2024屆高考英語復(fù)習3月天域全國名校協(xié)作體讀后續(xù)寫講評自畫像講義素材

讀后續(xù)寫真題呈現(xiàn)：Self-Portrait

Aliawasdisappointedtofindherselfinthe

drawingstudio.Shehadbeensickwiththefluduringtheweekwheneveryoneelsegottopicktheirclasses.ShehadhopedforAstronomyorMarineBiology,buttheywerefullbythetimeshegottochoose.Shelovedeverythingaboutscience,fromthewayit

usedfactsandformulas

tohowit

revealedthebasicnatureofthings.Butartwasso..un-scientific.

Thefirstclassprojectwasself-portraits.Somestudentswere

drawingself-portraitsusingmirrors.Otherswereworkingfromphotographs.Aliaglancedattheincomplete

sketches,feelinglikeacatinadogshow.Butshehadnochoice.Hesitantly,sheliftedapencil,onlytopausebeforethecanvas.Confusionandreluctancewereevidentlywrittenonherface;shehadnoideahowtoproceedwithher

strokes.

TheteachercameuptoAlia's

easel(畫架).Seeminglyhavingnoticedhertrouble,hesatnexttoher.

"Everyportraitbeginswitha

circle,"hesaid."Thenyou

create

aseriesof

lines.”

老師展示Todemonstrate,hedrewagroupofsmall,quickportraits.Hebeganeachonewithacircle,some

straightlines,anda

triangle

todeterminewheretheeyes,nose,andchinshouldgo.ToAlia'samazement,

eachportrait

onthepaper

tookform.Aliahadneverthoughtaboutit,butthe

features

ofeveryone'sfacewere

inthesamespots."Goaheadandgiveitatry."Theteacherhandedthepencilbacktoher.

Takingadeepbreath,Aliabeganherownself-portrait.She

drewthebasicform

ofahead,thewayshehadbeenshown.Fromthere,she

usedlinestoplotthefeaturesofherface.Shehadtotakenoteofeachdetail,with

eachstroke,lineandcurve

demandinghercloseattention.Onewrong

measurement

couldthrowoffthewholeportrait.注意：1.

所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；2.

請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。Theprocesstookpatienceandprecision._____________________________________________________________________Admiringherwork,Aliasuddenlyrealizeddrawingwasjustwhatshehadhopedfor.

_____________________________________________________________________文本分析：考場上估計很多學生會苦惱素描相關(guān)的描寫性語言。每當沒有相關(guān)積累的時候一定要向原文去提取語料，例如文章中出現(xiàn)的feature,sketch,plot,stroke，line,curve

等等都可以直接利用起來。文本簡析主題語境：人與社會之個人成長本文的聚焦于三個方面：

Alia因生病錯過了選科學課的機會，勉強選了畫畫課；

體驗畫畫的過程，老師的展示，讓Alia在體驗中去感受畫畫的魅力；

最終體驗出成果，畫成了她的自畫像，由此改變了自己對畫畫的看法。主要內(nèi)容：所給文章共六段：分成三部分Part1:（para1）Alia因病不得已選了畫畫課；自畫像艾麗婭失望地發(fā)現(xiàn)自己在畫室里。在每個人都要去選課的那個星期里，她得了流感。她本來希望選天文學或海洋生物學，但等她選擇的時候，這兩門課已經(jīng)滿了。她熱愛科學的一切，從它使用事實和公式的方式，到它如何揭示事物的基本本質(zhì)。但藝術(shù)是如此……與科學無關(guān)。Part2:(para2-5)Alia的親身體驗：第一節(jié)畫畫課+老師演示如何畫畫+鼓勵第一節(jié)課的課主題是自畫像。一些學生正在用鏡子畫自畫像。其他人則利用照片來畫畫。艾麗婭瞥了一眼那些不完整的草圖，感覺自己就像一只參加狗展的貓。但她別無選擇。她猶豫地舉起一支鉛筆，但在畫布前停了下來。她的臉上顯然寫著困惑和不情愿;她不知道如何繼續(xù)畫一筆一劃。老師走到Alia的畫架前(畫架)。他似乎注意到了她的麻煩，坐在她旁邊。“每幅肖像都以一個圓圈開頭，”他說?！叭缓竽銊?chuàng)造一系列的線條。”為了證明這一點，他畫了一組小而快速的肖像。他先畫了一個圓圈、幾條直線和一個三角形，以確定眼睛、鼻子和下巴的位置。令阿麗亞驚訝的是，紙上的每一幅肖像都成形了。艾麗婭從來沒有想過這個問題，但每個人臉上的五官都在同一個地方。“去吧，試一試?！崩蠋煱雁U筆還給了她。Part3(para6.)Alia專注地開始畫自畫像深吸一口氣，艾麗婭開始了她的自畫像。她按照別人給她看的樣子，畫出了一個頭的基本形狀。從那里，她用線條畫出她臉部的特征。她必須注意到每一個細節(jié)，每一個筆畫、線條和曲線都要求她密切關(guān)注。一個錯誤的測量可能會使整個圖像失真。讀后續(xù)寫情節(jié)發(fā)展：帶領(lǐng)學生去體驗此類續(xù)寫文本類型的特點：內(nèi)心沖突---體驗—解決沖突---個人成長與轉(zhuǎn)變；文本難度大，可以利用原文的內(nèi)容進行回扣創(chuàng)作。利用所給首句的信息名詞，進行平行主語的敘述，交叉主語的敘述，或直接回扣原文進行敘述。3.本文人物比較單一：主角Alia是整個故事沖突的產(chǎn)生者，解決沖突也是主動在體驗中去進行。配角老師起到輔助作用，引導(dǎo)Alia讓體驗順利進行。所以老師可再寫，也可不寫。筆者的第二段基本都是平行主語

Alia的感受和體驗。范文

Theprocesstookpatienceandprecision.Itwasmuchlikethe

scientificexperiments

Aliaadored.She

closelyobservedtheproportions

ofherface,thewayascientistmight

studyacomplexformula.Eachfeaturedemandedher

undividedfocus,asshecarefully

translatedthethree-dimensionalrealityontothetwo-dimensionalplane.Therhythmofherdrawingmirroredthe

methodicalstepsofascientificprocedure.Slowly,theinitialresistanceandconfusiongavewaytoa

meditativeabsorption

inthetaskathand.Asherself-portraitemergedfrom

aseriesofgeometricguidelines,Aliadiscoveredasenseofachievementinthe

deliberateandthoughtful

applicationofpenciltopaper.

Admiringherwork,Aliafoundthatdrawingwassurprisinglywhatshehadhopedfor.Theself-portraitbeforeherwasnotjust

acollectionoflinesandshapes

but

adeepexploration

ofherownface,

ameticulousexamination

ofherownfeatures.Sherealizedthatartandsciencewerenotsodistinct;both

requiredakeeneye,asteadyhand,andanopenmind.Herinitialskepticismhadbeentransformedintoaquietappreciationfortheunexpectedjoyfound

inthestrokesofherpencil.

Suddenlyitoccurredtoher:Don'tassumeyouwon'tlikesomethinguntilyoutryit.Thisnewfoundappreciationforartwouldforeverintertwinewithherloveforscience,shapingherjourneyofself-discoveryandenablinghertoperceivetheworldthrougharicher,morevibrantlens.

這個過程需要耐心和精確。這很像阿麗亞喜歡的科學實驗。她仔細觀察自己臉部的比例，就像科學家研究復(fù)雜的公式一樣。每個特征都要求她全神貫注，因為她小心翼翼地將三維現(xiàn)實轉(zhuǎn)化為二維平面。她繪畫的節(jié)奏反映了科學程序的有條不紊的步驟。慢慢地，最初的抗拒和困惑讓位于對手頭工作的沉思和專注。當她的自畫像從一系列幾何指南中浮現(xiàn)出來時，Alia發(fā)現(xiàn)了一種成就感，這種成就感來自于鉛筆和紙的深思熟慮的應(yīng)用。在欣賞自己的作品時，阿麗亞發(fā)現(xiàn)繪畫出乎她的意料。她面前的自畫像不僅僅是線條和形狀的集合，而是對自己臉部的深入探索，對自己五官的細致檢查。她意識到藝術(shù)和科學并不是那么涇渭分明;兩者都需要敏銳的眼睛，穩(wěn)健的手和開放的思想。她最初的懷疑已經(jīng)轉(zhuǎn)變?yōu)橐环N安靜的欣賞，因為她在鉛筆的筆觸中發(fā)現(xiàn)了意想不到的快樂。她突然想到:在你嘗試之前，不要假設(shè)你不會喜歡它。這種對藝術(shù)的新發(fā)現(xiàn)將永遠與她對科學的熱愛交織在一起，塑造了她的自我發(fā)現(xiàn)之旅，使她能夠通過更豐富、更有活力的鏡頭來感知世界。

范文升級

Patienceandprecisionwerethekeytotheprocess,resemblingthescientificexperimentsthatAliaheldinhighregard.Sheobservedherfacewithmeticulousattention,akintoascientiststudyingacomplexformula.Eachfeaturecommandedhercompletefocusassheskillfullytranslatedthethree-dimensionalrealityontothetwo-dimensionalplane.Themethodicalstepsofascientificproceduremirroredtherhythmofherdrawing.Gradually,initialresistanceandconfusiondissolved,replacedbyameditativeabsorptioninthetaskathand.Fromaseriesofgeometricguidelines,herself-portraitemerged,bestowinguponAliaasenseofachievementderivedfromthedeliberateandthoughtfulapplicationofpenciltopaper.

Assheadmiredherwork,Aliadiscoveredthatdrawinghadsurprisingqualitiesshehadlongedfor.Theself-portraitbeforehertranscendedmerelinesandshapes,delvingdeepintoanexplorationofherownface,ameticulousexaminationofherownfeatures.Sherealizedthatartandsciencewerenotmutuallyexclusive;bothnecessitatedakeeneye,asteadyhand,andanopenmind.Initialskepticismtransformedintoaquietappreciationfortheunanticipatedjoyfoundinthestrokesofherpencil.Asuddenrealizationstruckher:oneshouldnotassumedisdainforsomethinguntilitisgivenafairtry.Thisnewfoundappreciationforartwouldforeverintertwinewithherloveforscience,shapingherjourneyofself-discoveryandgrantingheraricher,morevibrantlensthroughwhichtoperceivetheworld.下水文1Theprocesstookpatienceandprecision.Lookingintothemirror,Aliacarefullystudiedthesubtlecurvesandanglesofherfaceallthewhilebusycalculatingtheproportionsandmeasuringthegapsbetweenthefeatures.Itseemedasifshewasdealingwithamathproblemsincetheeyes,nose,andmouthshouldbeaccuratelyplacedintherightplace.Withteacher'sguidanceechoinginhermind,eachtimeshestartedwithacircleandbuiltfromthere.AssheproceededAliafoundherselfbecomingmoreengrossedinthetask,forgettingherinitialreluctancetowardsart.Witheachstrokeofthepencil,shedelicatelycapturedtheessenceofheroutline,andherself-portraitslowl