讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)講評(píng)教育親子互動(dòng)類（thealbum）講義-高三英語(yǔ)作文復(fù)習(xí)寫(xiě)作專項(xiàng)

讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)講評(píng)教育、親子互動(dòng)類（thealbum）閱讀下面材料,根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)續(xù)寫(xiě)兩段,使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。ItwasalazySundaymorning,thetypeofdaythatgettingoutofbedrequiresaneffort.WhenMarilynandIenteredthekitchen,Loriwasalreadyatthetabledoingherhomework.Seeingusing,she,suddenly,stoodandfacedme,"WhyaretheremorepicturesofLisathanthereareofme?"sheasked.Lisaisourolderdaughter.Istaredback,notunderstandingthequestion.Loriturnedandlefttheroom.Caughtoffguardbythequestion,IlookedatMarilyn."AretheremorepicturesofLisathanofLori?"Marilynshruggedandraisedhereyebrowsinamotionofpuzzlement."AreyouawarethattherearemorepicturesofLisathanLori?"Iadded.Marilynsaid,"I’venevercountedthem.Idon'tknow."Marilyn'sanswerwasthesameasmythoughts,"Ihadn'trealizedthattherewasanysignificantdifference.NowwhywouldLoriasksuchaquestion?"Iasked.Marilynjustshookherheadandstaredbackatme.Afterafewminutesofthoughtshesaid,"WhenLisawasborn,youweretakingphotographs.Youhardlywentanywherewithoutacamera.WhenLoriwasborn,youwereinvolvedincoloredslides(幻燈片).TheremustbehundredsofslidesofLorisomewhereinthehousethatLorihasneverseenordoesn’tremember."AfterdigestingMarilyn’sremarks,Iagreed."AfterLorileaves,we'lllookforthoseslides.Whoknows,wemayfindmoreslidesofLorithanpicturesofLisa,"Ijoked.Laterthatafternoon,whenwewerealone,wewentintothebasementwherewehadstoredtheboxesthatwehadbroughtfromourprevioushome.Itwasn'tlongbeforewediscoveredthetraysofslides,andfortherestoftheafternoonwelookedateachtray,pointingoutthoseslidesthathighlightedLori."Whatareyougoingtodo?"Marilynasked."It’sherbirthdayinafewweeks,"Isaid,"We'llselectaboutonehundredslideswithLoriandconvertthemintopictures,putthemintoanalbumandgivetoherasagift.Idon'tknowifthealbumwillanswerherquestion,butatleastshe'llknowthatwecareenoughtofindherananswer."注意：1.續(xù)寫(xiě)字?jǐn)?shù)應(yīng)為150左右。2.請(qǐng)按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。Overthenextfewdays,wesecretlywentthroughallourslides._________________________OnNovember24,beforeleavingforwork,Iopenedherdoorandslippedthealbuminside.___________________________________________________________________________Learningobjectives:Bytheendofthisperiod,studentsareexpectedto1.developagoodhabitofimprovingtheirworksafterwritingandhavetheabilitytodoit.2.haveabetterunderstandingofthegivenmaterialbyexploringthestory,thetheme,andthepossibleending.3.buildamorereasonableplotbyfocusingonthekeyinformationandclues.4.developtheabilitytogiveanobjectiveassessmentoftheirwritingbygettingsomeinformationaboutgradingcriteria5.Knowhowtoreviseandpolishuptheirwritingbygraspingsomepracticalskills.LeadinQ1.Howmuchtimedoyouspendoncontinuationwritingintheexam?Q2.Whatdoyouusuallydoafterwriting?Q3.Whatexactlyshouldwedoafterwriting?Firstdraft__________________________________________FinaldraftStep1Reread(Tip1圈劃關(guān)鍵信息和重要情節(jié)，預(yù)測(cè)結(jié)局)ReadforthestoryReadforthethemeReadfortheending/echoWhoWhenWhereWhatThemeEnding/EchoStep2Rethink(Tip2根據(jù)提示句的關(guān)鍵詞確定續(xù)寫(xiě)主要情節(jié),使用正推+反推法列出簡(jiǎn)綱)Thinkabouttheplot（所見(jiàn)、所聞、所說(shuō)、所做）Thinkabouttheemotion（所思所想）Para1:Overthenextfewdays,wesecretlywentthroughallofourslides.時(shí)間，地點(diǎn)，人物，人稱情節(jié)（正推+反推）情感Para2:OnNovember24,beforeleavingforwork,Iopenedherdoorandslippedthealbuminside.時(shí)間，地點(diǎn)，人物，人稱情節(jié)（正推）情感Step3Reflect(Tip3checklist自評(píng)/互評(píng))評(píng)分要點(diǎn)：1）與所給短文及段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)的銜接程度2）內(nèi)容、語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)、詞匯的豐富性和準(zhǔn)確性3）上下文和語(yǔ)句間的連貫性考查：閱讀（讀懂原文）、邏輯思維（情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)）、寫(xiě)作能力（詞匯句式）學(xué)生初稿Para1.Overthenextfewdays,wesecretlywentthroughallourslides.Wechosemanypiecesofslidesandconvertedthemintoalotsofdelicatepictures.InordertopreventusfrombeingfoundbyLori,wedidthemwhileLoriwassleeping.Ihopedthatitcanbeabigsurprise.Icautiouslyputthesedelicatepicturesintoanalbumandmakepreparationsforherbirthdayparty.Iinvitedherfriendsandtheywerealsowillingtohelpus.Everythingwasalready.Assessment:1)________________2)_________________3)___________________Para2.OnNovember24,beforeleavingforwork,Iopenedherdoorandslippedthealbuminside.Loriwasstillsleeping.ThenIsilentlyleftherroomandexceptedhowshewouldthink.WhenIcamehome,LorirantomeandgavemeIbighugandsaidtomehappily.“Mum,nowIhavemorepicturesandevenoverLisa.Iamveryhappy.Thanksmum.”Iwasalsoveryhappyandsaidtoher“Now,wecanstartyourbirthdaypartyandeatcakes.”Loriwasexcitedandjumpedaroundme.Assessment:1)________________2)_________________3)___________________Step4ReviseTips1.詞匯和句型盡量不重復(fù)2.增加形容詞和副詞3.加入一些連詞，增強(qiáng)連貫性4.使用定語(yǔ)從句和非謂語(yǔ)動(dòng)詞5.增加細(xì)節(jié)描寫(xiě)（所見(jiàn)、所聞、所說(shuō)、所做、所想）微技能：1.心理描寫(xiě)我開(kāi)心Iamhappy.(換主語(yǔ)）Asenseofdelight/happinessseizedme.(加并列）Asenseofdelightandexcitementseizedme.(加形容詞/副詞）Instantly,astrongsenseofdelightandexcitementseizedme.2.動(dòng)作描寫(xiě)hugsb/givesbahug/throwone’sarmsaroundsbpatsbontheback/shoulder/headgently3.由“看/聽(tīng)/想”到動(dòng)作/情緒/思緒看到面前可愛(ài)的小狗，男孩的臉上立刻煥發(fā)光彩。Seeingthecutedoginfront,theman’sfacelitupimmediately.聽(tīng)到我的話，他興奮地跳了起來(lái)，點(diǎn)頭同意。Atmywords,hejumpedtohisfeetwithexcitement.聽(tīng)到久違的笑聲，我感到一股暖流涌上心頭。Hearingthefamiliarlaughter,Ifeltasurgeofwarmthwellingupinmyheart.一想到這里，他決定改邪歸正，把歸還給失主。Atthethoughtofthis,hewasdeterminedtomendhiswaysandreturnittotheowner.修改潤(rùn)色Para1.Overthenextfewdays,wesecretlywentthroughallourslides.Wechosemanypiecesofslidesandconvertedthemintodelicatepictures,__________remindedusofthe__________dayswithour______daughter(定從，形容詞).Atthatmoment,__________________________________________________.(心理描寫(xiě))InordertoavoidbeingdiscoveredbyLori,wedidthesewhileLoriwassleeping，________thatitcanbeabigsurpriseforher（非謂語(yǔ)).________(連詞)allthepictures_________cautiously_________intothealbum,everythingwasready.（被動(dòng)）Para2.OnNovember24,beforeleavingforwork,Iopenedherdoorandslippedthealbuminside.Ileftherroomsilently,______________howshewouldreactafterfindingthealbum(非謂語(yǔ)).WhenIcamehomeafterwork,Loriran__________（副詞）tomeandgavemeabighug,_______________inadelightedtone,“Dad,Iloveyou!Thankyousomuchforeverythingyouhavedoneforme!”Upon__________________whatshesaid,I________________________________（動(dòng)作描寫(xiě)）andletoutasighofrelief.Thenweopenedthethickalbumwhileenjoyingthedeliciouscake,laughter_________________thewholeroom.佳作賞析para1.Overthenextfewdays,wesecretlywentthroughallofourslides.WhilepickingouttheonesofLori,thesweetmemoriesfloodedback,remindingusofthehappylifewithourlovelydaughter.Atthatmoment,awaveofhappinessrippledovermyheart,tearsstreamingdownmyface.AfterthecarefulselectionMarilynhadthenconvertedintophotos.Itwasnotlongbeforethephotoswerereturnedandthenweplacedthemintoanalbum.Inaddition,Iattachedabirthdaycardtoitwiththeintentionoftellingherhowimportantsheistous.WithLori’sbirthdayapproaching,MarilynandIdecidedtohideituntilherbirthdayandgiveherabigsurprise.para2.OnNovember24,beforeleavingforwork,Iopenedherdoorandslippedthealbuminside.Afteraday’stiringwork,Idraggedmyfeetbackhome.Uponseeingmeback,Lorirushedstraighttowardsmeandthrewherarmsaroundme,sobbing.Then,atinyvoicecamefromher,“Iloveyou,Daddy.I’msorrytohavemisunderstoodyou.”Ihuggedhertightlyandpattedherontheback,sayinginafortingtone,“It’sOK,sweetheart.YouknowMommyandIloveyoutoo.”ItwasthenthatIrealizedIhadgottheanswerandourmessageoflovehadbeenreceived.