稿件老師的鼓勵(lì)讓我終身難忘2023.6全國浙江卷救下一只蜂鳥蜂鳥被困廢棄房屋中蜂鳥記得再次相見的我人與自然的和諧相處源于救助2022.6全國I&II卷殘疾孩子參加越野跑比賽比賽前信心動搖堅(jiān)持完成比賽學(xué)生喪失信心老師的鼓勵(lì)讓他堅(jiān)持完成比賽2021.6全國I&II卷母親節(jié)驚喜做早餐不會做，廚房亂爸爸幫忙父親的辛勞和擔(dān)心，觸動了我【2020年浙江卷】寫作思路點(diǎn)撥N需求:首尾1-2段+P1/P2給定句->脫險(xiǎn):對抗熊30分鐘->我們:拍照->熊:吃到食物S方法:P1/P2給定句+角色事物->等直升機(jī)->Ei11行動->噴霧+面包D結(jié)局:需求解決+呼應(yīng)原文->脫險(xiǎn):登直升機(jī)->我們拍照->熊沖破柵欄吃食物【最大化利用原文，情節(jié)僅需補(bǔ)2-3句】N需求:脫險(xiǎn)，對抗熊30分鐘;驚險(xiǎn)時(shí)刻(線索在:首尾段+P1/P2給定句)D困難:熊兇猛;武器只能用普通物品(線索在:5W1H+角色特點(diǎn))S方法:等直升機(jī);Ei11行動;噴客+面包(線索在:P1/P2給定句+角色事物)D結(jié)局:登機(jī)脫險(xiǎn);熊破柵欄吃食物;我拍照(線索在:需求解決+呼應(yīng)原文)P1:Afewminuteslater,thebearheadedbacktoourcamp.P2:Atthatverymoment,thehelicopterarrived.1.接著P1(心理/動作鏈)--意識到噴霧無用，熊更兇狠6.接著P2(心理/動作鏈)2.我害怕，不知咋辦7.登直升機(jī)脫險(xiǎn)3.其他噴霧+扔面包8.俯瞰營地，發(fā)現(xiàn)驚人一幕4.行動有用，熊跑去吃面包9.結(jié)局(需求解決)--熊終于沖破柵欄吃食物5.根據(jù)P2--熊吃完又折回，驚險(xiǎn)時(shí)刻10.升華(歸類+總結(jié)共性）--我拍照，心想:“熊得逞了”O(jiān)nepossibleversionPl:Afewminuteslater,thebearheadedbacktoourcamp.Thenwerealizedthatthesprayhadonlyangeredhimevenmore,forheseemedmuchfiercerthistimeandviolentlypushedthefencelikemad.Myheartracedwildly,notknowingwhattodo.Atthiscriticalmoment,Elligrabbedseveralpiecesofgarlicbreadandthrewthemoverthefence.Itworked!Thebearstoppedtheattackandrantothebread.Butitwasn'tlongbeforeheateupallthebreadandcamebackagain.P2:Atthatverymoment,thehelicopter.arrived,"Thankgoodnesswearesaved!"Ellicriedout.Oncethehelicopterlanded,wegotontoitinnotime,excitedandrelieved.Whenweweresafeonthehelicopterupintheair,Iwasamazedtospotthatthebearhadfinallytorndownthefenceandrantowardsthefoodweleftbehind.Iquicklytookoutthecameraandphotographedtherarescene-wewererobbedbyapolarbear!【遼寧省2024-2025學(xué)年高三上學(xué)期10月大聯(lián)考】InabusystreetofNewYorkCity,twostrangers,EmilyandJack,foundthemselvesonanunexpectedjourneyofkindnessandconnection.Emily,ayounggraphic(圖案的)designer,washurryinghomeafteralate-nightshiftwhensheaccidentallydroppedherbag,scattering(散落)itscontentsontothesidewalk.Thescattereditemswereherworklaptop,herlatestdesigndrawings,hermother'smedicationandsomeotherthingsthatwerecrucialtoEmily.Thewindwassostrongthatitcouldhaveblownherbelongingsawayatanymoment.Tiredout,shekneltdown,tryingtogatherherscatteredbelongings.Justthen,Jack,amiddle-agedmanwithagentlesmile,approachedher.“Letmehelpyouwiththat,”Jackoffered,hisvoicewarmandreassuring.“Oh,thankyousomuch!”Emilyrepliedwithembarrassment.Astheypickeduptheitemstogether,theystruckupaconversation.Emilysharedherstoryofabusyweek,mentioninghowhermotherhadalwaysbeenapillar(支柱)ofsupportforherandherten-year-oldsistersincetheirfather'searlypassing,asourceofunconditionalloveandwisdomthathadshapedtheirlives.Jack,inturn,talkedabouthisrecentretirementandhisdreamsofhostinghisownphotographyexhibition,showcasingthebeautyhehadcapturedthroughhiscameraovertheyears.Suddenly,Emily'sphonerang.Itwashersister,panic-stricken,informingherthattheirmotherneededimmediatemedicalattention.Emily'sfacepaled,andherhandsstartedtoshake.Jackasked,“Iseverythingalright?”“Mymother...sheneedsme,butIdon'tknowhowtogettothehospitalquickly.Ihavenocar.”Emilysaid,tearswellingupinhereyes.Withouthesitation,Jacksaid,“I'lltakeyouthere.Mycarisparkednearby.”Whentheyarrivedatthehospital,JackinsistedonstayinguntilEmily'smotherwasstabilized.Weekslater,Emily'smothermadeafullrecovery.WantingtorepayJack'skindness,Emilydecidedtodosomethingforhisdream.注意：1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150個(gè)左右：2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。Then,EmilyrangupJackwithaproposal.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Emilyspentcountlesshoursworkingontheexhibition.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

專題12讀后續(xù)寫十句五定法寫大綱+四步設(shè)計(jì)補(bǔ)全情節(jié)一、兩段十句五定法的思路Para1.Para2.定句1:銜接提示句--心理/動作鏈定句6:銜接提示句--心理/動作鏈句2:句7:句3:句8：句4:定句9:緊貼原文，交代結(jié)局定句5:過渡到P2首句定句10:點(diǎn)睛其中第一段中的句1與句5，第二段中的句1，句4和句5共五句話基本是固定的，其他的句子安排根據(jù)具體情況可作輕微調(diào)整?！?023年新高考全國Ⅰ&II卷】WhenIwasinmiddleschool,mysocialstudiesteacheraskedmetoenterawritingcontest.Isaidnowithoutthinking.Ididnotlovewriting.MyfamilycamefromBrazil,soEnglishwasonlymysecondlanguage.WritingwassodifficultandpainfulformethatmyteacherhadallowedmetopresentmypaperonthesinkingoftheTitanicbyactingoutaplay,whereIplayedalltheparts.Noonelaughedharderthanhedid.So,whydidhesuddenlyforcemetodosomethingatwhichIwassuretofail?Hisreply:“BecauseIloveyourstories.Ifyou’rewillingtoapplyyourself,Ithinkyouhaveagoodshotatthis.”Encouragedbyhiswords,Iagreedtogiveitatry.IchosePaulRevere’shorseasmysubject.PaulReverewasasilversmith(銀匠)inBostonwhorodeahorseatnightonApril18,1775toLexingtontowarnpeoplethatBritishsoldierswerecoming.Mystorywouldcomestraightfromthehorse’smouth.Notabrilliantidea,butfunny;andunlikelytobeanyoneelse’schoice.Whatdidthehorsethink,ashespedthroughthenight?Didhegettired?Havedoubts?Didhewanttoquit?Isympathizedimmediately.Igottired.Ihaddoubts.Iwantedtoquit.But,likeRevere’shorse,Ikeptgoing.Iworkedhard.Icheckedmyspelling.Iaskedmyoldersistertocorrectmygrammar.IcheckedoutahalfdozenbooksonPaulReverefromthelibrary.Ievenreadafewofthem.WhenIhandedintheessaytomyteacher,hereadit,laughedoutloud,andsaid,“Great.Now,writeitagain.”Iwroteitagain,andagainandagain.WhenIfinallyfinishedit,thethoughtofwinninghadgivenwaytotheenjoymentofwriting.IfIdidn’twin,Iwouldn’tcare.注意:1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150個(gè)左右；2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。Afewweekslater,whenIalmostforgotthecontest,therecamethenews.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Iwenttomyteacher’sofficeaftertheawardpresentation.________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________文章主要講述一個(gè)學(xué)生參加了一個(gè)寫作比賽并獲獎(jiǎng)的故事。兩句提示分別如下：Para.1

Afewweekslater,whenIalmostforgotthecontest,

therecamethenews.Para.2

Iwenttomyteacher'sofficeafter

theaward

presentation.根據(jù)這兩句話可以基本定位，第一段講自己聽到比賽獲勝消息后的場景，第二段寫將這個(gè)好消息與老師分享。因此大致思路會如下列出：Para.1句1：銜接-

令我意外的是，我在這個(gè)寫作比賽中榮獲了第一名。句2：主角動作+心理：我欣喜不已。句3：配角動作+心理：我的老師為我感到驕傲句4：主角動作+心理：感謝老師。句5：銜接Para.2:參加頒獎(jiǎng)典禮。Para.2句1：銜接：老師在等我。句2：主角動作+心理：再次感謝老師句3：配角動作+心理：老師恭喜并激勵(lì)我句4：交代結(jié)局：我愛上了寫作。句5：點(diǎn)睛：老師的信任與激勵(lì)成就了我的今天。這兩個(gè)場景其實(shí)具有很大的相似性，區(qū)分在于一個(gè)溝通是遠(yuǎn)距離的，一個(gè)是面對面的。在打好大綱后，會擴(kuò)句是寫漂亮的必備條件。Para.1句1：銜接-令我意外的是，我在這個(gè)寫作比賽中榮獲了第一名。Tomysurprise,

Iwonthefirstplaceinthecontest.

或WhatsurprisedmemostwasthatIwonthefirstplaceinthecontest.

句2：我欣喜不已Informedofthegoodnews,Iwasveryhappy.

擴(kuò)句：將心理描寫換成其他高級表達(dá)。Informedofthegoodnews,a

waveofdelighttaking

holdofme,

joydancedallthewaytomyheart.句3：我的老師為我感到驕傲。My

teacherfeltproudofme.

擴(kuò)句：加入銜接NosoonerhadI

putdownthecallthanI

calledmyteachertosharethegoodnews,whofelt

extremelyproudofme.

(句式:nosoonerhad+主+done...than...一...就...)句4：主角動作+心理：感謝老師。Ithanked

him

forallthehelphehadoffered.

擴(kuò)句：套用應(yīng)用文感謝信的寫法(withoutone'shelp,...wouldn'thavedone...)Ithankedhimforallthehelphehadoffered,withoutwhichIwouldn'thaveachievedsuchabigsuccess.句5：銜接Para.2:參加頒獎(jiǎng)典禮。Finallycametheaward

presentationday.擴(kuò)句：加入在頒獎(jiǎng)典禮上會做的事情。Finallycametheawardpresentationday,whenIgratefullydeliveredaspeech

withexcitement.

Para.2句1：銜接：老師在等我。Myteacherwaswaitingforme.擴(kuò)句：增加動作與神情描寫。When

Iopenedthedoor,Ifoundmyteacherwaswaitingforme,whoseface

wasglowinglikeadiamond.

句2：主角動作+心理：再次感謝老師I

expressedmygratitudeagaintohim.擴(kuò)句：加入動作與眼神Lookingintohiseyes,

Iexpressedmy

heartfelt

gratitudeagaintohim,

withtears

mistingmy

eyes.

句3：配角動作+心理：老師恭喜并激勵(lì)我Hedeliveredhiscongratulationstome

andencouragedme.

擴(kuò)句：動作拆成三連，加入神情。He

patted

mybacksoftly,deliveredhiscongratulationstomeagainandencouragedmewith

pride,smileonhisfacelightingupthewholeroom.

句4：交代結(jié)局：我愛上了寫作。Fromthenon,Ifellinlovewith

writing.擴(kuò)句：補(bǔ)充點(diǎn)內(nèi)容。Fromthenon,Ifellinlovewithwriting,whoisnowafamouswriterwithhundredsofworks.

句5：點(diǎn)睛：老師的信任與激勵(lì)成就了我的今天。It'smyteacher's

trustandencouragementthatcontributes

toallmy

achievementstoday.

擴(kuò)句：套用個(gè)“我相信”的句式.Iholdthefirmbeliefthatit'smyteacher'strustandencouragementthat

contributestoallmyachievementstoday.

注意續(xù)寫時(shí)以第一人稱描寫的文章，其他人物的心理活動不能直接描寫，只能通過神情、動作與眼神表達(dá)。所以這篇文章中，心理描寫只有作者，老師的心理通過動作與神情傳達(dá)。另外，若想作文獲得相對高的分?jǐn)?shù)，要盡可能的避免寫對話描寫。Onepossibleversion:Afewweekslater,whenIalmostforgotthecontest,therecamethenews.IwasinformedthatIwonthefirstprizeinthewritingcontestandthattherewouldbeanawardpresentationintwodays.IwassohappytohearthenewsthatIimmediatelyshareditwithmyteacher.“Iknewyou’dwin!Iamproudofyou.Youmadeit!”hesaidexcitedly.Thencamethebigday.WhenIwasinvitedtothestagetoreceivetheaward,Iexpressedmythankstomyteacher.Isaid,“It’syouwhomakemefallinlovewithwriting,mysocialstudiesteacher.Withoutyourrecognitionandguidance,Icouldn’thavewrittenthisarticle.Againthankyouverymuch!”Iwenttomyteacher’sofficeaftertheawardpresentation.Myteacherwaswaitingforme.Holdingmyhands,hesaid“Congratulations!Youareagoodwriter,sokeepwriting.”“YouknowIdidn’tlikewritingbefore,butnowIamcrazyaboutit!Iwilltrymybesttocreategoodworks.”Isaidseriously.Sincethen,IhavewrittenmanygoodworksandnowIamafamouswriter.Iowemysuccesstomysocialteacherwhoisabeaconinmylifeontheroadtowriting.二、NSDD四步設(shè)計(jì)補(bǔ)全情節(jié)“NSDD”:N需求D困難+S方法+D結(jié)局“評卷員說”情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)原則優(yōu)先等級:簡單·穩(wěn)妥>緊湊>豐富>故事性情節(jié)構(gòu)思-“需求法”(NSDD)(1)N需求+D困難+S方法+D結(jié)局(2)歷年真題，情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)分析3.情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)素材:原文三處(1)串聯(lián)大意5W1H+P1P2首句，定事件走向，(2)劃關(guān)鍵詞(角色特點(diǎn)、關(guān)鍵情節(jié))(3)各類描寫占比，學(xué)寫比例與其一致2.“聽評卷人說”評卷標(biāo)準(zhǔn)1.“語法、時(shí)態(tài)、拼寫、標(biāo)點(diǎn)、大小寫、敘述連貫性等方面的錯(cuò)誤率都與學(xué)生讀后續(xù)寫的成績存在不同程度的正相關(guān)性?！?.“普遍存在情節(jié)不嚴(yán)密，詞匯較低級，句式變化少等情況”3.“...續(xù)寫內(nèi)容要與原文融洽，連貫...”4.“閱卷實(shí)際操作評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，主要依據(jù)為是否有正確的句子，原則上就高不就低。20分:內(nèi)容通順，細(xì)節(jié)比較多，允許些許錯(cuò)誤。18分:內(nèi)容通順，細(xì)節(jié)少些，語言有些許錯(cuò)誤。15分:內(nèi)容可讀，語言錯(cuò)誤多。10分:內(nèi)容基本完整，基本沒什么完整的句子。3.續(xù)寫情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)，優(yōu)先順序原則:“嚴(yán)密、融洽、連貫.簡單·穩(wěn)妥>緊湊>豐富>故事性(優(yōu)先)(重要)(挑戰(zhàn))(嘗試)總結(jié):情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)的任務(wù)為:簡單穩(wěn)妥其他維度可通過詞匯、句式、連接詞、各類描寫來實(shí)現(xiàn)；緊湊型:情節(jié)推進(jìn)+連接成分(邏輯連詞+副詞+介詞短語)；豐富性:各類描寫、詞匯、句式；故事性:多讀英語小故事，了解文化，熟悉常見情節(jié)【讀原文:5WP1P2+角色特點(diǎn)+描寫占比】第一件事:串聯(lián)首尾段5W1H+P1P2給定句，定事件走向(1)讀首段得知:人物+大致事件(2)讀尾段得知:具體事件+態(tài)度(列出所有角色)(3)讀P1P2給定句得知:故事結(jié)局走向2.第二件事:劃出關(guān)鍵詞(角色特點(diǎn)、關(guān)鍵情節(jié))(1)劃出角色相關(guān)描寫(adj/v/n):用來續(xù)寫角色，改寫關(guān)鍵詞;(2)劃出矛盾/需求，關(guān)鍵情節(jié):用來續(xù)寫情節(jié)，甚至是“升華”。3.觀察各類描寫占比，續(xù)寫比例與其一致(1)看各類描寫:續(xù)寫時(shí)盡量占比一致；(2)語法句式:盡量保持一致，也可模仿好句；(3)占比多的描寫:關(guān)鍵所在，決定情節(jié)走向。構(gòu)思前:讀原文3件事(5WP1P2+角色+描寫)Who關(guān)鍵詞動作：v情緒/心理：adj.特點(diǎn)：n./phrase角色1角色2角色3What關(guān)鍵詞P1P2關(guān)鍵句3W1H故事情節(jié):shortstoryplotsStoryElementsStoryelementsarethepieces,oringredientsthatwhenputtogethermakeupanarrativestory.Identifyingandrememberingstoryelementswillhelpyouunderstandastorybetter.StoryElementscharacters:people/animalsinthestorySetting:when/wherethestorytakesplaceProblem:theconflictormainproblemthatthecharactershaveSolution:howtheproblemissolved續(xù)寫情節(jié)構(gòu)思:需求法(NSDD)Needs需求→Difficulty困難、障礙→Solution行動、方法→Denouement結(jié)局(需求解決)續(xù)寫情節(jié)構(gòu)思:需求法(NSDD)---線索Needs(需求)重點(diǎn)看:首尾段+P1P2給定句2.也可理解為:寫作者要寫到的內(nèi)容Difficulties(困難)設(shè)置困難，原文找沖突、障礙(5W1H+角色特點(diǎn))Solutions(方法)1.大轉(zhuǎn)機(jī):通常在P1/P2首句2.原文:所有角色/事物Denouement(結(jié)局)1.需求被解決(符合價(jià)值觀結(jié)局)2.升華感悟(按需要來寫)【歷年真題情節(jié):需求-被解決】年份主題需求Needs結(jié)局Denouement困難Difficulties方法和媒介Solutions2024.全國I&II卷陌生司機(jī)相助錢包丟失需要錢再次去老地方感謝無法支付車費(fèi)陌生司機(jī)的信任讓我感激2023.6全國I&II卷老師鼓勵(lì)“我”參加寫作比賽寫作不是我的強(qiáng)項(xiàng)寫作比賽獲獎(jiǎng)無數(shù)次修改稿件老師的鼓勵(lì)讓我終身難忘2023.6全國浙江卷救下一只蜂鳥蜂鳥被困廢棄房屋中蜂鳥記得再次相見的我人與自然的和諧相處源于救助2022.6全國I&II卷殘疾孩子參加越野跑比賽比賽前信心動搖堅(jiān)持完成比賽學(xué)生喪失信心老師的鼓勵(lì)讓他堅(jiān)持完成比賽2021.6全國I&II卷母親節(jié)驚喜做早餐不會做，廚房亂爸爸幫忙父親的辛勞和擔(dān)心，觸動了我【2020年浙江卷】寫作思路點(diǎn)撥N需求:首尾1-2段+P1/P2給定句->脫險(xiǎn):對抗熊30分鐘->我們:拍照->熊:吃到食物S方法:P1/P2給定句+角色事物->等直升機(jī)->Ei11行動->噴霧+面包D結(jié)局:需求解決+呼應(yīng)原文->脫險(xiǎn):登直升機(jī)->我們拍照->熊沖破柵欄吃食物【最大化利用原文，情節(jié)僅需補(bǔ)2-3句】N需求:脫險(xiǎn)，對抗熊30分鐘;驚險(xiǎn)時(shí)刻(線索在:首尾段+P1/P2給定句)D困難:熊兇猛;武器只能用普通物品(線索在:5W1H+角色特點(diǎn))S方法:等直升機(jī);Ei11行動;噴客+面包(線索在:P1/P2給定句+角色事物)D結(jié)局:登機(jī)脫險(xiǎn);熊破柵欄吃食物;我拍照(線索在:需求解決+呼應(yīng)原文)P1:Afewminuteslater,thebearheadedbacktoourcamp.P2:Atthatverymoment,thehelicopterarrived.1.接著P1(心理/動作鏈)--意識到噴霧無用，熊更兇狠6.接著P2(心理/動作鏈)2.我害怕，不知咋辦7.登直升機(jī)脫險(xiǎn)3.其他噴霧+扔面包8.俯瞰營地，發(fā)現(xiàn)驚人一幕4.行動有用，熊跑去吃面包9.結(jié)局(需求解決)--熊終于沖破柵欄吃食物5.根據(jù)P2--熊吃完又折回，驚險(xiǎn)時(shí)刻10.升華(歸類+總結(jié)共性）--我拍照，心想:“熊得逞了”O(jiān)nepossibleversionPl:Afewminuteslater,thebearheadedbacktoourcamp.Thenwerealizedthatthesprayhadonlyangeredhimevenmore,forheseemedmuchfiercerthistimeandviolentlypushedthefencelikemad.Myheartracedwildly,notknowingwhattodo.Atthiscriticalmoment,Elligrabbedseveralpiecesofgarlicbreadandthrewthemoverthefence.Itworked!Thebearstoppedtheattackandrantothebread.Butitwasn'tlongbeforeheateupallthebreadandcamebackagain.P2:Atthatverymoment,thehelicopter.arrived,"Thankgoodnesswearesaved!"Ellicriedout.Oncethehelicopterlanded,wegotontoitinnotime,excitedandrelieved.Whenweweresafeonthehelicopterupintheair,Iwasamazedtospotthatthebearhadfinallytorndownthefenceandrantowardsthefoodweleftbehind.Iquicklytookoutthecameraandphotographedtherarescene-wewererobbedbyapolarbear!【遼寧省2024-2025學(xué)年高三上學(xué)期10月大聯(lián)考】InabusystreetofNewYorkCity,twostrangers,EmilyandJack,foundthemselvesonanunexpectedjourneyofkindnessandconnection.Emily,ayounggraphic(圖案的)designer,washurryinghomeafteralate-nightshiftwhensheaccidentallydroppedherbag,scattering(散落)itscontentsontothesidewalk.Thescattereditemswereherworklaptop,herlatestdesigndrawings,hermother'smedicationandsomeotherthingsthatwerecrucialtoEmily.Thewindwassostrongthatitcouldhaveblownherbelongingsawayatanymoment.Tiredout,shekneltdown,tryingtogatherherscatteredbelongings.Justthen,Jack,amiddle-agedmanwithagentlesmile,approachedher.“Letmehelpyouwiththat,”Jackoffered,hisvoicewarmandreassuring.“Oh,thankyousomuch!”Emilyrepliedwithembarrassment.Astheypickeduptheitemstogether,theystruckupaconversation.Emilysharedherstoryofabusyweek,mentioninghowhermotherhadalwaysbeenapillar(支柱)ofsupportforherandherten-year-oldsistersincetheirfather'searlypassing,asourceofunconditionalloveandwisdomthathadshapedtheirlives.Jack,inturn,talkedabouthisrecentretirementandhisdreamsofhostinghisownphotographyexhibition,showcasingthebeautyhehadcapturedthroughhiscameraovertheyears.Suddenly,Emily'sphonerang.Itwashersister,panic-stricken,informingherthattheirmotherneededimmediatemedicalattention.Emily'sfacepaled,andherhandsstartedtoshake.Jackasked,“Iseverythingalright?”“Mymother...sheneedsme,butIdon'tknowhowtogettothehospitalquickly.Ihavenocar.”Emilysaid,tearswellingupinhereyes.Withouthesitation,Jacksaid,“I'lltakeyouthere.Mycarisparkednearby.”Whentheyarrivedatthehospital,JackinsistedonstayinguntilEmily'smotherwasstabilized.Weekslater,Emily'smothermadeafullrecovery.WantingtorepayJack'skindness,Emilydecidedtodosomethingforhisdream.注意：1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150個(gè)左右：2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。