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高考英語作文范文:應(yīng)聘家教題目:Youhaveseenanadvertisementfromacouple,wholiveinAustralia,for

someonetoteachtheirtwochildrenyourlanguageforayear.

Writealettertothecouple.Inyourletter.explainwhyyouthinkyouwouldbesuitableforthejob.

.

saywhatelseyoucoulddoforthefamily.giveyourreasonsforwantingthejob范文:221words,7分,保留了所有錯(cuò)誤,閱讀時(shí)請注意識(shí)別。DearSirandMadam,IamalongstandingIndiancitizenwhoworksasaprofessorintheGiujaratUniversity,Guijarat,India.IamwritingthistoapplyforajobatHindilanguageteacher,whatyouarelookingfor

yourchids.TheforemostreasonofapplyingforajobisIhavedonePHDinHindaliteraturesuccessfullyfromthereputedGiujaratUniverityofIndia.BesidesthisIamteachingtheHindilanguageprofessionally

sincelast15years.Ihaveawideexperienceofteachingamongdifferentinstitutionsandfromthechildrentoyoungerone.ConsideringallthesefactorsIfeelthatIamasuitablecandidatefor

this

job.Moreover,IcanalsoteachtheHindilanguagetootherfamilymemberifrequiredsoIcanmakeyouallawareaboutIndiancultureanditstraditions,asIhaveavastknowledgeofallthattoo.AsIalreadyhaveso

manyyearsinmyhomecountryIndia,nowIwanttomigratetodifferent

nationsoftheworldsoIcanlearnaboutthepeople,theircultureandtraditions.Iwillalsoprovidemetheopportunitytogainknowledgeandsomeinvaluableexperiences.IstronglyfeelthatcomingtoAustraliacouldbegreatopportunityforme.Inanticipationwaitingforyourpositiveresponseatearliest.Yoursfaithfull,Vipal這篇為什么有7分?有些錯(cuò)誤你是否沒看出來?修訂后的簡潔版本?

↓↓↓考官評語:這是正式的申請信,考生全文語氣一致,充分回應(yīng)了三個(gè)寫作任務(wù)。信息組織邏輯清晰,行文流暢。連接詞使用恰當(dāng),分段合理。使用了非常用詞,如longstanding,citizen,invaluable,以及詞匯搭配如wideexperience,suitablecandidate,vastknowledge,greatopportunity,但存在拼寫錯(cuò)誤,如Giujarat應(yīng)為Gujarat,第一段第二句的forajobat應(yīng)為forajobas,

chids應(yīng)為children或kids,Hinda應(yīng)為Hindu,第三段第一句的familymember應(yīng)為復(fù)數(shù),第四段第二句的Iwill應(yīng)為Itwill,落款faithfull應(yīng)為faithfully.考生展示了多種復(fù)雜語法結(jié)構(gòu),多數(shù)句子準(zhǔn)確無誤,除了少數(shù)冠詞和時(shí)態(tài)錯(cuò)誤。組長解析:(1)字?jǐn)?shù)過多,考場上會(huì)占用時(shí)間,應(yīng)練習(xí)寫精煉的句子;(2)題中提到了acouple發(fā)布的招聘廣告,所以范文的稱呼恰當(dāng),也可以是DearMr.andMrs.Smith(廣告中通常會(huì)標(biāo)記聯(lián)系方式和姓名),范文署名不妥當(dāng),應(yīng)署全名;(3)172words語言簡潔準(zhǔn)確修改版如下:DearSirandMadam,Iamwritingtoapplyforthe

jobasa

Hindilanguageteacherthat

youarelooking

for

yourchildren.I

believethatIamqualifiedforthisposition

becauseIhave

aPhDdegreeinHindiliterature

fromGujaratUniversity,

the

mostprestigiousuniversityinIndia.Moreover,

Ihave15years'experienceofteaching

Hindi

toyoungsters,whichexactly

suitsyourneed.Inadditiontoteachingyourkids,

Icanalsohelpanyofyour

familymemberswithHindilearningaslongastheyareinterested.Besides,itwouldbe

mypleasuretoshareknowledgeof

Indianculture,customs

andtraditionswithyouall.

SinceIamapplyingforAustralian

permanentresidency,Ireallyneedthisjobtolearnmoreaboutlocalpeopleandlife.It

isangreatopportunityformetogainpracticalknowledgeandinvaluableexperience

thatwillbe

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