練就滿分作文的策略.ppt

練就滿分作文的策略,福清市蘆華中學(xué) 王鈺超,100分,必備條件,內(nèi)外兼修,中考大綱寫作要求,1.能正確地使用大小寫字母和標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號。 2.能應(yīng)用所學(xué)詞匯，語法，句型，按照題目要求寫出一篇不少于60 詞的文段。能簡單，描述人物，場所，活動(dòng)或事件。,3.能根據(jù)所給圖示或表格， 寫出簡單的段落或操作說明 4.能就常見的話題表述事實(shí)， 表達(dá)觀點(diǎn)，情感和態(tài)度等. 5.能正確使用常見的連接詞表示 順序和邏輯關(guān)系,滿分作文標(biāo)準(zhǔn),內(nèi)在,貼合題意,要點(diǎn)齊全 格式豐富 過渡自然,外在,格式正確 標(biāo)點(diǎn)準(zhǔn)確 書寫規(guī)范 大小寫對,寫作流程,審題中審題后 寫作前寫作中 寫作后,審題時(shí),審題時(shí)圈出要點(diǎn)并標(biāo)號,審題后,審?fù)觐}一句話概括題意,努力出簡單,寫作前,文章結(jié)構(gòu)提前做好規(guī)劃 句式及過渡詞提前規(guī)劃,寫作中,堅(jiān)持原則，靈活變動(dòng) Whatmore -Further more,寫作后,回文閱讀，對照清單,實(shí)戰(zhàn)演練,實(shí)戰(zhàn)演練,Hi! Liu Jing, My grandpa is going to Beijing next month because he has heard a lot about the city and he would like to see it himself .He says the bus service in Beijing is very good now , and people can go anywhere by bus .Is he right ? Can you tell me something more about it ? I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. yours Tony,Hi! Tony, Im glad to know your grandpa is coming to Beijing ._ _ _ _ _ _ If you have more questions ,please ask me . Yours, Liu Jing,審題中,審題后：審?fù)觐}一句話概括題意,Introduce the good bus service in Beijing.,寫作前文章結(jié)構(gòu)提前做好規(guī)劃 句式及過渡詞提前規(guī)劃,寫作中 :堅(jiān)持原則，靈活變動(dòng),回答問題： Your grandfather is right .The bus service in Beijing is very good now convenient ?,convenient ?便利,There are bus lines all over Beijing and the buses can take you to every corner of the city.,寫作中,Considerate 關(guān)心體貼,Besides, special seats which are painted yellow are offered on buses to make sure the old and the young can take the bus safely.,寫作中 回答問題,Fast 快捷,Whats more , the interval (間隔；空隙)between two buses is so short that people do not spend a long time waiting for a bus .,寫作中 回答問題,Cheap 便宜,In addition, the price of the tickets is the lowest in Chine while the service quality of the conductors is the highest.,寫作中 回答問題,Summary 小結(jié),寫作中 回答問題,Hi! Tony, Im glad to know your grandpa is coming to Beijing .Your grandfather is right .The bus service in Beijing is very good now. There are bus lines all over Beijing and the buses can take you to every corner of the city. Besides, special seats which are painted yellow are offered on buses to make sure the old and the young can take the bus safely Whats more , the interval (間隔；空隙)between two buses is so short that people do not spend a long time waiting for a bus and the tickets are cheap. In addition, the price of the tickets is the lowest in Chine while the service quality of the conductors is the highest. In a word, I think the bus service in Beijing is convenient, considerate, fast and cheap. I like taking a bus. Its also good for the environment. So its a good choice for you grandpa to travel by bus when he visits Beijing If you have more questions, please ask me . Yours, Liu Jing,寫作后,優(yōu)秀作文賞析,作文題目：目前所有的學(xué)校都在開展各種各樣的體育活動(dòng)。你們每天是如何開展體育活動(dòng)的？通過參與這樣的活動(dòng)你有何感受或變化？又有何想法？ 提示詞語： all the schools, have all kinds of, sport activities, take exercise, play football, go running, become healthier,提示：本文寫作應(yīng)分為三層： 開篇點(diǎn)題，引入話題； 重點(diǎn)應(yīng)放在 “你們每天是如何開展體育活動(dòng)的” 談?wù)勛约?建議：本文采用三段式比較好。即：開頭段，中間段，結(jié)尾段。采用一段式容易寫偏題。,Example -1 As we all know, many schools are carrying out the plan for students to do more exercise. And now, all the schools have all kinds of sport activities for students. As for our school, things are even better.,We have various （各種各樣）kinds of sports activities after school every day, such as basketball, football, running and so on. Hundreds of students come to the field, some enjoy going running, and others love playing football. And basketball lovers crowded the basketball field. Sometimes there are so many students that you see nothing but students exercising on the playground! Besides, the teachers are busy, too. They are not far away from the field to ensure保護(hù)，使安全that there are no accidents, you know, safety first!,As for me, Im a sports fan and I think its necessary for students to do some exercise every day. In this way, we can not only pass the P.E. exams, but also keep healthy! Thanks to the sports activities, I have become healthier than before. All in all, theres nothing better than doing sports every day!,Example -2 Do you have enough time for sports activities every day? Now, its not a big problem, for all the schools encourage students to take exercise at school.,Talking about sport activities every day, its really colorful. Every morning, we have to go running in order to get better grades in P.E. At first, it seems difficult for most of us. But now we are used to running for such a long time, and sometimes we enjoy it. And when we have P.E classes, running is also an important part of it. After running, the teacher sometimes asks us to play basketball, which is interesting. Besides, some of my friends often play tennis together in the afternoon. In their opinion, its a good way to help them keep fit and become healthier; its really worth the time. As the saying goes, “All work and no play make Jack a dull boy.”,From my point of view, our life is filled with learning now. So why not do something different? Playing sports surely makes you a new person, and helps you to build up a strong body as well. So what are you waiting for? Just join us and take exercise every day!,以上兩篇作文的特點(diǎn)： 審題準(zhǔn)確、到位，內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)齊全。 中心明確且層次清楚，語言流暢，通順。句式多樣。 內(nèi)容豐富，詳略得當(dāng)。整篇文章寫的收放自如，無多余廢話。 更值得一提的是，文章用詞豐富，靈活而簡練，都是常用詞，更顯出作者的語言功底。,學(xué)生作文分析：,In fact, all the schools are starting all kinds of sports activities. In our school, teachers ask us to take exercise every day. We have to go running together after school, but some like playing basketball, others like reading books in the classroom. The PE teacher is strict with us because some hate running and they usually stay. But mostly of us can finish running because we know teachers want us to become healthier and pass the exams, too. When the class is over, I am very happy so that I can do my best.,與主題無關(guān),沒有從正面反映出學(xué)生們?nèi)绾伍_展體育活動(dòng),沒有扣住談 “你的變化或感受，又有何想法”,無用詞語,審題不清，思維混亂,Do sports are very important in our life so all the schools do sport then before. We always do some sports in the morning every day and after that we have PE so we can do many storps every day. I think sport can make me strong and keep my health so I fell more strong then before. I want to do more sport then now. if you want to do sports way dont enjoy us.,基本能看出作者想表達(dá)的意思，有基本層次。,語言功底過于薄弱，語法錯(cuò)誤嚴(yán)重。,In my shcool, we have all kinks of sports activities. In the morning, we do morning exercise every day. But its not too much to keep our healthy. I am interested in playing badmindon and I usually play it with my classmate after school. I think its good for our health, and make me strong. To play badindon its can make me happy and take me easy. I like it, I will keep it in the future.,問題-1 審題偏差：重點(diǎn)應(yīng)著重寫“ 你們每天是如何開展體育活動(dòng)的”,此句可以被視為第二層，“我的感受或變化”,多余句，沒話找話。作用：增加語法錯(cuò)誤。,羽毛球：badminton 應(yīng)選自己會的詞匯寫，盡量減少語言錯(cuò)誤。,In our school, there are all kinds of sport activities. And in fact, all the schools are making sutdents take exercise now. So our teacher asks us to take part in the exercise, too. In other words, our school let us do some exercise in the afternoon. Such as play football, go running and so on. I always join the sport activities because in this way, Im becoming healthier and healthier. I think I will get more stronger in the future.,分析： 此文的最大問題是該重點(diǎn)寫的部分沒有展開。 開頭過于羅嗦，in other words 一句沒有必要， 老師讓學(xué)生參加體育活動(dòng)是一句簡單明了的句子，還用的著解釋嗎？有湊字?jǐn)?shù)之嫌。 3. 紅色字體為語法錯(cuò)誤。,學(xué)生作文分析二,原題：還有兩周就要參加體育測試了，可是李華這時(shí)卻感冒了, 發(fā)燒、喉嚨痛。 他心里很著急。請你以書面形式給他提些建議。不少于60詞。開頭結(jié)尾已給出，不計(jì)入。 Dear Li Hua, Im sorry to hear that youre not feeling well. I hope you feel better soon Best wishes, Liz Smith,提示：這是一篇寫回信，提建議的文章。常用提建議的句型有： You should / could / shouldnt do Youd better do / not do Why dont you / not do How / What about doing If I were you, I would / wouldnt do its a good idea to do ,建議的內(nèi)容提示： go to see the doctor take some medicine as you are told lie down and have a rest have some light food, like vegetables drink more water / have some chicken soup which will make you feel better listen to music and relax yourself stop exercising for two or three days,鼓勵(lì)性的話語： keep cheerful / be happy neednt worry about the PE exam; its just a piece of cake I think you can get over it. Never give up. Youll be better soon.,此類作文中學(xué)生們的普遍問題： 一類是提建議的常用句型沒有背下來，寫作時(shí)句型單調(diào)；語法錯(cuò)誤嚴(yán)重。或無法擺脫母語干擾。另一類是會背幾個(gè)句型，但提不出什么建議來，屬于無話可說型。第三種情況是能寫出幾條建議，由于沒有支撐句作后續(xù)，作文顯得空洞無物。,Dear Li Hua, Im sorry to hear that youre not feeling well. Dont worry, you will feel better soon. Youd better meet the doctor with your parents. And have some medicine. If you ill trouble, my suggest is have a nice rest every night. As for homework. If you feeling trouble. You can not do your homework and tomorrow you tell your teacher you are ill. At last you must pay attention to you clothes. You should wear some warm clothes!,此文的問題是： 沒有扣住 “要參加體育測試，生病，心情焦急” 來提建議。即：文不對題 語言功底較弱，語法錯(cuò)誤嚴(yán)重。,. I can give you some advices. First, you should stay in home (and)have a rest. Dont forget to eat medicine. I know you very naught