2024屆高三英語二輪復(fù)習(xí)：讀后續(xù)寫鄰里互助類 鄰居Thompson夫婦幫助完成了今年的圣誕燈飾 講義素材

2024年2月云南師大附中高三統(tǒng)測讀后續(xù)寫(略有改動(dòng))IwentoutoneearlyNovembermorninglastyeartowalkthedogs,abreakfromcaringformyhusband,

Dale.Ourneighbors

Mr.andMrs.Thompson

werepassingbywiththeirdogstoo.Itoldthemhow

weak

Dalewas.Eventhoughhewasfinallyhomefromthehospitalaftersufferingtwo

strokes

anda

heartattack,hisbreathingstilllaboredfromhisinitial

Covidinfection

inSeptember.Ilookeddownourstreet,atthehomesthatwouldsoonbelitinacommunalholidaydisplay,andpushedawaythethoughtthatthis

Christmas

mightbeDale’slast.“We’llhavetoskiplightingupthisyear,”Isaid.“Dale’sallthatmatters,andIneedtogetthesedogswalkedsoIcangetbacktohim.”

Thecouple

offeredtotakecareofourChristmas

lights,butIturnedtheirofferdownbecauseitwasjusttoobigajob.去年11月的一個(gè)清晨，我出去遛狗，這是我照顧丈夫戴爾的休息時(shí)間。我們的鄰居Mr。湯普森太太也帶著他們的狗路過。我告訴他們戴爾有多虛弱。盡管他在經(jīng)歷了兩次中風(fēng)和心臟病發(fā)作后終于出院回家，但由于9月份首次感染新冠肺炎病毒，他的呼吸仍很困難。我順著街道往下看，看著即將在公共節(jié)日展示中點(diǎn)亮的房屋，打消了今年圣誕節(jié)可能是戴爾最后一個(gè)圣誕節(jié)的想法。“今年我們將不得不放棄照明，”我說?！按鳡柌攀亲钪匾?，我需要讓這些狗走一走，這樣我才能回到他身邊?！边@對(duì)夫婦提出要照顧我們的圣誕彩燈，但我拒絕了他們的提議，因?yàn)檫@項(xiàng)工作太大了。Weusuallywentallout,cleaningthehouse,wrappingthetree,liningtheyardanddrivewaywithcandycanes.Itwasafullday’sworkforDaleandme.Actually,Christmaswasthereasonwe’dmovedto

AshbyAvenue

inoneofDesMoines’must-seeholidayneighborhoods.FortheentiremonthofDecember,carsparadeddownthestreetsfrom6to10pm.

Carolers

(唱詩班)and

community

groupsfilledthesidewalks.Thewholeneighborhoodtookona

festiveair.

I’dalwaysdreamedofbeingpartofit,andwhenDaleandIheardthenewsthattherewasahousegoingonthemarketthreeyearsago,wejumpedatthechance.我們通常會(huì)全力以赴，打掃房子，包樹，用拐杖把院子和車道弄得整整齊齊。對(duì)戴爾和我來說，這是一整天的工作。事實(shí)上，圣誕節(jié)是我們搬到得梅因必看度假區(qū)之一的阿什比大道的原因。整個(gè)12月，汽車從下午6點(diǎn)到10點(diǎn)在街上游行(唱詩班)社區(qū)團(tuán)體擠滿了人行道。整個(gè)街區(qū)都洋溢著節(jié)日的氣氛。我一直夢想著成為其中的一員，三年前，當(dāng)Dale和我聽到有房子上市的消息時(shí)，我們抓住了這個(gè)機(jī)會(huì)。IreturnedwiththedogsasfastasIcould,inthemeantime,feelingsadthatwewouldn’tbeabletocelebrateChristmasasweusedtodo.Dalewaslyingonthebedawake,hiseyesstaringoutofthewindow.Ihelpedhimsitup.Hewasn’tabletotalkmuch,butweonlygrewcloserinourquiettimetogether.與此同時(shí)，我盡快帶著狗回來了，因?yàn)槲覀儾荒芟襁^去那樣慶祝圣誕節(jié)，我感到很難過。戴爾醒著躺在床上，眼睛盯著窗外。我?guī)退饋?。他不太?huì)說話，但我們只是在平靜的相處中越來越親密。

Paragraph1:

ThephonerangafewdaysafterI’drunintothefellowdog-walkers.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Paragraph2:

OnthenightofChristmasEve,Ipressedtheswitchtolightupthehouse.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________注：1.考卷中并沒有任何下劃線詞匯。我們刻意標(biāo)出這些詞匯是想展現(xiàn)續(xù)寫和原文概念的互動(dòng)。還不太明白這樣做的道理的朋友請(qǐng)回顧：《為什么高考英語浙江卷讀后續(xù)寫值得我們重點(diǎn)關(guān)注？》2.考卷中原文可能存在人物信息遺漏的瑕疵。在原文第一段中沒有明確thecouple的具體身份。我們對(duì)此進(jìn)行了修改，將他們的身份明確為：Mr.andMrs.Thompson。文章中文梗概作者“我”和“我”的丈夫Dale住在一個(gè)因圣誕節(jié)燈飾氛圍而聞名的社區(qū)。和其他鄰居一樣，每年圣誕節(jié)我們都會(huì)用心用燈飾裝點(diǎn)自己的房子。不幸的是，Dale自從9月份感染新冠后，經(jīng)歷了兩次中風(fēng)和一次心臟病，盡管已經(jīng)出院，但身體仍然虛弱，臥床在家。照顧Dale的重?fù)?dān)落到了作者“我”身上。11月的一個(gè)清晨，“我”在照顧身體虛弱的丈夫Dale的間隙出門遛狗時(shí)遇到了同樣在社區(qū)里遛狗的Thompson夫婦。在交談中“我”告訴這對(duì)鄰居夫婦今年忙于照料時(shí)日無多的丈夫，沒法再像往年一樣裝飾自己的房子和周邊了。盡管鄰居Thompson夫婦主動(dòng)提出幫忙做圣誕燈飾，但“我”還是婉拒了。

續(xù)寫重點(diǎn)從續(xù)寫第一段的段首句信息可知，幾天之后“我”接到了一個(gè)電話。很明顯，續(xù)寫應(yīng)該延著電話的內(nèi)容和來電人展開。本著“非必要不增加主要新人物”的寫作原則，來電話的人最好就是Thompson夫婦。從續(xù)寫第二段的段首句（Ipressedtheswitchtolightupthehouse）不難看出，圣誕節(jié)前燈飾應(yīng)該安裝好了。很明顯，裝燈飾不是作者“我”和生病的丈夫Dale做的。有一種簡單而且合理的情節(jié)設(shè)置方式：鄰居Thompson夫婦幫助完成了今年的圣誕燈飾。此舉展現(xiàn)了鄰里互助，延續(xù)了社區(qū)圣誕傳統(tǒng)。寫作示范ThephonerangafewdaysafterI'drunintothefellowdog-walkers.

Thevoiceontheotherendwas

Mrs.Thompson's."We'reputtingtogetheralittlesurpriseforyouand

Dale,"shesaid,hervoicefilledwithexcitementandahintofsecrecy.Ihesitatedatfirst,butherpromisethatitwouldbehassle-freeconvincedmetoagree.Truetoherword,byevening,asmallgroupofneighborsquietlycametogether,hanging

lights

acrossthebushesandalongtheporchrailing,bringingbackthe

festiveair

thatDaleandIalwayslovedtocreate.GlancingatDale,Isawhiseyeslightupatourfriends'work,aclearsignofthecherished

community

bond.

(105

words)

OnthenightofChristmasEve,Ipressedtheswitchtolightupthehouse.

Theneighborhoodglowedwarmly,and

carolers'

softsongsfilledtheair,justlikebefore.Dalewatchedfromthewindow,hiseyesonthetwinklinglightsbreakingthroughthedark,remindingmeofthejoyhebroughtintomylife."Look,honey,it'sjustlikeweplanned,"Itoldhim,holdinghishand.Asoftsmileappearedonhisface,showingthesamestrengthandbrightnessthatbroughtustoAshbyAvenue.Inthewindow'sreflection,thelightsmixedwithourimage,symbolizingthelifewebuilttogether,shiningandlastingthroughthedarkestnights.

(94words)寫作細(xì)節(jié)分析ThephonerangafewdaysafterI'drunintothefellowdog-walkers.

Thevoiceontheotherendwas

Mrs.Thompson's.（合理敘事：和遛狗遇到的好心鄰居Thompson夫婦產(chǎn)生聯(lián)系）"We'reputtingtogetheralittlesurpriseforyouand

Dale,"shesaid,hervoicefilledwithexcitementandahintofsecrecy.（烘托氛圍：一絲神秘感）Ihesitatedatfirst,butherpromisethatitwouldbehassle-freeconvincedmetoagree.Truetoherword,byevening,asmallgroupofneighborsquietlycametogether,hanging

lights

acrossthebushesandalongtheporchrailing,bringingbackthe

festiveairthatDaleandIalwayslovedtocreate.（和原文概念高度互動(dòng)：鄰里、社區(qū)、燈飾、節(jié)日氛圍。和第二段續(xù)寫首句點(diǎn)亮燈飾合理銜接）GlancingatDale,Isawhiseyeslightupatourfriends'work,aclearsignofthecherished

community

bond.（合理敘事：鄰里之間的互助互愛）OnthenightofChristmasEve,Ipressedtheswitchtolightupthehouse.

Theneighborhoodglowedwarmly,and

carolers'

softsongsfilledtheair,justlikebefore.Dalewatchedfromthewindow,hiseyeso