劍8test1大作文范文劍8test1小作文求評分批改

1、劍8test1大作文范文劍8test1小作文求評分批改 第一行有個(gè)錯(cuò)別字：courses-causes。 第一段對題目改寫比較簡單，而且后半句和原題比較像。 第三行the most ponent segment(應(yīng)該加個(gè)這一類的詞吧)，第四行deforestation的比例寫錯(cuò)了，應(yīng)該是30%。而且說了比上一個(gè)低5%，就不用再提具體數(shù)了。 第三段it lists 3 causes leading to land degradation in such three regions 而且本段寫的有點(diǎn)混亂23%land degraded by the deforestation(9.8%)and o

2、ver cultivation7.7% and over-gazing5.5% in Europe. 沒有謂語動(dòng)詞，而且沒有比較 The over-gazing rate makes up 13% and results to land degraded in Oceania. 常用表達(dá)the rate/proportion of over-grazing The over cultivation and over grazing leave 3.7% and1.5%result to land degraded in North America.去掉句首的The, 3.7% and1.5%

3、后面加個(gè)respectively result to 改成-ing形式吧 本文運(yùn)氣好也許能到6但很有可能是5.5及以下的。因?yàn)檎牟糠终Z法錯(cuò)誤多，表意不明確、而且句式結(jié)構(gòu)有點(diǎn)隨意、簡單了。 劍10test1 小作文，家用能源和氣體排放 The above two charts depict the Austrilianhousehold energy use and the corresponding gas emissions of each type of energyuse. From the first pie chart we could see thatwater heating

4、and heating are two major types of energy use, which oupies 30%and 42% of all the energy used in one household. Other appliances use 15% ofthe energy, and then refrigeration, lighting and cooling, which share the left13% of energy. Figures in the second chart are quitedifferent from that of the firs

5、t chart. Heating, which consumes 42% of a householdsenergy, only emits 15% of all the gas that one household produces. But the gasemission and energy use of water heating are pretty even, at around 30%. Costs only7% of all the energy, refrigeration produces 14% of all the gas, which goes forthe cond

6、ition of other appliances and the figures are 15% and 28%, and for thecondition of lighting, 4% and 8%. Cooling consumes 2% of energy and contributesto 3% of gas emission. To sum up, water heating and heatingconsume 72% of energy and produces only 47% of gas. Refrigeration and otherappliances, thoug

7、h only use 22% of energy, emit 42% of gas. 大作文， 教小孩是非觀要不要從小時(shí)候就開始教， 要不要punishment Indeed, children need to learn how to _right from wrong as they grow into adults. But as far as I am concerned, it isbetter for us to teach this ability to them when they are older rather than atan early age. Moreover,

8、certain punishments are required to make sure childrencould behave themselves. For starter, it would be easier for us toteach children about the difference between right and wrong when they beeolder. Young children, due to their lack of life experience, have difficultiesin understanding moral lectur

9、es. However, after they grow up a little, theycould better digest the meaning of what is right and wrong based on their pastexperience, thus will grasp the notion of right and wrong more easily andthoroughly. Similarly, older children tend to know moreabout punishment, and will be able to learn from

10、 the punishment caused by theirfail to recognize the distinction between right and wrong. Punishment mighthave long-lasting influences on younger children for they are too fragile. Olderchildren, on the other hand, could handle punishment more with ease and couldfigure out the reason they got punish

11、ed. Therefore, they could gain betterunderstanding about right and wrong than younger children do. The sort of punishment for parents andteachers to use whey they are trying to teach children about good behavior is asubtle issue. But the function of punishment is undeniable. It is necessary topunish

12、 a child because of his or her wrong acting. I suggest to use criticizeor physical training, such as asking children to do cleaning, as punishment. To conclude, teaching children about rightand wrong should be waited until children bee older. Aompanied by certainways of punishment, the teaching proc

13、ess would be more productive. 恩，首先你的單詞量只有159，規(guī)定寫150個(gè)，最好還是多個(gè)二十幾個(gè)的比較好，你這個(gè)字?jǐn)?shù)比較危險(xiǎn)，考官不會(huì)一個(gè)個(gè)給你數(shù)的，你看起來比較少，可能就OVER了哦。 再來，你的開頭，就有比較低級的錯(cuò)誤，比如，UK，是the uk,或者你寫the united kingdom,反正都要加THE。這個(gè)問題出現(xiàn)了兩次。 其他的細(xì)小語法錯(cuò)誤都沒有，單詞拼寫錯(cuò)誤也沒有。 還有后面的curves finally grow, 這個(gè)grow 時(shí)態(tài)不對的，而且還不如用went up比較native，不想和后面的重復(fù)也可以用其他的，反正grow但用于末尾很奇怪的

14、。 而且你的開頭結(jié)尾有問題，你的開頭，改寫題目，怪怪的，你自己也能感覺到，改成 this line chart illustrates the quantifies/numbers/amount of products/modities transported by four different types of transportation(namely/viz/i.e. road, water, railway and pipeline) in the united kingdom from 1974 to xx. 而你最后一段不能繼續(xù)描述內(nèi)容了，而是應(yīng)該做出總結(jié)，也就是你在這個(gè)基礎(chǔ)上應(yīng)該

15、再寫一段，具體點(diǎn)出在英國，公路運(yùn)輸最受歡迎，而選擇水路和管道運(yùn)輸?shù)娜艘踩找嬖龆?，而鐵路運(yùn)輸?shù)臓顩r一直沒有大變化，意味著人們也沒有對它變得感興趣。 有了這個(gè)，這篇文章才算完整的。 我估計(jì)，如果考官覺得你字?jǐn)?shù)完整，雖然沒有總結(jié)，但是運(yùn)用各種詞匯和變化性的句式，會(huì)給你6分，但是如果考官?zèng)]有數(shù)字?jǐn)?shù)，覺得你內(nèi)容不完整字?jǐn)?shù)不夠，會(huì)給你5.5分。 我是個(gè)喜歡實(shí)話實(shí)說的人，其實(shí)LZ你的作文功底還不錯(cuò)的，加油吧，相信你一定能改善的，祝你取得滿意的成績。 from:一個(gè)同樣在為了考試煎熬的烤鴨。 你可以幫我看看我寫的其他作文嗎?那么用心的人少見了. 我也是掙扎中的烤鴨一員，只是說下我的見解，希望互相勉勵(lì)吧 第一段

16、改寫得很好啊，我好喜歡 第二段感覺第一句不太對啊，圖標(biāo)給的是百分比而不是花銷的量是吧。 Food/Drinks/Tobacoo group aounted for the largest part of（我想用in是不是好一點(diǎn)呢）the three sectors 還有在說到國家間差異的時(shí)候，我不太清楚你是在跟其他國家間對比呢，還是說是國家內(nèi)部這個(gè)數(shù)據(jù)的對比呢。讀起來有點(diǎn)迷糊. 還有. 你很久都沒有處理你的問題啦，你現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)考了么？ The graphic information in the table shows how the consumers spend their money be

17、tween different items, in the following five countries by xx: Ireland, Italy, Spain, Sweden and Turkey. Aording to the table, most of the people in Ireland and Turkey were more likely to spend their money on food, drinks and tobao. For Ireland and Turkey, the percentage of the money spend were 28.91

18、% and 32.14%, but the other three countries in parison had a percentage that was relatively low, which was at an average of 17% or so. However, the consumer expenditure for clothing and footwear in Italy were the highest, which was around 9.00%. Still, theres no doubt that Spain was the country with

19、 the lowest percentage for national consumer expenditure of leisure and education that was only 1.98%; while Turkey, was more than twice of what Spain had. Yet, the cost for leisure and education in Ireland, Italy and Sweden, aording to the data, were at 2.21%, 3.2% and 3.22%. In conclusion, consume

20、rs in Turkey were preferred to pour their money into both Food/Drinks/Tobao and Leisure/Education, as against the highest consumer expenditure in other Europe countries was Food/Drinks/Tobao. 大多數(shù)的用詞方法改了一下，順序也稍微換了一下，這樣讀起來比較順口，還有你那個(gè)Food/Drinks/Tobao和Leisure/Education，在這邊基本上是不用“/”來劃分的，就直接用逗號，而且也不要大寫。 你

21、最后一段我沒看懂你想說什么，所以就沒改了，。 我提幾點(diǎn)意見 1:第2段第1行.首先有個(gè)用詞不準(zhǔn). usage應(yīng)該改為use(后面同理), 因?yàn)閡sage是用法的意思, use同樣可以做名詞. usage有the generally aepted way of using something的意思, 而use才是the act of using. 另外這一句考慮重寫一下, 因?yàn)槟壳熬渥又鞲墒莟he use are three ways. 這個(gè)表述不恰當(dāng)(重點(diǎn)考慮改寫謂語). 最后, 個(gè)人覺得ways后面的which應(yīng)該加逗號, 因?yàn)槲矣X得你在寫一個(gè)非限定性定語從句. 2:第2段倒數(shù)第2行. a

22、SHAPE increase? or sharp? 3:第2段最后一行, reach應(yīng)改為reaching. 和peaking并列的, 或者說補(bǔ)充的成分吧. 4:第3段As can be seen from the table that the parison of water consumption between Brazil and Congo from 3 factors. 此句缺乏謂語. table后面的that是對table的從句補(bǔ)充吧, 而句首as又是連詞, 所以這句只出現(xiàn)了as引出的省略句, 并且缺乏謂語. 很晚了 有點(diǎn)困, 只能看出這么多了 - -b 我有不對的地方請指教.

23、希望這些能對你有用. good luck, a 【higher than average】proportion of 【X】中 這個(gè)【X】才是決定謂語動(dòng)詞的關(guān)鍵。 a 。 proportion of 【households】 were living in poverty。 。高于平均比例的【家庭】生活在貧困當(dāng)中。 當(dāng)語句的意思被理解的時(shí)候，語法的辨析也變得豁然開朗。 也就說proportion后面省略了of them，從句謂語對應(yīng)的是both types of household with children，是這個(gè)意思吧？ 省略了of them你說對了，但是them指代的是households

24、 （with children） 從文意角度： 因?yàn)槲覜]看前后文，所以中文意思大致應(yīng)該是： 值得注意的是，在這兩種【有孩子的家庭】中， 有高于平均比例的【家庭households】生活在貧困當(dāng)中。 而不是。有高于平均比例的【種類types】生活在貧困當(dāng)中。 從語法角度： 實(shí)質(zhì)還是households were living in poverty而不是types【of household with children 僅僅是types的修飾成分 】，因?yàn)閠ypes were living是錯(cuò)誤的說法，而且注意介詞【for】 for both types of household with chil

25、dren這不是句子的主干而只是一個(gè)限定成分。 主干句應(yīng)該是：It it noticeable that a proportion（of households）were living in property. 舉個(gè)例子吧， 值得注意的是，在這兩種【有不良習(xí)慣的人】中，有高于平均比例的【人】罹患癌癥。 The line graph describes some data about the percentage =是不是可以改成 The line graph describes the percentage. aged 65 and over =aged 65 and older ? As can be seen from this lin