讀后續(xù)寫策略省賽一等獎

淺談讀后續(xù)寫？---吳魏學(xué)生在續(xù)寫中的常見問題1純對話；2啰嗦；3無話可寫，敷衍了事；4故事天馬行空，毫無邏輯性；5語言表達單調(diào)，無亮點；6時態(tài)錯誤;7故事情節(jié)與材料脫節(jié)或情節(jié)與提示語銜接不當…續(xù)寫評分原則如何寫讀后續(xù)寫？三沖突、四途徑非謂語、比喻、擬人一、讀后續(xù)寫套路：

“三沖突、四途徑”

讀后續(xù)寫的續(xù)寫內(nèi)容從命題角度來看都會圍繞“Conflict&Solution”展開。結(jié)合歷年考查的題材來看，題材主要關(guān)于：迷路系列、脫險系列、爭吵系列。高考選材又限制為積極正能量，還要基于現(xiàn)有中學(xué)生的表達水平，話題不能過于專業(yè)化等，因此看似話題很廣，但其實細細分類，還是有跡可循的。這就為我們平時備考提供了線索。各個沖突并非孤立的，而是相互交織，解決方法也是如此。ConflictandEmotion：三沖突Danger系列和危險的動物害怕、緊張：scared,

nervous和危險的環(huán)境和危險的人Quarrel系列誤解失望、傷心、后悔、生氣、困惑、害羞和尷尬：disappointed,sad,shy,embarrassed,regret,angry,confused背叛觀念、性格、興趣不一傷害（自尊、信任等）Frustration系列第一類：貧困、殘疾、孤獨（poor,disabled,loneliness）等同情和傷心：sympathetic,

sad第二類：失敗、驕傲或自卑（failure,notconfident/tooproud）等他人譬如：善心和愛（love,kindness），及時援助，安慰和鼓勵，陪伴等情節(jié)中：1.鎮(zhèn)定（calm）2.鼓舞（encouraged）3.不悅（dissatisfied）結(jié)尾：1.

欣慰、歡喜（relieved,happy）2.

感動、感恩（moved,grateful）3.

希望、信心（hopeful,confident）他物譬如：河流，太陽等自己譬如：effort,inspiration自然突出和諧，時間與成長SolutionandEmotion：四途徑卷別

ConflictSolution2020.7拍攝北極熊遇險（浙江）借助他物和他人：用辣椒噴霧器（文章有提示）暫退熊，然后救援隊及時援助情緒變化：害怕熊到暫時鎮(zhèn)定，到脫險后的歡喜賣爆米花方法救助窮人（山東）借助他物和他人：一家決定和被救助孩子賣爆米花，路人紛紛購買情緒變化：開始的同情到最后的開心與感恩2020.1大學(xué)生和寵物狗的離別借助他物：父母買來小狗，孩子回家后，看到兩只狗彼此陪伴和陪伴父母，明白道理情緒變化：難過到欣慰2018.6父子騎馬迷路借助他人他物：先父親安慰我，然后我們看到小河后尋路回家情緒變化：害怕到鎮(zhèn)定，最后到開心2017.11家庭旅游為野營爭執(zhí)借助他物：用自己帶的帳篷來野營露宿情緒變化：不解困惑到最后開心2017.6騎車游玩遇狼脫險借助他人他物：用辣椒噴霧器（文章有提示）暫退狼，然后路人甲及時援助情緒變化：害怕到喜出望外，到害怕，最后開心2016.10夫婦森林旅游爭執(zhí)，女主人迷路借助他人他物：想起丈夫曾經(jīng)的愛后悔，找到一個地方先睡下，第二天跟著河水來到空地，救援隊及時趕到情緒變化：害怕

—后悔—開心解決方案基本是以下途徑：當然這個解決方案（solution）可能是以上多種組合，譬如先平靜下來（calm），然后有了勇氣（courage），最后有了動力（inspiration）。比如某一年的熊口脫險：先冷靜下來，然后靈機一動想出辦法，最后救援人員及時趕到；山東卷的思路：先互相鼓勵，然后冷靜思考，靈機一動，最后努力行動，最終用愛心感動對方。真題再現(xiàn)2018年6月，浙江高考

父親帶兒子去西部荒野的一個朋友家體驗農(nóng)場生活，見父親和叔叔騎馬，兒子也很想騎，于是親身上馬體驗。臨走時叔叔告誡我們不要走偏了路（"Don’tbelateforsupper,"UnclePaulcried,"andeeptothetracsothatyoudon’tgetlost!"）。一路上，風(fēng)景優(yōu)美，讓人陶醉。

Paragraph2:Wehadnoideawherewewereanditwasgettingdaryhorse

WhathappenednetandwhatwastheconflictHowdidIreactandsolveitHowdidIfeelWhathaHowdidIfeel第一段后半部分必須與第二段銜接合理y

horse

Awaveofnervousnesssweptovermeespeciallywhenthehorseranlikecrazy.（情緒）2.Myheartpoundingandmypalmssweating,aninnervoicetoldmethatIhadtocalmdown.（細節(jié)詳述）3.Thoughinapanic,Ipluckedmycouragetopullontherein.（轉(zhuǎn)折：個人努力）4.Luckily,itdidn’ttakelongbeforeIsettleddownthehorse.（轉(zhuǎn)機：成功，希望來了）5.Justatthatmoment,Dadranover,gasping

forair.（銜接句：新問題來了）6.“Boy,wearewayoffthetrack.”Hesaidseriously,alookofconcernspreadingacrosshisface.Hungryandfrustrated,wetriedtofindawayoutbutinvain.(努力，失敗)2.Itsuddenlydawnedonmewecouldrodedowntherivernearby.（突然有了辦法）3.Unexpectedly,theriverbroughtustothefamiliartrackatlast.（開始行動）4.Afterwhatseemedtwohours,UnclePaul’sfarmhousedidcomeintosight.（成功了）5.Myfather’sfacebrightenedup,sodidmine.（感受）6.Uponourarrival,Uncle

Paulcouldn’twaittoaskedus,“Wherehaveyoubeen?Iamjustcalling

911.”（幽默對話）7.“ToAlice’sWonderland”myfatheranswered,winkingatmewithabiggrin.8.Whatanunforgettable

experiencewehad!(總結(jié))Paragraph2:Wehadnoideawherewewereanditwasgettingdar一、讀后續(xù)寫不需要情節(jié)多么有趣或動人，而是需要和原文邏輯融洽，你不是自圓自說，而是幫助原文作者“圓”，并且讓人感到自然，而不突兀做作。二、情節(jié)盡可能簡潔，不要拖泥帶水，一般就是續(xù)寫一個到兩個solution的組合：譬如別人的安慰讓我鎮(zhèn)定下來，然后耐心等待，不一會救援人物出現(xiàn)，脫險結(jié)束?？偣埠诵那楣?jié)就三句而已，中間是感情的變化。三、必須有一定的細節(jié)描寫，且細節(jié)必須緊扣主題或是故事發(fā)展必不可少的。切忌啰嗦！四、故事結(jié)尾要點題。Conclusion二、用適當?shù)男揶o潤色文章（非謂語、比喻、擬人等）

報紙范文BenthrewhisshouldersbacandletoutabiglaughItwasbeyondhisimaginationthathisbestfriendfinallywentontherighttrac,whichfilledhimwithmuchreliefanddelightTasoyfriendAlltheseyearsIhavebeenconcernedaboutyou”Hearingthis,Isaacloweredhishead,rejustaecleanerheretoearnmybread”非謂語“Well,IseeWe’regoingtodosomethingaboutthat,”saidBen,handingIsaachiscard“Cometomyshiotivatedworhard”BenseriouslyandsincerelyinvitedIsaacMovedandalittleashamed,IsaccgrasadeuindthathewouldnotdisappointBenLifedoesn’talwaysofferyouasecondchance!ilemarer“l(fā)ie”

——用lie作喻詞1Thesmileonherfaceshonelieadiamond（情感描寫）她臉上的笑容像鉆石一樣閃閃發(fā)光。2IfeellieIamfloatinginanoceanofsadness（情感描寫）我感覺自己像漂浮在悲傷的海洋中。3Thesceneryalongthejourneyisjustlieabreath-tainglandscayfacelieasharpnife景物描寫寒風(fēng)開始咆哮，像鋒利的小刀一樣刺痛了我的臉。5Clustersofstarsdecoratedthevastsyliesparlingjewels景物描寫繁星像珊珊發(fā)光的珠寶一樣裝飾了浩瀚的天空。比喻ilemarer“asas”

——用asas作喻詞

1Thesmileonherfacewasasvibrantasthesunonasummerday（情感描寫）她臉上的笑容和夏天的太陽一樣充滿活力。2Fatherrushedtohisson'sschool,onlytodiscoverthebuildingwasasflataspancae煎餅景物描寫父親沖到兒子的學(xué)校后，才發(fā)現(xiàn)這座建筑已經(jīng)變成一片廢墟。3Ireachedouttotouchherface,whichwasascoldastheice人物描寫我伸手去摸她的臉，發(fā)現(xiàn)她的臉像冰一樣冰冷。更多搭配：asbusyasabee忙忙碌碌ashungryasawolf饑腸轆轆asproudasapeacoc傲如孔雀aseasyasABC極其容易asbraveasalion勇猛如獅asprettyasapicture美如畫

ilemarer“asif”

——用asif作喻詞

Satherlooedatmyeyesasifshewereseeingmyinnerselflocedawayinside（動作描寫）Sather老師看著我的眼睛，仿佛看到了我靈魂深處封閉的自我。2Shesweswithhereyswetasifshewantedtosqueeethereathoutofhim（動作描寫）她眼睛濕潤，把兒子擁進懷里，仿佛想把他的呼吸擠出來。3Herhairgrewgreyerandgreyer,asifitwerecoveredwithsnowandfrost（肖像描寫）他的頭發(fā)越來越白了，簡直像蓋了一頭皚皚的霜雪。4Shefeltasifherhearthadbeenriherbody（情感描寫）她感覺自己心好像從她的身體里被撕開了。Part4：byusingthelinword“be”

——通過be動詞聯(lián)系

1Herhairwasaflowinggoldenriverstreamingdownhershoulders（肖像描寫）她的頭發(fā)像是一條流淌在她肩上的金色河流。2Thebeatutifulparwasascentedcarpetofcolor景物描寫美麗的公園就是一個芬芳的彩色地毯。3Stopbeingsuchababy人物描寫別這么幼稚好不好。4Lifeisanuneploredriverfulloftwistsandturns哲理生活就像一條未被涉足的河流，有各種曲折。

Part5：byusingtheverbs

——通過動詞聯(lián)系

1Ifeltalumythroat,tearingwellinguyeyes（情感描寫）我如鯁在喉，淚水濕潤了眼眶。2Hedoesn'thaveanideaofhisownHejust（環(huán)境描寫）整個房子沉浸在一片寂寞中。4Theboywolfeddownthefood（動作描寫）小男孩狼吞虎咽。Part1：把自然現(xiàn)象當作人來描寫1Thewindstooduaingabeautifulistswallowedhimuyface景物描寫寒風(fēng)開始咆哮，刺痛了我的臉。6Starswinedatmeinadareningsy景物描寫夜空中星星向我眨眼睛。7Immediately,anabsolutedarnessruledtheforest景物描寫頃刻間，黑暗統(tǒng)治了森林。擬人

Part2：把含蓄抽象的概念當作人來描寫

1Fearseied/swallowedhim（情感描寫）恐懼把他吞噬了。2Angerchoedmywords（情感描寫）我氣得說不出話來。3Agoodideasuddenlystrucme我突然想到一個好主意。4Smiletooholdofhim（情感描寫）他笑容滿面。5Anietytornhiminto（情感描寫）他沒信心了。7Ecitementdeeofallpowerofspeech（情感描寫）我興奮的啥也說不出來了。Part3：把動物當作人來描寫1Inthedeadofnight,thecricets蟋蟀iedchorus景物描寫青蛙在舉辦音樂會---混聲大合唱。alllanterns景物描寫螢火蟲提著小燈籠在草叢中巡邏。與情感和動作有關(guān)的表達害怕①Heturnedtome,withhiseyesfullofhorror②Fearslowlycree/Fearfloodedoverhim⑦Herheartbeatsoviolentlythatshefeltnearlysuffocated（窒息）⑧Sheshooallover,feelingliesittingonpinsandneedles（如坐針氈）⑨Hefroeinhorror感動&羞愧①

Toucheddeeebyawaveofguiltandwordsfailedtoeyregret憤怒①

Iwasseiedbyanger②

Hewasfuming（冒煙的）withrage③

Hisangerboiledover（沸溢；情緒失去控制）④

Hecouldhardly/scarcelycontainhisrage（憤怒）⑤

Hewasbreathingfireandfury（激怒的感情）

⑥

His

voice

trembled

with

anger⑦

Hegavemealooofburninganger⑧

Heglaredatmewithburningeyes⑨

Heflaredup（發(fā)怒；爆發(fā)）attheword⑩

Hisfacecloudedwithanger悲傷煩惱

①

Hestoodsilently,tearsrollingdownhischees②

IfeellieIamfloatinginanoceanofsadness③

HerhandswereshaingShewasonthevergeof（瀕臨于；接近于）tears④

Hearingthenews,sodes⑥

Shesobbed,hidingherfaceinherhands⑦

Itriedtofightbactears

/Myeyeswerefilledwithtears⑧

Afrown（皺眉）nowstoodonhisface⑨

Theysattherewithglum（悶悶不樂的）loosontheirfaces

⑩

Thenewscastacloudofgloomoverhisface?

Hebrimmedoverwith（滿溢；充滿）sorrowwhen?

Theywereimmersedin（沉浸于）sorrow?

Thesedayshewasinlowspirits喜樂①

Thesmileonherfaceshonelieadiamond②

Asimileofunderstandingflashedacrosshisface③

Arientranthroughthem④

Laughterlingeredaround縈繞theroom⑤

Hiseyestwinledwithondsandliile⑧

Iwaswildwithjoy/onthetopoftheworld⑨

Iwasileonherface?

Hersmilelitu?

Sheshedtears（流淚）ofjoy?

Hereyesweresonds?

Shewasoverflowingwith（充滿著）haent?

Joywelleduusementgleamed（閃爍）inhiseyesTheseeventsconstantly

remindmeof

myfather’sabsenceIimmediately

aginehim

walingthroughthedoor,wearingashiningsmileMostdays

Ihoaybehewillturnuydoorsteoment,he

wondered

whetherhewouldbesentencedtodeathforillinginedto

tellan

realied

theinal心理動詞I

focusedmythoughtson

everyyselfAllIcoulddoatthehosycar,I

realiedthat

myfriendhadlefthistrucandeysatthecourtsFromthatoneeostimoneyyoumaeIwill

cherishthefondmemories

fortherestofmylife

He

felt

hecouldnotcontinueandsatdownonthelawnAtthisdarandhooment,

awonderfulideacametohim

Itfilledhismindwithagreat,brightlightTom

thoughtforamoment,wasabouttoagree;buthe

changedhismindStunned,Istooduiledradiantlyand

gatheredhersonintoherarms

Theneareritgot,themoreshe

waved

theyellow

blouse

wildly

Theman

too

thesacs,

reachedinto

hisBobby’shouse,andrushedto

hisfrontdoor,trembling

withecitement手的動詞Themangently

wraasiledawaterysmileand

heldmyhandtightlyAswe

shoohandswith

thenewowners,ItoldthemhowfortunatetheywereHe

yhead,andinquired:“Isthereanythingyhair,andsaid:“OfcoursethereisaSantaClause”Hewas

squeeingmywrist

sohardthatitachedShe

handed

thenae,andthree$20billsfellontomydeswhenI

oe,andthenathismother,then

NancyDrew,”shesaid,

holdingout

herhand

Theclass

clalyasMrLee

ewiththerewardHe

reachedinto

hisrsDamon

AlbertEinsteinhangingonthewallCalmlyhe

picedup

thebrushandstartedagaintowhitewashThenLisa

stooduadeherwaythrough

thecrowdtowardmeLisa

ly

infrontofmeShe

managedtoclimbontoit

andwaited

ran/rusheddown

WaterStreet,tremblingwithgreat

arrivedat（動作）

thefactoryThen,clutchingthetincan,he

headedfor

theshoe,Reuben

burstthrough

thefrontdoorDisaan

madehiswaybacto

hisfamily腳的動詞Suddenly,thewoman

stoodue,

motionlessBelleRingernoddedthoughtfully,andFrannie

hurriedoff

towaitontherestofhertablesI

led

them

toward

alargecornerboothIcouldfeeltherestofthestaff

followingbehind

aswe

marchedthrough

thediningroomI

draggedmyselfthrough

dailychores,feelingehaustedTheelderlyman

fled

away

withgreatan

stetotaeagoodlooatthepaintings

Weallgatherinfrontofthetelevision,asanwas

staringeagerlyat

thegirl,tryingtomaeaconversationI

watched

helanfeltmoreandmorefrustratedandhoined

thetagsattachedtoeachofthepacages眼的動詞Hereyesfellon

theedianonhisarrivalMeghannoddedseriously,

eyesglisteningwithheld-bactearsSwallow