專題六寫作-讀后續(xù)寫

專題六寫作第二節(jié)一一■讀后續(xù)寫.把脈考情明考向.知規(guī)律新高考命題探究一一以浙江卷3年高考為例一項目卷別寫作文體命題類型材料詞數(shù)主題范圍2020-模擬卷敘事類記敘文半開放330人與自我?我和流浪狗的故事2018年6月故事類記敘文半開放類320人與自我?父親帶兒子去體驗農(nóng)場生活2017年11月故事類記敘文半開放類338人與自我?和父母一塊去旅游的故事2017年6月故事類記敘文半開放類344人與自我?和朋友一起騎車游玩，野外遇到狼的故事2016年10月故事類記敘文半開放類332人與自我?野外游玩，女主人迷路在野外獨自過夜的故事綜合分析上表并結(jié)合最新考綱和2020年模擬卷，我們可以大膽預(yù)測2020年新高考讀后續(xù)寫會有以下命題特征：.寫作文體寫作文體仍然會繼續(xù)考查敘事類文體，所選材料一定具有更強的故事性、邏輯性?????的特點。.命題形式要求考生依據(jù)所給材料內(nèi)容和段落開頭語進(jìn)行續(xù)寫（150詞左右），將其發(fā)展成一篇與給定材料有邏輯銜接、情節(jié)和結(jié)構(gòu)完整的短文。所給的段落提示句均是故事情節(jié)發(fā)展的過程句，對續(xù)寫故事的發(fā)展有提示、引導(dǎo)和限制作用。明年續(xù)寫部分的設(shè)置會更合理，這樣才能更好地激發(fā)學(xué)生的想象力，學(xué)生都有話可說，有內(nèi)容可寫。.主題范圍主題范圍將仍然圍繞人與自我、人與社會、人與自然三大主題，內(nèi)容來自學(xué)生的???? ???? ???? ???實際生活或是學(xué)生關(guān)心的話題。續(xù)寫話題將會更加彰顯人性光輝，體現(xiàn)人與自然???????????和諧相處的文章出現(xiàn)的可能性非常大，因為這樣的文章更適合考查學(xué)生的邏輯思維、評判性思維和創(chuàng)新思維能力。I真題再做北能力.知不足A閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。續(xù)寫的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。（2020?模擬卷）Thoughitisoneofthefadedmemoriesofmylifetoday,therearetimeswhenIrememberhisfaceclearly,especiallyhiseyes.AshehadyellowspotsonhiseyeswecalledhimSpotty.Hewouldhavebeenastray前浪）dog,untilhecametome.Iwassevenyearsold.MydadhadjustgotanewjobinNasik.Wehadmovedintoarentedhouse.Itwasrainingveryheavilyonthedaywemoved.Itwasacolddarknight.Wehadourmealandwenttosleep.SomehowinthemidnightIheardsomestrangesoundsoutsidethemaindoor.IgatheredcourageandlookedoutthroughthewindowandIwasreallyamusedwithwhatIsawoutside.Therewasasmallpuppylyingonanolddoormatwhichmymotherhadputoutsidethedoor.Itwaswetandtrembling.Atfirstitwasdifficulttoseethelittleone.Itwastheyellowspotsonitseyesthatmademerealizeitspresence.ItwastryingtogetunderthedoormattoavoidthecoldairoutsideandithadmanagedtogetinasIcouldseeonlyitsheadoutsidethedoormat.Wasitsickorinjured?Ifeltpityforthepoorsoul.Iwentinandcameoutwithanoldtowel.Iwentneartheinnocentoneandhelditinmyhandandwipedthepuppytillhehadbecomedry.Itookhimintomyroomandmadeabedforhimwithawoolenblanketandasmallpillow.Heseemedveryhealthyandcomfortableinhisnewbedashewenttosleepimmediately.Thenextmorning,everyoneinthefamilycametoknowabouttheunusualguest."Shallwekeephimwithus?”Iquestionedmymom.Likeanyotherparentswould,myparentsfirsttotallyrefusedmyideabutmysisterandIconvincedthemtokeepSpotty.SlowlySpottygotonwitheveryoneandbecameoneofthefamilymembers.Paragraph1：DayspassedonandoneeveningwhenSpottyreturnedfromhislongwalk,heappearedveryexhausted.Paragraph2：Almostayearlater,onemidnightweheardSpottybarkingbreathlessly.【參考范文】Paragraph1：Dayspassed__on_and_one__evening_when__Spotty_returned__fromhislongwalk,heappearedveryexhausted.Hecametomyroomandsatnearme.ItwasthenthatIsawhishindlegwasinjuredandwasbleeding.Icalledoutmymotherandshequicklytiedabandagearoundhislegandgavehimfoodtoeat.Iwasveryupset.Butthenextday,Spottywasuptohisusualpranksthoughhelimpedabit.AfterthisincidentmyrelationwithSpottybecamemoreintense.Ireallyadmiredhimalotforhiscourage.Paragraph2：Almostayearlater,onemidnightweheardSpottybarkingbreathlessly.Wecameoutandsawthathewasbarkingcontinuouslyheadingsomewhere.AftersometimeSpottybecamequiet.Ipattedhimonhisbackandcameinside.Thenextdaymorning,myheartskippedabeatwhenIdidn,tseeSpotty.Isearchedforhimineachandeverycornerbuthewasnowhere.Andthistimehehadgoneandwouldnevercomeback.Icriedandwaitedforhim.Wewaitedforonelongweek.Buttherewerenosignsofhim.ThenonedaymyDadgottransferredtoMumbai.WeshiftedbacktoMumbai.WhatwouldhavehappenedtoSpotty?Wouldhehavedied?Theseweretheonlyquestionsinmymind,buttheyallremainedunansweredforever.B閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個完整的故事。（2018年6月.浙江高考）Itwassummer,andmydadwantedtotreatmetoavacationlikeneverbefore.HedecidedtotakemeonatriptotheWildWest.WetookaplanetoAlbuquerque,abigcityinthestateofNewMexico.WereachedAlbuquerqueinthelateafternoon.Uncle二Paul,mydad,sfriend,pickedusupfromtheairportanddroveusuptohisfarminPecos.HiswifeTinacookedusadeliciousdinnerandwegottoknowhissonsRyanandKyle.MydadandIspentthenightintheguestroomofthefarmhouselisteningtothefrogsandwaterrollingdowntherivernearby.Veryearlyinthemorning,UnclePaulwokeusuptohavebreakfast.“Thedaystartsatdawnonmyfarm，”hesaid.Afterbreakfast,IwenttohelpAuntTinafeedthechickens,whilemydadwentwithUnclePaultotakethesheepouttograze（吃草）1wasimpressedtoseemydadandUnclePaulridinghorses.Theylookedreallycool.Intheafternoon,IaskedUnclePaulifIcouldtakeahorseride,andhesaidyes,aslongasmydadwentwithme.Iwasn,tgoingtotakeahorseridebymyselfanyway.So,mydadandIputonournewcowboyhats,gotonourhorses,andheadedslowlytowardsthemountains.“Don,tbelateforsupper，”UnclePaulcried,“andkeeptothetracksothatyoudon,tget10st！”“OK！”mydadcriedback.AfterawhileUnclePaulandhisfarmhousewereoutofsight.Itwassopeacefulandquietandthecolorsofthebrownrocks,thedeepgreenpinetrees,andthelateafternoonsunmixedtocreateamagicscene.Itlookedlikeabeautifulwoven（編織的）blanketspreadoutuponthegroundjustforus.注意：1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；.至少使用5個短文中標(biāo)有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞語；.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語已為你寫好；.續(xù)寫完成后，請用下劃線標(biāo)出你所使用的關(guān)鍵詞語。Paragraph1：Suddenlyalittlerabbitjumpedoutinfront0fmyhorse.Paragraph2：Wehadnoideawherewewereanditwasgettingdark.【文章大意】父親帶兒子去西部荒野的一個朋友家喂雞牧羊，體驗農(nóng)場生活，見父親和叔叔騎馬很是瀟灑，兒子也很想騎，于是親身上馬體驗……【寫作指導(dǎo)】 第一段所給首句Suddenlyalittlerabbitjumpedoutinfrontofmyhorse.是故事發(fā)展的轉(zhuǎn)折點，可從rabbit出現(xiàn)后帶來的結(jié)果入手，可以寫馬受到驚嚇狂奔而去，也可以寫人的反應(yīng)，無論從何角度拓展，需注意與續(xù)寫第二段首句呼應(yīng)。第二段首句Wehadnoideawherewewereanditwasgettingdark.呼應(yīng)前文UnclePaul的叮囑——不要耽誤吃晚飯，可從如何尋路返回農(nóng)場來寫。已給提示詞匯：dad，UnclePaul，farmhouse，river，feed，sheep，late，track，getlost，sight話題激活詞匯：情感：panic，relief，nervous，worried；動作：run，cry，thinktooneself；環(huán)境：shower，mountain，forest，valley，tree，lake，sun【參考范文1】Paragraph1：Suddenlyalittlerabbitjumpedoutinfrontofmyhorse.DadandIfounditwassocutethatwedecidedtochaseit.Afterawhile,wewerecompletely10stintheforest.Therewasnothingleftinoursightbutthetrees."Wemaynotbeabletomakeitbacktothefarmhouseintimeforsupper.”Ithoughttomyself.Afteraseriesoffruitlessattemptstofindawayout,wefelthungryandtired.Paragraph2：Wehadnoideawherewewereanditwasgettingdark.Wegotstuckintheforest.Andanunexpectedshoweraddedtoourdifficultyinfindingawayhome,forallthetrackswehadmadedisappearedbecauseoftherain.Iwasalmostontheedgeofbreakingdownwhenmyfathersaid,“Don,tworry,myson.Irememberthereisarivernearthefarmhouse.Findtheriverandwewillbebackhome.”Finally,wefoundtheriverandgotbacktothehousealongit.Needlesstosay,weatealatedinner.【參考范文2】Paragraph1：Suddenlyalittlerabbitjumpedoutinfrontofmyhorse.MyhorseturnedtothelefttoavoidthelittlerabbitasIheldontightlyandtriednottofall.Thenmydadturnedaroundandshouted,“Holdon!”Allofasuddenthehorsebegantorun.Mydadtriedtokeepupbehindus.Forafewminutesmyhorsesloweddownandthenstoppedbesideariver.Ilookedaroundandrealizedthatwewereawayoffthetrack.Paragraph2：Wehadnoideawherewewereanditwasgettingdark.Luckilythestarscameoutandgaveusalittlelightwhenwewerelookingforthewaytothefarmhouse.Afterwhatmusthavebeenseveralhours,wesuddenlyheardthesoundofsheepinthedistance.MydadandIbothrodeourhorsestowardsthesoundofthesheep.AswegotcloserwesawUnclePaulwithaflashlightwavingusover.Whatanight!C閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個完整的故事。（2017年11月.浙江高考）AVacationwithMyMotherIhadaninterestingchildhood:Itwasfilledwithsurprisesandamusements，allbecauseofmymother-loving，sweet，yetabsent-mindedandforgetful.OnestrangefamilytripwetookwhenIwaseleventellsalotabouther.MytwosetsofgrandparentslivedinColoradoandNorthDakota,andmyparentsdecidedtospendafewweeksdrivingtothosestatesandseeingallthesightsalongtheway.Asthefirstdayofourtripapproached,David,myeight-year-oldbrother,andIunwillinglysaidgood-byetoallofourfriends.Whoknewifwe,deverseethemagain?Finally,themomentofourdeparturearrived,andweloadedsuitcases,books,games,campingequipment,andatentintothecarandbravelydroveoff.Webravelydroveoffagaintwohourslaterafterwe,dreturnedhometogetthepurseandtraveler,schecksMomhadforgotten.DavidandIwerealwaysalittlenervouswhenusinggasstationbathroomsifMomwasdrivingwhileDadslept:“Youstandoutsidethedoorandplaylookout（放哨）whileIgo,andI,llstandoutsidethedoorandplaylookoutwhileyougo."Ihadterriblepicturesinmymind:“Honey,wherearethekids?”“What?!Oh,Gosh...Ithoughttheywerebeingawfullyquiet."Wewereneveractuallyleftbehindinastrangecity,butweweren,tabouttotakeanychances.Onthefourthorfifthnight,wehadtroublefindingahotelwithavacancy.Afterdrivinginvainforsometime,Momsuddenlygotagreatidea:Whydidn'twefindahousewithalikely-lookingbackyardandaskifwecouldsetuptentthere?DavidandIbecamenervous.Toourgreatrelief,Dadturneddowntheidea.Momnevercouldunderstandourobjections.Ifastrangefamilyshoweduponherfrontdoorstep,Momwouldhavebeendelighted.Shethinkseveryoneintheworldisasniceassheis.Wefinallyfoundavacancyinthenexttown.注意：1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;.至少使用5個短文中標(biāo)有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞語;.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語已為你寫好;.續(xù)寫完成后，請用下劃線標(biāo)出你所使用的關(guān)鍵詞語。Paragraph1:Thenextdaywerememberedthebrand-newtentwehadbroughtwithus.Paragraph2：Wedrovethroughseveralstatesandsawlotsofgreatsightsalongtheway.【文章大意】童年總是充滿驚喜和歡樂，皆因母親可愛又迷糊健忘的性格。出發(fā)兩小時后又返回家中，因為媽媽忘了錢包等。兄弟倆對母親的粗心大意可謂是心有余悸，生怕媽媽把他們落在加油站的廁所里獨自上路，以至于上廁所要輪流“放哨”。媽媽是善良的，自然認(rèn)為所有人都和自己一樣善良，所以在找不到有空房的酒店時，媽媽提議去別人的院子里搭帳篷。兄弟倆很緊張，還好爸爸否決了這個提議。最終一家人還是住進(jìn)了酒店……【寫作指導(dǎo)】Paragraph1的開頭是“第二天，我們想起了我們帶來的嶄新的帳篷”。本段開頭給考生提供了廣闊的想象空間。既然記起了帳篷，那么可以圍繞帳篷展開段落，可以體現(xiàn)母親的“健忘”，也可突出母親的“善良”，落腳點放在一些比較有趣的事上，與第一段中的surpriseandamusements呼應(yīng)。Paragraph2的開頭是“我們開車經(jīng)過了好幾個州，沿途看到了許多風(fēng)景名勝”。與前文“意外不斷”不同，本段畫風(fēng)突變，轉(zhuǎn)而寫風(fēng)景，續(xù)寫可往心情愉悅的方面寫。此處可以用一些描述景色環(huán)境的表達(dá)來烘托氛圍，最終可把故事的落腳點放在“親情，生活的樂趣，母親的趣事”等方面。已給提示詞匯：absent-minded，forgetful，trip，David，camping，tent，Mom，Dad，trouble，nice話題激活詞匯：情感：happy，glad，wonderful，terrific，great；動作：laugh，smile；交通、旅行：drive，pullover，setthebrake，setout，setoff，trip，journey；環(huán)境：scenery，mountain，range，valley，river，lake，forest，sun，wind，blow【參考范文1】Paragraph1：Thenextdaywerememberedthebrand-newtentwehadbroughtwithus.Butthenwewerehalfanhourawayfromthehotel，wherethetentwasleftbehind.Dadrecommendedbuyinganewone，whileMominsistedonourgoingbacktofetchit，saying，”Forgetfulpeoplelikememaylosethingsrepeatedly，soit’sunwisetogiveupthetent."Finally,wegotbackthetentandhittheroadagain.IfMomhadn,tbeenthatabsent-minded,itwouldhavesavedusthetroubleofgoingbackagainandagain.Paragraph2：Wedrovethroughseveralstatesandsawlotsofgreatsightsalongtheway.Oneday,towardsevening,wefoundagreatcampingsiteatthefootofahighmountain.DavidandIhelpedDadputupthetent,andMomwasbusypreparingsupper.Whenthesettingsuncastanorangelightoverthemountains,thetentwassetupandthemealwasready.Sittingaroundthecampfire,wetalkedandlaughed.EverytimewementionedthefunnyincidentsofthejourneyapleasantsmilewouldspreadoverMom,sface.【參考范文2】Paragraph1：Thenextdaywerememberedthebrand-newtentwehadbroughtwithus.Toourdelight,Momgaveuptheideaofcampinginsomestranger,sbackyard.Instead,wefoundawonderfulcampingsiteinthewild.Itwasaclearinginthewoodsbyasmalllake,whereDadcouldcatchsomefishfordinner.Wehadnotroublesettingupourtent,butweweredisappointedtofindthatMomforgottopackuppillows.Needlesstosay,weallwokeupwithasoreneckthenextmorning.Paragraph2：Wedrovethroughseveralstatesandsawlotsofgreatsightsalongtheway.Itwasafantastictrip.Wecrossedbigriversandvastplains,climbedhighmountains,andoverlookeddeepvalleys.Duringthetrip,Mom,sbeingabsent-mindednotonlygotusintomuchtrouble,butalsogaveusmanyfunnymoments.Butluckily,shewasnotsoforgetfulastoleavemeandDavidbehindinthegasstationbathrooms.Weallarrivedatgrandparents,homesafeandsound.D閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個完整的故事。（2016年10月?浙江高考）OneweekendinJuly,Janeandherhusband,Tom,haddriventhreehourstocampovernightbyalakeintheforest.Unfortunately,onthewayanunpleasantsubjectcameupandtheystartedtoquarrel.Bythetimetheyreachedthelake,JanewassoangrythatshesaidtoTom,“I'mgoingtofindabetterspotforuSandcampwalkedaway.Withnopathtofollow,Janejustwalkedonforquitealongtime.Aftershehadclimbedtoahighplace,sheturnedaround,hopingtoseethelake.Tohersurprise,shesawnothingbutforestand,farbeyond,asnowcappedmountaintop.Shesuddenlyrealizedthatshewaslost.“Tom!”shecried.“Help!”Noreply.IfonlyshehadnotlefthermobilephoneinthatbagwithTom.Janekeptmoving,butthefarthershewalked,themoreconfusedshebecame.Asnightwasbeginningtofall,Janewassotiredthatshehadtostopforthenight.Lyingawakeinthedark,JanewantedverymuchtobewithTomandherfamily.Shewantedtoholdhimandtellhimhowmuchshelovedhim.Janeroseatthebreakofday,hungryandthirsty.Shecouldhearwatertrickling^落）somewhereatadistance.Quicklyshefollowedthesoundtoastream.Tohergreatjoy,shealsosawsomeberrybushes.Shedrankandateafewberries.Neverinherlifehadshetastedanythingbetter.Feelingstrongernow,Janebegantowalkalongthestreamandhopeitwouldleadhertothelake.Asshepickedherwaycarefullyalongthestream,Janeheardahelicopter.Isthatforme?Unfortunately,thetreesmadeitimpossibleforpeopletoseeherfromabove.Afewminuteslater,anotherhelicopterflewoverhead.Janetookoffheryellowblouse,thinkingthatsheshouldgotoanopenareaandflagthemiftheycamebackagain.注意：1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；.至少使用5個短文中標(biāo)有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞語；.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語已為你寫好；.續(xù)寫完成后，請用下劃線標(biāo)出你所使用的關(guān)鍵詞語。Paragraph1：Butnomorehelicoptercameanditwasgettingdarkagain.Paragraph2：ItwasdaybreakwhenJanewokeup.【文章大意】主人公Jane和丈夫去野營，途中發(fā)生爭吵，Jane離開宿營地，導(dǎo)致迷路。她沒帶手機，又找不到歸路，所以只能在森林里過了一個晚上。第二天她發(fā)現(xiàn)一條小溪，打算順著小溪走，這時聽到有直升機的聲音，但是直升機沒看到她……【寫作指導(dǎo)】根據(jù)第一段的首句可知，本段應(yīng)該描述當(dāng)天晚上Jane的心態(tài)和行動。而根據(jù)第二段的提示句可知，本段主要敘述Jane最終是如何獲救的。當(dāng)然，在續(xù)寫中，一定要反映出Jane的堅韌和聰明，同時，最后一定要有Tom努力救援的信息，這樣的續(xù)寫故事結(jié)尾才有正能量。已給提示詞匯：Jane，Tom，lake，walk，climb，atadistance，stream，tohergreatjoy，helicopter，yellowblouse話題激活詞匯：環(huán)境：forest，stream，rock，berry，valley，steep，cave，lake，waterfall；困難：hunger，starve，thirsty，injure，broken，blood，panic，shelter，survive，suffer，cold，severe；活動：walk，climb，fall，crawl，taste，attempt，struggletoone,sfeet，makeone,swayto，pickup；情緒：toone’sgreatjoy，break~。亞口；救援：rescueteam，doctor，searchfor，spot；意志品質(zhì)：calm，courage，will；評價：amazing，makeit【參考范文1】Paragraph1：Butnomorehelicoptercameanditwasgettingdarkagain.Sheknewthatshedidn'tdaretostayhereforalongtimebecausemaybethereweresomedangerousanimalsintheforest.Soshecontinuedtoclimb.Tohergreatjoy，shehadsomewatertodrinkandsomewildfruittoeatthere.Afterthat，ittookherthreehourstowalkintheforestalongthelake.Feelingverytired,shesoonfellasleep.Paragraph2：ItwasdaybreakwhenJanewokeup.Shebegantothinkawaytosaveherself.First,shefoundagoodplacenearbythelake,whereshecouldbefoundwithheryellow blouse.Forthreehours,nohelicopters.Then,shethoughtofaspecialwayshehadlearnedinherfirstaidclass.Maybeitwasfirethatcoulddrawthehelicopter'sattention.Thenshemadeafireandbeforelongahelicopterappearedaboveintheskyandtherescuingteamtogetherwithhishusband,Tom,cametosaveher.【參考范文2】Paragraph1：Butnomorehelicoptercameanditwasgettingdarkagain.Janewassotired,hungry,andextremelyfrightened.Shethoughttoherself,“IfonlyIhadnotquarrelledwithTom.WhereisTom?Hemusthavemadetheemergencycall.WhatIneedisenoughcourage.IfIcontinuemyspiritstomorrow,Iwillbelikelytoguidethehelicopter.”Lyingbesidethestream,shefellasleepverysoon.Suddenly,sheheardtheshoutsoftigers,whichmadeherscaredtodeath.Aftersheheldherbreathforafewminutes,everythingwasquietagain.Intheterribledarkness,shesleptagain.Paragraph2：ItwasdaybreakwhenJanewokeup.Shecaughtsightofafishermanatadistance,—with whosehelpsheclimbedtoanopenarea.To.her.great.joy,—ahelicopterflewoverheadjustatthatmoment.Thefishermanhelpedflagheryellowblousewildly.Thisdidcatchtherescuers,attention!Janewasrescued.SeeingTom,shetoldhimhowmuchshemissedhim.Neverwouldtheybeawayfromeachother.Tomgaveherthewarmestandlongesthugshehadeverreceived.I"枝遺點撥 析考法.通技法對于這種新的題型，考生首先要能對所給的文章有深刻的理解，對文章的脈絡(luò)和發(fā)展的方向有很好的把握，對文章使用的詞匯的特點有整體的認(rèn)知。然后，根據(jù)對文章結(jié)構(gòu)的理解設(shè)計合理的情節(jié)，完成對文章的續(xù)寫。因此，續(xù)寫文章的關(guān)鍵是：.掌握所給文章的主旨意圖及故事情節(jié)的發(fā)展方向這點至關(guān)重要。只有把握了文章的主旨意圖，才能很好地完成續(xù)寫。.正確理解故事的脈絡(luò)線索和段落結(jié)構(gòu)，設(shè)計續(xù)寫內(nèi)容的基本框架只有對原文的脈絡(luò)線索和段落結(jié)構(gòu)有正確的和深刻的理解，續(xù)寫的內(nèi)容才能和原文骨肉相連，契合緊密。.理清文章中的要點信息和邏輯關(guān)系確保續(xù)寫的內(nèi)容和原文要有邏輯上的一致性，并能回應(yīng)原文的信息。.感知文章的用詞特點以便使續(xù)寫的內(nèi)容在語言色彩上和所給文章保持一致。.注意語言的使用考試說明中非常明確地指出，寫作中要準(zhǔn)確使用語法和詞匯，清楚、連貫地表達(dá)自己的意思。所以，在考慮文章結(jié)構(gòu)的同時，一定要注意使用比較“高級”的詞匯和語法結(jié)構(gòu)。????典例示范????原題呈現(xiàn)閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個完整的故事。（2017年6月.浙江高考）Onabright,warmJulyafternoon,MacHollan,aprimaryschoolteacher,wascyclingfromhishometoAlaskawithhisfriends.Oneofhisfriendshadstoppedtomakeabicyclerepair,buttheyhadencouragedMactocarryon,andtheywouldcatchupwithhimsoon.AsMacpedaled（騎行）alongalone,hethoughtfondlyofhiswifeandtwoyoungdaughtersathome.Hehopedtoshowthemthisbeautifulplacesomeday.ThenMacheardquickandloudbreathingbehindhim.“Man,that’sabigdog!”hethought.Butwhenhelookedtotheside,hesawinstantlythatitwasn,tadogatall,butawolf,quicklycatchingupwithhim.Mac,sheartjumped.Hefoundouthiscanofbearspray.Withonehandonthebars,hefiredthesprayatthewolf.Abrightredcloudenvelopedtheanimal,andtoMac'srelief,itfellback,shakingitshead.Butaminutelater,itwasbyhissideagain.ThenitattackedthebackofMac,sbike,tearingopenhistentbag.Hefiredatthewolfasecondtime,andagain,itfellbackonlytoquicklyrestartthechase（追趕）.Macwaspedalinghardnow.Hewavedandyelledatpassingcarsbutwascarefulnottoslowdown.Hesawasteepuphillclimbbeforehim.Heknewthatoncehehitthehill,he,dbeeasilycaughtupandthewolf,steethwouldbetearingintohisflesh.Atthismoment,PaulandBeckyweredrivingtheircarontheirwaytoAlaska.Theydidn,tthinkmuchofitwhentheysawtwocyclistsrepairingtheirbikeonthesideoftheroad.Abitlater,theyspottedwhatthey,too,assumedwasadogrunningalongsideamanonabike.Astheygotcloser,theyrealizedthatthedogwasawolf.Macheardalargevehiclebehindhim.Hepulledinfrontofitasthewolfwascatchingupfast,justadozenyardsawaynow.注意：1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；.至少使用5個短文中標(biāo)有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞語；.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語已為你寫好；.續(xù)寫完成后，請用下劃線標(biāo)出你所使用的關(guān)鍵詞語。Paragraph1：Thecarabruptlystoppedinfront0fhim.Paragraph2：Afewminuteslater,theothertwocyclistsarrived.寫作指導(dǎo)第一步：快速瀏覽，讀懂原文通讀全文首先要解決好五個W和一個H的問題，即理清人物who,地點where,時間when,事件what,原因why及怎樣發(fā)展how。理解這篇文章的五個W之后就能快速了解文章大意：Mac與好友一起騎行去阿拉斯加，路上同伴因修自行車落后，Mac獨自一人前行，遇到狼的突襲，好一番搏斗，幸虧此時Paul和Becky兩人開車經(jīng)過，出手相救。至于如何發(fā)展(how)？這要看考生的想象力如何。?第二步：構(gòu)思情節(jié)，謀篇布局布局謀篇的關(guān)鍵是利用好兩方面的信息：.續(xù)寫部分所給的兩個段落的首句Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim.和Afewminuteslater,theothertwocyclistsarrived。這兩句話起到非常關(guān)鍵的作用，無論從時間的先后、情節(jié)的發(fā)展都要以這兩句話作為內(nèi)在邏輯關(guān)系。.在情節(jié)的安排中，必須按照敘述的順序，繼續(xù)緊密結(jié)合原材料中五個W的邏輯順序發(fā)展下去。(1)第一段寫什么？應(yīng)圍繞PaulandBecky如何救助Mac展開，充分發(fā)揮豐富的想象，把Paul停車后如何在千鈞一發(fā)之際拯救Mac的過程寫得趣味橫生又合乎情理。⑵第二段寫什么？弄清楚開頭的這兩個人是誰很重要，然后依照符合故事情節(jié)發(fā)展的內(nèi)在邏輯推進(jìn)下去。朋友到達(dá)之后看到、聽到并做了什么。最后應(yīng)該提煉思想性和體現(xiàn)價值觀的傳遞正能量的元素(如珍愛生命，學(xué)會合作或感激等)，以提升文章的檔次。注意：第一段和第二段要銜接緊密，相互關(guān)聯(lián)，不能獨立存在。?第三步：理清邏輯，優(yōu)化語言這一步側(cè)重點為語言邏輯，詞句結(jié)構(gòu)都必須符合當(dāng)時人狼大戰(zhàn)的情景。續(xù)寫時要按照情節(jié)的發(fā)展進(jìn)行延續(xù)，寫作手法上必須以敘為主，描寫上以動作描寫為重心，情節(jié)的發(fā)展合乎邏輯地推進(jìn)。?第四步：以優(yōu)美的文字譽寫［閱卷名師點津］.內(nèi)容方面在閱卷過程中發(fā)現(xiàn)，一部分考生沒有讀懂原文，如不認(rèn)識bearspray,不理解abrightredcloudenvelopedtheanimal,沒有理清人物關(guān)系，誤認(rèn)為Paul與Mac是好朋友：這部分考生由于閱讀能力直接影響到續(xù)寫的發(fā)揮。還有些考生描寫心理活動和場景過多，缺乏具體描寫，導(dǎo)致故事不夠連貫，不夠完整。.語言方面從評卷結(jié)果來看，考生出現(xiàn)的問題偏向于刻意追求運用高級、新穎的詞匯，強行運用復(fù)雜句型等語法結(jié)構(gòu)，而忽略了與原文語言環(huán)境的符合度和連貫度。同時出現(xiàn)了一些單詞拼寫錯誤等。更有甚者用套路作文，這與讀后續(xù)寫的全新創(chuàng)作宗旨相違背。.邏輯方面(1)違背生活真實。如在緊張的人狼大戰(zhàn)環(huán)境下，有的考生卻寫兩人在拉家常。⑵人物關(guān)系混亂。如增加了一些人物，讓故事變得更加復(fù)雜；把Paul與Mac看成是原先認(rèn)識的；有些故事的結(jié)局并沒有交代如何處理狼。⑶兩段的開頭語理解不到位，以及兩段之間銜接不夠，也帶來了很多故事上的混亂。比如第一段的Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim，學(xué)生理解為是Mac要求他停車等。.其他問題閱卷中發(fā)現(xiàn)很多標(biāo)點錯誤，以下幾點需注意：英語中沒有頓號，分割句中并列成分多用逗號，如Sheslowly,carefully,deliberatelymovedthebox；英文的句號是實心點(.)；英文的省略號是三個點(…)，位置在行底。-???專家點評【考場范文1】Paragraph1：Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim.Awomanhurriedlyopenedthedoorandstretchedoutherhand,shouting,“Getin!”Macgrabbedherhandwithouthesitation,leavinghisbicyclelyingontheroadandjumpedintothecar.Themomentheshutthedoor,hecaughttheglimpseofthefierceeyesandhungrylookofthewolfbythedoor.Acoldfeelingcreptoverhisheartandmadehimshiver.However,thecarhadleftthewolffarbehind,whichmadehimsighwithrelief.MacthankedPaulandBeckyandafterwardstheypulledoverbytheroadtowaitforMac,sfriends.Paragraph2：Afewminuteslater,thetwoothercyclistsarrived.Assoonastheymet,hisfriends'worriedlookfadedaway.“Wherehaveyoubeen?Wesawyourbicycleontheroad.”Hisfriendaskedandthesewordslikeapenetrateofsunshinewarmedhisheart.AfterMacexplainedtothem,theysaidfarewelltoPaulandBeckyinsincerelyindebtedness.Onthewayhome,nightbreezemadehimateaseandhecouldn,twaittosharehisexperiencewithhiswifeandchildrenandshowthekindnessoftheworld..這篇文章語言上最大的特色是用無生命特征的名詞作句子的主語。整篇11個句子，其中無靈主語就有5句，占了42%。(1)Acoldfeelingcreptoverhisheartandmadehimshiver.(2)However,thecarhadleftthewolffarbehind,whichmadehimsighwithrelief.(3)Assoonastheymet,hisfriends,worriedlookfadedaway.(4)thesewordslikeapenetrateofsunshinewarmedhisheart.(5)Onthewayhome,nightbreezemadehimatease.這樣，同樣含義的句子就由平淡變得生動有力了。.語言上的第二大特色就是這篇文章詞匯的使用，如indebtedness等于gratitude感激，pullover表達(dá)路邊停車，這些都體現(xiàn)了較為深厚的語言功底。.但是，文章還是有些瑕疵。Macgrabbedherhandwithouthesitation,leavinghisbicyclelyingontheroadandjumpedintothecar.這一句中應(yīng)將leaving改為left,使其與前面的grabbed及后面的jumped成為連貫動作，也可把jumped改為jumping同leaving平行成為grabbed的伴隨狀語；Hisfriendaskedandthesewordslikeapenetrateofsunshinewarmedhisheart.此句中的penetrate是個動詞被錯誤地當(dāng)作名詞使用，可以改為Hisfriendaskedandthesewordslikearayofsunshinewarmedhisheart;AfterMacexplainedtothem,theysaidfarewelltoPaulandBeckyinsincerelyindebtedness.此句中的sincerely應(yīng)該改為形容詞修飾名詞indebtednesso【考場范文2】Paragraph1：Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim.Mac,sheartjumpedwildly,andhedashedtowardsthecarwithouttheslightesthesitationforheknewitwashisonlychance.Itwasarealraceagainsttimetomakeit!Thankgod,Macsuccessfullymadethedooropenandthatfiercewolfwasjustaroundthecorner.TheinstantMacsettledhimontheseat,Paulstartedthecarinaflash.Thewolfhadtogiveupandfindanothergoal.Whatanarrowescape!Maccollapsedintotheseatandsmiledbitterly.Theothertwoguysdecidedtostopatthegasstationtohavearest.Paragraph2：Afewminuteslater,thetwoothercyclistsarrived.Seeinghisfriends,Macfeltagreatweighttakenoffhismind.HisfriendswereamazedatMac,sexperience,foritwasamiracletoescapefromahungrywolf!MacthankedPaulandBeckyagainandagain,buthisappreciationwasbeyondwords.Hesaidsincerely:“Youcan,timaginehowgratefulIwas,forIhavebeengivenasecondlife!”TearsgatheredupinMac,seyeswhenhewavedthemgoodbye.Itwasobviouslyanunforgettableexperience,andMacwouldhavealottosharewithhisfamilyafterhegothome.Itwashiscourageandotherpeople,skindnessthatsavedhim..從語言角度出發(fā)，這篇文章特征明顯。.首先是語言地道，表現(xiàn)在三處for的使用：(1)Mac'sheartjumpedwildly,andhedashedtowardsthecarwithouttheslightesthesitationforheknewitwashisonlychance.(2)HisfriendswereamazedatMac,sexperience,foritwasamiracletoescapefromahungrywolf!(3)Youcan'timaginehowgratefulIwas,forIhavebeengivenasecondlife!句子中使用for更加符合英語的思維習(xí)慣，盡管前后是并列關(guān)系，但是前面提供了主要的信息，然后進(jìn)行補充說明。如：因為李越出色的表現(xiàn)，校長授予他“本周學(xué)生之星”榮譽稱號。在這句話中，漢語的思維是先說原因，而英語的翻譯則是先說結(jié)果：ThepresidentawardedLiYuethetitleof“StarStudentoftheWeek”forwhatshedidforourclass原因和結(jié)果的位置是有很大差異的。.再者，此文章比較嫻熟地使用了寫作的各種技巧，如強調(diào)句的使用：Itwashiscourageandotherpeople'skindnesssatethim.感嘆句的使用：(1)Youcan5timaginehowgratefulIwas!(2)Whatanarrowescape!等。.但是，這篇文章也存在一些不足。TheinstantMacsettledhimontheseat,Paulstartedthecarinaflash.此句中的him應(yīng)該改為himself。第一段尾句Theothertwoguysdecidedtostopatthegasstationtohavearest.這句話與上下文脫節(jié)，起不到承上啟下的作用，出現(xiàn)了情節(jié)邏輯的問題。.總的說來，該文章比較好地完成了讀后續(xù)寫的任務(wù)，既讀懂了原文，又有比較好的語言功底將故事敘寫下去?！究紙龇段?】Paragraph1：Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim.SeeingPaulwaveathimkindlyandopenthecardoorforhim，Macimmediatelyjumpedoutofhisbicycleandrushedintothecar.NosoonerthanthepoormanhadgotindidPaulclosethedoor.Thewolfwalkedaroundthecarandhowledfuriouslyatthem，butjustinvain.Realizingitcouldn'tcatchMacanymore，thewolfultimatelygaveupandwalkedawaygloomily.Watchingthewolfwasswallowedbytheroad,Mac，bathedinperspiration，sighedwithreliefandsankdowntothebackseat.Paulhandedhimabottleofwaterandhemanagedaweaksmile，murmuringsomethinglike“Thankyouverymuch”.Paragraph2：Afewminuteslater，theothertwocyclistsarrived.KnowingthatMachadbeenchasedbyawolf，theywerestumpedforwordsandparalysedwithfear.Fortunately，atthatmomentappearedPaulwholentahelpinghandtoMac.ThetwofriendsextendedtheirearnestgratitudetoPaulforrescuingMacandthentookMacbackhome.Aftersuchaterribleexperience，thesplendidlandscapeofAlaskaseemednolongertobeatemptationtothem.Onthewaybackhome，feelingthelightbreezethroughhishair，Macfeltwhathappenedjustnowwas