【英語趣聞】美國人最喜歡的幽默段子.doc

【英語趣聞】美國人最喜歡的幽默段子1、I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.我的品味最簡(jiǎn)單了，我總是對(duì)最好的感到滿意注：前一句好像在說自己對(duì)品味要求不高2、If you love something set it free, but dont be surprised if it comes back with herpes.”如果你愛某人，就給他自由，但是如果他患了皰疹回來，你不要吃驚3、Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.智慧來自經(jīng)驗(yàn)，經(jīng)驗(yàn)常常是缺少智慧的結(jié)果4、Hey, Rosalie? Do you know how to drown a blonde? Stick a mirror to the bottom of a pool.嘿，Rosalie？你知道怎樣淹死一個(gè)金發(fā)美女嗎？在池塘底部粘上一面鏡子注：美國有不少說金發(fā)美女愚蠢的笑話，在池底照鏡子被淹死了5、In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.起初，什么也沒有，然后就爆炸了注：宇宙中最早什么也沒有，然后就大爆炸了6、Life doesnt imitate art, it imitates bad television.生活不模仿藝術(shù)，它模仿糟糕的電視節(jié)目注：人們的生活沒有那么高的藝術(shù)性，年輕人模仿一些糟糕的電視節(jié)目而已好消息！好消息！線話英語為了滿足更多用戶的需求，也為了感謝大家對(duì)線話英語教育的支持和肯定，我們準(zhǔn)備了一系列的優(yōu)惠活動(dòng)等著大家來領(lǐng)取。還在糾結(jié)選哪家英語培訓(xùn)學(xué)校的大家我們特此準(zhǔn)備了一鍵注冊(cè)線話英語網(wǎng)站，立即就能獲得體驗(yàn)試聽課。機(jī)會(huì)難得不容錯(cuò)過，還有更多優(yōu)惠活動(dòng)即將推出。敬請(qǐng)關(guān)注線話英語官方網(wǎng)站。7、To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.失去一個(gè)父母可能會(huì)被認(rèn)為是不幸，兩個(gè)都lose(失去，走丟)看起來就像是粗心了。注：第一個(gè)“l(fā)ose”是“失去”的意思，第二個(gè)”lose”應(yīng)該是“丟失”的意思，沒看好父母，把父母丟了，這孩子太粗心了。8、What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course”我在床上穿什么？這還用問嗎？當(dāng)然是香奈兒5號(hào)9、The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.我歲數(shù)越大越不相信“歲月帶來智慧”這種熟悉的說法。注：意思是“我歲數(shù)越來越大，可為什么還不見智慧的到來”。10、The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, youre still a rat.”商業(yè)上激烈競(jìng)爭(zhēng)的不幸是，即使你勝了，你依然是一只老鼠注：rat race(商界的)激烈競(jìng)爭(zhēng)；字面意思：老鼠競(jìng)賽11、Just because youre beautiful and perfect,its made you conceited.正是因?yàn)槟忝利?、完美，才讓你變得自?fù)注：真會(huì)夸人12、Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.老鼠是要讓我們明白，自然界不是每樣?xùn)|西都有用途13、The covers of this book are too far apart.這本書的封面相距太遠(yuǎn)了注：說那本書很厚14、Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”這就是他們?yōu)槭裁捶Q之為美國夢(mèng)，因?yàn)槟阋欢ㄒ瞬拍芟嘈潘?5、Youre an idiot.Ive never claimed to be otherwise.你是個(gè)傻瓜我從來沒有聲稱我不是16、Confidence is ignorance. If youre feeling cocky, its because theres something you dont know.自信是無知，如果你感到過于自信，那是因?yàn)橛行┦虑槟悴恢?7、Technically, I am unarmed. But no one should ever underestimate the harm that fingernails can do. Especially if the target is unprepared.”嚴(yán)格法律意義上講，我沒帶武器，但是誰也不應(yīng)該低估指甲能夠造成的傷害，特別是如果目標(biāo)沒有準(zhǔn)備18、There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.世界上只有一件事情比被人談?wù)摳愀?，那就是不被人談?wù)撟ⅲ汉芏嘌輪T說討厭被人八卦，不被人八卦才著急呢19、If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldnt brood. Id type a little faster.如果我的醫(yī)生告訴我，我的生命只剩下6分鐘了，我就不會(huì)