personal statement 留學(xué)文書寫作培訓(xùn)教材

1、Writing Your Essay/Personal Statement for Collegeby r. Marilyn Winkleby, Founer, SMYSP原文地址：:/me.stanfor.eu/school/smysp/nojava/prepare/writing.html 本文為斯坦福大學(xué)SMYSP 工程關(guān)于如何寫作Essay 的建議，具體詳細闡述了該注意的方方面面的問題What is the purpose of your college essay? 目的：突出特色Manycollegeswillrequestthatyouwriteanessayorpersonal

2、statementto accompanyyourapplication.Youressayisveryimportantbecauseitallows youanopportunitytobeyourselfantoletthecollegesknowwhoyouareas aniniviual.Thinkaboutyourlifeexperiencesanwhathasshapeyouinto thepersonyouaretoay.Tellaboutaspectsofyourbackgrounanpersonal attributes that may not be apparent f

3、rom your acaemic recor. Since acaemic recors an test scores of applicants are often very similar, your essay allows the college to gain insight into your unique achievements, character,anbackgroun.Thisallowsthecollegetoevaluatewhattheycan offeryoualongwithwhatyoucancontributetotheiracaemicenvironmen

4、t.Collegesmayaskforageneralessayorgiveyouspecificquestionstoanswer. The suggestions below apply toeither.Who reas your essay? 閱讀者：專業(yè)人員或者教職員工Eachcollegehasateamoftrainereaers,severalofwhomwillusuallyrea anscoreyouressayinepenently.Reaersareoftenprofessionalstafffrom thecollege,butmayalsoincluefaculty

5、members,highschoolteachers,an counselors.ThesereaersarenottestingyouonwritingabilityorEnglishskills.Theysimplywanttolearnmoreaboutyouonapersonallevel.However,well-writtenessaywillimpressthereaersoinvesttimeineiting,an checking your grammar anspelling.What makes a goo essay? 等。Agooessaywillmakeyouist

6、inctfromthemanyotherapplicants.Reaers look for a cohesive essay that reflects your life experiences, intellectual curiosity an achievements, personal characteristics (perseverance, motivation, leaership), service to others, an commitment to highereucation. Youmayescribeharshipsyouovercame,eventsthat

7、haasignificantimpactonyourlife,peoplewhoinspireyou,oryourknowlegeofcertain culturalorethnicgroups.Sometimesaverycommonexperienceisinfluential anmemorable.Forexample,onestuentwroteabouthisintelligentparents whoweretrappeinunfulfillingjobsuetotheirlackofformaleucation.stuentwasinspirebyhisparents?expe

8、rience,excelleinschool,anthus becamethefirstinhisfamilytoapplytocollege.Youressayshoulshowtheepthofyourinterestsanaccomplishments,quality of your character. No matter what experiences you choose to write about, you shoul elaborate on the insights that you gaine from the experiences an on the ways th

9、e experiences influence your life. Reaers wanttolearnhowexperienceschangeyourattituesorbeliefs,influence your acaemics or extracurricular activities, or clarifie your eucational goals.Belowaresomegeneralsuggestionsaswellasspecificsuggestionsthathelpyouwriteanessaythatmakesyoustanoutasagreatapplicant

10、.General suggestions:Checktherules. 閱讀寫作要求，最常見的錯誤是忽略了要求和格式。Reatheinstructionsfortheessayinthecollegeapplicationpacket.Oneof the most common mistakes is to miss requirements about the length or formattingoftheessay.Remember,almostallcollegeswantyoutosenessay with your complete applicationform.Startea

11、rlyanreviseoften. 早動手，多修改。Startyouressayearly,atleastoneortwomonthsbeforeitisue.Ifpossible, useacomputerorworprocessorsorevisionsareeasy.Yourfirstraftwillrevisemanytimessoontfeelconstraine.Instea,itshoulbeastarting point for you to begin telling yourstory.Youmaywanttobeginbywritingownmanythoughtsant

12、henselectingthe mostimportant.Or,youmayprefertomakeanoutlineanexpanitaccoring tothelengthrequirements.Bepreparetowriteatleast10raftsantohave severalpeoplerearaftsatifferentstagesinyourwriting.Thesepeople shoul know you on a personallevel.Onceyouhavereaanreviseyouressayseveraltimes,putitawayfora week

13、orso.(Ifyoustarteearly,youshoulntbetooclosetotheealineAfter the rest perio, think again about what you want the amissions committeetoknowaboutyou.Writethisown,thentakeoutyouressayan reaitagain.oesitconveywhatyouwanttosay?Ifnot,youmayhavetostartalloveragainorcutoutlargepartsofyourfirstraft.Thisisokay

14、-writing requiresflexibility,ansometimesyouwillhavetoeliminatethingsthatyou like because they ont relate to your overall message.Beclearanfocuse. 清楚，集中。應(yīng)該是一個連貫的故事。Youressayshoulbefocuseantellacohesivestory.Witheachrevision, youressayshoulbemorefocuse,havesmoothtransitionalstatements,an presentamorec

15、ohesivestory.Everymainthoughtshoulbefollowebya logical transition that connects to the next main thought. The reaer of your application(whomaybesleepyorinahurry)willnotspentimetryingtofigure out your main points if your essay isunclear.Beistinctive. 有特色的東西Writeanessaythatistinguishesyoufromotherappl

16、icants.Avoiwriting sentencesthatanotherapplicantcoulwrite.Anyapplicantcoulwrite,Ialwayswantetogotocollegetofurthermyeucation,orIhavealways wantetobeaoctor.Thefollowingsentenceismorepersonalangives insightintoanapplicantbackgroun:Ifirstbecameinteresteinbecoming aoctorwhenaniel,mylittlebrother,washosp

17、italizeforaninfectefoot afterhegotcaughtonabarbewirefencewhilebeingchasebyabull.Bespecific. 具體Thiswillhelpthereaerrememberyou.Supposeyouarewritingabouta patientyoumeturingyourvolunteerworkataninnercityhospital.Rather thanwriting,Onepatientmaealastingimpressiononme,proviemore etailsanwrite,AyoungLati

18、nawomanwhohabeenburneinacar accientmaealastingimpressiononmeaninfluencemyfuturecareer goals.Or,ifyouarewritingaboutateacherwhowasinstrumentalin encouragingyoutoapplytocollege,youmightwrite,Mr.Wright,myhigh schoolbiologyteacher,wasthefirsttosuggestthatImightattencollege.Avoietailsthataresuperficialto

19、yourpoint,suchas,Mr.Wright,myhigh schoolbiologyteacher,noticemyintenseinterestinscienceuringmy sophomoreyearantookmeasieoneafternoontotalkwithme.HewasfirsttosuggestthatImightattencollegeanencouragemetotakeclasses inbiology,chemistry,physics,anothersciences.Incluepowerfulexperiences. 獨特的個人經(jīng)歷Inclueper

20、sonalexperiencesthatwillleavethereaerwithstrongimages, especiallyonesthathaveinfluenceyoureucationorcareergoals.The experiencecanbetolinseveralsentences,butitshoulpaintalastingimage. Theseexperiencesmayberelatetoaharshipyouhaveovercomeoran experiencethatinfluenceyourlife.Stuentshavewrittenabouthowli

21、vingin fostercare,caringforaparentwithaseriousillness,orlivinginarefugeecampcontributetotheirinitiativeanchangetheirattituesaboutanorgroupofpeople.Otherstuentshavewrittenabouthowseeingayoung teenager ie from AIS or an elerly patient learn to speak after having a stroke inspire their commitment to pu

22、rsuing a healthcareer.Beenthusiastic,butreasonable. 熱情，契合情理。Show your enthusiasm, passion or commitment about causes, but be reasone an logical in your iscussions. You may feel strongly about a humanrightsorhealthcareissue,suchastheneeforguaranteehealthfor all Americans. iscuss your personal views,

23、provie supporting evience, an propose how you woul aress the problem, but o so without preaching.Be yourself! 寫關(guān)于自己的東西Mostimportantly,behonestanbeyourself!Amissionsofficerswantto acceptstuentswhowillbesuccessfulattheirschoolancontributetoits environment. They want to recruit stuents from backgrouns

24、who will iversifytheirstuentboyanifyousounliketheirtypeofcaniate,thenwillbeanavantageoussituationforbothyouanthecollege!Review your final versioncarefully.Whenyouhavecompletethefinalversionofyouressay,reaitcarefullyask:Is there a strong introuction that sets the stage for a memorable essay?當(dāng)寫完了之后，應(yīng)該

25、看看是否有好的開頭Isthetopicsentenceofeachparagraphclearanotherestofthesentences每段第一句是否清楚the paragraph support the topic sentence?Are all of my thoughts connecte in a logical fashion? 是否有邏輯Is the essay focuse an cohesive? 是否比擬集中oesmyuniquevoicecomethrough;oestheessaysounlikeIs the grammarcorrect?Have I one a

26、 final spell check on a computer?HaveIre-reathefinalversioncarefullytobesurethespellcheckin抰substituteanyincorrectwors?Asafinalcheck,giveyouressaytoanEnglish teacherorsomeonewithabackgrouningrammaranspellingtomakesure thatyouhaventmaeanyavoiablemistakes.An, be sure to keep a printe copy of your fina

27、l version.Specific suggestions about your essay: 具體建議Reaerslookforcertainareasofcontentthatreflectyourlifeexperiences, intellect, work an volunteer experiences, extracurricular activities, an personalcharacteristics.Thefollowingoffersyoumoretipsoncontentsome of which you may writeabout.Acaemic prepa

28、ration an scholarlyexperiences.Inclueetailsaboutsignificantclasses,researchprojects,anexperiences thathavecontributetoyourintellectualevelopment.onotsimplylistyour classes, graes, an acaemic honors since this information can be foun elsewhere in your application. Instea, you might escribe how a set

29、of experiencesbuiltupononeanotheranletoyourcurrentcareerinterest.example,youmayhaveexperiencehungerasachilanthenbeeninspire byyourhighschoolscienceteachertocompleteasciencefairprojecton chilhoo nutrition. You then share your finings with chilren in an elementaryschoolclassbyteachingthemtheimportance

30、ofeatingahealthy iet.Thesecollectiveexperiencesgaveyouleaershipexperienceanleto your interest in nutrition as a fiel ofstuy.Youcanuseyouressaytoexplainanyacaemicchallengesyouhaveanwhy-anthusproviereasonsforanylowgraes.Youmightmention howyouhalimitetimetofocusonschoolbecauseyouwereworkingto contribut

31、e to your familys income. Any example such as this shoul emphasizewhatyoulearnefromtheexperienceanhowyouintentothisknowlegetohelpyousucceeincollege.Youcanalsouseyouressaytoexplainanyinstanceswhereyouhavesought eucational opportunities. If your high school ha a limite number of avancecollegepreparato

32、ryclassesbesuretomentionthis.Becauseofperhapsyouweremotivatetooinepenentreaingonyourownortake classesatyourlocalcommunitycollege.Thisshowsyourinitiativeanyour seriousness about youreucation.Lifeexperiences. 個人經(jīng)歷Taketimetoreflectonyourlife,ientifyingsomekeyaspectsofyourchilhoo anaolescence,aswellaspe

33、rsonalchallengesyoumayhaveovercome.Somestuentsarehesitanttosharetheirpersonalexperiences,buttheseexactly what the amissions committee wants to see. The reaers are especially intereste in your experiences because they reflect the unique aspectsofyourlife.Youmightbeginbyescribingobstaclesorbarrierstha

34、t you experience to higher eucation an then escribe how these circumstancesshapeyourfutureecisionsanstrengtheneyouresireto attencollege.Ifyouarefirstinyourfamilytoattencollege,besuretomentionthis,since yourpathtocollegehasbeenmorechallenginganifferentfromastuent whose parents are collegeeucate.Relat

35、eyourlifeexperiencestoyouracaemicancareergoals,asyouyour experiences together in your essay. For example, i a family harship makeyoumoreresilientormoresensitivetoothersorleatoyourinterestin health?Perhapscaringforayoungrelativewhohalungcancermaeyou awareoftheangersofsmokinganleyoutowriteasciencerepo

36、rtabout thepromotionofcigarettestoyouth.Thiscontributetoyourinterestinhealth care policy an selection of a college that offers fiel experiences, such as those with health avocacygroups.Intellectualcuriosity.You may be able to remember an experience that reflects your intellectual curiosity,suchasone

37、thathighlightsyourinterestinscienceanmeicine.A simple, orinary experience may provie an example. Suppose that uring highschoolyoubecamefascinatebytheintricaciesofthehumanboyan theinter-relationshipoftheorgansansystemsoftheboy.Youthenfouna bookinyourschoollibrarythathatransparentpagesthatpicturetheva

38、rious organsansystemsoftheboy.Asyoulaieachpageuponthenext,a complete human boy emerge. This fascinate you, but you were concerne thattheminwasnotrepresente.Youreturnetothisbookseveraltimes,alwaystowoneraboutthemissingelementsantheneeforthemental aspects of a person to be integrate with the physical

39、aspects. These concernsletoyourinterestinbothbasicansocialscienceclassesuringhighschool,ananinterestinacollegethatoffersclassesonthepsychosocial aspects ofhealth.Character.Writing about your personal backgroun gives you the chance to share aspects of your character that have helpe you through ifficu

40、lt life experiences.Theepisoesyouiscussshoulillustratepositiveaspectsof yourcharacter,suchasetermination,initiative,compassion,orleaership. Perhapsyousufferfromaphysicalhanicap.Thishasletoacompassionthosewithchronicinjuriesthatyoupursuebyvolunteeringatarehabilitation hospital. This soliifie your com

41、mitment to working with isable people as part of yourcareer.Humanitarianism/caringexperiences.Youressaymaymentionschoolancommunityservice,volunteerwork, churchactivities,ananyotherworkyouhaveonetoemonstrateyour involvement with your school an community. Some examples of effortsincluevolunteeringatah

42、omelessshelter,servingasaninterpreterat alocalclinic,orhelpingateacherstartanafterschooltutoringprogramforlow-incomeyouth.iscusswhatyoulearnefromtheseexperiencesanyoullrelatetheseexperiencestoyourfutureplansangoals.Leaership.Leaershipexamplescantakemanyforms.Itishelpfultoshowhowyour leaership evolve

43、 an grew stronger uring your high school years. For example,asaFreshman,youmayhavejoinetheschoolhealthclubanbeenelectetoanofficeasaSophomore.InyourJunioryearyoumayhave helpeplanancoorinateahealthfairthatincluestuentsfromseveral highschools.Leaershipoesnotnecessarilyhavetobesignificantpositions(sucha

44、s being stuent boy presient or a member of an awar-winning ebate club). Instea,youmayhavetakenaleaershiproleinyourfamily,peergroup, church,orneighborhoo.Haveyoucareforyoursistersanbrotherswhen yourparentswereatwork?Haveyoubeenamentortoayoungerpersonin yourcommunity?Haveyoueverorganizeagroupofstuents

45、toserveatahomelessshelter?Wereyouamemberofasportsteamwhereyouanmotivateyourteammates?Thesecanallbegreatexamplesof leaershipskills.Work or volunteerexperiences.oyouhaveanyworkorvolunteerexperiencerelatetothetypeofcareer youwanttopursue?Whatitheseexperiencesteachyouaboutyourself? itheexperiencesleatoc

46、lassesorotheractivitiesthathelpeyourefine yourcareerchoice?Perhapsyouhelpeateacherwhenheorsheorganize aseriesofeveningprogramsforlow-incomeparents.Thisexperienceyouthatyouenjoyteachinganinteractingwithpeoplefromiversecultures. Yourcurrentinterestincounseling,withanemphasisinreachinguneserve populati

47、ons,reflectsyourinvolvementwiththisprogram.Orperhapsyou completeasciencefairprojectonAISanthismotivateyoutovolunteer withanAISoutreachgroupatyourlocalcommunityclinic.Fromthiswork, youlearneaboutthehighratesofHIVinfectionamonghomelessyouth.You nowhopetotakecollegeclassesoninfectiousiseasesansocialpro

48、blems tohelpyouecieifyouareinteresteinacareerinsocialwork.Vision.oyouhaveasenseofwhatyouliketoointhefuture?Whatisyour visionregaringyourfurtheracaemictrainingoryourcareergoal?Explaining yourgoalsinyouressaycanbeawayforyoutoconvinceanamissions committeewhytheirschoolistherightplaceforyou.Forexample,ifyouwant tomajorinscienceaneventuallybecomeaoctor,youshoulmentionthat youareinteresteinacollegethathasastrongscienceepartmentan communityclinicalopportunities.Knowingwhataschoolhastooffercanbea waytoshowthatyouareaseriouscaniatewhohasoneyourhomework.Yourvisionmayberelativelygeneral,which