高三一輪復習讀后續(xù)寫四維度探究 課件

讀后續(xù)寫四維度探究開篇評分標準要求續(xù)寫內(nèi)容與所給短文融洽度高，內(nèi)容、語法結構和詞匯豐富、準確性高，也就是續(xù)寫內(nèi)容要與原文盡量做到內(nèi)容、結構和語言的協(xié)同。讀后續(xù)寫評分標準維度序號評價項目立意1緊扣主題，弘揚正能量2結尾合理、自然、故事完整邏輯3邏輯清晰，合理順承上文4與所提供的的段首句銜接合理內(nèi)容5適當?shù)挠行υ?烘托主題的場景描寫7增色的修辭手法8人物描寫外貌描寫9心理描寫10動作描寫語言11時態(tài)正確12詞匯準確、豐富、地道13有多種高級句式14有效使用語句間連接成分15拼寫、大小寫、標點無誤16150詞左右17書寫干凈、整潔、美觀評分標準詳細版01抓住基本要素，理清故事脈絡目錄02分析人物性格，明晰情節(jié)發(fā)展03賞析文本語言，習得文本表達04整體總結分析，確定續(xù)寫方向與框架抓住基本要素，理清故事脈絡01首先，解讀閱讀文本，關注文本的文體和文體特征，按照原文內(nèi)容、情節(jié)發(fā)展續(xù)寫文章，促進內(nèi)容和情節(jié)的協(xié)同。故事情節(jié)圖（記敘文）通過分析主題，明確文章主題，續(xù)寫不能偏離主題201320122011地點時間事情的起因事情的經(jīng)過人物事情的結果時間線索空間線索厘清記敘文的六要素AWiseDeer&ACowardlyTiger

2020年10月高三聯(lián)考讀后續(xù)寫(見附錄)WhoWhere

TaskI:ReadforplotsMotherdeerandherfawns(幼鹿);atiger;ajackal(胡狼)inthetiger’scaveMotherdeerwastryingtoleadherfawnsoutofthetiger’scavewhenshesawthetigercomingback.Whathappenedtoscarethetigerawaybypretendingtobeafierceanimalwaitingtokillitforfood.MotherdeerthetigerWhileescaping,thetigercameacrossajackal,whosuggestedtheygobacktothecavetofindoutthetruth.Thetigerdidn’tbelieveintheJackalWhathappenedJackalsuggestedknottingtheirtailstogetherandwalkingtowardsthecavetogether.thetigerthe

jackalWhathappenednext?Para.?1?The?deer?saw?the?jackal?and?the?tiger?coming?together.?Para.?2

The?tiger?was?shocked?to?hear?this?and?he?was?sure?now?the?jackal?cheated?him.?

whoMotherdeerandherfawns（幼鹿）;atiger;ajackal

(胡狼)

whenwhenthemotherdeerwastryingtoleadheryoungonesoutofthecave.whereinthetiger'scavekeyverbsleadoutof;raisedher

voice

andshouted;eat;runaway;walkelementsfrightened;cave;capture;agooddinner;Adangerousanimal;fiercerorstronger;knotour

tails

summaryofthestoryOnedaywhenmotherdeerwastryingtoleadheryoungonesoutofthecaveshesawthetigercomingtowardsit.Stayingcalm,shethoughtofaplantoscarethetigeraway.Whileescaping,thetigercameacrossajackalwhosuggestedtheygobacktofindoutthetruth.Inordertoconvincethetiger,thejackaltiedtheirtailsinaknotandthenwenttowardsthecavetogether.分析人物性格，明晰情節(jié)發(fā)展02研讀文本，分析文中人物的性格繼而推斷情節(jié)的發(fā)展。對人物性格的掌握有助于續(xù)寫中對人物準確、生動的描寫。從人物的動作、言語中和他人的評價中來分析人物的性格特點。It?was?dangerous?to?go?out?of?the?cave?now.She?thought?of?a?plan.The?tiger?heard?these?words?and?becamefrightened…tiger?began?to?run?away?from?there?as?fast?as?possible.The?cunning?jackal?was?now?sure?the?tiger?was?a?coward.”“But?the?tiger?said,?"I?do?not?want?to?take?a?chance.?You?may?run?away.?I?will?be?left?alone?to?die.?So,?I?will?not?come?with?you.010302根據(jù)原文描述，分析人物性格Motherdeerthetigerjackal很聰明和勇敢膽小怕事狡猾，同時從老虎的言語中可知老虎不信任胡狼thetigerclever/smart/intelligent,brave,staycalmindangercowardly,timidMotherdeerthe

jackalcunning(狡猾的)，notreliableintheeyesofthetigerHowfrightenedwouldthedeerfeelwhenseeingthetigerandthejackalcoming?Wouldthetigerhaveapeacefultalkwiththefierceanimalsincehewasafraidtobeeatenbyhim?Washeeasilyfooled?Ifheheardhewouldbeeaten,wouldhebelieveitandgetscared?賞析文本語言，習得文本表達03“內(nèi)容要創(chuàng)造，語言要模仿，創(chuàng)造與模仿要緊密結合。(王初明)挖掘文本語言表達風格，模仿原文語言寫句子。使續(xù)寫部分的語言風格與原文的風格相一致，以促進語言協(xié)同。Thedeerraisedhervoiceandshouted,“Mydeeryoung?childrendonotweep.Ishallcapture(捕捉)atigerforyouto?eat.Youcanhaveagooddinner.”模仿并續(xù)寫：Sheshoutedtowardsherchildrenstandinginsidethecave，“Mydearchildren,Irequestedmyfriend,thecleverjackal,tocaptureatigerforus.”語言表達風格故事敘述風格，含一些對話；語言簡潔，簡單句居多。主要時態(tài)和語態(tài)一般過去時；主動語態(tài)主要句式摘記?Thedeerwasfrightenedbecause...(原因狀語從句)?

Fortunately,thetigerwasnot...(adv,+句子)?Thedeerwastryingto...whensheheard...(時間狀語從句）④Thecunningjackalwasnowsurethetigerwas....(賓語從句）分類整理并積累材料、摘抄好詞好句各類描寫動作：?Theyoungoneswanderedhappilyhereandthere.?Thedeerwastryingtoleadheryoungonesoutofthecave?whensheheardaloudroar.??Thetigerbegantorunawayfromthereasfastaspossible.?語言：?

“Myfriend,apowerfulandfierceanimalisinmycave.The?youngonesarecryingforatigertoeat.Themotherispromisingtocaptureatigerforthem.So,Iamrunningaway.”?“Don'tbeafraid.Noanimalisfiercerorstrongerthanatiger.?Letusgotogethertofindout.”心理：Thedeerwasfrightened...環(huán)境：

?Therewasathickforestonthesidesofamountain.Manykindsofanimalslivedintheforest.?Therewerebonesofdeadanimalsalloverthecave.修辭手法擬人手法(把動物當作人來描寫，像人一樣說話、行動；賦予有生命的動物以人的稟性，使之像人一樣有思想、有感情。)整體總結分析，確定續(xù)寫方向與框架04續(xù)寫不是隨心所欲、任意的發(fā)揮，而是研讀文本后根據(jù)所提供的兩段段首的內(nèi)容進行創(chuàng)造續(xù)寫。人物性格和情節(jié)創(chuàng)設要與原文相吻合。段首對續(xù)寫起到一定的導向和限制作用。第一段續(xù)寫內(nèi)容可以根據(jù)已知情節(jié)和第二段段首句推斷第一段可能的情節(jié)發(fā)展。同時第一段的段尾又要和第二段段首緊密銜接。para1:Thedeersawthejackalandthetigercomingtogether.para2:Thetigerwasshockedtohearthisandhewassurenowthejackalcheatedhim.1.Whatdidthedeersaythatshockedthetigerandconvincedhimthathewascheatedbythejackal?1.Howdidthetigerfeelandwhatwouldhedo?2.Whatthejackaldidtothetigerjustnow?2.Whatwouldhappentothetiger,thejackalandthedeerintheend?3.Howwouldthejackalcheatthetigerbydoingso?3.Whatthemesorideasdoesthearticlewanttoconvey？根據(jù)所給材料和兩段段首內(nèi)容，發(fā)散思維提出疑問，最后通過識別和分析每種故事續(xù)寫的合理性，依據(jù)自己的價值傾向最終確定續(xù)寫的結尾。故事結尾不僅要使文章結局合理，而且要渲染、升華主題。最后，文末以“Presenceofmindandintelligencecansaveonefromdangeroussituations.”升華主題。此外，根據(jù)生活常識、社會經(jīng)驗和背景知識，合理地豐富故事情節(jié)和寫作細節(jié)。閱讀文學原著，培養(yǎng)語感和文學修養(yǎng)積累記敘文、故事方面的詞匯、句型和語段重視細節(jié)描寫，以動作描寫、語言描寫和心理描寫為主以恰當?shù)耐饷裁鑼懞铜h(huán)境描寫為輔備考具體做法Therewasathickforestonthesidesofamountain.Manykindsofanimalslivedintheforest.Adeerwaseatinggrassandleaveswithhertwoyoungones.Theyoungoneswanderedhappilyhereandthere.Thedeerfollowedherfawns(幼鹿)intoacave.Thedeerwasfrightenedbecauseitwasatiger’scave.Therewerebonesofdeadanimalsalloverthecave.Fortunately,thetigerwasnotinsidethecaveatthetime.Thedeerwastryingtoleadheryoungonesoutofthecavewhensheheardaloudroar.Shesawthetigeratadistancecomingtowardsthecave.Itwasdangeroustogooutofthecavenow.Shethoughtofaplan.Thedeerraisedhervoiceandshouted,“Mydeeryoungchildrendonotweep.Ishallcapture(捕捉)atigerforyoutoeat.Youcanhaveagooddinner.”

附錄原文

Thetigerheardthesewordsandbecamefrightened.Hethought,“Whoseisthatstrangevoicefromthecave?Adangerousanimalisstayinginsidetocaptureme.Ishallrunawaytoescapedeath.”Thetigerbegantorunawayfromthereasfastaspossible. Ajackal(胡狼)sawtherunningtiger.“Whyareyourunningingreatfear?”