(2021年整理)小學英語幽默故事

1、小學英語幽默故事小學英語幽默故事 編輯整理：尊敬的讀者朋友們：這里是精品文檔編輯中心，本文檔內(nèi)容是由我和我的同事精心編輯整理后發(fā)布的，發(fā)布之前我們對文中內(nèi)容進行仔細校對，但是難免會有疏漏的地方，但是任然希望（小學英語幽默故事）的內(nèi)容能夠給您的工作和學習帶來便利。同時也真誠的希望收到您的建議和反饋，這將是我們進步的源泉，前進的動力。本文可編輯可修改，如果覺得對您有幫助請收藏以便隨時查閱，最后祝您生活愉快 業(yè)績進步，以下為小學英語幽默故事的全部內(nèi)容。73英文幽默故事：there was a guy who went into a shop to buy a parrot。 there wereth

2、ree parrots in the shop。 one was $5，000; another one, $10，000; and the third one, $30，000。 the customer asked the owner， “how come this guy is 5，000？ thats so expensive for this kindof parrot?！?the owner said， “because i have trained him and he can talk。 so the customer asked him, “how about this gu

3、y？ what can he do that makes him so expensive？ the owner said， “well， apart from talking, he can also do some amusing actions,like dancing and so on。 thats why hes so expensive?！?then the customer said, “how about the third one? what canhe do that makes him so expensive?” the owner of the shopsaid,

4、“i dont know。 normally， i have never heard him talk， nor dance, nor whistle， nor sing, nothing at all! but the other two call him the boss。 老板最大 有個人到一間商店買鸚鵡.店里有三只鸚鵡，其中一只賣五千元，另一只賣一萬元，還有一只賣三萬元。顧客問老板：為什么這只要賣五千元?這個價錢對這種鸚鵡來說太貴了！老板說：因為我有訓練他講話。顧客又問：那這只呢?他會做什么？為什么要賣這么貴？老板說：他除了會說話之外，還會表演一些有趣的動作，好比說跳舞等等,所以才賣這

5、么貴。顧客接著又問：那第三只呢？他會做什么?為什么要賣這么貴？老板說：我不知道.我從沒聽過他講話、吹口哨或唱歌，也沒看過他跳舞，什么都沒有!不過另外兩只叫他：老板！where is the egg？teacher：can you make a sentence with the word egg？student：yes。i ate a piece of cake yesterday。teacher：then where is the “egg?student:in the cake，sir。雞蛋在哪里？老師:你能用“雞蛋”一詞造句嗎？學生：可以.我昨天吃了一塊蛋糕。老師：“雞蛋”在哪?學生:在

6、蛋糕里，先生 tom is a little boy, and he is only seven years old. once he goes to a cinema. it is the first time for him to do that. he buys a ticket and goes in. but after two or three minutes he comes out, and buys the second ticket and goes in again. after a few minutes he comes out again and buys the

7、third ticket. two or three minutes after that he comes out and asks for another ticket。 but a girl asks him，“why do you buy so many tickets？ how many friends do you meet?” “no， i have no friends here， but a big woman always stops me at the door and cuts up my ticket?！睖肥莻€小孩, 他才7歲。 當他去電影院的時候.那時他第一次去.

8、他買了張票進去了。 但沒過兩三分鐘他就出來了，然后買了第二張票又進去了。 幾分鐘后他又出來買了第三張票。 接著兩三分鐘后他又出來買票. 一個女的問她，“你為什么要買那么多票??？ 你見到了幾個朋友？” ”沒有, 我里面沒朋友， 但是每當我進門的時候一位大的女人老把我的票給剪了 child:my uncle has 1000 men under him.man:he is really somebody。what does do？child:a maintenance man in a cemetery 他真是一個大人物小孩：我叔叔下面有1000個人.男人:他真是一個大人物。他是干什么的？小孩:墓

9、地守墓人.teacher： would shakespeare be a great man if he were still alive today? student： of course。 he must be a great man， for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years。一名偉人 老師：如果莎士比亞還活著，他會是一名偉人嗎？學生：當然。因為到目前為止，還沒有人活到400多歲.mr. smith： waiter, theres a dead fly in my soup. waiter: yes， sir, i know-its th

10、e heat that kills it.史密斯先生:服務(wù)員,我的湯里有一只死蒼蠅 服務(wù)員：是的,先生，我知道了，它是被燙死的son: dad， give me a dime。 father： son， dont you think youre getting too big to be forever begging for dimes？ son: i guess youre right, dad， give me a dollar, will you？ 兒子：爸爸，給我一角錢。 父親：兒子，你不認為你已經(jīng)長大了,不該再老是一角一角地要錢了(該自立了)，不是嗎?兒子：爸爸，我想你是對的,那給

11、我一塊錢行嗎？a little kid fell in love with another little kid, a school mate. sometimes the kids think they fall in love when they have a crush on someone else in the class， when theyre eight or ten years old or something like that。 so the eight-year-oldkid came back home and asked his father， “father, i

12、s it expensive to be married？” and the father said, “yes, son, it is very expensive?！?so the son asked, “how much does it cost?” and the father said， “i dont know， son. im still paying?！?有個小孩愛上了另一個小孩，對方是學校的同學。八歲或十歲左右的孩子有時會迷戀班上某個人，然后就以為自己戀愛了.因此這個八歲的小孩回家問他爸爸：爸爸，結(jié)婚很花錢嗎？爸爸說：是啊，兒子，非?；ㄥX。兒子又問：要花多少錢呢?爸爸說：我不

13、知道，兒子,我到現(xiàn)在還一直在付錢?。　眀oy， why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? is it infected？ ”no， sir， but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other ， so i am trying to stop it?！?“孩子,你為什么用棉花塞住耳朵？它感染了嗎？ “沒有，老師?？墒悄阕蛱煺f你告訴我的知識都是一個耳朵里進,一個耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面。 “im sorry ，madam ，but

14、i shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boys tooth .” “twenty d ollars！ why ，i understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work！” “yes，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office ?！?“對不起,夫人，為您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元.” “20美元

15、！為什么?不是說好只要4美元。” “是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四個病人嚇跑了。 two： teacher：we all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. now，can anyone give me a good example？ john：well ，in the summer the days are long，and in the winter the days are short. 老師:我們都知道熱脹冷縮的道理.現(xiàn)在，誰給我舉個例子？ 約翰：嗯，在夏天天都長,在冬天

16、天都短。 the lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours。 then he started again, and said he：let me ask the evolutionist a question - if we had tails like a baboon, where are they？ ill venture an answer， said an old lady。 ”we have worn them off sitting here so long.。 教進化論的老師已經(jīng)滔滔不絕地講了快兩個

17、小時,他的話題又來了:“讓我向進化論者提個問題如果我們曾經(jīng)像狒狒那樣長著尾巴，那么現(xiàn)在尾巴到哪里去了?” “我來試試看，”一位老太太說。 “該是我們在這里坐這么久把它們磨掉了吧?！?a man was going to the house of some rich person. as he went along the road， he saw a box of good apples at the side of the road. he said, i do not want to eat those apples; for the rich man will give me much

18、food； he will give me very nice food to eat. then he took the apples and threw them away into the dust. he went on and came to a river. the river had become very big； so he could not go over it. he waited for some time； then he said， i cannot go to the rich mans house today， for i cannot get over th

19、e river. he began to go home. he had eaten no food that day. he began to want food。 he came to the apples, and he was glad to take them out of the dust and eat them。 do not throw good things away； you may be glad to have them at some other time. 【譯文】 一個人正朝著一個富人的房子走去，當他沿著路走時，在路的一邊他發(fā)現(xiàn)一箱好蘋果，他說：“我不打算吃那些

20、蘋果，因為富人會給我更多的食物，他會給我很好吃的東西?！比缓笏闷鹛O果，一把扔到土里去。 他繼續(xù)走，來到河邊，河漲水了，因此，他到不了河對岸，他等了一會兒,然后他說：“今天我去不了富人家了，因為我不能渡過河?！?他開始回家，那天他沒有吃東西。他就開始去找吃的,他找到蘋果，很高興地把它們從塵土中翻出來吃了。 不要把好東西扔掉，換個時候你會覺得它們大有用處。 a good boy little robert asked his mother for two cents. what did you do with the money i gave you yesterday?” ”i gave it

21、 to a poor old woman，” he answered。 youre a good boy， said the mother proudly。 here are two cents more。 but why are you so interested in the old woman?” she is the one who sells the candy。 好孩子 小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢. “昨天給你的錢干什么了？” “我給了一個可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。 “你真是個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說.“再給你兩分錢.可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢？” “她是個賣糖果的?！?drun

22、k one day, a father and his little son were going home。 at this age， the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. now, he asked, ”whats the meaning of the word drunk， dad？ ”well， my son， his father replied， ”look, there are standing two policemen. if i regard the tw

23、o policemen as four then i am drunk。 ”but， dad,” the boy said, ” theres only one policeman!” 醉酒 一天,父親與小兒子一塊兒回家.這個孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡,老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發(fā)問道：“爸爸，醉字是什么意思？ “唔，孩子,”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個警察.如果我把他們看成了四個，那么我就算醉了。 “可是,爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個警察呀！”sleeping pills bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night.

24、he went to see his doctor， who prescribed some extrastrong sleeping pills。 sunday night bob took the pills， slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm。 he took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: ”i didnt have a bit of trouble getting up this morning. thats fine

25、， roared the boss, ”but where were you monday and tuesday? 安眠藥 鮑勃晚上失眠。他去看醫(yī)生，醫(yī)生給他開了一些強力安眠藥。 星期天晚上鮑勃吃了藥，睡得很好，在鬧鐘響之前就醒了過來.他到了辦公室,遛達進去，對老板說：“我今天早上起床一點麻煩都沒有. “好?。　崩习搴鸬?“那你星期一和星期二到哪兒去了?普通英語故事story 1 i dont like her bob goes to a new school. one day he comes back, “bob, do you like your new teacher？” his m

26、other asks。 “i dont like her, mother. because first she says that three and three is six， and then she says that two and four is six， too.”故事1 我不喜歡她鮑勃的去了所新學校.一天， 他回到家,他媽媽問他：“你喜歡你的新老師嗎？“不，我不喜歡她，媽媽。因為她先說3加3等于6，然后她又說2加4等于6?！眘tory 2 ten candies mother asks her son, “jim， if you have ten candies, and you

27、 eat four, then how many candles do you have? “ten。” jim says.“then,” mother asks.“yes， mum. four candles are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach。 four and six is ten， isnt it right？故事2 十塊糖媽媽問兒子：“吉姆， 如果你有10塊糖，吃了4塊，那你還有幾塊糖？“10塊.”吉姆說?！?0塊?”媽媽問?！笆堑?，媽媽。因為4塊在我的肚子里面,6塊在肚子外面，4加6等于10，不對嗎?”st

28、ory 3 count tomorrow morning its a right. john is looking at the sky。 tom is johns younger brother。 he asks john “what are you doing？” john says, “im counting stars。”tom laughs and says, “its really dark now。 why not count them tomorrow morning?”故事3 明天早上數(shù) 這是一個晚上。約翰抬頭看著天空。湯姆是約翰的弟弟。他問約翰：“你在干什么?”約翰說：“我

29、在數(shù)星星.”湯姆笑著說:“現(xiàn)在天空太黑了.你為什么不等到明天早上再數(shù)呢？story 4 are flies yummy？ tony and his father are eating dinner。 suddenly tony asks his father, “dad， are flies yummy？” dad frowns and says， “no， i think its yucky. why do you ask me this question? its a silly question?！眀ut tony says, “ there was one fly in your pl

30、ate.”故事4 蒼蠅好吃嗎？ 托尼正和他爸爸一起吃晚餐。 突然，托尼問他的爸爸：“爸爸,蒼蠅好吃嗎?”爸爸皺眉說:“我想不好吃。你怎么會問這個問題？這可是一個愚蠢的問題.”可是托尼說：“剛才你盤子里有一只蒼蠅?！眘tory 5 i dont want to walk home tom is a very old man。 after dinner， he likes walking in the street。 and he goes to bed at seven oclock。 but tonight， a car stopped at his house。 a policeman he

31、lps him get out。 he tells toms wife, “the old man couldnt find his way in the street. he asked me to take him in the car.”after the policeman leaves there， his wife asks， “tom， you go to the street every night. but tonight you cant find the way， whats the matter?”the old man smiles like a child and

32、says, “i couldnt find my way？ i didnt want to walk home.故事5 我不想走回家 湯姆是一位老人,他喜歡在晚飯后到大街上散步，在7點回來睡覺。 但是，今天晚上一輛小汽車停在他家門前，湯姆在一位警察的幫助下走下汽車。警察告訴湯姆的妻子：“這位老人在街上迷路了，他讓我用汽車送他回來?！本熳吆螅骸皽?，你每天都到那條街上散步，但是今天你迷路了,你怎么了？這位老人像孩子般的笑道：“我迷路了?我是不想走路回家?！眘tory 6 it must be crowdeda teacher is telling his students, “the moon

33、 is very large。 several millions people can live there.”and a boy laughs and says, “it must get crowded when its a crescent moon?！惫适? 一定很擁擠 一位告訴學生：“月亮非常大，上面能住幾百人?！币粋€男孩笑著說：“當月亮變成月牙的時候,住在上面的人該多擁擠??！”story 7 its good to admit a faultjohn is not a “good” student。 he always sleeps in the class. today he s

34、leeps again.“john!” teacher says angrily?！皐hat? whats wrong? john is awaken?！皐hy do you make a face? its classroom。 look！ everyone is laughing.” teacher says。“no one is laughing?！?teacher says?！皀o， its not me. i was not making a face。 i was sleeping。 john fells upset。“um. not bad. you can admit your

35、 fault. you are still a good boy。 teacher is satisfied with it。故事 7 認錯約翰并不是個“好學生。他總是在上課的時候睡覺。今天他又睡著了.“約翰！”老師生氣地喊他?！笆裁?？出什么事了？”約翰醒了?！澳銥槭裁匆龉砟?？這是教室！看看!同學們都在笑！”老師生氣地說.“沒有人在笑呀。其他同學笑聲地嘀咕?！安?，不是我。我沒有做鬼臉。剛才我睡著了?！奔s翰感到不安?！班牛€不錯。你承認自己的錯誤，還是給好孩子”老師為此感到滿意。story 8 adding feet to a snake one day， mr. lion holds a p

36、arty. many animals come and drink a lot of wine。 at last there is a pot of wine. who can drink it? they drink out an idea and decide to have a matchdraw a snake。 if you finish first， you can get it。 soon mr。wolf finishes drawing。 “yeah, ive finished. im no。1, he says。 but he draws again and says， “o

37、h, let me add feet and my snake。 at the time, mr. gorilla also finishes。 he takes away the pot of wine and drinks, then he says， “that isnt a snake。 snakes have no feet。 i get the wine.故事8 畫蛇添足一天， 獅子先生舉行一場聚會,許多動物都來了，他們喝很多酒。最后只剩一壺酒了。讓誰喝呢？它們想了想，有個主意.它們比賽畫蛇，誰最快畫好，誰就喝這壺酒。 不一會，狼先生畫好了。“哈，我畫好了，我是第一個?！彼f.可是

38、它又畫了起來,它還說:“再給它加幾只腳吧.”這是猩猩先生也畫好了.它拿起那酒壺喝起來.一邊喝一邊說：“那不是蛇，蛇是沒有腳的,我贏了這壺酒.”story 9 covering ones ears while stealing a bell mr。 wang thinks he is clever, but he always does foolish things。one day he sees a beautiful bell at the top of a door. “oh! how nice! i will take it home。 he thinks, “what can i do

39、？” after a while he has a “good” idea。 “aha！ i have an idea now。 i can plug my ears。 then i will not hear the ring when i take off the bell.then he does so。 but as soon as he takes off the bell, the owner opens the door. “what ate you doing? the owner says angrily.故事9 掩耳盜鈴 王先生總以為自己很聰明,實際上他總干傻事。一天,他看

40、見一戶人家的門頭有個很漂亮的鈴鐺。“啊,真漂亮??！我要把它拿回家去?！彼匝宰哉Z道：“我該怎么做呢?”過了一會兒他想到了一個“好”主意?！鞍」?！我有辦法了!我把耳朵堵上，拿鈴鐺的時候就聽不見鈴聲了。 于是他就這樣做了.可是他剛拿下鈴鐺，屋子的主人就打開門，怒氣沖沖地說：“你在干什么？”story 10 adding eyes to a dragonmr。 li is a good painter。 one day he draws a beautiful dragon without eyes. mr. zhou looks at the picture and says, “the drag

41、on has no eyes。 it isnt a good picture.” but mr. li smiles and says， “if i add eyes to the dragon， it will fly away?！?mr. zhou shakes head and says, “you are boasting。 i dont believe you.” mr。 li isnt angry。 he holds the paintbrush and adds eyes to the dragon. woe! the dragon really flies.故事 10 畫龍點睛

42、 李先生是位很好的畫家.一天畫了一條栩栩如生的龍，但是這只龍沒有眼睛。 周先生見了說：“這條龍沒有眼睛。這不算一張好畫。 可是李先生笑著說：“如果我給它加上眼睛，它就會飛走了?！?周先生搖頭說：“你吹牛.我不相信?！崩钕壬膊簧鷼?只是拿起筆給龍點上眼睛。哇！龍真的飛走了.story 11 lord yes love of the dragon there is a young man， lord ye。 he likes dragons vey much。 he draws many dragons in his house. the house becomes a world of dra

43、gon。 a red dragon hears of lord ye, and is deeply moved。 he wants to visit lord ye and makes a friend with him. “hi, mr. ye! nice to meet you，” the real dragon comes to visit mr。 ye runs away as fast he can. “oh， my god！ help！ help!” he runs and shouts.故事11 葉公好龍 有個年輕人，姓葉，非常喜歡龍。他在屋里里面了許多許多龍。這屋子都快成了龍的

44、世界。 一龍真龍聽說了葉公的事，很受感動，就想去拜訪葉公，和他交個朋友。 “嘿。葉先生！很高興見到你?！边@條真龍拜訪葉先生了。可是葉先生飛快地逃了。忒邊跑邊喊：“啊，我的天??！救命！救命！”story 12 i made granny glad a teacher is telling her students the importance of making others glad. “now， children，” she says“did you make someone else glad？” “please, teacher,” says a small boy, “i made s

45、omeone glad yesterday。“well done. who was that？” the teacher says.“my granny?！?the boy says.“good boy。 now tell us how you made your grandmother glad?！?the teacher says.“i went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her for three hours。 then i said to her， granny, im going home. and she said， “well.

46、im glad！”故事12 我讓奶奶高興了一位教師正在對學生將使人高興的重要性?！奥犞?孩子們，”他說：“你們曾讓別人高興過嗎？”“我，老師，”一個男孩子說，“昨天我就使別人高興過?！薄白龅煤?。是誰呢？”老師說?！拔夷棠獭！毙∧泻⒄f。“好孩子?，F(xiàn)在告訴我們，你是怎樣使你奶奶高興的？老師問道.“是這樣的，老師。昨天我去看她，在她那兒呆了3個小時。然后我對她說：“奶奶,我要回家了。她說:“啊,我很高興?！眘tory 13 look at the sky from the bottom of a well there is a frog。 he lives in a well and he neve

47、r goes out of the well. he thinks the sky is as big as the mouth of the well.one day a crow comes to the well. he sees the frog and says, “frog, lets have a talk.” then the frog asks， “where are you from?” “i fly from the sky，” the crow says。 the frog feels surprised and says， “the sky is only as bi

48、g as the mouth of the well。 how do you fly from the sky? the crow says, “the sky is very big. you always stay in the well, so you dont know the world is big。” the frog says, “i dont believe. but the crow says, “you can come out and have a look by yourself?！眘o the frog comes out from the well。 he is

49、very surprised。 how big the world is!故事13 坐井觀天有一只青蛙住在井底，他從來沒有去過井外面。他以為天空就和井口一樣大。一天， 一只烏鴉飛到井邊，看見青蛙，就對它說：“青蛙，咱們聊聊吧.”青蛙就問他：“你從哪里來?”“我從天上上來.青蛙驚訝了，就說:“天空就只有這井口這么大，你怎么會從天上飛老呢？”烏鴉說：“天空很大.只不過你一直呆在井里，所有不知道世界很大?！鼻嗤苷f:“我不相信。”烏鴉說：“你可以出來，自己看看嘛?！庇谑乔嗤軄淼骄?。他十分驚訝,原來世界這么大！story 14 i cant cook it its sunny day in sprin

50、g. miss cat is fishing. suddenly the fishing rod moves. “great! oh， its so heavy!” miss cat says happily。the fish is plucked out of the river. “oh， a big fish！ how big the fish is! she cheers. but she puts the fish into the river and goes on fishing.at the time mr. house goes by and sees it。 “what d

51、o you set it free?” he asks. “because my pot is too small. i cant cook it，” miss cat says.故事14 我沒法煮它 這是春天里一個陽光明媚的日子,貓小姐在河邊釣魚。突然魚竿動了動?！疤袅?！哇，好重?。∝埿〗愀吲d地喊著。魚被拉出來了?！鞍?一條大魚!這條大魚可真大呀！”她歡呼道。但是她卻把魚放回河里，又繼續(xù)釣魚。這時候馬先生路過，看見這一切，就問她:“為什么你把魚放了?” “因為我的鍋太小。我沒辦法燒這么大的魚?！必埿〗慊卮鹫f。story 15 that is not my dog! a woman walk

52、s into a pet shop and sees a cute little dog. she asks the shopkeeper, “does your dog bite？”the shopkeeper says, “no, my dog does not bit.”the woman tries to pet the dog and the dog bites her.“ouch！ she says, “i thought you said your dog does not bite!”the shopkeeper replies, “that is not my dog!”故事

53、15 那不是我的狗 一個婦人走進一家寵物店,看見一只很可愛的小狗。她問店主：“你的狗咬人嗎？”店主說：“不，我的狗不咬人。于是這個婦人試著撫摸小狗，可是小狗卻咬了她。“哎喲！婦人說，“我想你剛才還說你的狗不咬人.”店主人回答說：“那不是我的狗。story wrong marks favorite cup is broken， and he feels unhappy。 susan sees and asks him， “ you look sad。 whats the matter?”mark says， “there is something wrong with my cup.”susan

54、 says， “dont worry. i can repair it.”mark feels surprised and asks， “repair? you can repair it? you？”“yes. believe me! where is it？ susan answers. “here。 my cup is broken。 are you sure you can repair it? mark takes out his cuo。故事16 誤會 馬克最喜歡的杯子了，他很不開心。蘇珊看見了就問他:“你看上去不太開心。怎么了?” 蘇珊說：“別擔心.我會補好它的.”馬克聽了感到奇

55、怪，就問她：“補？你會補？真的嗎？”“沒錯。相信我。在哪里呢？蘇珊說?！斑@兒。我的cup破了。你確信補好它嗎？馬克拿出了杯子?！癱up？ 你以為是cap。”蘇珊說道。說完他倆都笑了。story 17 my “clever” dog bobby is my dog. i love him。 he can roll on the floor. he can play balls with me. he can look after my house when i am out. bobby is very clever. but sometimes he isnt。one day bobby ru

56、ns away. he is out for three days。 after he comes back， i tie him to a tree and give him some food. bobby begins to eat. but then he stops. he sees a fox。 the fox is looking at his food。 bobby barks and barks. he wants to catch the fox。 but he cant。 the fox runs round the tree. bobby runs after the fox. so the rope goes ground the tree. of course bobby cant run. the doc can eat the food. quickly she eats up the food and runs away。故事17 我“聰明“的狗 巴比是我的狗。我很愛他.他會在地板上打滾。他會和我玩球。他能在外出的時候幫我看家。巴比很聰明，可是有些時候他也不聰明。 一天，巴比跑了出去，3天沒回家。他回來后，我把