安徽省巢湖市春暉中學(xué)2012屆高考英語 考前沖刺精品講義外教旁批寫作外教旁批寫作 (5)

1、安徽省巢湖市春暉中學(xué)2012屆高考英語考前沖刺精品講義外教旁批寫作（六） 典例你校校長打算改進食堂的設(shè)施(facilities) 和服務(wù)(service)，請你給校長寫信，談?wù)勀愕慕ㄗh。詞數(shù)150左右。_【寫作策略】1.仔細審題：(1)體裁：建議信。(2)時態(tài)：一般現(xiàn)在時。(3)人稱：第一人稱。2.確定結(jié)構(gòu)：(1)Formal greeting可以用 Dear Sir/ Madam/Dr Smith等。(2)Body language正文內(nèi)容(3)Formal ending正式建議信結(jié)束語還要帶上Yours truly/sincerely等。3.篩選詞匯：(facilities ，cantee

2、n，quality，service，complain about等。)4.句型搜索：(Id like to.等。)5.組句成篇：(常用firstly，apart from，whats more等。)【范文賞析】Dear Mr.President，My classmates and I are very glad to know that you are determined to improve our canteen facilities and service.I would like to give my opinion.Firstly，the quality of the dishes

3、 should be improved.Undoubtedly，there are a lot of delicious dishes，but all the year around，they are the same.More and more students are complaining about eating the same food every day.Apart from the quality，the price is supposed to be adjusted，too.Some food which is delicious has been priced drama

4、tically high that most of us cant afford it. Whats more，the environment is so noisy that we cant enjoy our meals in good mood.I suggest that there be some soft music to help us relax.From bad to worse，the lights are so dull.We will appreciate from the bottom of our hearts if you will take action imm

5、ediately.【名師點評】為禮貌用語，切忌 “I want to”的漢語思維運用。先陳述優(yōu)點，為委婉地提出建議做好鋪墊。承接上文，過渡下文，由種類到價格，逐漸展開。限制性定語從句用得非常靈活。結(jié)果狀語從句，增強語氣，強烈表達不滿?？傮w評價：行文委婉含蓄地表達建議，同時，又強烈表達了對改進目前狀況的期待。語言得體是本文的一大特色?！緦懽髦笇?dǎo)】Elegance(優(yōu)雅)(原文) So­so(普通)(1)My classmates and I are very glad to know that you are determined to improve our canteen faci

6、lities and service. My classmates and I hear that you have made up your mind to improve our canteen facilities and service so we are very happy.(2)More and more students are complaining about eating the same food every day.Many students say they are tired of eating the same food every day.(3)Apart f

7、rom the quality， the price is supposed to be adjusted， too.We hope both quality and the price of food can be improved.(4)I suggest that there be some soft music to help us relax.I think some soft music should be played because it can help us relax.(5)We will appreciate from the bottom of our hearts

8、if you will take action immediately. We will thank you very much if you take action at once.【臨摹翻譯】1.范文佳句：My classmates and I are very glad to know that you are determined to improve our canteen facilities and service.臨摹翻譯：他們決心要在改善食堂設(shè)施和服務(wù)上取得成功。They are determined to succeed in improving the canteen f

9、acilities and service.2.范文佳句：More and more students are complaining about eating the same food every day.臨摹翻譯：越來越多的人過著健康的生活。More and more people are leading healthy lives.3.范文佳句：Some food which is delicious has been priced dramatically high that most of us cant afford it.臨摹翻譯：我希望食堂里的食物價格被控制在我們能買得起的范

10、圍內(nèi)。I hope the prices of the food can be controlled below what we can afford.4.范文佳句： Whats more， the environment is so noisy that we cant enjoy our meals in good mood.臨摹翻譯：食堂里如此之擁擠以至于我們要花大約20分鐘才能買到食物。It is so crowded in the canteen that we have to spend about 20 minutes buying the food.5.范文佳句：I suggest that there be some soft music to help us relax.臨摹翻譯：他建議食堂提供更多的美味而有營養(yǎng)的食品給老師和學(xué)生。He_suggested_that_canteen_provide_more_delicious_and_nutritious_foods_for_students.6.范文佳句：We will appreciate