讀后續(xù)寫實(shí)例分析講義高考英語(yǔ)作文復(fù)習(xí)專項(xiàng)

讀后續(xù)寫實(shí)例分析閱讀下面材料,根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語(yǔ)續(xù)寫兩段,使其構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。Itwasjustbefore

8

am,

October

17.PamBalessteppedontothesnow?coveredJewellTrail

(小路).Sheplannedasix?hourclimbinghikethroughNewHampshiresMountWashingtonStatePark.Shehadpackedforalmosteveryaccident,

includingclothes,

heatpacks,

abottleofhotchocolate...

(裝備,伏筆)

Andsheintendedtowalkalone.Apieceofpaperonthedashboardofhercardetailedhertrip:

startupJewellTrailandreturntohercarbeforesomeforecastedbadweatherarrives.Pamalwaysleftherhikingplansinhercar.

ShewasavolunteeronthePemigewassetValleySearchandRescueTeam.(說(shuō)明身份,伏筆)

At

10:30

am,

theweatherwasshowingitsteeth.(天氣,伏筆)

Pamaddedevenmoreclothestoprotectherselffromthecoldwindsandfog.

(加衣)

Thenshenoticedsomething:

asinglesetoffootprintsinthesnowaheadofher.

(一個(gè)人的腳印,伏筆)

Shedbeenfollowingfainttracksalldayandhadntgiventhemmuchthought,

becausesomanypeopleclimbedJewellTrail.Butthese,

sherealised,

hadbeenmadebyapairoftrainers.

By

11

am,

Pamwasgettingcold,

despitemovingfast.Sheputonanextratop.

(再次加衣)

GoodthingIpackedheavy,

shethought.Shedecidedtoabandonherplan.Returningtohercarwasarequirement.

StronggustsofwindattackedherbackandleftsideandtheonlythingkeepingheronGulfsideTrailwasthetracksinthesnow.

(天氣,伏筆)

Asshefoughtthewindandheavysleet,

hereyessearchingforsometypeofshelter,

thetracksmadeahardleft?handturnoffthetrail.

Allofasudden,

shefeltalarmed.ShewassurethehikercouldlosehiswayandwasheadingstraighttowardthechallengingtrailsoftheGreatGulf.Pamfollowedthetrackscarefully.Sheroundedacornerandsawaman

sitting

motionlessbesideastone.HestaredinthedirectionofGreatGulf.She

approachedhim.

Hisheadwasbare.Helookedsoakingwet.Thickfrostcoveredhisjacket.Ashiseyestrackedherslowly,

hebarelyturnedhishead.(故事高潮,遠(yuǎn)足者出事)

注意:1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;2.請(qǐng)按如下格式在以下位置作答。Hersearchingnowturnedintorescuingtheman.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Theyhadtogetoutofthere.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________實(shí)例分析“情景交融”寫景烘托人物情感“一切景語(yǔ)皆情語(yǔ)”,適當(dāng)?shù)沫h(huán)境細(xì)節(jié)描寫,可以起到“情景交融”的效果,烘托人物情感并有效推動(dòng)故事情節(jié)的發(fā)展。①表現(xiàn)喜樂(lè)歡愉:可描寫溫暖的陽(yáng)光、藍(lán)天白云或徐徐微風(fēng),或利用綜合場(chǎng)景,如春日早晨的陽(yáng)光,微風(fēng)中盛開的鮮花等,烘托人物的喜悅情緒;②表現(xiàn)哀愁壓抑:可描寫烏云黑夜或風(fēng)雨天氣或空曠寂寥的場(chǎng)景襯出人物的壓抑;③表現(xiàn)焦躁無(wú)助:描寫炎熱的天氣或描寫令人驚嘆的美景卻無(wú)法吸引人物的注意力,與人物內(nèi)心的焦躁憂慮形成對(duì)比;④表現(xiàn)恐懼緊張:渲染狂風(fēng)暴雨、黑暗或用靜態(tài)反襯,用環(huán)境的靜反襯人物的緊張和恐懼。主題鏈接主題特點(diǎn)救人脫困類會(huì)涉及:①危急時(shí)刻挺身而出救助他人,如危難之際,利用所學(xué)急救知識(shí)或技能,成功救人脫離生命危險(xiǎn);②樓內(nèi)突發(fā)火災(zāi),警察/群眾舍己救人;③有人不幸溺水,群眾/路人鼓足勇氣跳入水中施救。三步法第一步:家庭環(huán)境或氛圍描寫+不滿、憂慮或排斥等情緒;第二步:沖突過(guò)程+動(dòng)作和情感;第三步:沖突化解、親子交流+高興/如釋重負(fù)+關(guān)系融洽(+升華)。第一步把握原文大意明主旨和兩線原文大意搜救隊(duì)志愿者PamBales安排好一切后獨(dú)自登山遠(yuǎn)足,由于天氣惡劣，她放棄遠(yuǎn)足，返回途中卻發(fā)現(xiàn)一個(gè)凍傷的人。原文兩情線情節(jié)線:登山遠(yuǎn)足→天氣變冷加衣,發(fā)現(xiàn)獨(dú)自遠(yuǎn)足者腳印→天氣更冷,放棄遠(yuǎn)足→發(fā)現(xiàn)遠(yuǎn)足者凍傷;情感線:thoughtful→well?organized→determined→alarmed。敘事意圖PamBales如何帶著凍傷的男子安全脫險(xiǎn)。第二步據(jù)兩首句信息確定續(xù)寫方向兩段首句定一框①根據(jù)段首句關(guān)鍵信息“turned

intorescuingtheman”可推出該段可敘述男人凍傷的狀況、如何施救和施救的結(jié)果;②尾句可營(yíng)造故事沖突,如男子凍傷無(wú)法行走。二框二首正能量①根據(jù)段首句“Theyhad

togetoutofthere”可描寫:如何帶被凍壞的男子離開,安全脫險(xiǎn)的艱難。該段可再次營(yíng)造沖突,如天氣變得更加惡劣;②尾句可寫男子的感激。第三步原續(xù)高度融洽合理添加細(xì)節(jié)◎高度融洽續(xù)寫部分兩情線的發(fā)展應(yīng)與原文兩情線一致,以使“兩情相悅”。情節(jié)線是:男人的狀況→施救→施救結(jié)果→天氣惡劣→艱難返回→安全脫險(xiǎn);情感線可以是surprised→decisive→worried→struggling→relieved→grateful。◎添加細(xì)節(jié)動(dòng)作細(xì)節(jié):第一段涉及如何施救,可詳細(xì)描述施救的動(dòng)作;環(huán)境細(xì)節(jié):原文對(duì)環(huán)境的描寫很多,續(xù)寫部分可添加對(duì)惡劣天氣的描寫,營(yíng)造人與環(huán)境的沖突,也是與原文的呼應(yīng)。第四步沿原語(yǔ)言特點(diǎn)完美連貫表達(dá)原文利用了大量的簡(jiǎn)單句、非謂語(yǔ)動(dòng)詞、并列句和時(shí)間狀語(yǔ)從句,續(xù)寫部分應(yīng)沿用該特點(diǎn)描寫PamBales的動(dòng)作和環(huán)境。Hersearchingnowturnedintorescuingtheman.Shefoundhewassufferingfromfrostbiteonhisfeet.Hecouldhardlymoveanythingexcepthiseyes.Withouthesitation,shecleanedthefrostfromhisjacketandquicklywarmedhisheadwithwarmclothes.Shetookouttheheatpacksshehadpreparedforherselfbeforeshelefttowarmtheman'sstifflegs,andpouredhimsomehotchocolate.Slowly,themanwasabletomoveslightly,buthewastooweaktospeak.Hewassobadlyhurtthathecouldn'twalk.Theyhadtogetoutofthere.Thewindwashowling.Itwasgetting個(gè)首句街接colderandcolder,andiftheydidnotgetoutofthere,theywouldsoondie.Shecarriedthemanonherback