【公開課課件】讀后續(xù)寫：烘焙店

2021.04廣二模讀后續(xù)寫4R解讀、3大原則、2句提示和1個好結(jié)尾（4321法）“4321”method4Rs3principles2

givensentences1goodendingReadfortheplot/emotionalchange/conflict/theme1.action-response2.conflict-solution3.negative-positiveAramandRossi'sBakeryWalkingalongthenarrowbricksidewalk,Aramtookadeepbreath.Theairsmelledoflemonsandbakedbreadandcoffee,comingfromRossi'sItalianBakery.Hewasalmostthere.Aramstillcouldn'tbelievehisluck.Allhisfriendswereworkingboringsummerjobs-waitingtablesandbabysitting.Andherehewas,abouttostartasanactualbaker'sassistant,doingwhatheloved.ItwasallthankstohisAuntRita.SheknewMrsRossiandhadarrangedeverything.Itwastheperfectexperienceforhisfuturecareer.Rossi'sBakery,hewassure,wouldonedaybeknownastheplacewherehegothisstart.Ah,herehewas-thebakery.Afadedwoodensignoverthedoorread"Rossi'sBakery."Aramstraightenedhisshouldersandentered.MrsRossiwassittingatthecounter,lookingoldandwise.Aramgreetedherandstuckouthishand.MrsRossilookedatitforasecondbeforeturningaroundandwavinghiminside."I'mreadytolearneverything,"Aramsaid."Great.Let'sstartwiththecashregister,"MrsRossisaid,"becausethat'swhatyou'llbedoing."Sheshowedhimhowtousethecashregister.Itwasn'thard.Thepastrytrayswereallmarkedbyprice,andthereweren'tthatmanychoicesanyway."That'sit?"Aramsaid,hisheartsinking."Butwhendowebake?""Bake?Iorderwholesalenow.Nomorebaking.I'mtooold."ThenMrsRossisilentlyheldupherhands.Aramtookinherknotted,swollenfingers,andheunderstood.Awaveofdisappointmentstruckhim.Sadnessoverwhelmedhimsosuddenlythathecouldn'tthinkofawordtosay.Hesighed,andMrsRossisighed,too."Iusedtobakeitall.Breadandcakes.Andnoonediditbetterthanme.Butthatwaswhenthesethingsworked,"saidMrsRossiholdingupherhandsoncemoreandglancingacrosstheshelvesfilledwithemptybottleslabelledwithnamesofthevariousingredients(配料)sheonceused.Suddenlyshecamealive,wavingherarthritic(關(guān)節(jié)炎的)hands."Peopleusedtolineuparoundthecorner.Everyonewantedmybakedbread."ElementsofastoryWho

When

Where

What

AramandMrs.Rossi

duringsummerholidayRossi'sItalianBakery?Step1Analyzethestorywith4RsReadfortheplot/emotionalchange/conflict/themeReadforplotandemotionalchangeExposition(情節(jié)交代)Risingaction(conflict激化)Climax(conflict最大化/turningpoint轉(zhuǎn)折點)Fallingaction(conflict緩延)Resolution(conflict解開)Denouement(結(jié)尾)Para1：ThenathoughtoccuredtoAramthathecouldaskMrsRossitoteachhim.Para2：MrsRossifinallysaid,"Let’sbuytheingredientsfirst."Aramwantedtostartasanactualbaker'sassistant.Mrs.RossitoldAramtoworkasthecashregister.AramunderstoodthereasonwhyMrs.Rossiquitbaking.hopefuldisappointedsadconflictAramMrsRossiabouttostartasanactualbaker'sassistant“Let'sstartwiththecashregister.”readytolearneverything“Nomorebaking.I'mtooold.”“Iusedtobakeitall.”Readforconflictandtheme1.Whatistheconflict?AramwantedtolearneverythingaboutbakeryfromMrsRossi,butMrsRossididn’tbakeanymore.2.Whatisthetheme?Andherehewas,abouttostartasanactualbaker'sassistant,doingwhatheloved.Itwastheperfectexperienceforhisfuturecareer.Rossi'sBakery,hewassure,wouldonedaybeknownastheplacewherehegothisstart."I'mreadytolearneverything,"Aramsaid."Bake?Iorderwholesalenow.Nomorebaking.I'mtooold.""Iusedtobakeitall.Breadandcakes.Andnoonediditbetterthanme.Butthatwaswhenthesethingsworked,"saidMrsRossi.Suddenlyshecamealive,wavingherarthritic(關(guān)節(jié)炎的)hands."Peopleusedtolineuparoundthecorner.Everyonewantedmybakedbread."Para1：ThenathoughtoccuredtoAramthathecouldaskMrsRossitoteachhim.Para2：MrsRossifinallysaid,"Let’sbuytheingredientsfirst."1.Oneshouldsticktohis/herdreamnomatterwhathappens.2.Oneshouldkeeplearningwhathe/shelikestoenrichhis/herlife.3.TheirloveforbakeryandtheirdreamtorejuvenatetheRossi’sBakerycoincided.4....Step2

Frameyouressaywith2givensentencesand3principlesPara1：ThenathoughtoccuredtoAramthathecouldaskMrsRossitoteachhim.Para2：MrsRossifinallysaid,"Let’sbuytheingredientsfirst."Focus:AramaskedMrsRossitoteachhim.1.WhatdidAramdoandsaythen?2.WhatwasMrsRossi’sresponse?3.Howtoendthisparagraph?3principles:1.action-response2.conflict-solution3.negative-positiveFocus:AramaskedMrsRossitoteachhim.1.WhatwasAram’sresponse?2.Whatwouldtheydothen?3.Whatwastheendingofthestory?action-responsenegative-positiveconflict-solutionMrsRossiwassurprisedtohearthat.表達程度（使用副詞）MrsRossifeltoverwhelmingly

surprised.添加情感（使用形容詞）HearingwhatAramsaid,MrsRossistoodstill,surprised.添加身體反應、肢體語言（使用獨立主格結(jié)構(gòu)/with結(jié)構(gòu)/so...that/分詞/修辭）MrsRossiopenedhermouth,unabletoutteraword/completelyspeechless(說不出話來).Withhermouthhangingopen(她張大嘴),shefroze,wonderinghowtoreplytoAram’swords.Sosurprisedwasshethatshestoodtherestill(她是如此驚訝以至靜靜地站在那),feelingspeechless.Raisinghereyebrowsinsurprise,(驚訝地抬起眉毛)MrsRossifroze,asifrootedontheground.

WriteabouttheemotionoftheroleIgotthemilkandfoureggsandthesugar.Thehardestpartwouldbebreakingtheeggsontheedgeofthebowl.I

sifted(篩)theflourandbakingpowdertogetherfirst.Andsalt.Iparticularlyrememberedthatbecauseitseemedstrangetoputsaltinacake.Iputallingredientstogetherandmixedthem.Itlookedcreamyanddelicious.Ipoureditintothebakingpanandputitintotheoven.Afterwefinishedtidyingup,Iopenedtheovendoorandpeeked.Thecakehadrisenandturnedtan.WithhotpadsIcarefullytookitoutandputitonthetable.--浙江省“七彩陽光”新高考研究聯(lián)盟期中聯(lián)考

Suddenly,anideawasstartingtoforminmyhead.“Whynotmakeagiftbyhand?”Isuggestedinahopefulvoice.“Acake!Momhasboughtsomeflourtomakeacake!"Aidensprangupfromhischair,hiseyessparklingexcitedly.AtdeepmidnightwhenMomwassoundasleep,weslippedoutofthebedandtiptoedintothekitchen.Withalltheingredientsneededprepared,wegotdowntomakingacake.Thewholehousewasquietexceptfortheslightsoundmadebyus.AidenwasbusyaddingtheingredientstotheflourwhileIwaskeepingstirringthem.Tooursatisfaction,whenthecakewastakenoutoftheoven,thekitchenwasfloodedwiththesweetfregrancefromit.WriteaboutthesceneofmakingcakesStep3

Finishyouressaywithgoodending對話式結(jié)尾：Aramsaid,“Thanks,MrsRossi,forteachingmehowtomakeacake.”感悟式結(jié)尾：ItdawnedonAramthat“Oneshouldsticktohis/herdreamnomatterwhathappens.”環(huán)境襯托式結(jié)尾：Outsidethebakery,thebirdsperchingonthetopofthebrancheschirrupedhappily,asifcelebratingtheirachievement.

回首過去式結(jié)尾：Manyyearshavepassed,lookingatthesign“AramandRossi'sBakery”hangingoutsidetheirshop,hewasfullofappreciationaboutthisplacewherehegothisstartasarealbaker.自然結(jié)尾：Rowsofpeoplelinedeverycornerofthebakeryagain,

andthefadedwoodsignshinedagainwithanewname“AramandRossi'sBakery”.

Onegoodendingsb.suddenlyrealizedthat../sb.becameawareof…Ithit/struck/occurredto/dawnedonsb.that...AppreciationPossibleversion

Para1：ThenathoughtoccuredtoAramthathecouldaskMrsRossitoteachhim.Hesitatingforawhile,hepluckedupallhiscouragetospeaktoMrsRossi,“MrsRossi,I’mnotheretobeacasier,Iamheretolearntobeabaker.Couldyoupleaseteachme?”Raisinghereyebrowsinsurprise,MrsRossifroze,asifrootedontheground.Scratchingherknotted,swollenfingers,shesighed,“Iamtoooldtodothisnow.Lookatmyhands!”“ButIcanbeyourhands!”Aramrepliedwithtrembl